So I really should be updating 'Liberty and Justice for All' and I already have the new chapter written. The problem: My mom unhooked our computer at her house. I don't want to rewrite the chapter, so I hope this makes up for that.

I have to warn you that this fic has some graphic themes that may bring up traumatic experiences for some. This is not intended to relive those experiences and if it relates to you in a bad way, I'm so very sorry.

Big Time Rush- ©2010 Nickelodeon


James knew he really shouldn't be doing all the dancing and flipping around that Gustavo was making him. Especially since they had started learning more intricate moves that involved a lot of falling and therefore colliding with the ground.

That being said, there was no way he could make up a valid excuse to get out of such activities. Then all the guys would know something was up. And it wasn't an easy task telling your friends that you were three months pregnant with your other band mate's child.

So he just bit his tongue and did the tricks like he was told.

One day while in the studio, James was already sweating like a MoFo from all the other work they were doing. Kendall had asked him if he was alright and he just shrugged it off as not eating enough to boost his energy. The others dismissed the problem, though Logan stared at him for an extra second. But being the reliable friend he was, he didn't mention that James had inhaled almost everything in their refrigerator that very morning.

That was when their newest dance instructor, Mat, taught them the newest move. It involved contorting your body in a way that couldn't be human. Then you'd have to fly through the air and land on your feet. It was almost impossible for the rest of the band to do, so there was no way James could in his current state.

But still, he had to try. Or else everyone would be suspicious and his secret would be exposed. So after gulping down half his water bottle, James stood and attempted the move. He swiftly fell flat on his back. He winced and lay there for a second.

"C'mon James, don't be such a wimp," Carlos taunted as he replaced his helmet on his head. James rolled his eyes and stood back up, ready to try again.

This was the moment of truth. He knew that if he fell again he couldn't get back up. Then everyone would panic and it'd be a big deal. Everyone would disown him for being a freak of nature. Basically, his life would be over.

Before he could try again, James noticed a sharp cramp in his side. It hurt so much, but he thought it was normal. Probably from drinking too much water too quickly. He bit his lip and tried it again.

After flailing like a moron and trying to clutch his side which hurt more than he thought was bearable, James was lying on his back on the wooden floor. No one really seemed to notice. The sandy haired boy however knew there was no way he was getting up. His stomach was burning now so much that he thought he'd puke.

"James!" Logan was the first to realize he was hurt. He ran over to the boy and looked down at him.

"I'm fine," James slurred, hold his stomach tight.

"There's blood running down your legs," the other boy observed. James sat up and saw that was true. Blood was completely covering his sweatpants and turning them a sickly shade of red.

By that time, everyone else in the room had stopped and was leaning over James. He tried to think, but it was hard with all the heat in the room and the clenching in his lower half.

"What's going on?" Carlos asked Logan, who looked terrified.

"I don't know. James, do you know anything?"

That's when he realized something. But it couldn't be true. There was no way. That didn't happen in real life. It only on TV and all those fake talk shows. Real people lasted the entire pregnancy.

He sputtered for a couple second before speaking. "I-I'm having a-a m-miscarriage…"

Silence hushed through the crowd of people. It was hard to comprehend what was going on. James wasn't even sure he knew what was going on.

Finally, Kendall spoke. "James…why didn't you tell me?" he asked, taking James' hand in his own, intertwining their fingers. There was no more hiding. Definitely not now.

"I thought you'd hate me," James slurred out. Kendall closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against the other boy's. Tears were running down both their cheeks by now.

"I could never hate you…" he mumbled, "It is…was…my baby. I could've helped you. James…you didn't have to do this…"

Both were sobbing now and though there was basically nothing there anymore, Kendall placed his hand on James' stomach as they cried.

After what felt like hours, the pain started to secede. By this time, both of them were completely covered in blood and other things that neither wanted to admit to being there. It was too painful.

James finally closed his eyes and felt himself drifting off. The last thing he saw was the pool of blood around him before he went to sleep, thinking in his head…

I'm sorry, Ophelia.