A/N: Wow. That wasn't a looooooong break or anything... But YES, I'm alive and updating! Enjoy, people!
Looking down at the note, she read out the words. She looked like she was reading her own death sentence. "Enjoy your stay! Don't worry, the walls are thick enough! Love, the Hotel Manager"
Oh. My. God.
For a long moment, neither pirate moved. Clock across the room noisily reminded them that time was still passing.
"Soooo…." Zoro tried, desperately hoping for something to distract them from that VERY disturbing letter. Since Nami didn't make any move to show that she heard him, the swordsman let his voice trail off into nothing.
After another awkward minute of silence, Nami walked forward into the room slowly, like she was trapped in a slow-motion dream. With equally sluggish movements, she reached into her purse and started rummaging for something.
Maybe she has some crazy Usopp-invention to get them out of here! Zoro thought, absolutely thrilled with his conclusion.
Zoro's eyes bugged out of his head. What the HELL? THIS is her secret weapon? NAIL CLIPPERS?
"What?" she snapped, annoyed.
Finally noticing his freaked-out stare, she rolled her eyes. "Just keeping my pedicure perfect," she announced primly.
Jeez, was she a spoiled princess? Her pedicure?
Examining her nails one final time, she seemed to realize that her nails couldn't get any more perfect. Smiling in satisfaction, she started punching in her pillow with a fearsome ferocity.
Whap. An overstuffed pillow hit him square in the mouth, exploding a little.
Spitting out feathers, he snarled "What was that for? Crazy woman…"
"Goodnight, baka. Enjoy the floor."
Click. The lights went off.
"Oi, oi! Aren't you deciding this a little too fast?"
"No. Shut up and sleep."
Zoro rolled his eyes, muttering something about PMSing.
As soon as he lay his head on the floor, he realized they may have a problem. Standing up quickly, he strode over to the bed and hopped in.
"HEY! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE—"
"The floor smells bad."
"Geez, yell a bit louder. It's not like I'm a foot away from you…"
Nami took a deep breath and counted in her head. One idiot, Two idiots, Three idiots, Four… Screw that. She needed answers.
"What do you mean, dearest Zoro?" She spit out between clenched teeth.
"The floor's perfumed."
"And your problem is…?"
"I am a MAN."
"MEN don't smell like lilies!"
"What is your problem with hygiene? Do you realize that NONE of you guys ever shower? EVER? Do you know what I go through every day? Standing next to you guys, EATING with you guys? DISGUSTING! Out of all the crew members, only Robin, Brooke, Sanji, and I smell DECENT! Robin and I, because we ARE INTELLIGENT HUMAN BEINGS! It is physically impossible for Brooke to have B.O., and Sanji showers at LEAST weekly!"
"Like I said, woman. REAL men don't smell like lilies."
The navigator huffed in frustration.
"Fine. Don't sleep on the floor. What exactly is your backup plan, hmmm?"
Zoro glanced around him like the answer was the easiest thing in the world. Well, yeah it was.
"Ohhhh no. No no no no NO NO NO!"
"You want the floor?"
The glare Nami gave him was full of the fires of hell.
Zoro's grinned widened. I win! He thought in satisfaction.
"First, let's establish the rules."
"This," Nami said, building a pillow wall, "is MY side."
Zoro grunted. Sure, his side was smaller, but he would take what he could get.
"Next, there will be no… inappropriateness."
"Amen. Like I'd want to touch you."
A strange look flashed across Nami's face. It was gone before Zoro could figure it out, but it still made him feel…guilty.
"Well, it's weird, cause we're nakama and—" He tried making up for his verbal typo, but the navigator plowed on relentlessly.
"Next, you are to take your shirt off."
"EXCUSE ME? What happened to the inappropriatene—"
"Shut up, baka. Not like that!"
"Really? Cause it sure didn't sound like it…"
"You stink. The shirt stinks. I will not have my head anywhere near that. Shirt. Goes. Away."
"Fine. Deal off. Enjoy the floor, Smelly."
Zoro grumbled a bit more about that stupid concept girls had of hygiene, but removed the shirt. Now that he thought about it, he wasn't sure if it had ever been washed. Okay, maybe the evil witch had a point.
"Next, you owe me ten thousand berries."
"And finally, -"
"Oi, Oi! Back up to the money bit. What do I owe you for?"
"I am generous enough to let you sleep here. I'm charging you per minute, and I already added your Snoring Tax in. If you add this ten thousand to what you already owe me, you have a grand total of—"
"OKAY, okay! I don't want to know! Wait. SNORING TAX? What ARE you?"
"FINALLY, I already know that asking you not to snore is a lost cause. But I will tax you for it. But my last rule is that you will not fart or burp in your sleep. Or I will start charging 400% interest."
"OI! I don't—"
"You ate a chili dog for dinner. Yes, I think you do."
"But in my sleep? I can't control—"
"You will. Goodnight."
After a long hour, Nami was still awake. She was trying to sleep, but somehow her mind couldn't turn off. And she knew why.
"Did you hear me?"
"You're hogging the blanket."
"Urrrgh… Nami… Shutt… Urrrrppp…"
Nami frowned. It actually was really cold. She had brought this to the swordsman's attention several times, but he just wasn't listening. Fed up, she reached over and gave the blanket a ferocious yank.
Sighing with contentment, Nami wrapped the comforter around her. So warm…
Now it was Zoro's turn in the cold. He hated the cold. Gripping the blanket, he gave it a tug. He barely got an inch of blanket. Nami, being smart, had curled the comforter around her so she was pinning it below her, making it impossible to retrieve without excessive force. Well, if that was the way she wanted to play it…
"単一の包括的なスタイル …" he muttered, "竜巻!" ("Single Blanket Style… TORNADO!")
Ripping it from underneath her, Nami was spun out of the bed, landing with a thump. Glancing up, she saw Zoro triumphantly wrapping it around him.
Bring it, Zoro… She thought evilly. Reaching into her purse, she took out her Clima-Tact and hid it behind her as she climbed back into bed. Slowly, she inched her her hand closer to the fleece comforter.
Okay, so maybe this wasn't Usopp's intention for her weapon, but Nami still had to appreciate the yelp Zoro let out as he received the static shock of his life.
"Truce?" He offered, not wanting to have his brain fried before morning.
Considering it for a second, she relented. "Yeah. Truce."
She tossed the Clima-Tact back into her purse and pulled the blanket towards her. In a second, it was tugged back off of her.
"Hey! What happened to our truce, baka?"
"Well, I'm sorry, Your Highness, but the blanket's kinda small!"
"Well, maybe if we get a little closer together…"
Zoro scooted over, taking down the pillow wall as he went.
Their shoulders were now touching, but they didn't want to think about that. Or the fact that the blanket was STILL too small.
"You still cold?" He asked.
"Hey, if it's not too awkward, do you think we should…?"
Zoro nodded. He then realized that she probably couldn't see that in the dark, so he went ahead and put his arm around her. She tilted her head a bit so she was using his arm like a pillow, and her arm instinctively moved so she was kind of hugging him. Zoro moved his other arm to circle her waist.
"Thanks, Zoro. It's definitely warmer now."
"Mmm. You're welcome."
They lay there in silence for a while, trying unsuccessfully to convince their own minds that this didn't feel natural or comfortable. That they weren't going to miss this when they had to leave the island. And maybe, that this was what they both wanted all along.
"You're feet are cold."
A/N: So? Whadja think? Review? :3