February 13, 2002

HATRED

By Yashira

I hate... pure and simple... I completely hate everything around me. Like tortured dust upon a sea of glass, my reflection is blurred and filled with spite. Those that see me, watch my smile, watch the way I move my beautifully crafted body with all intents and purposes to deceive.

…but I hate…

My feelings are all consuming, they fill up my soul like the bounteous cornucopia cup of plenty… blood and fire... destruction and dismay... My heart is gleeful to those that surcome to my vicious charms and lies… my heart, in its twisted glory, beating as one with it million surrogated pieces is appeased by the split blood of the innocent... the split blood of those who so hurtfully taint themselves..

... and I hate…

Yet it is so simple the web of deceit I weave… My heart rejoices to those that come willingly into my traps. How easy it is… to be deceived that my contempt for their pathetic cries and heartache make me sneer so condenscingly. It is so easy because I work with a thread of truth that is so willingly able to twist into betrayal. I sometimes wonder how steadfast those that fall into my vicious trap for they are so bound up by my wicked treads.

… oh how I despise them..

The fire of that emotion soothes me, they keep me on edge. Watchful vivid… how easy it is to live with such hatred. Yet there is so much more that makes me what I am. I do so enjoy the pain I cause because they deserve it… it's their fault. If I can't get what I want, why should they? Why should they matter when I have to watch from the shadows.

… and I hate them the more for their lives…

Oh how I hate them and yet I must care soooooo much to specifically cause such stunning disarray. Odd thought, I must care enough to hate.. how utterly senseless, but then again I have never made any sense in what I do. I destroyed Kikyo and Inuyasha because I wanted the jewel.. I wanted it when I knew I could not have it… or her.. This feeling for her... makes me so viciously disgusted with myself…

I HATE HER…

I HATE MYSELF…

…AND STILL I HATE…