The Alternative of Haruhi Suzumiya

Disclaimer: The Haruhi Suzumiya series is the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa. I simply only own my copy of the DVDs.

Chapter 1: I wish I wish I was a…

Friday-perhaps one of the most blessed days there is. The school week ends, the weekend begins and you're freed from the shackles of the educational juggernaut for a fleeting, but lasting moment. Or at least that's how it'd be for me if Haruhi didn't go dragging us off to fulfil her crazy errands. But, at least I can deal with it better outside than within these dull, dull, dull…

"Kyon! Wake up!" yelled a voice behind me. My collar was grabbed and next thing I knew, a sharp pain went through my head as it collided with the rear desk. I was now staring up into the face of Haruhi Suzumiya. Guess I must've fallen asleep. Something…I was thinking of something and drifted off. Oh, right-the dull, monotone walls that could be found throughout the school. I righted myself as best I could, rubbing my head, half dazed from the sudden pain and the other half from drowsiness.

Fortunately, she woke me up after class. If it'd been during class, my humiliation would've been beyond words. "Honestly, Kyon," said Haruhi with a light scowl. "You need to keep yourself alert and awake! I won't have any brigade members falling unconscious on the job!" Yes, yes, whatever you say Haruhi.

The walk home was fairly uneventful. That is until Haruhi spoke up. "Hey, Kyon," she asked. "You ever wonder what things would be like if they were different?"

Different? "What brought this up all of a sudden?" I replied.

"Well, I saw this movie last night where this guy travelled back in time…" she explained. "And when he came back to the present, everything was different. All the things he did had changed the future!"

Trust Haruhi to go watching something involving time travel. I'm sure Asahina could tell her all about it…well, if she didn't have the impediment of classifying everything.

"So, that got me thinking: what if things ended up differently?" she continued. "What if the atom bombs were never dropped? What if we never landed on the moon? What if the dinosaurs never died out? The list goes on."

Actually, that did provide an interesting thought. I guess for all the hardships she puts me through, Haruhi does have her moments of brilliance. Hell, she can be a charming person sometimes…wait, what the hell am I thinking? Damn it, Kyon! Don't you remember what happens when you let your guard down? You get a harsh slap back to reality when you remember the hardships.

I was able to drag my thoughts out of this rut just in time to notice Haruhi was asking me a question. "What do you think things would be like if we never met?" she queried. Hmm, what would things be like? I suppose she'd never start the SOS Brigade, I'd have led a normal yet boring life and never met Nagato, Asahina and Koizumi and…oh right, she'd get bored, destroy the world and make a new one.

"…I couldn't possibly imagine a world like that!" I nervously answered. I don't want her to make that a reality. Isn't the sole reason I exist because she wants me to?

Haruhi seemed content enough with my response, though. Eventually, it came time to go our separate paths. "We're meeting up in the city, same place, same time, tomorrow," she said. "Don't be late!" And with that, she ran off.

I, meanwhile, eventually made my way home, had some dinner, did some homework and tried to rest up for tomorrow. I guess it is a good thing that I did meet Haruhi, because otherwise my life would be hideously boring without the sporadic moments of insanity.

As I lay in my bed, getting ready to drift off to sleep, it came to my attention there was a slight breeze…which was odd, as the window was closed. I opened my eyes and sat up…sitting right in front of me was a sparking point of air, where it seemed to swirl like a vortex. Oh hell. Can't I just transition to the weekend in a peaceful way? The vortex eventually began to expand as sparks and electrical bolts extended from the 'singularity'. I noticed the breeze becoming stronger. This didn't look good.

Thinking quickly, I reached for my phone, attempting to dial Nagato's number, but my phone wasn't getting a signal. I had a feeling the large black hole forming behind me had something to do with that. Finally, I tried to open the door, but it wouldn't budge. I yelled, but no one heard me. I suddenly realised that there were no noises coming from outside or anywhere else…only the whirling of the vortex and crackle of energy bolts coursing through it.

I knew I'd regret it, but decided to turn around. What I saw didn't really calm me down. The vortex was now glowing with a bright light from the singularity and the pull was getting stronger. It was literally sucking me in. I could tell, because my sheets had ceased moving-it was directing all it's force into sucking me in. I grabbed a hold of the door handle. My stomach dropped as my body registered the fact that it had been lifted off its feet and was now pointing feet first towards the vortex.

A point I'd like to make clear at this point is sweat. Sweat is good to cool you off when you're hot, but when you're in a panic, it's very counter productive. Remember; always wear gloves in a situation where you need to grab a hold of something tight. Why do I say this? Mainly because sweat was the number one cause of what made me lose my grip and fall into the vortex, screaming in terror.

I can't even begin to describe some of the things I saw inside of there. Mainly because they either defied description or slipped my memory for being too horrible to remember. All's I do know is that when I woke up, I was in my bed. What was that? Some kind of crazy arse dream? I really need to get a vacation…

I sat up and stretched…then froze when I became aware someone was in bed with me. Tilting my head ever so carefully, I saw none other than my own sleeping face. Needless to say, I gawked. Did Haruhi clone me or something in my sleep? What should I do-wake him up or get the hell out of here?

Looks like option one was already in action as I saw myself begin to stir and repeat the routine I did a moment ago. Even up to the freezing of noticing he wasn't alone. And the slow turn of the head…any moment now…

What I did not expect was his great yelp of surprise. He pointed a finger at me. "SHOCK AND HORROR!" he said in a loud, clear and overly dramatic voice. "I am not alone this morning! My humble bed has a visitor!" I blinked.

"What? Why are you talking like that?" I asked.

"Do my eyes deceive me?" he blurted. "Before my own face is just that: my face!" I sat there in disbelief at this man who looked and sounded like me…well, sounded if I ever decided to speak like someone out of an over-the-top manga.

"Doppelganger! Who are you?" he inquired.

"Uh…I think it's safe to say we are the same person…sorta…" I replied, meekly compared to his boisterous form of communication. "Look, could you keep it down? I'm pretty sure you have a sister like me, and we don't need to wake her up to find she has two brothers."

My twin nodded in agreement. "'Tis most bizarre, but I will heed my own warnings." He said…err, I said? How the hell am I supposed to tell?

"Now, listen up my handsome friend," he/I started. "Dear sweet, yet bitter, sister cannot learn that her brother is now brothers! Therefore, I recommend you find a safe place to hide yourself! When the time is right, I shall deliver you to Nagato! She will know how to aid us in our darkest hour."

Is this guy really me? He talks like a comic book character! "Uh…right…I'll just, uh…" I stuttered. "Wait, how am I going to hide again?"

My 'friend' gave a triumphant pose and reassured me. "Fear not, my dear self! I shall escort you to the bathroom so you may change into my garb!" he said, handing me a spare uniform. "Then, when you are ready, I shall create a distraction to keep dear sister occupied and allow you to make a hasty retreat! And don't worry about your empty stomach…I shall provide BREAKFAST!" I think he overdid the breakfast point, but it was a good deal still.

He/I opened the door and looked ahead. When we were satisfied all was clear, I snuck into the bathroom and began to change. Once fully dressed, I made my exit, while my clone went downstairs. "Good morning, dear sister! How are you this morn?" I heard.

"I do well, brother! Breakfast will be available in a mere 300 seconds!"

"300 seconds? Why that is but five minutes!"

"Well done, brother! You're arithmetic is top notch as always!"

I heard an uproar of boisterous laughter…and decided it would be a good idea to find a way back to my own world soon. After finding a hiding spot in the bushes outside the house, I waited patiently for my other self to bring me my share of breakfast. Damn it, Haruhi. What have you gotten me into this time?