Disclaimer: I don't own Soul Eater.

A/N: I was slightly surprised that I haven't seen a story quite like this before, so I decided to make one myself. It's my first attempt into anything even remotely suggestive, so I apologize if it's not exactly perfect. And now some warnings:

WARNINGS! Spoilers through the end of the anime. Masturbation with a symmetry kink and possibly a slightly OOC Kid. I don't think he's asexual, but for as much as he loves symmetry, I don't actually think he would go this far. It's fun to think about, though. So, if this isn't your cup of tea, please leave now. If you do read through, feel free to criticize me in any way you see fit.

Now, on with the story.

Loving Symmetry

Kid dragged himself wearily into his house, sighing as he examined the carnage. Every picture frame was off-center, skewed from the impact of Death City running towards Arachnophobia's hideout. Dishes were scattered every which direction, candles were broken into pieces, and even his bed had ended up against the east wall, instead of the middle of his room.

He could hardly remember what his home was like before the battle, having spent so much time fighting against Asura, finding Eibon's tools, and staying with his father as he recovered from his injuries. However, now was the time to rebuild, not rest as Kid so desperately wanted. He surveyed the damage again.

'I couldn't sleep with the décor in shambles like this, anyway,' he thought, and picked up a plate.

The Shinigami opened two side-by-side cabinet doors to the same space before filling in the plates, one stack to the far left and one to the far right. In between, bowls were placed in four stacks of six bowls each. On the top shelf, the glasses were placed in four rows of eight. With the whole task taking only half an hour, Kid was mildly impressed with himself.

The next task was the candles, and he slowly opened the drawer where he kept stacks of neatly aligned replacement candles. A tentative glance later and Kid sighed in relief. Not a single one had been broken. Changing them out was a quick effort, and he made sure every candle-holder was perfectly set and straight.

By this time, the reaper couldn't believe how elated he felt. Every piece of furniture he set back in order sent a chill down his spine. The wonderful display of symmetry was like a drug to his system, addicting and influencing, a high he couldn't escape. He couldn't stop: everything had to be perfect before he quit for the night.

Next, Kid pulled a tape measure out of his supply drawer. Realigning the picture frames was a tedious challenge, but he was up for it. For all of his twenty-four frames, he ran the measure along the wall vertically before then measuring each side's distance from the corner of the wall. He finished by comparing the diagonal angle of the bottom corner of the picture to the edge of the floor. One of the frames was especially difficult. It took seven measurements to make it perfectly centered, and Kid threw in an extra measurement, just to make it an even (and symmetrical) eight. When he was at last completely satisfied, he grinned giddily before returning to some minor tasks. He reassured himself that the toilet paper was folded properly and the shampoo and soap bottles were in a tidy line.

That just left the bed. Kid almost regretted letting the Thompson sisters hit the town for a night of celebratory fun, but he could handle this. Grabbing the left side, he pulled the frame as hard as he could, panting slightly as he dragged it back to the center of his bedroom. He shoved with his back to get it flush against the wall, directly beneath a painting he had fixed earlier.

'Is that it? Is it done?'

Eagerly, he worked his way through the symmetrical house, finding nothing wrong. Upon arriving at the bedroom again, he let out a contented sigh, trembling with excitement at his accomplishment. It wasn't until he bowed his head in relief that he noticed something that completely threw off the balance of the room.

A small bulge had appeared near the right inseam of Kid's pants.

Startled at first, he was only slightly confused as to why it would be there in the first place until he remembered that he truly hadn't had any time to himself in a very long time, and he was excited for his house's completion. It seemed the stress from the past days had contributed as well, as his body had started relaxing to the point of feeling pleasurable. Kid knew he could let it go away on its own, the more respectable choice, but it had been so…long…

He let his hand drift over the protrusion and brushed it lightly. The sharp spike of ecstasy caused his head to fly back as he gasped. He dropped himself gently to his knees as he continued to rub rhythmically against the fabric. His hips rose and fell with each stroke, his head still falling backwards and his face starting to flush.

Kid's mind started to wander, and he let it race free. Its first stop was reenacting the excitement he had felt as each piece of his house was reset into order. The jolts of pleasure caused him to press harder against his stiffening flesh, letting out a small groan as he did. But, his imagination didn't end there.

Next up was his experience at Soul and Maka's house, when Blair invited them into the tub with her. As her towel fluttered down, he couldn't help but stare at the cat-girls breasts. They were the perfect size, and of equal appearance to each other. The symmetry was wonderfully arousing to the now-flustered and panting Kid, and he moaned a quiet "Y-yes…!" at remembering, continuing the pressure at his groin, hips thrusting to meet his hand.

His body was starting to burn, sweat slicking his already sleek black hair. He fumbled left-handedly to unbutton his shirt, managing slowly until it was exposing his chest to the air and providing slight relief to the heat. He debated taking a short break to collect himself, but his imagination wasn't going to allow him to. It surged ahead into another memory.

This time, he remembered when he was chasing down Free the werewolf in the ruins beneath the D.W.M.A. Broken structures were scattered everywhere, and the thought was almost enough to diminish his arousal. However, Liz and Patty were enough to bring him back as they had provided images of symmetrical objects to keep his focus. The thought of his weapons' voices indulging his obsession willingly was almost too much to bear. Kid wondered briefly what Liz would think if she knew he was having a reaction to what she said, but his whimper as the front of his pants became damp drove his curiosity from his mind.

He knew he was reaching his breaking point ever so gradually. Having enough of simple teasing, he scrambled to unzip his dress pants, reaching a single finger inside his boxers, running it up his length. At the contact, he slumped forward onto his forearm, still kneeling on his knees, the other hand occupied in its mission to provide Kid with as much pleasure as he could take, easing his erection out over his waistband.

Gripping himself tightly, his fantasies took on an almost violent edge: the bloodlust he felt at defeating Black Star for damaging the D.W.M.A. building, or the implicit feeling of being one with symmetry as he fought Asura. He may have been unconscious at the time, but his body had no problem remembering the power he had felt. It was a rush of adrenaline as his soul took over, powerful weapons thrumming with energy before firing, a massive release of his pure soul wavelength. He jerked violently at the feeling, growing impossibly harder as he dripped over his hand and stroked faster, squeezing tightly every so often and swiping his thumb over his tip.

Flipping over again, he rested against the foot of his bed, speeding up further as one last fantasy overtook him. He massaged his slick erection while thinking of the feel of Patty and Liz as guns in his hand ('Not as humans, he thought briefly, their breasts aren't…' A harsh tug as he gasped brought him back to the task at hand.). As weapons, they were perfectly balanced as he twirled them and used them to attack. At this point, he was biting his lip to prevent himself from making any embarrassing noises, and still his thoughts continued. He wondered what it would be like to be a weapon, being held by another person. Could you feel anything at all? Did it ever hurt, or was it ever somehow…pleasurable?

The young Shinigami braced himself with his legs as he lost his final shred of control, reaching a blinding orgasm. He spilled onto his stomach as he cried out in euphoria, white blinding his vision as he squeezed his eyes tightly shut. Aftershocks continued to shake his body for minutes after his climax, each eliciting a soft moan from the tired reaper.

Kid knew he should clean up, but his body didn't agree. Dropping his hands to the side after tucking himself back in, he drifted off into a much needed sleep.

"Kid! Kid! Kid?" Patty wailed, tromping through the house. She was far too giddy from her night on the town and was eager to share it with her meister.

"He might be asleep by now. I'll go check on him," Liz said softly.

"Oh~. I'll go, too! I'll go, too!"

The older sister almost sighed. Patty was sure a force to be reckoned with sometimes. "Fine, just do it quietly, okay?" The younger nodded and motioned to zip her lips. The siblings worked their way to the Shinigami's room, peeking in through a slightly cracked door. They felt their eyes widen considerably. There, leaning against the center of his bed, sat an unconscious Kid. His hair was sweat-slicked straight back, legs propped on either side of his body with his arms at his sides. The undone shirt and pants along with the puddle of liquid on his stomach left no doubt as to what he had done.

Clapping a hand over Patty's mouth to prevent her from breaking down into obnoxious laughter, the older sister scoffed and rolled her eyes to mask her embarrassment. "Even after something like that, he's still symmetrical," she remarked sarcastically, and lightly closed the door behind her.