Disclaimer: Just Shoot Me characters belong to their rightful owners. I make no money off this story and it's purely for entertainment use.
All kinds of feedback are welcomed. Enjoy the show!
CHAPTER ONE: ACCIDENTS HAPPEN
At the office, Valentine's Day.
Finch sat at the meeting table, making cupids and hearts out of construction paper. He picked up a little bottle of glitter and sprinkled it all over the wings of the cupid.
"Hee hee, shiny!" he sing sang, bouncing in the chair.
"Dennis," Jack called him out as he stepped out of the elevator. "I've told you over and over to use your own address when ordering this crap," he added, throwing a bag on the table in front of Finch.
"Ooh, Girls Gone Wild!" Finch exclaimed, unwrapping the video. "On campus fantasies for the frat boy inside all of us."
Ignoring Finch, Jack opened the door to his office, but stopped dead on his tracks. "Dennis? What the hell is this?"
Finch stood up quickly with a jump. "It's Valentine's Day!"
Jack walked inside, where there were thousands of cupids hanging from the ceiling, posters all over the walls, and the desk covered with hearts.
"Do you like it? I stayed up all night making them," Finch said, excited.
"They're... red," Jack said. Trying not to hurt Finch's feelings, he just forced a smile. "Thank you, Dennis. I was going to save this for Christmas, but here you go, Happy Valentine's Day."
Taking the wrapped present from Jack's hands, Finch breathed happily as he opened it. He let out a gasp. "A new glue gun!"
"It's endorsed by Martha Stewart," Jack noticed.
"Thanks, Jack! I'm gonna try it right away!" Finch said, running out of the room and sitting in the table. He tried to open the package, but the plastic wouldn't give away. "Damn child proof."
"Need a little help?" Elliott said as he approached the table.
"Elliott please, I'm a grown man," Finch snapped. "I think I'm capable of handling plastic wrapping." Giving the package a couple of more tugs, he finally threw it on the table and went back to his cupids and hearts. "I don't wanna wear it out so soon."
"Yeah," Elliott nodded with a smile.
"Happy Crap-Valentine's Day," a grumpy Maya said as she walked over and threw a box of chocolates on the table, sitting down on a chair.
"Ooh, somebody's ovulating," Finch muttered. Maya shot him a death glance, so he picked up some scissors and started cutting on the red paper again.
"Is everything okay?" Elliott asked, sitting next to her.
"You know, it's not even a real holiday anyway. I mean, why should we celebrate love only once a year? Why can't we say 'I love you' or buy chocolates on the 13th, or the 15th. Why? It's all about commercialism and sales," she fumed.
"Date stood you up?" Elliott asked.
"Oh, who said I really wanted to go?!" Maya replied, angry.
"You know in some cultures not having a date is considered sexy?" Finch began. Maya and Elliott kept staring at him, but he didn't continue.
"And?" Maya asked.
"And, unfortunately we're not those cultures, so... loser!" he sang and stood up to answer the phone.
"See?" Maya told Elliott.
"Maya, don't feel bad. I don't have a date," Elliott said.
"You don't?" Maya asked. "Why? There are no more models left in America?"
Elliott shook his head. "Nope, those days are over. Say hello to the new Elliott."
Maya shook her head. "You won't last a month."
"Maybe I will, after all, there are no more models left in America." He smiled, but was unsuccessful in bringing Maya out of her depression. "Why don't you come over tonight? We can watch a movie, eat some chocolate, and forget about this whole Valentine's pressure."
"I don't know," Maya said a little sour.
"I have milk and white chocolate," Elliott teased. "And I'll let you pick the movie."
"Really?" Maya asked, interested.
"Even Thelma and Louise?" she asked.
Elliott swallowed hard, looking around to get the bad taste of the movie out of his mouth. "Why not?" he forced himself to say.
Maya smiled. "Okay, but you're not doing this because you want me to set you up with one of my friends, are you?"
"Maya, I'm offended," Elliott said, putting his hand on his chest. "We dated for a year, don't you trust me? Plus, I made a vow in college to date only women who shave under their arm pits."
Maya let her head fall back. "Fine, I'll be there at 6."
"That's all I ask for," Elliott said as he stood up and walked towards his studio.
"Maya," Finch said as he walked over with a little red envelope. "I want to apologize for my earlier behavior. Here's a Valentine's card."
"Oh, thanks Finch," Maya said and opened up the envelope, taking the card out. "I Choo-Choose You to be my Valentine's." She looked up and gave Finch an awkward look.
"Get it? The train says choo choo," Finch laughed sheepishly.
"Aren't you a little old to be giving these out?" Maya asked.
Finch ignored her, and greeted Nina instead, who was getting off the elevator with shades and almost stumbling over. "Nina! I have a Valentine's Day card for you."
Nina picked up the envelope, barely able to read the card. "Be Mine? Alright, but you're gonna have to give my uterus a chance to recuperate."
"Nina are you okay?" Maya asked.
Nina finally took her shades off, flinching at the lights. "I have a little hangover from that Trump party."
"That was 3 days ago," Finch said.
"It was an open bar," Nina said sheepishly. "Anyway, I need something strong before I go on tonight's date."
"Oh, you have a date also?" Maya said.
Nina smiled. "Yes, I met them last month at the carnival."
"The amazing Farelli brothers!" Nina announced. "Trust me, they are amazing," she winked at Maya.
"You're dating carnies?" Maya asked.
"She's 3 drinks away from being a carnie," Finch said.
"For your information the Farelli brothers are not freaks, they happen to be two men joined at the earlobes, now there's nothing weird about that," Nina said.
Maya raised her eyebrows and began to walk away. "Well, good luck with that."
"Where do you meet these freaks, anyway," Finch asked.
Nina laughed. "Finch, Nina Van Horn doesn't meet men, men come to her."
"Yeah, and I really enjoy giving Jack dandruff cleansings," Finch said. "I've seen you preying on men like your plane is going down."
"Ah, the concord. You think doing it under water is exciting, try doing it 3,000 feet above ground," she snorted. "Let's just say that oxygen mask can do wonders for the penile dysfunction."
"Finch!" Jack called from his office, kicking away St. Valentine's Day decorations.
"Boss?" Finch replied as he rushed through the door.
"Did you mail out those Valentine's gifts to my ex wives like I asked?"
"Yes I did. Five chocolate boxes, three of them have a powerful laxative inside. Where it goes? Nobody knows!" Finch said.
"Perfect," Jack said, lighting a tobacco. "Dennis, my boy, once you reach that fourth marriage you'll realize that there's more to a divorce than settlements. They might take your money, but you have to show them who carries the torch."
"Got it," Finch pretended to write it down on a pad. "Still want me to send that lingerie to Roberta?"
"Is the itching powder extra powerful?"
"Is the Pope Catholic?" Finch smiles.
Elliott and Maya sat by the couch with two glasses of wine in front of them. There were little pieces of paper all over the floor, empty boxes of chocolate on the table. They were laughing uncontrollably and Maya had to turn off the television to catch her breath.
"Oh, I didn't know Nina's television series could be so funny," Maya laughed.
"You haven't seen her porn movies," Elliott added.
Maya turned serious. "What?"
Elliott tried to fix it. "I mean, I don't know, Finch told me."
Maya shook her head but smiled. "Oh, Elliott, thank you so much for this. I think this is the best... February 14th I've spent."
"It was my pleasure," Elliott said, pouring some more wine on their glasses.
"It's just so much pressure when you reach a certain age and you're not married with kids. I can't even get a decent date, how am I going to make it to marriage?" she asked.
"I wasn't a decent date?" Elliott asked.
Maya's head danced for a second. "Well, despite the fact that all of your marriage proposals were followed by a trip to the emergency room... maybe you were a little decent."
Elliott just shook his head, a little bothered by the topic. "Well, for the record, you're the only woman who took me that far."
"Yeah," Maya said.
"I guess my body doesn't really like the word marriage," Elliott said.
"So tell me the truth," Maya asked, changing the subject slightly. "You really didn't have a date tonight?"
"I already told you," Elliott said.
"Yeah," he said too casually.
"Elliott, your ears get red when you lie," Maya smiled.
"Okay, fine, maybe I had a date," Elliott caved in.
"Maybe?" Maya asked.
Elliott nodded. "Maybe this months' cover asked me out to dinner at the Russian Tea Room."
"Elliott!" Maya exclaimed.
"What?" he asked.
"You cancelled a date with a model?"
Elliott shrugged his shoulders. "You know, she had a mole on her knee? Who has a mole on their knee, Maya?!"
"Did you cancel the date just to make me feel better?"
"No," Elliott said quickly. Maya kept staring at him, so he just took a sip of his wine. "I mean, no, maybe. You know, Valentine's Day is about commercialism and sales anyway, right?"
Maya smiled. "Right."
Elliott smiled back, feeling the blood rushing to his head as he found himself taking Maya's hand and depositing a kiss on its palm. He didn't know if it was the wine or the chocolate, but suddenly Maya never looked so beautiful. Old feelings came rushing back through him like a tidal wave and he found it a little hard to breathe. But it felt good. It felt great. And it felt familiar.
Without knowing how or why he suddenly leaned in and tangling his fingers in her hair, he kissed her gently, scared that she might pull away and slap him across the face. But she didn't. He felt her tiny hand on the side of his face, her lips responding to his voraciously and the taste of wine on her tongue. Knowing that they were a little tipsy from the wine, he pulled back for a moment to look her in the eyes.
He saw no objection in them. He pulled her closer again, this time with a little more hunger than before. Flashbacks of all their times together came back in a bolt and all of a sudden he found himself on top of her, her hands removing his shirt, her lips responding to his, and his body unable to stop.