A/N: Ok, so it's been a while since I've watched the finale. Leaves me with too many questions. (Is Dean gonna keep his apple pie life promise? Just what the heck is Sam now?) C'mon, I know you all have the same questions. This is a tag of sorts to 5.22. Sam and Dean's thoughts during the epic struggle. You know me and my crazy love for music too. This is a song fic.

Don't own the boys, Ol' Luci, or the song. Don't claim any rights to Godsmack other than being a fan. Such a great song. Enjoy the story. Thanks Gill for the kick in the butt to post.

Oh, I DID finally switch jobs like I've been threatening to do. Got my foot in the door somewhere that promises if I work my ass off that I have a future that will provide for me and mine. BTW, I might be washing dishes and preparing food for old people, but I like it! There's only two things that there's absolutely no time to do. Look at the clock and look out the windows. I've left(6:30a.m to 2:30p.m is the most kick ass shift!) two days in a row now and had no idea it rained until I was headed for my Jeep.

Greed.

Two faced! I feel you crawling under my skin.
Sickened by your face.

Oh god, What's happening? I cry out as I feel something vile bore it's way into my body and I can't stop the suffocating feeling. I'm crowded out and locked deep inside.

"Well, this just feels right, doesn't it, Sam?"

"Never." I seethe.

"You know, all that anger…"

"I'm gonna tear you apart. Kick you straight out of my head and back to hell."

"I'm not in your head Sammy…well, I guess I am. You can feel it, can't you? We're one. Two halves of the same thing. This is right, what's about to happen. You know it is. Fate.

"No! I won't let you do this. I won't let you end the world. You won't use me!"

"Oh, Sam. You know I won't hurt you. Your brother either. I made a promise. He won't suffer. You have my word."

"You wanna bring on the apocalypse, burn the world to ash and you say you're not gonna hurt Dean? Right. Like I believe that." I face him in the mirror, watching his face…my face, looking peaceful when I'm burning on the inside. Boiling and fighting to get out.

By the way, to think that you're so fucking kind?

"Fine. He'll go quick. Right after I pull the skin from his bones."

You ain't!

"I'm gonna find a way to kick you straight back to hell! I will!"

"Oh Sammy, who are you tryin' to convince? I'm the one in control, I'm the one gonna feel your brother's blood slipping through my fingers. Along with my brother's, and the rest of the flawed creations that caused me to become what I am. You see, it's your fault this is happening. Humanity. It's because of you…insects…that Father punishes me by making me kill my brother. Making me stand against Michael."

Hard to find how I feel, especially when you're smothering me.

Hard to find how I feel, please someone help me!

Oh god, I see his eyes…my eyes… he's pulling the strings… completely crazy…

I feel my body moving, walking and suddenly I'm facing Adam… "Brother." He says, my voice… He's talking to Michael though. I feel his resignation to his fate. Michael calls him monster and my blood boils…His anger… I hear music, thumping beats that make my heart, my spirit fight against the corner I'm pinned in.

"DEAN! HELP ME! OH GOD PLEASE HELP MEEEEEE!"

I knew when an angel whispered into my ear,
You gotta get him away.

Cas said that If he fails…No! I'm not gonna let him jump into that pit. Sammy, I'm gonna save you if it kills me. I'll die for you… any second of any day. No hesitation.

"You know, I should have just killed you. All the anger inside Sam, raging and burning… it just makes me want so…much….more. He's gonna feel the snap of your bones. Every last one.

"I'm here…Not goin' anywhere. I'm not gonna…leave you. I'm right here."

I watch as his fist pulls back one last time…I know it's the last one for me. I see the sun reflect on his face and I see his eyes, through my bloody, swollen ones. I watch them change, I watch his fist relax, shake. And I fall, unable to stand. He looks down at me. Sammy, my Sammy looks down at me.

"Dean…It's okay. I've got him now."

Hey little bitch! Be glad you finally walked away or
you may have not lived another day.

Hard to find how I feel, especially when you're smothering me.
Hard to find how I feel, please someone help me.

I see him turn away. I hear the words that make my heart sink with the ground near me.

Hard to find how I feel, controlling me every step of the way.
Hard to find how I feel, you greedy little baby!

"Sam! You have to step back. I have to fight Lucifer. It's my destiny."

Hard to find, to find the time, find the time, find the time.
Hard to find the time, to find the time, to find the time.

I watch my brother as peace crosses his face and his arms spread wide. My heart stops and I wanna scream, but I'm too broken. Adam/Michael rushes Sam and the ground swallows them both and I'm beggin' it to take me too.

Yeah
Yeah
Yeah

Aaaah, yeah.

Haaaa,
Hard to find how I feel, especially when you're smothering me.
Hard to find how I feel, please someone help me.

I crawl forward and reach shaking hands for the singed grass and the chunk of steaming, deformed metal that is the lock to Lucifer's cell… Sammy… Adam…they're in there with him and I can't…I can't be. I lost him. My head bows and a wanna cry. Fuck, I wanna curl up and die! SAMMY! I look up and an angel is standing over my shoulder. God?

Hard to find how I feel, controlling me every step of the way.
Hard to find how I feel, you greedy little baby!

No. If he was God, I'd have my Sammy.