Title: Narrow Stairs, Chapter Fourteen – Our Song.
Word Count: 1,394
Rating: PG-13 for sexual situations.
Disclaimer: Glee does not belong to me, these characters aren't mine, they would never do these things, I mean no disrespect, blah blah blah…Death Cab For Cutie owns the phrase Narrow Stairs and Our Song belongs to Taylor Swift.
Author's Note: This is it folks! The end! It's been a wonderful, crazy ride and I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did. Not to worry, this won't be the last you see of me. I already have an idea for my next story.
Special thanks to particularly good finder for being an amazing reviewer and to Harry Fado for inspiring me and opening my eyes up to new pairings. You guys are the best.
Finn woke up slowly, enjoyably. Kurt was kissing him, and he responded without thinking about it, wrapping his arms around him, sliding his tongue into his mouth. Kurt sighed happily, moved closer against him. Finn couldn't get over how soft his lips were. For someone who hadn't done a lot of kissing, he was awfully good at it.
"Morning," Finn said sleepily, pulling away.
"Morning. Sleep well?" Kurt moved lower, kissing his neck, gently sucking.
"Mhm," Finn replied, eyes closing. "You seem better."
Kurt smiled. "Vicodin is an amazing thing." He licked an earlobe, biting it gently, causing Finn to gasp. "And being awake at ten is definitely better than three."
"Yeah." He was about to say something else, maybe about breakfast, when Kurt captured his lips again, kissing him thoroughly. Finn kissed him back, enjoying himself, not minding until he felt Kurt's hands at his waistband. "Hey, wait," he said, breaking the kiss, working to catch his breath. "What about those things you said last night?"
"I was tired, and in pain," he said, sliding his hands under his shirt. "I'm feeling better now."
Finn gently grabbed his wrists, stilling his hands. "What you said was true, though."
Kurt gave him a look he didn't understand at all. "Who cares?" he replied. "Nobody's going to judge us."
"Yeah, they will." Finn kissed him, once. "I don't care about that though. I care about us, about making sure we don't rush each other."
"Is that how you feel? Like I'm rushing you?"
Finn sighed. "No. I mean, I know you're not trying to. But taking it slow can be a good thing."
Kurt took his hands back. "Fine."
"No, it's fine. Just forget it." He lay on his back, shirt off; he had been in too much pain last night to want to deal with it. "Can you get me some breakfast?"
Finn sighed again. "Yeah, fine." He trudged upstairs, poking moodily through the cupboards, looking for something Kurt would like. He didn't have the energy to make waffles or pancakes, and a bowl of cereal seemed like a bad idea. Eventually he found a lone bagel, and decided that would have to do. He saw a note lying on the table and picked it up, waiting for the bagel to toast.
I hope you two slept well and didn't stay up too late. I called McKinley High and told them you'd be out for a couple days, and they said they'd send someone over with your homework.
Just a warning—last time Kurt had to be on painkillers, they made him moody. Hopefully you'll get this note before he can see it, but I figured I should warn you. I'll be home in time for dinner, so don't worry about that.
Finn sighed. Great. Extra homework, and the expectation that Kurt's irritability would only get worse. The toaster dinged, and he spread cream cheese on the bagel before taking it downstairs.
"Your dad said he'd be home in time to make dinner," Finn said, handing Kurt the plate.
"Great. Mac and cheese it is." Kurt tentatively took a bite of the bagel before deciding it passed whatever test he had in mind. "Thanks."
"No problem." Finn sat on the edge of his bed, wondering what to do. It seemed like there was more to say on the subject of their relationship, but he didn't want to start another fight. And even if they did have that talk, what would he say? It wasn't that he didn't want Kurt, because he definitely did, but he didn't want to rush things. He'd never been in a sexual relationship before, and he knew Kurt hadn't, either. Besides, Finn kept waiting for that nagging little voice to start back up, the one that wanted to know what the hell he was doing with a boy and how he intended to explain it to his mother and was he really actually going to go through with this, and he had an idea that pushing sex would only hasten its arrival.
Of course, now that he thought of it, he felt his stomach tightening and knew it was too late. It was weird, sitting there, watching a topless Kurt eat a bagel, knowing that he loved him but still having those crushing feelings of doubt. It felt like being torn apart, and suddenly he thought he knew how Kurt had felt last night.
"What's wrong?" Kurt asked through a mouthful of bagel.
"What do you mean?" Finn asked uncomfortably.
"I can see it on your face. Something's wrong." Kurt set his plate down on the bed. "If you really don't want to mess around, we don't have to."
"It's not that."
"So it is something." Kurt moved over so he was sitting next to Finn. "I promise I won't get mad."
Finn took one of Kurt's hands in his, studying it, wondering at the stupidity of it all. Why did it matter that Kurt was a boy? So what? If he was a girl none of this would be a problem, and Finn wouldn't feel like he was trying to turn himself inside out so they could be happy. He knew that leaving wasn't an option anymore, and that was fine because he was pretty sure he couldn't even if he had wanted to, but he had managed to convince himself that it would be easy, and it wasn't. He was pretty sure Glee wouldn't care, that they'd probably even congratulate them, but the football team? His teachers? His mom?
"What are we doing?" Finn asked.
"Having breakfast?" Kurt suggested.
Finn tried to push the thoughts away, tried to let it go. "Yeah, sure." He kissed Kurt, hoping his lips would help.
Kurt laid a hand on his chest, gently pushing him away. "Not until you talk to me."
"How do you do it?" Finn asked. "You're always so confident. You never care what anyone says about you, good or bad, and you're still so happy."
Kurt laughed. "Finn, it's sweet that you think that highly of me, but you're wrong. I'm just as insecure as you, as everybody our age. I need to act tough to be gay in a town like this, but that doesn't mean anything. If you haven't noticed, I eat, live and breathe fashion—if I really didn't care what people thought of me, I'd roll out of bed, throw on a dirty tee-shirt and a pair of sweats and call it a day. I do it for myself, of course, but if you think I don't care that people notice, that they think of me as a fashionista, you're wrong." Kurt reached out, stroked Finn's cheek gently. "I've known who I am my whole life. You're just starting to figure it out."
Finn shook his head. "I'm straight. I've known that my whole life. You're just…" He trailed off, looking at Kurt, trying to decide what exactly he was. "Different."
Kurt smiled. "It's the best thing about me."
"You're not mad at me?"
"For not being gay? Don't be stupid." Kurt looked into his eyes. "What we have is real, and you know that. That's all I care about."
Finn managed a small smile. "Okay."
Kurt smiled back. "See how much better it is when you tell me what's wrong? No shouting matches, no storming off, no tears. Just you and me, being reasonable human beings, talking about our feelings."
Finn supposed that was true. There was still a part of him that insisted he wouldn't feel better unless he did start yelling, and storming off, and crying, but he continued to ignore it. "Yeah."
Kurt squeezed his hand. "This is good," he said. "This is progress." He leaned up, brushed his lips against Finn's. "We'll be okay, I promise."
Finn kissed him back, letting his body talk to Kurt instead of his stupid mouth, which didn't seem to get anything right. He put a hand on Kurt's back, supporting him as he pushed him back, not stopping until they were lying on the bed. He made sure to keep his weight off Kurt, not wanting to accidentally hurt him. Kurt kissed him back, no reservations this time, running his hands along Finn's back and chest.
"I love you," Kurt said.
"I love you, too."