It is here, in a renowned pawn shop Blair Waldorf would still never set foot in (Serena dragged her here with promises of croissants and shopping after. The blonde is entertaining a fleeting obsession with people's old things), where the walls were crammed with junk and the small display case is grimy.

It is here, while Serena breathlessly looks at the row of scarves in front of her, gasping in delight at finding a perfect sea blue scarf and Blair turns her nose up slightly.

It is here as she turns her back on the blonde and walks over to the display case with a meagre selection of rings and bracelets, many of them stolen, she thinks, wrinkling her nose.

It is here that Blair Waldorf's eyes find a glittering three carat engagement ring, brilliant cut, with a stunning white gold band.

It is here that she plunks down an inordinate amount of cash and buys the ring, Serena frowning and mentioning, "B, that's an engagement ring. B, what are you doing?" (She doesn't understand).

Blair ignores the blonde, walks out into the street and cracks open the box. She has seen this box, seen this ring before. On a night she wishes to forget with raspberry bellinis, nights spent dancing with boys and joining her best friend on a table top.

She holds her breath as her fingers trace over the inscription.

I still have the butterflies.

Later that night, the two best friends will sit in a room, the ring between them, Serena's perfect blue eyes filling up with tears as Blair's doe eyes grow wide.

"Serena! Thank goodness you called. We have been trying to get in touch with you."

"Mom? What's wrong?"

"It's Charles. He's been shot. Oh Serena, you're in Europe with Blair. Please, I know he would want to see you"

Blair will sit on their balcony overlooking the city for two hours. There will be a bottle of scotch in her hand and her eyes stare out at this city bustling with life, blankly wondering what could have been.

Oh star fall down on me

Let me make a wish upon you

On the first plane to Prague, Blair will hold Serena as she cries, her blonde hair messy and unkempt but still perfect.

Hold on, let me think

Think of what I'm wishing for

Blair will collect their luggage and look for the car Lily promised to send. Her hair will be in a perfect bun, her face will betray no emotion.

If he dies, she will die too.

It is when she spots him lying on a bed in a white room, machines beeping, and his chest moving up and down, his face unshaven. There is a bandage around his chest and the doctors inform them of the coma they had accidentally induced. Stupid foreign doctors, Blair will think.

It is when he doesn't open his eyes, even when she whispers in his here "I'm here Chuck", or when she holds his hand in hers.

It is then she sheds a tear, only to start sobbing into his chest, but he remains as unresponsive as ever.

Lily will hold Serena in the background, and Blair wishes she had someone to hold her too.

Wait, don't go away, just not yet

Cause I thought, I had it

But I forget

Blair does not move from his side for a two sleepless days, before Nate practically drags her screaming out the door. Blair's arms are tiny and frail as she beats his chest incessantly, and he holds her close.

"I'm so sorry Blair"

She crumples into a ball in the hallway, and she is met with looks of pity. She wants to slap them all.

And I won't let you fall away, from me

You will never fade

"He was going to propose" she whispers, and repeats it over and over, fingering the ring in her purse. She has not worn it yet.

And I won't let you fall away, from me

You will never fade away from me

Nate sighs at this broken girl in front of him, gathering her in his arms as he coerces her to eat something.

And now I let my dreams consume me

And tell me what to think

Life goes on, and Blair will attend Columbia with Nate.

She will become the most popular girl in school, but her smiles reek of false hopes and broken dreams.

The box still sits in her nightstand, the ring cold and unforgiving as she stares at it each night.

But hold on, hold on

What am I dreaming?

Blair hides the pain before layers of chiffon and tulle, diamond earrings and red lips with pretty shoes and society smiles.

Serena watches silently as her best friend self destructs with a flurry of alcohol and painkillers. She wrings her hands and helplessly tries to help Blair, only to be met with a cold glare.

Nate screams her name when he finds her on the floor of her apartment, her curls framing her pale face, her hand still clutching a bottle.

(No one knows it but Blair, but she has continuous dreams of meeting him in Heaven. Or Hell. It didn't matter really)

Wait, don't go away, just not yet

Cause I thought, that I had it

But I forget

Serena cries at her bedside, and Blair turns her back to her, not wanting to explain any of this to the blonde. She may be her best friend, but underneath that Serena will never understand because Serena is bright smiles & sunshine and there will always be someone to catch her when she falls.

Nate holds her hand tightly, as if letting go would mean losing her. She only stares blankly ahead, wondering how far away she is from Chuck.

And I won't let you fall away, from me

You will never fade away

"Serena" Nate's voice is slightly pleading, his blue eyes begging her.

"Nate" Serena ducks her blonde head and frowns slightly. She is civil with him, but only for Blair's sake. He did, after all, call the police on her father. Her own father. And thanks to Gossip Girl she knows all about Nate's forays into Chuck's little black book.

She inwardly curses the boy lying still in the bed, but she can't find it in her heart to be mad at him.

"I'm sorry-"

Serena cuts him off with a crushing kiss. She hasn't forgiven him (not even close) but Chuck is in a coma, and Blair can't-won't-stop hurting herself and she has no other choice but to take the escape Nate offers her. She can't help but feel like an alcoholic who hasn't had a drink in months and the taste of it is sweet and pure, lingering in the back of her throat.

In the morning Nate wakes up to an empty bed, the smell of gardenias lingering in the air and the taste of something bittersweet in his mouth. He rolls a blunt and wonders idly when the four of them switched roles (Blair's taken over Serena's self destructive role, Serena's taken to hiding her feelings behind a cold mask, Nate's sleeping with what seems like every girl on the planet, and Chuck, well Chuck is literally sleeping through life. Nate used to sleep through life too, allowing everyone to make decisions for him and never truly living his life.).

When Chuck Bass wakes up he will frown in distaste as he takes in the white walls and smile when he notes the flowers on his bedside table.

When Chuck Bass wakes up there is a joyous celebration throughout his small circle of friends. Even Gossip Girl dedicates an entire to him. And this time there are no mentions of the words whore, scotch, or best friend's girlfriend. Almost.

When Chuck Bass wakes up Nate Archibald sprints off the field and grabs the first cab he can find; Serena van der Woodsen shrieks and drops a martini glass; Dan Humphrey sighs and cleans up the broken glass, a small smile on his face; Jenny Humphrey breathes a small sigh of relief in Hudson, far from the clutches of the Upper East Side.

It is when Chuck Bass wakes up after a three month coma, two floors down from her, Blair Waldorf finally feels alive.

He is met with a barrage of people rushing at him.

Lily fusses over him, and he welcomes the attention from his adoptive mother as Eric smiles at him over Lily's shoulder.

There is Serena, who barges into his room in a flurry of blonde hair, throwing herself at him and nearly suffocating him as he pats her on the back. She reprimands him for not waking up sooner, and he merely smirks at her before she is pulled back by his best friend.

Nate claps him on the back, his blue eyes shining and he hugs his best friend. Chuck very nearly sheds a tear as he hugs his best friend tightly, glimpsing something over Nate's shoulder.

Blair Waldorf is smaller than ever, but still as beautiful as he remembers. Her chocolate brown hair tumbles over shoulders clad in a hospital gown that greatly resembles what he is wearing.

I won't let you fall away

You will never fade away

Nate and Serena smile at their brunette best friends as something intangible passes through the room.

They catch sight of each other, and Nate runs his hands through his hair and she blushes ever so slightly.

Her eyes hold a question and he nods imperceptibly, motioning to take their conversation (and whatever happens next) outside. Serena smiles, ushering everyone out of the room as Blair seats herself in the red chair beside his bed, her ankles crossed primly, her small hands clenched.

His brown eyes meet hers and it seems like an eternity before she pulls opens her clenched fist, setting the ring in his palm.

He gasps when he sees the ring, the ring he very nearly lost his life over. It can't be the same, he thinks, knowing that his ring had been lost in that alley in Prague. He nearly doubles over in shock, his heart rate jumping on the monitor as his fingers meet the inscription.

"I found it" she whispers

"Where?" he asks hoarsely

"In some dirty pawn shop" she says, wrinkling her nose, and Chuck Bass has never wanted her more than in this hospital while her tears pour down her cheeks.

He brushes a thumb over her cheekbone, and she sighs as she leans into his hand.

"You were going to propose"

It is not a request, an accusation, nor is it a question. It is her silently begging him to slide that ring onto her finger.

He smiles slightly, before acquiescing and sliding the band onto her finger.

"It's not an engagement ring," He smiles slightly, noting the surprise in her eyes. "It's a promise"

She nods slightly, and the ring feels at home on her finger as she kisses him fully, sliding next to him. Somehow, everything between them was going to be okay.

And I won't let you fall away

You will never fade away

And I won't let you fall away from me,

You will never fade

They lie on the bed as he whispers "I'm sorry" over and over again, and she nods silently, the hurt and betrayal still fresh in her mind.

She will forgive him tonight because she knows she would eventually and also because she has come to realize that she needs this boy like she needs to breathe.

Blair traces the scarring from the bullet and Chuck places butterfly kisses on the bruises on her arms from when two huge orderlies held her down as they pumped her stomach.

It's not picturesque and it's most definitely not romantic, but Blair has given up on her movie so it's perfect all the same.

It is later that night that we find Blair Waldorf curled next to Chuck Bass in a hospital bed, they are clad in matching hospital gowns, and both are trying to mend their broken hearts.

A small smile plays on her lips as she sleeps soundly.

He will tangle his fingers into her hair and breathe her name on his lips.

It is there, in a white room with white sheets that they find peace.

Oh star, fall down on me


fin

Oh Star-Paramore