Shinra Inc. And Cyber-Stalking
By: Jason Tandro
Rufus sat in his office. The clock on his computer read 12:30PM. However, his eyes were focused somewhere else. Reeve entered behind his secretary who was carrying a tray laden with a full lunch of tuna sandwiches, tomato soup, and martini mixers.
"It's lunch time and you're still working?" Reeve asked, impressed. "Ordinarily by now you've been asleep for three hours."
Rufus waved at Reeve in a distracted manner. "Hey, since my addiction to energy drinks, coffee just doesn't keep me up anymore. But I found something that does."
[Author's Note: See Shinra Inc. And Energy Drinks]
Reeve walked around the desk as the secretary began to place Rufus's lunch on the desk in front of him. As he rounded the computer screen, Reeve saw something that he was quite familiar with.
"MyFace? I thought we blocked that website on company computers," Reeve asked.
"You did. I found a proxy server," Rufus admitted blatantly.
"Have you just been surfing all morning?" Reeve asked.
"More or less. Palmer sent me a video called 'Dramatic Look Chocobo' that sucked up 20 minutes of my day," Rufus explained.
"That video is like seven seconds long. How many times did you watch it?" Reeve asked.
Rufus shook his head. "Look can you leave me be. There's this really hot girl who I've been IM-ing with in the meantime."
"IM-ing?" Reeve asked. "Wait then how do you know she's hot?"
"Duh. Her name is hotgirl69. Why would somebody lie about that?" Rufus asked.
"Please tell me you haven't told her anything personal about yourself," Reeve groaned.
"Well she did ask for my credit card number," Rufus said in a mock voice. "Please, I'm not as naïve as you think, Reeve."
Reeve looked at the messenger and saw as hotgirl69 posted her next line.
hotgirl69: Do you have a MyFace account? (12:36:23 PM)
Rufus giggled. "Haha! This is perfect. We can swap MyFace info and you can see how hot she is!"
theprezsays: Yeah. The name is Shinra, Rufus (12:36:59 PM)
Reeve groaned again. "You really shouldn't have done that."
"Why? Look I had Scarlet track her IP for me. She lives in Corel. What possible damage could she cause?" Rufus asked.
Friday couldn't have come soon enough for Reeve. There was a massive plumbing disaster in Sector 4, which for some reason required him to be on-site. Then there was a wildfire in the Sector 8 slums that he had to deal with the mounds of insurance claims for (although he wondered while people bothered to get insurance on "shambled shack" and "makeshift table").
Reeve walked in to the president's office at 4:30 and Rufus was dutifully working. He could tell that Rufus was actually working because he had a look of misery etched across his face.
"Hey Rufus," Reeve called. "Wanna call it quits early today?"
"You're encouraging me to shirk my responsibility? I must look like hell," Rufus groaned. "Yeah, let me get my coat."
Reeve walked over to the coat rack for Rufus and handed it too him. "You've had a bad week too eh?"
"Unbelievable," Rufus sighed.
"Yeah. That wildfire was something else wasn't it?" Reeve asked as he buttoned his jacket and dropped off a small stack of forms in Rufus's In-Box.
"Wildfire?" Rufus asked. "What are you talking about?"
Reeve stopped and turned to face the rising Rufus.
"What have you been doing?"
"That girl… she won't leave me alone!" Rufus cursed.
"hotgirl69?" Reeve asked, amazed.
"Or as she is known on MyFace, Teresa McBrand. She has no pictures, no personal information and only 2 MyFace friends. Me and some guy named Rubin McCock," Rufus moaned. "And she keeps sending me messages."
Rufus waved his hands in the air, mocking typing on a keyboard.
"'Oh you like Gold Saucer, I like Gold Saucer', 'Oh you like Loveless? I like Loveless', 'Oh you like live action roleplay, I like live action roleplay'."
"Wait, what was that last one?" Reeve asked.
"Loveless. Of course I like Loveless, who the heck hasn't seen it. It's like the only freakin' play in the world right now!" Rufus shouted.
Reeve moved closer to Rufus and patted his back. "Well, Rufus, its times like this, when things are really shitty for you, that I like to say: I told you so."
"Yeah," Rufus snaped. "And if that isn't bad enough she found out my email account, so she's emailing me every day too. And then she found my DeviousArt account and has been spamming that and then she found my-"
"I get it, I get it. Wait, you have a DeviousArt account? What do you draw?" Reeve asked.
Rufus clenched his teeth and groaned again. "You see, this is why I don't let my employees have access to my MyFace account. There are some aspects of my life I'd like to keep private."
"But you'll share them with a random girl you met online," Reeve noted.
"Do I have to spell it out for you? I thought I was going to have sex," Rufus explained, as though he were explaining math to a child.
"The girl, assuming she even is a-"
"Don't say it! That hope is the one thing I have left!" Rufus whined.
"Fine. This person is stalking you. You need to block… them and just move on with your life," Reeve said.
Rufus shook his head. "It's not right. Why can't true love happen on the internet?"
"Maybe because people stop using their brain when they think there is easy sex to be had," Reeve suggested.
"When will people learn?" Rufus sighed.
Reeve just shook his head and walked down the stairs.
"Where are you going?" Rufus asked.
"I'm going back to work."
Reeve was thoroughly enjoying his Saturday. The park in Sector 3 was as vibrant as ever. Over near some imitation trees, he saw a group of young adults wearing black robes moving about carrying sticks.
"Hahah!" Reeve smiled. "Kids playing adventure games. I remember when I used to do that!"
Suddenly a larger person in a white robe carrying a massive staff walked among the kids. He spoke with a familiar voice.
"Today, young wizards of the high court, we're going to teach you a lesson about not trusting women!"
"Rufus?" Reeve called.
The white-robed man turned, and sure enough Rufus hissed back. "Tell nobody what you have seen!"