Quest in Passive Measure

A HariPo drabble

by mew-tsubaki

Note: The Harry Potter characters belong to J.K. Rowling, not me. Another fic done for a prompt, inspired by the song "Spinning the World" by Clazziquai. Read, review, and enjoy!

- ^-^3

"Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defense." —Mark Overby

I hate you, Draco Malfoy, and not for the reasons most obvious.

I don't care that you're a pureblood. I don't care that you think horribly of Muggle-borns. I don't care that your family has a long history with Dark Wizards.

But I can't forgive you for lying to yourself and hurting me in the process.

What did all those come-hither looks mean? At the beginning, yes, we despised each other. But things changed, Draco. You got curious.

Sure, it was probably just an experiment for you. Just how good is a Mudblood girl? Is she better than a half-blood, a pureblood? You found that out, didn't you? But you fell hard. You fell deeplyutterlycompletely for me. And you're fine with admitting it—in private.

Sorry. Did I beat down your pride a wee bit? Then good.

Oh, good god, Draco… Must I spell it out for you? If you love someone, you don't tell yourself you don't. You don't deny your feelings after you've already made out with me and comforted me and loved me. You can't say you hate me once I've given you my heart and I've received yours.

But…whatever, I suppose. I mean, you're just like every other wizard, every other man on the planet. Once you've used a woman, you toss her. Once you've opened up, you close right on her hand and heart.

You are such a coward, Draco. I should've known that you would return to Pansy because of her surname and her bloodline. Stop playing games. I'm not your toy or broom. I'm a girl made of flesh and blood.

Maybe I was the idiot for once. I should've listened to Ron's griping about you. I should've heeded Harry's warning that you are incapable of loving. Ooh, look! Something else a Malfoy has in common with Voldemort!

I really loved you, you know. I don't fully understand it, but I know I really loved you. I thought you were different from other boys, but you turned out just the same. I hate how one cold brush from you left me feeling as if the stone floor had been yanked out from under my feet, as if the castle was falling in on me.

But life moves on. People move on. I will finally take a cue from an old book and pick up the pieces of my being and my ruddy intelligence and weld them back together, being careful to coat it in idiot-repellant.

Okay, so it will be hard, but who gives a damn? There's a reason why I'm in Gryffindor. I don't go running with my tail between my legs. I face the situation and fix it, no matter how much it hurts. I know I'll heal, eventually.

No, I won't do anything directly to you. I can't. You pull the strings almost everywhere. You love sort of ruling the school, don't you? Guess what? This puppet managed to snip her strings and now she's sharpening the bolts and nails that used to hold her together. The puppeteer better be careful that she doesn't use them indirectly on him. Because this is one bloody smart marionette.

To think—all of this could've been avoided if you had just stood up for us and actually loved me as I loved you. But that won't happen. I'm just a filthy Mudblood in the Pureblood Puppeteer's world, aren't I? And you make the world go 'round.

- ^-^3

I loved this! This is my first Dramione fic, partially inspired by my buddy BlinkYourEyes' fic, "Fear and Love." Read her little ficlet, too, everyone!

Thanks for reading, and please review!

-mew-tsubaki :D

Thank you, as always, Morghen, for beta'ing!

2016 note: Hmm. I wonder what inspiration really struck me when I wrote this back in 2010 (aside from it originally being a songfic, ugh…)… Ah, well. Dramione does nothing for me, I confess… ;w;