A/n: Just a random one-shot that popped into my head today. Meant purely for a few laughs.
Disclaimer: If I owned Glee, there'd be a LOT more Neil Patrick Harris
How Do You Get the Bugs to Sing?
It was fourth period. For Miss Rachel Berry, that meant free period. Technically she had a study hall, but because of her reputation as a good girl, lead of the Glee club, straight-A student, Mrs. Buckner let her run off to finish whatever she needed to do. Usually this meant taking over the auditorium and belting out her latest Glee assignment, poking and prodding at it until it was absolutely perfect (she would never, EVER relive the horror and humiliation of The Climb ever again!). Sometimes she used fourth period to get a jump on her homework or a project that had been assigned.
But today, fourth period was used to finalize her Spring Concert poster. Rachel adjusted it until it was formatted to perfection. She spell-checked it, and then spell-checked it again. After getting a pass from Mrs. Buckner, she printed out a master copy in the library, then snuck into Coach Sylvester's office to run off fifty more copies. She knew she shouldn't be in there, but it was the only copier in the building that did color copies, and she'd worked too hard on the colors and pictures on the poster to not have them shown in their full glory.
After plastering them throughout the halls and putting copies in the teachers' mailboxes (in hopes that they'd hang them up in their classrooms), Rachel made her final stop: the choir room. It wasn't as if any of them needed the reminder of the concert (well…not most of them anyway), but she figured this way everyone would get to admire her handiwork.
She stepped inside the (what she expected to be) empty choir room to find Brittany sitting in her usual chair, staring at the wall. "Hi Brittany," she said, while tacking the final poster to the wall, "What are you doing here?"
"I'm always here during fourth period," the blonde replied.
"Why don't you have a class?"
"Why don't you go to it?"
"I don't know which one it is."
"Why don't you check your schedule?"
"I lost it."
"Why don't you get a new one from Miss Pillsbury?"
"Miss Pillsbury…in the guidance office?"
Rachel stared at her for a moment before starting to walk out of the room. "Never mind. See you later." As Rachel turned to leave, Brittany said,
"How do you get the bugs to sing?"
Rachel turned. Brittany had her head tilted to the side, which, in Rachel's opinion, made her look like a puppy. "What?"
"The bugs. How do you get them to sing?"
"What bugs Brittany?"
"They're gonna be at the concert right? And they'll be singing? How do you get them to do it?"
The bell rang. "I don't know what you're talking about. And I have to get to LA. I'll see you at Glee rehearsal." Rachel left the room without a second thought to Brittany's nonsensical rambling.
As she walked down the hall towards the LA room, she saw students passing one of her posters and laughing. Figuring some incredible witty individual had written "Gaylord Weiner" or something else on the same level, she approached the poster, ready to tear it down. And then she saw what was so funny.
McKinley High's New Directions presents their
BUG SPRING CONCERT
Friday, May 21 at 7PM
$3 for students, $5 for adults, $4 for seniors
Horrified, Rachel ripped the poster down from the wall, before realizing that it was no use. There were forty-nine others around the school and in the mailboxes of the teachers. And everyone was going to see what a stupid mistake she'd made. All that formatting. All that spell-checking. And she'd forgotten to proofread. After all, spell check doesn't catch when you use the wrong word.
Sometimes, it was worth it to pay a little extra attention to what Brittany was saying.
A/n: Many thanks to a friend for posting a status that read "Getting ready for the bug spring concert!" (to which I replied exactly as Brittany did). Without him this story wouldn't have been possible.
Also, Mrs. Buckner's name is based on the study hall teacher at my old school, who I've never met but I hear has an irrational fear of pirates.