Message Of Regret

Ryuhou…

I think about you from morning till night, it's mysterious isn't it. Even though you would always give me the cold shoulder I found that very attractive about you. At first wasn't this just an infatuation? I only liked you because I thought you were cool and very good looking…but being by your side day by day I realize that there was more to you. I only joined HOLY because of you, I was eternally in debt to you, you were my hero but I don't know...when did this feeling of admiration turn into love.

Even though it was just wishful thinking on my part, I really did wanted to be with you forever. As my consciousness is slowly fading away I think about all the things you have given me, there is so much that I can't even count them; my life and freedom, that secret kindness, our disputes, those lies, our partings, that solitude and loneliness, even that pain inside my heart, that voice, the warmth of those hands, even those eyes….everything I will hold dear to me. You have given me everything but even if you had given me nothing, I could not give you anything in return…so that is why, I wanted to do at least one thing for you.

I hope that until the very end, you'll be able to hear my voice resounding in your ears; my one wish is that you'll accomplish what you wanted and never forget me. You've never even replied to my feelings but you'll always know that I'll always love you. I have always thought of you, I have always wanted to be with you but I realize now that I can't. It was just enough for me to be able to stand next to you. Even if my feelings were never able to get through I realize that….being next to you is enough but...now I can't do that anymore.

You know that I'm dead right? We can't have lunch together anymore, we can't talk to each other anymore, you'll never be able to see my face again, we can't even argue anymore. I don't need anything else in this world other than you, so that is why I would give up everything I have for you. It's just too bad that you were unconscious to be able to hear my very last words to you.

Ryuhou...why are you always doing that? Always disappearing at very important times? Just who do you think I am? You were always doing things while leaving me behind, you never ceased to amaze me. Sometimes I thought I would've detested it because you never showed that you cared for me but….I realize that it isn't your fault; for the sake of your dreams and your tragic past. When you went against HOLY I was torn between my loyalty and you but….in the end I couldn't turn my back on you. You were pretty much fighting the world on your own right Ryuhou? So that's why I thought of becoming the one thing truthful to you, I alone thought of protecting you. Even if the whole world turned against you, I wanted to be the one who would stand by your side because you were my world...I wanted you to be with me forever. I'm glad that I was with you at the end...

But…Somehow it's like trying to climb glass; until the very end, you only ended up slipping through my hands.

Even though you never opened your heart out to me, I simply couldn't hate you.

Even though being with you might only cause me hurt, I'm still fell in love with you.

Even though you might love someone else more than me, I was still in love with you.

Even though we were separated for so long, I kept falling in love with you all over again.

Even though we are never going to be together, I will keep loving you forever

No matter how many times I'm reborn I'll keep falling in love with you Ryuhou. So is it okay then Ryuhou if I keep falling for you over and over? That's right….no matter how many times I am reborn, I'll definitely fall in you with you again Ryuhou.

Even if this world may rot away...that much will not change.

I love you Ryuhou…for all eternity.