A/N: Well, this is part two, and again, it ran longer than I would have liked but this is a segment from the last chapter that I didn't finish, plus Minako's views. lol. Again, I revert to very angry, and angst ridden Minako. I haven't ticked her off this much since the first arc, but I felt it was needed, since We've seen how Rei feels, now it's time to see how Minako feels.
Please read and review.
I do not own Sailor Moon.
Arc 2, Chapter 12: Reflecting the Refractions, Part 2
Music wafted through the speakers of a pink and white player, the cassette sometimes made static as it played through all of the songs. She used to love this music. She had been a small child though, and life was easier back then. She could be the popular girl, and she was. Skipping from her kindergarten room and into the lunchroom. Gym was a class she loved, and math was the one she fell asleep in the most. Much to her dismay, she wouldn't ever be allowed to do as she wished. Music, back then, was still a form of self expression, as it was today. But her choices didn't exactly garner popularity. She could listen in on anything, and as a child, it didn't really matter.
Appearances back then, well it was just that. An appearance and nothing more. It mattered not who she met. Friends were but a fleeting thing. Her father was rather strict, her mother very unaware. It seemed they lacked the time to care for a girl such as she. One that needed extra moments of attention. Minako would have flourished in beauty contests, adoring the spotlight and the devotion of competition. That didn't happen. Sadly, very little did, and the life for that child moved on as boring and very uneventful as an ant along pavement. It was mundane, but it didn't mean it was safe. It was filled with dangerous holes, and often Minako almost tripped. Appearances were cruel things, used by only the most evil children of her age, trying, striving to make a name for themselves.
As she grew older though, these appearances defined her. Pop music with flashy openings, beats and rhythms that her mother would call racket, and highly inappropriate, this was her world. Her hair gained a style that was hers, and hers alone. Slightly childish, and yet so confidant, nobody saw the difference. Food was different. No longer did a children's meal and a kiddie toy pull her interest. No, now it was dinning out, with a boy, or her friends. Spending money at the arcade, being loud and wild. Living life to the fullest as she no longer wore only the skirts made for school. No, she was not so innocent anymore. She learned how to flaunt her body, how to be sexy without even trying. She was Venus incarnate, the goddess of love. She had to be that way, right?
Minako paced as she listed to that childish music from her past. Back when stuff like that was merely child play. Nothing more. "You can't be gloomy forever." Venus said quite calmly as she watched the blond that now inhabited the living world. Venus was her name in both power and beauty. Wearing only a nightshirt hardly covering her body, Minako wondered why the sin of her past had to annoy her. Flaunting her body in such a way wasn't appealing. Minako liked to look good, even prided herself on looking attractive, pulling the gaze of many if she could, but this was just nuts. She could see shapely thighs and hips, a round firm butt that clearly had nothing covering it, and of course, her cleavage wasn't anything to sneeze at. It wasn't overly large, but in that shirt, Minako wondered if it could be.
"No, but you can continue to act like a slut for forever and a day, can't you." Minako wasn't normally so rude. Today though, her ability to be kind, caring, and compassionate flew out the window. It left her the same time she left Rei's room, and at the suggestion of this dead woman no less. She wished Artemis was here, she really did. He was her guide, he was her protection on an emotional level. She could confide in him, hug him as she buried her face into his fur, she missed that so much. Where was he? Shooed out again by the annoyance sitting provocatively on her desk. "Can you at least cover up?" She groused. She needed her real teacher, the man who was really a cat, the cat who was her father. He had been more of a parent than anyone else.
"I see no point in covering myself." Venus shrugged.
"Then go away, I don't want you around." Minako didn't want games today.
"I did place a shirt on, after all, I didn't think you'd want to see me totally nude." Why did Venus have to stay?
"I don't want to see you." Taking a breath, she tried to keep herself calm. "Especially dressed like a floozy."
"Even if it was Mars who-" That was a land mine.
A very explosive land mine.
"Shut up!" Minako turned quickly, eying the transparent woman in front of her. "Do you have to be such a..." Anger left her then, instead, a different trait filled her. Jealousy. She wanted to slap the woman if front of her, but that wouldn't do any bit of good. She knew that. "You know I love her, you know I need her in my life. So what do you go and do? Crush every damn bit of sanity I have be telling me to leave her. You tell me to trust her human upbringing. I did that. I've done nothing but take hidden chances while you..." She knew that no matter what, the ghost of her former self was only attempting to egg her on. She then closed her eyes as she licked her lips. "Go ahead." She paused, trying to regain her composure, failing miserably. "Fuck her on my bed Venus, it would hurt less."
Fury. That's what Venus held in her stance. She rushed at Minako, scaring the girl as she fell onto the floor, eyes gazing down at the teen below her. Licking her lips, she smirked. Minako wanted to play adult games did she? Who better a teacher than she, herself. Moving into a sitting position, she watched the girl below. Appraising her, then she closed her eyes, placing on hand on Minako's belly a wicked smile upon her lips. Oh it would be so easy to toy with her. Make her yell and cry out for a release. She was herself after all, and what better aphrodisiac for a woman than her own mind? Venus couldn't think of one. "I can show you what it feels like." Venus said sexily.
Minako tensed, she could feel a hand roaming on her body, even if she knew no one actually was. "What are you doing!" Shocked or appalled, she had no idea. She only knew that this line was very fine. What ever Venus was doing, it wasn't going to win her favors.
"She wouldn't be happy unless she could have all of me. Up my legs, down my arms, teasing me with such a soft touch that I knew she was being playful." Minako closed her eyes willing the feeling to go away. She knew what Venus was doing, and she didn't like it. She had to stop it somehow, forcing her own mind away from the image of Mars. Away from Rei. "I would tell her as much, that playtime was over. She would pull me closer as she kissed me, her body on mine, flesh on flesh. That alone made me tingle in delight and anticipation."
"STOP!" Minako shrieked out in near tears as she rolled herself away in panic. She had felt that body on her. She didn't like it. Didn't want to experience things this way. "Just stop." She was shuttering. It felt so real, so life like, and she knew it was dreams surfacing into reality. She didn't want that. Hugged her body close, she realized what that could have been seen as. She also knew, Venus wouldn't normally have done that. "Don't do that again." She breathed. "Don't ever, do that while I'm awake."
She went too far that time. Venus pushed because she had too. She took her role seriously. Guide the girls, Minako was her concern, but there was a bigger role at hand. This was more than an ego trip. "Stand down, little girl." Venus stood from her spot walking right through Minako, standing in the open room. "You don't know what you want." Running fingers through her hair like she owned the place she scoffed. "To love a woman like her. It'll take more than what you have. You, you go to her every time, let her hide every time...she won't ever grow up." Minako, the girl was still only a child herself. Venus understood that now. "You can't handle her."
"Listen, I don't know what-"
"No." Venus spat. "You listen." Her venom, it was intimidation at the core. Minako quieted instantly, she was still rightfully spooked. "I'm not playing games child. You will obey orders. You don't have the luxury of being a spoiled. True love isn't romantic, it isn't all fluffy stars. You've seen true love through my eyes, Minako. You know it isn't pretty." She sighed then, gods, raising children was hard. She wasn't a mother, and yet, she sure felt like one. This teen, she was alright for just being a teen, but... "I know it isn't easy. It's consuming you. I know it is. Passions of youth is hard as it is, never mind the fact you've never had a girl like Rei at your side before. I know that feeling. However, you are in charge of the Senshi as a unity. Rei can not be the Martian she was...just as you can not be the Venusian I was."
Earth may have been filled with so much anger and malice, however, it cultivated life and hope. The colonization of Earth brought forth many good things, and it also put out many bad. While it was true that the Senshi would retain their emotions and feelings, they would be the only ones. The race of humans were now one unity. The problems that history brought forth paled when compared to the old moon. They had a chance, unifying their people as one, it would be so much easier now. But these children, they wouldn't know that, not until it was their time to stand tall. "I'm not the person you were." Minako was still the fighter. Her defenses were still strong.
"You are." It was simple, but it was clear cut fact. "I would stay by her side because of who she was, and what she felt she needed, all until that night. She gave into her weakness, he fears took hold. Minako, Rei now understands what love is. That was something Mars couldn't ever grasp. Not completely, but your Rei, she can. She has the ability to understand it. If you keep letting her hide behind you, she will never comprehend what she fights for. Martians value loyalty and ownership. Mars will project that image of strength into Rei, showing her Martian values. They will wage war with what she understands and how she had been raised." Venus took on an air of a drill instructor when she had to do so. It was part of her job. "Rei must learn to pick and choose her battles. You must let her accomplish that, on her own."
Minako swallowed, she was still shaken up. Gods that had felt so real, and had Rei been the one...she knew she would still be there. She knew she would have waited for Rei to take her, ravish her. She wanted it, she really did. It was just, Rei wasn't here. Rei was at the shrine, Rei wasn't going to come running. She licked her lips, so dry, but still tingly. Her body felt hyper sensitized purely because she knew those dreams well, and in the land of sleep she hadn't much minded. Now though. She hated the feeling. Her mind was now rampant, all thanks to Venus. Minako hadn't considered herself an overly horny teenager, but now she questioned herself. Highly. For some reason, she couldn't catch her breath after being so unglued.
"Calm down." The order was easy to hear, but not easy to follow. "I wasn't going to rape you. I wouldn't have pushed that far." She leaned on the wall, slumping to the floor, she needed a break. Emotionally, she felt drained. Minako was too, she could see the girl in agony, mentally fighting with logic and emotion. "Minako." The voice was soft, but unwavering. "It is alright..if you want to cry." The girl seemed to wish she could, and partly Venus kicked herself. However, the damage had already been done, and, despite feeling sorry for Minako, she didn't actually regret her actions. "Stop trying to be the adult that you aren't." They didn't need to be adults yet. Senshi though they were, queens they were not. That was something everyone could be thankful for.
That was all she said, but Minako knew the weight of the words spoke even deeper than that sentence. There was more, and it was a depth that you couldn't see. Don't act rashly. Don't give in. Don't feel badly. Cry, yell, kick and scream. Laugh, smile, play, live. Stop wishing away the days. Stop faking emotions. There were so many things that had just been said. The context wasn't easy to lose. How many dates had she gone on? She couldn't remember. How many ended with a kiss? She could count that on one hand. How many of those progressed further? Two. Lastly, how many of those had ended without Senshi life getting in the way? None. Minako sighed then. Was she really so doomed? She didn't know that answer. But, even so...
She placed her head on her knees, sitting in a little ball. "I hate you." Her admission was so weak, so frail. "You're the one who screwed up." Her voice was a barely there whisper among the music still playing. "Not me." She really needed Artemis. She needed him now more than ever. He would know what to do, and, he wouldn't have gone to extremes. She could talk to him, and, he would listen. She wanted Rei by her side too. Even if Martians were dangerous, Rei wasn't. She wasn't as long as she knew everyone was safe. "I'm scared, don't get me wrong but..." She refused to look past the floor, dared not allow her eyes venture beyond her glued stare. "I don't want to be alone anymore."
They were alone though. All of the Senshi were. It was a fate to be alone, it was life. Just life. Usagi would have to watch as Mamoru left often for work when he became the king. She would pine for him, beg him to come home, but just like the last life, he had duties. She had hers too, but hers remained in one spot. Not only the figurehead, no only a for show, but instead, her path was to be a true leader for the populace. Rei, she would have her roles, Minako would as well. Every single one of them would click into place, a key into a lock. However, just like a key, just like a lock, not only did they guard the future, they guarded emotions.
"It just so happened that some keys could open more than one door." Setsuna knew that metaphor well as she sighed it out. Her mother used that saying long ago. In the early days of training, she hadn't understood what that meant, now she understood it perfectly. It was an obscure saying, but one that was of high importance. Time, space, fate, all of these things were fragile. So too were emotions, both shallow and deep alike could be broken at a mere whim. Senshi were all protective people by nature, and so for Setsuna it hadn't been a shock when she opened her door, seeing a figure on the other side. "I just never assumed you'd be a key as well."
"I will not pretend I understand what it is you've decided to mutter about, but I think it's time you've left Makoto alone." They sat at the kitchen table. Ami on one end, soft and gentle like a summer breeze. "She isn't from the past, and unless you truly have something of importance she needs to hear, it's time you let it become simply that." Cold and angry, a frost that kills off leaves, makes the grass turn yellow, and flowers wilt. "I'm sure that these few days, and the upcoming months, perhaps years, have very little to do with the future." Calculating like a Kodkod, blending unto her surroundings. Fangs ready, claws sharp, ready for the kill. She was such a timid Senshi, but, lay one paw on her friends and you paid. Dearly.
"Why do you seem so stubborn about protecting her." It was a statement, not a question. Setsuna wasn't easily unnerved by the whims of her friends. She had no reason to be so. Not by this girl, anyway. She studied Ami, the girl was insightful, no doubts there. "This isn't a competition Ami. You can let your guard down, believe it or not." She placed something wrapped in cloth on the table. "Hotaru brought home her wand, and has been guarding it for some time now, however, she has no reason to cope with her powers. Instead, it is Makoto who must." She urged Ami on, pushing the item forth. "Take this, give it to Makoto, if she can handle the heat she will."
"Setsuna, what's in that cloth." She received a smirk, but not a clear and concise answer.
"A test." Setsuna took a sip of her tea. "It is time she faced her own demons."
"So, that's it then?" Ami stood then, her body tense. "You'll just give up on her that easily."
"Stop talking as if you understand me." Setsuna's words were carefully guarded.
"What don't I understand?" The question was laced with poison.
"Everything." The answer, again was blunt. It told all, without saying a thing.
"I don't often brag, but, I'm a wonderful student." Ami spoke while composing herself. Sitting properly, her hands folded on the table she studied Setsuna before speaking. "Try me." It was a challenge. "Show me that what I see is wrong, teach me what it is that has you two so up in arms all of the time." She then sipped from her cup, the tea very hot, almost burning her tongue. She endured the heat without faltering, uncaring of the scorching pain. She was the Senshi before all else, but never once did Ami ever sate just who it was she stayed a Senshi for. Usagi was a given, however, there was more than just mere warning in her eyes. "If you seem so willing to test Makoto's abilities, it is only fair you place the rest of us through some sort of exam as well, correct? Here I am, give me the best shot you have."
"For one so smart, you lack the understanding needed." She thought carefully, this game could turn dangerous. Setsuna had no intention of making enemies, but she knew her actions could make them turn on her quickly. Essentially with Ami sitting at the table Setsuna couldn't play mind games. None of the others took Ami's word lightly, she knew this. Everyone knew this. "Still, I'd rather not have Haruka on my tail. Tell me what it is you want. I'll give you what you seek, as long as you keep quiet. This doesn't really concern you anyway."
"You can't buy me what I want." Ami sighed, she knew this would be difficult. "I wish merely peace of mind. I haven't been able to sleep in the longest time purely because Makoto's under such distress." She placed her hand on the cloth, knowing what Setsuna was trying to do, either way, the offer was going to be refused. "I am going to take this, I will keep it for myself. Makoto isn't going to be given any sort of responsibility until she is ready to handle it." Without even looking at the offered items, she picked it up and placed it into her bag that sat by her feet. "What you can give me, is very simple. I want honest answers, regardless of fate."
"You can't have everything you want." Setsuna should have known.
"It's the price of my silence." She was angry.
"Who would you tell?" Setsuna wondered that. "Makoto?"
"Usagi." The name brought forth made Setsuna pale.
"What?" Now the game was getting interesting.
"I don't know what it is fate tells you, but I do understand the extent of the powers you hold." Ami again, sipped from her tea, and although the gesture was innocent, that's also what gave her the power behind her word. She wasn't trying to play the card of deception. "I'm well aware that fate doesn't tell you everything. If it did, you'd already be informed that I've gone over your head and directly to Minako on this matter. This was done at the shrine mind you, it was long enough ago that if fate wished you to know, you would have been told by now." Her voice was dripping with what almost sounded like pity. "Makoto will be given the same rights Rei has been. She has all the time she needs, no matter if you like it, or not."
"I don't like it, but then again, I've had to sit and wait quietly long enough. I'm tired of waiting, tired of watching her from afar." Setsuna was losing her calm and calculating wall that kept information in, and meddlers out. "If you truly want answers, I'll give you one you can not dispute. Surely you know Makoto and I were lovers. In the past I was young and stupid, I thought I could fight the world, charge at it with an iron fist, taking on fate, and my mother's whims." She stood then, walking around the table. This girl wanted truth? She would give her truth. "I was wrong Ami, I was gravely wrong. I didn't have the powers I thought I had, and although I have a rather long leash, I'm still merely a dog."
Roughly, she grabbed Ami's face, eyes of steel instead of passion or love. She pressed her lips close, forcing herself upon Ami, and forcing the reality of a mage onto her. The rift of time and space opened, the lines of the stream muddled beyond compare. She would see, just as Makoto had done. Setsuna knew the line she crossed was dangerous, but regardless of punishment, she wouldn't care. She pulled away just as roughly, pushing Ami back into her seat as she held the back of the chair in a white knuckled grip. "You wanted truth, well there you have it."
"What is that?" Ami placed her fingers upon her lips in fright. She was unsure why, she she sensed great purpose in what she had just sensed and seen. Setsuna had given her all the information she needed, but, she still hadn't explained herself.
"Ask Makoto." Setsuna sighed exasperated.
"I'm asking you." Ami pushed further.
"She holds more answers than I do about that particular subject." Setsuna wouldn't speak.
She couldn't speak it. Not anymore. She loved Makoto, but her mind wavered on the possibilities. She shook her head. These girls wouldn't get it. Time was a complex system, but so was life, and love. It eluded all of them, but that was also why no answer could truly define anything in spoken words. Only feelings and actions could possibly explain things. Setsuna only hoped that Makoto could find those answers herself. They were lonely creatures in the past, but, thinking on it, life wasn't different even now. History would repeat, that was always logical, but now Setsuna wondered, just how much would stay the same, and how much would change.
Like I said, Minako was quite hot headed, but I just couldn't see her as any other way. I hope you liked it, even if it was a bit harsh.