Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.
All Dean was aware of was the burning cold as it made its way through his body, killing him slowly. He staggered upright, grabbing his machete and managed to kill the one who had killed him. She stared at him in shock as he took her head off, not understanding how he had managed to do so with the change already well advanced. Dean stumbled out of the old farmhouse and over to the Impala, falling into the driver's seat and hitting the road. He drove as long as he could but he could feel his body shutting down slowly and painfully. Not even an hour later he hid the car in an old warehouse and then slumped in his seat, his heart struggling to beat for a few more minutes before with a final thud it fell silent forever, his last though of Sam and how he wished he could have seen him one last time.
Sam stared in shock as the apartment continued to smoulder. He barely acknowledged the paramedics as they checked him over and then tended the few burns he'd collected trying to save Jess. Once they'd cleared him Sam slipped away and dumped the bag of belongings he hadn't even looked through in the back seat of his beat up old car. The bag contained everything the fire fighters had managed to retrieve for him, for all he knew it was all Jess'. He started the engine and tore out of the parking lot, heading for the freeway. He couldn't stay at Stanford, not with the way Jess had died. Whatever had killed his Mom was back; as much as it hurt he had to find his Dad and Dean.
Sam downed another shot of...something, staring morosely around the club. Eight months since his life had crumbled around him, eight months of lonely hunting and trying to find either his Dad or Dean with no result. He'd managed to track a long string of numbers for his Dad but the last one was no longer in service. As for Dean...there was no sign after a solo gig in Missouri nearly two years earlier.
So here he was in the sort of place that would have Dean grinning and watching everyone closely. Scantily clad women danced for the crowd's enjoyment and there were a handful of pool tables were drunken idiots were just looking to get hustled. Of course there were some that would have Dean looking away and those were the ones Sam found himself watching. Because he wasn't watching the female dancers...he was watching the equally scantily clad males and he was enjoying himself as much as he could enjoy anything these days. He smiled slightly as a new dancer emerged, mentally laughing as he realised that from the back he looked a lot like Dean only to freeze in shock as the dancer turned. Dean!
Sam stared at the man dancing in shock, studying him closely to confirm his first thought. It was definitely Dean but...something was different. Sam closed his eyes and focused all his senses on his brothers only to feel a sob try to tear its way free of his throat. He opened his eyes once sure the yellow had faded, staring at Dean sadly. He may have started to develop weird powers and eyes that occasionally flashed yellow but he was still human...Dean wasn't. A vampire, Dean was a vampire and apparently a rather drunk one from the way he was moving. Sam slipped from the club and headed to his car, opening the trunk and digging out a machete and then heading for the back alley. Once there he settled in to wait.
He was still there an hour later when Dean stumbled out of the club, a bottle of something clutched in one hand as he made his way down the alley. Sam was surprised the vampire hadn't sensed him but if it was as drunk as it appeared...it was so hard forcing himself to think of Dean as a vampire, as a monster and not his brother but if he was going to do this then he had to. As the vampire drew even with his hiding spot Sam attacked. The vampire barely even tried to fight back and soon Sam had it pinned to the wall, blade at its throat. It stared at him, still in an alcohol induced haze but that swiftly began to lift as it blinked rapidly. Green eyes went wide with what looked like shock and...hope?
"Sammy?" It whispered and Sam swallowed back a reply, that sounded so much like his brother. A shaking, cold hand came up, ignoring the blade digging in completely as the vampire touched Sam's face. A small smile appeared on its face.
"You're real. Missed you so much Sammy." The bottle dropped from the vampire's hand, shattering on impact as green eyes rolled back.
Sam moved automatically and then frowned as he found himself with an unconscious vampire in his arms. He stared at the familiar form, trying to bring up the necessary hate to kill it but...it still looked like Dean, hell it had even sort of acted like him in the way he'd called Sam by that hated and yet loved nickname. Dean was the only one that could ever get away with calling him Sammy, not even their Dad was allowed to use it. The vampire had seemed so happy to see him, as if it was still his brother...how could he kill hi...it?
Sighing he shifted around until it was over his shoulders and then he headed back to the lot, smiling fondly when he spotted the all too familiar car. He searched through Dean...the vampire's pockets, grinning when he found the keys. He lowered the vampire into the backseat and then opened the trunk, smiling when he found the secret compartment was still there and full. He found the cuffs they'd used for creatures and used them to restrain the vampire. Then he went to his own rust bucket and grabbed his things. He didn't care about leaving the car behind; he'd never been attached to thing like he was to the Impala. The Impala was home.
Sam drove until he found a rundown section of town and then a building that looked like it had seen better days. He got out and managed to open the large roller door, pulling the Impala inside and then closing the door again. He did a quick search of the building, happy it was as empty as it had appeared. He dragged the vampire out of the Impala and the secured him to a support beam strong enough to withstand even a pissed off vampire. Sam then headed out, looking for a morgue and then breaking in, gathering a supply of dead man's blood.
When he got back he found the vampire was just starting to rouse so he gave it a very mild dose of the blood, just to keep it docile. He fought down a wince as the vampire whimpered in pain at the injection; it was hard seeing what looked like Dean in pain. Slowly green eyes fluttered open and struggled to focus on him as he knelt just out of reach.
"Sam...my?" Dean slurred, his head lolling as he struggled to stay conscious. Apparently alcohol and dead man's blood were not a good combination.
"Stop calling me that vampire." Sam demanded and Dean flinched.
"Didn't wan...sorry." The vampire mumbled and Sam frowned.
"Didn't want what?" He asked and the vampire looked up, slowly meeting his eyes.
"You to know. Screwed up. Sorry." It answered and it sounded so much like Dean it broke Sam's heart.
"Don't. Don't you dare sound like him!" Sam yelled and the vampire cowered away from him.
"Sam." The vampire whimpered, straining against the chains.
"Stop it! You're not Dean!" Sam yelled, trying to ignore the wide green eyes.
"Am Dean. Sammy please...hurts." The vampire called and Sam gave it a larger dose, watching it pass out from the poisoning. The he sat down and let the tears fall. It was so hard looking at the vampire, listening to it call his name and say it was still Dean. It still had Dean's memories, was that enough? Could he let it go just so he could have the comfort of knowing something of Dean was still around? Could he live with all the deaths of its victims on his conscious if he did that? Taking a shaky breath Sam moved over to the vampire and ran a trembling hand through the short blond hair, ignoring the chill coming off its body. He nearly jumped when it groaned and moved into his touch.
"Sa..." Came a slurred whimper before it went still again.
Dean groaned as he woke; his body heavy from the alcohol he'd drunk. It was amazing how much alcohol it took to make a vampire drunk but it was possible. He opened his eyes and then jerked against his bonds, struggling to free himself or remember what had happened. He tensed at the sound of footsteps approaching, along with a heartbeat. Then his eyes went wide in shock as he watched the tall man approach. He gasped as Sam came into view, his unbeating heart lurching in his chest.
"Sam." He breathed and his brother looked at him, hazel eyes haunted but determined. His brother remained silent but took out a plastic bag and poured its contents into a mug before approaching. Dean stiffened as the sweet scent of human blood reached him. Sam tilted the mug and Dean drank thirstily. Dean licked his lips clean as he finished and Sam took the mug away.
"Sam?" He called hesitantly and he watched as Sam's grip tightened on the mug.
"Sam please." He begged and Sam shuddered.
"Stop it." Sam whispered but Dean heard him.
"Stop what?" Dean asked softly, not wanting to make Sam angry.
"Stop that!" Sam spun around angrily and for a second Dean would have sworn his eyes flashed yellow.
"Stop acting like Dean." He snarled and Dean shut his eyes in pain.
"Sam...why haven't you killed me? If you don't believe I'm still your brother why keep me alive, why feed me?" Dean asked softly and Sam turned away but not before Dean saw the gathering tears.
"Oh Sammy, its okay. I never wanted you to find out. I won't fight you if you kill me. Always knew someone would find me and end it. Better you than a stranger." Dean told him and Sam stared at him in shock. Dean tried to smile at him and Sam collapsed to his knees, crawling hesitantly closer. Sam reached out a hand and then stopped. Sam closed his eyes in pain and Dean just wanted to reach out to him, offer comfort but he was the reason for Sam's pain.
"Sammy." Dean breathed and Sam blindly reached out for him. Dean sighed as Sam's warm hands gripped him, enjoying the warmth and Sam's familiar scent. He stayed still as Sam opened his eyes and then moved slowly closer, his hands moving up to frame Dean's face. Dean leant into Sam's touch, rubbing his face against the warm skin. Sam choked on a sob and then his hands moved out of sight. Dean tensed, waiting for the killing blow only to stare in shock as he felt his hands come free. He brought them out from behind the pole and rubbed at his wrists. Sam stayed still, watching him closely and Dean smiled at him.
"Thanks." Dean whispered and then slowly reached out towards Sam who tensed and swallowed. Dean could smell fear and acceptance.
Sam froze as the vampire slowly reached out towards him. He stayed still, accepting that he might be about to die and finding he didn't really care if it killed him. He gasped softly as cold hands cradled his face and then he was being pulled into a gentle hug. Dean held him tightly and yet so gently, one hand cradling the back of Sam's head as he held Sam close.
"Missed you so much Sam." The vampire whispered and Sam finally lost the battle against tears, clinging to the vampire as he cried.
"Shh, it's okay. I'm here." It soothed as Sam cried.
Dean held Sam close as his baby brother cried. He couldn't believe Sam was really there, it had been years since he'd seen the kid. This was not the way he had wanted to see Sam though. He had never wanted Sam to learn what he had become. But now that he had Sam in his arms he never wanted to let go. But Sam would never stay with a monster and that was what Dean was now, no matter how he tried to cling to whatever humanity he had left. He buried his face between Sam's head and shoulder, feeling Sam's breathing hitch at his closeness to the vein but he just laid a gentle kiss on it, inhaling Sam's scent as deeply as he could. They stayed like that until Sam's breathing steadied and the tears stopped. Dean pulled back a bit and smiled at Sam, studying him.
"You've grown up kiddo." Dean whispered and Sam managed a shaky smile.
"Twenty-three now, not a kid anymore." Sam answered and Dean nodded. Twenty three, they would soon be the same age physically.
"Guess not. Still need to cut your hair." Dean commented and Sam actually laughed a little before sitting silently and studying Dean intently.
"I don't know if you're still my brother but I missed you so much." Sam admitted and Dean squeezed his shoulder gently.
"I'm still Dean, just with a more...liquid diet. I'd never hurt you Sam." Dean answered softly and Sam stared at him. Now that he was calmer he was more cautious but Dean could see in Sam's eyes that he wanted to believe.
"So what happened to college? You can't have graduated already." Dean asked and then regretted it as Sam flinched and closed his eyes.
"Sam?" He asked, reaching out to hold Sam again. He already had Sam's scent memorised but he couldn't get enough of holding him and breathing it in. Sam's scent was so...Sammy and so soothing and inviting, he just wanted more of it. He knew he'd never been so touchy feely when he'd been alive but he'd been alone his whole time as a vampire and vampire's where group creatures. They lived in nests for a reason and to him Sam was his nest, his family.
"I...it killed her and it's all my fault." Sam finally whispered and Dean frowned.
"I don't understand Sam. Why do you think it's your fault?" He asked gently, pulling back a little so he could look at Sam.
"I should have protected her better, warned her. It killed her, just like Mom." Sam answered and Dean's eyes went wide in horror.
"Sam, who died?" Dean urged. Surely not the pretty girl Sam had seemed so attached to when Dean had checked up on him?
"Jess. I came home and...and she was there, pinned to the ceiling. She looked so scared Dean. I could have, should have done something." Sam mumbled and Dean tightened his grip.
"Sam you couldn't have stopped it, whatever that thing is...it's powerful." Dean tried to tell him but Sam shook his head.
"I knew it was gonna happen. I dreamt about it for weeks and then...Dean I'm changing and I'm scared." Sam breathed and Dean frowned, gently rocking Sam, trying to comfort him.
"What do you mean by changing Sammy? You're not different." Dean told him and Sam laughed.
"Aren't I?" Sam asked and Dean gasped as Sam's eyes definitely flashed yellow and the window frames rattled. Dean stared at Sam in shock and yes, a little fear but it wasn't fear of Sam. No, it was fear for Sam. Unfortunately Sam saw the fear and began to pull away.
"No Sammy. You're still Sam, no matter what's happening to you. We'll figure it out." Dean promised and Sam bit his lip.
"You're afraid of me." Sam stated and Dean shook his head.
"Not of you Sam, never afraid of you. Scared for you, for what this means and what would happen if other hunters found out. You could have killed me, should have killed me when I was out but you didn't. You gave me a chance. I...I want to come with you, wherever you're going, we can figure out what's happening to you, hunt, whatever. Please Sam?" Dean asked and Sam nodded slowly. He wasn't one hundred percent sure he could trust Dean but better he was with him than off alone with people who didn't know the dangers.