Such Sweet Sorrow

A Kingdom Hearts II fan fiction

Twang…twang…

The sounds of a bored water-mage Nobody monkeying around on a Sitar filled the empty halls of the Castle That Never Was.

Demyx had the feeling that there was something more important he actually should have been doing, but he couldn't remember it.

All of a sudden, he remembered it. He hoped it wasn't too late. He glanced at the clock on the wall…only five more minutes!

Demyx leapt off of the chair on which he had been perched. He charged down the hallway, screaming, "I'M COMING, ROXAS!"

Roxas was leaving.

He was sick and tired of following Xemnas' orders blindly. He wanted answers to his questions, and the superior members of the Organization were unwilling to give those to him. Why did he have the Keyblade? He didn't know. He didn't know because Xemnas didn't WANT him to know.

He felt…used.

He was tired of avoiding eye contact with Xaldin every time they passed in the hall. He was tired of Xigbar "accidentally" tripping him and howling with laughter. He was tired of Saïx threatening him every time he made a slight misstep.

So he was leaving.

He had told only one person when he was going to leave, and where he was going. That person was the one he thought he trusted most in the Organization. The two were practically as one; friends to the end.

And that one had invited another, remembering how well the three had gotten along, and knowing that the third wouldn't be able to let Roxas go without a goodbye.

"AAAAH! WATCH—"

BANG!

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I am so sorry…"

Xemnas was strongly put off by having been knocked to the floor and having a very large and unsteady stack of books toppled from his hands by a randomly appearing blur of motion. He glared up at the offender. Of course…Demyx.

"Make sure it does not happen again," Xemnas growled. He stood, then bent over to pick up his books.

Demyx ran around the disgruntled Superior with a slight pale color infusing his face. The last thing he needed that day was to get on Xemnas' bad side.

Xemnas had a history of hating the Melodious Nocturne…as did many others of the Organization. They all loved to tease him…to call him a coward…to joke about replacing him…or were those jokes?

Only two people seemed to tolerate, even appreciate the lonely Nobody. Demyx had put his trust in Axel and Roxas.

And that day, he was losing Roxas. He was losing one of his very best friends.

"Almost…there…" Demyx panted, rounding the corner of the street. Storm clouds brewed overhead…perhaps an omen, foretelling horrible things to come if Roxas left.

He could hear voices from around the corner up ahead…past one more building, and he was there!

Yet he heard what they were saying…and he stopped dead in his tracks.

"You can't turn your back on the Organization!" Axel screamed.

"No one would miss me," Roxas snapped.

"That's not true…" Axel said softly. "I would."

"You and no one else," complained Roxas. "I'm sick of the whole bunch treating me like dirt! You know what? I'm not going to miss any of them! Not a one! Except you, Axel. You were always RELATIVELY nice to me."

"Roxas…this isn't like you…this anger…"

"Yeah? YEAH? Well, try going through what I went through! Try spending the rest of your life with those jerks!"

"Newsflash, Rox. I already do. And now I'm going to do it without you. Satisfied? And you were the only one I ever liked."

Roxas sighed. "Thanks, Axel. Means a lot. But I gotta go…" He glanced down at the Keyblade in his hands. "I gotta know."

"Good luck, then."

"Maybe we'll meet again."

"Heh. Maybe."

Then Roxas was gone.

"I'm not going to miss any of them…not a one…"

"No one would miss me…"

"You were the only one I ever liked…"

"Try spending the rest of your life with those jerks…"

"Except you, Axel."

"But what about me?"

No one answered. Axel had gone home. Roxas had gone away. Neither had noticed Demyx, who was left to ask himself the question…the question of what his friends, those he thought were his friends, really thought of him.

"What about me?"

Thunder rumbled in the clouds above, followed by a shower of rain. Rain usually made Demyx happy, but that evening, the opposite occurred.

Demyx slumped on the ground, pressing his hands to the building wall for support, and cried until his eyes were sore.

"Xemnas?"

Xemnas turned around from his desk. He sighed in frustration. Demyx was back. "What is it?"

"I think…I have something to say. Do you ever wonder if…we really do have hearts after all?"

"Well, that would ruin our whole purpose, wouldn't it?"

"I know, I know. But what if what we're looking for is closer than we think? What if our hearts aren't, you know, working properly or something? Because we have emotions."

"No, we don't."

"Can Nobodies cry?"

It was then that Xemnas noticed his annoyer's face…red, swollen, and tear-streaked around the eyes.

Quick as a lightning flash, Xemnas darted close enough to Demyx that he could hold up the neckline of his robe with one hand and slap his face with the other, which he immediately did.

"There is no room for sadness," Xemnas informed the younger Nobody, "in our progress. There is no place for us to run and hide in our self-pity! And yet you cry as though you have the time to waste crying! Whatever has happened, I beg you to let it feed your anger, or what is left in the shell of your anger, instead…let your anger move you forward. For it is our anger which drives us to act…not our self pity!"

"I understand," Demyx squeaked, almost choking up again.

Satisfied, Xemnas let him go.

Demyx locked himself in his room and picked up his Sitar once more. He put it back almost instantly.

One of his very best friends was gone…and neither of his best friends cared about how he would feel about that. They both seemed to think he was one of the "others", one of the "jerks".

And fuel his anger he did, as he was told…

His eyes narrowed.

"I swear, Roxas," Demyx vowed, "if I ever see you again…and if the circumstances should be unfortunate enough that we have to fight…I will not hold back."