A/N The reason this took so long is that I procrastinate a lot so, yeah. Originally suppose to be 2,200 words but it kinda got out of hand and yes it's kinda cheesy. Mike's POV Please read and review.
I stare out the window as it starts to snow, and can't help but think. God this sucks, I should be with her right now but no I had to screw it up. She hates the cold and I should be with her now keeping her warm. I can't help but think how bad it is, so far her year already sucks everyone still hates her, I should be there to comfort her. Man this hurts, I can't help to remember how this all started. How she was attracted to me, how I was attracted to her, how it was awesome, and how it ended.
It was different then things in the past, it wasn't because I thought she was just hot or because she thought I was a good listener or for a bet. It was because she actually liked being with me, and I genially wanted to be with her. It was weird not seeing her as the crazy glee queen, at first. She's sweet and kind hearted as long as you don't get her talking about the future.
It started small I saw the small smiles she sent my way when I danced during a rehearsal, the small looks during glee. I started noticing other things too, how she stopped looking in Finn's direction, and how she suddenly tried to impress me even though she never had to.
It didn't take a genius to figure it out soon, I didn't know what to think of it or what to do, so I just tried to ignore it. I tried to but it didn't work, I saw every smile and expression she gave me weather it'd be longing, confusion or just wide eyes when she drifted off. It really got hard to ignore it when I found out what Brit and Santana were doing together, and how she was the first person to comfort me.
The day after I found out I wasn't pissed, or confused, or sad, I'm just there. I was just going through the motions, all I was doing the entire day was thinking. Thinking over our entire relationship and every excuse she told me to get away from me, and how probably every time it was probably to be with Santana.
I'd completely shut off all communication until football practice and only because it's required. When it's time for glee I'm tired and really didn't want to sit and listen to more arguing between the divas and do more random songs. I walked in and threw my backpack at the wall next to the door and slumped down in a chair in the back row. I lean my head back and close my eyes trying to put my mind somewhere else.
I tried to hum the opening bars to calm song but I stop when I heard small foot steps near me and someone sit down next to me. Judging by the small sound I guessed it was probably my cousin trying to cheer me up. I lifted up my head and smashed my head into my hands and rubbed my eyes and muttered "What is it Tina?"
I'm surprised when I hear the high pitched voice of Rachel "Um It's not Tina and I think you should look at me."
My eyes slowly opened and I pulled my head up to normal level and looked towards my left. "Ok Fine, now what is it?" I said more coldly then I wanted to.
"Well, um I was just wondering is Something wrong?"
"I'm guessing you haven't heard yet."
"Heard what?" that's when I first realize how innocent and caring she can sound, some times.
"That the whole time I was dating Brit she was screwing someone else."
"Another guy?" she asked
"No. A girl, I didn't even stand a chance from the beginning. I was just the cover." I slouched back in my chair and mutter "Damn it."
"So you're angry because she cheated on you?" she asked
I looked back at her, "Well no duh." I said a bit too mean. She looked away as if she just got hit in the stomach. The look in her eyes immediately made me feel horrible, "Rachel, sorry I didn't mean to say it like you're stupid I'm just pissed."
She looked back at me less sad, "I understand it's just I'm guessing you don't want me here right now."
"Actually the exact opposite, I want someone to talk to."
"Ok, I guess that's me right now," she said awkwardly and I nodded, "So you're mad because she cheated on you and you're hurt?"
"No I'm mad because she cheated on me and that means she picked someone else over me and that happens way too much."
"What do you mean?"
I popped my knuckles and thought for a second, I'm talking to Rachel Berry about something and she's wasn't rambling and it didn't feel awkward, "It's just no matter what I do someone is always better and their always picked over me and it gets old really fast. Puck's a better running back, Finn's better at singing, Matt's better with girls, Santana's a better kisser-"
"Wait, Santana?" she looked at me confused
"Yeah she's who Brit was cheating on me with, and apparently she's a really good kisser."
"Wow." It was all she could think of and I understand, Mr. Schue walked in the door and everyone stopped talking and got to their seats. Rachel stood up to go to her chair in the front but turned back for a second, "If it makes you feel any better, I'd choose you over Santana."
I guess that was the first real conversation I had with her, and it wasn't weird, it wasn't horrible and it wasn't awkward like it always was with Brit. That was also the first real time I noticed Rachel as a person and not just the crazy glee girl.
After that we started talking a lot during glee, and we kinda became friends. When ever we were hanging out I would notice little things, at movies she always made sure she was next to me, how she tried to make me dance, how she made me try out for a solo and other stuff. It was around the end of November that I started noticing other things.
How she fixed her hair constantly, how beautiful her voice is when she sings, her deep brown eyes. Not everything I noticed was good though, she had little friends, how she was scared of a lot of things, how sad she was sometimes, and how sometimes I just wanted to hold her when everything went wrong.
It was a week after sectionals and it started to snow during school, everyone was trying to bundle up to stay warm. We had a late glee rehearsal so we didn't start going home until it was dark and the snow had really picked up.
I was walking home in my big brown overcoat when I saw I small figure sitting on a bench in front of the bus stop. I squinted my eyes to get a better view and saw that they had little protection from the cold and they were shivering.
I walked faster until I was at the bench. "Rachel?"
She looked up with a very light jacket closed tight around her, "Mike,"
"What are you doing here, shouldn't you be at home?" I asked taking a seat on the bench.
"My dad was suppose to come pick me up, but he's stuck at work so I have to wait for the bus, which is always late." She said the last part louder frustrated.
"Can't you just walk home?"
"Too cold and dark." She said simply tightening her jacket around her.
"Well then here," I said slipping off my coat and putting it over her, "I'll walk you home."
She just stared back at me, "I can't take this, it's yours. I'll be fine."
"No you won't, just take it." I said seeing her still shivering body.
"Thanks," she said standing up, I stood up next to her and pointed forward.
"Lead the way." I said.
As we walked we talked about everything, about glee and school, about the past and the future, about our friends and who we liked. By the time we got to her house I didn't want to go I wanted to just stay there with her.
"Well this is it." She said motioning to her house.
"Yeah I guess it is."
"Oh here," she said turning around about to take off the jacket.
"Nah its ok, I'll be fine."
"You sure?" she asked spinning back around fast messing up her hair in the process.
"Yeah." I said smirking laughing a little
"What's so funny?"
"It's just you're hair,"
"What is there something wrong with it?" she started messing around with her hair before I stopped her.
"Wait, let me." I lightly tucked the loose hair behind her ear before letting my hand linger next to her head. "There, now it's perfect."
I move my eyes from my hand down to her eyes. I think for a second about how good this feels, how everything just fits perfectly. She's staring deep into my eyes before she shakes her head and we're both back in reality.
"Thanks again for the coat, I'll give it back to you tomorrow." She said looking towards her house as I move my hand back to my side.
"Ok then," she starts moving towards her door, "Goodbye."
"Yeah, see you later." As I walked home, freezing my ass off, the only thing I thought off is, I think I'm in love with Rachel.
After that night I started doing little things to, lingering glances, staring at her during glee, the urge to impress her. I started trying to sing louder in glee, and working on getting a solo. Even with that she never said anything about being me much. I start thinking that I should just talk about it to her, but Matt convinces me that just talking about it would be lame and that I should do something spectacular.
I guess I got lucky when Mr. Schue gave us an assignment to create unique choreography to a song that will express our feelings. I start thinking of what song I should pick as I leave the music room, when Rachel stopped me.
"Hey Mike," I turned around to see her walking up to me.
"Hey, what's up?" I asked
"Well you know our assignment involves creating choreography?"
"Yeah." I nodded
"I was just wondering if you'd mind coming over to my house and we can work on our songs together and help each other."
"Sure that sounds awesome, we can take my car." I said
"Great." She said walking next to me. I lead her to my used black sedan.
"Nice car." She remarked sarcastically putting her backpack in the trunk.
"Hey it runs good, has good gas mileage, and it doesn't look that bad." I said stepping into the driver's seat and closing the door.
"What ever you say." She said sitting down in shotgun.
The drive to her house was in comfortable silence, my radio blasting some crazy upbeat techno. She sat up and changed it to some Broadway station and began to sing softly to the song. I looked at her as she looked out the window singing; I shake my head and dealt with the music. If I wanted to go out with her I guess I better get used to it.
When we reached her home I slowly brought the car to a stop in front of her door. As we got out I looked at the house, it's like a perfect American dream house. She unlocked the door and we walk in.
"Dad? Pop?" she yelled, she found a note and read it out load, "Went out for dinner, be back around 9."
"So I guess we're all alone." I state already trying to think of a plan.
"Yeah I guess," She said walking up her stairs, "Come on lets find songs."
I nod and followed her to her room, the second I walk into it I'm in a pink girly wonderland. My eyebrows colliding I ask "Uh… Rachel you sure this is you're room?"
"I know it's weird but I like it, and that's what matters." She said going to her sound system.
"Ok," I nodded walking behind her.
"Right so first thing we need to do is pick songs but in order to do that we need to say what we're feeling."
"Ok, so what are you feeling?" I asked
"I don't really know, I guess happy about our win, and excited for regional's."
"Ok that should be easy to find a song for." I stated
"Well what about you, how do you feel?" she asked looking at me with questioning eyes.
"Like I need to get something off my chest," I looked into her eyes and she stares right back, "Like I need to say something."
It's if like she was in a trance right back, "Well um…" she hesitates,"I'm sure there are plenty of songs that will work for that."
"I already got a song I think." I said looking away, breaking the trance.
"Oh, ok then let's try to find a song for me."
After about half an hour we found a song for her and started working on choreography. She was starting to get tired so we took a break, and were sitting on her couch in the living room.
"So what song are you thinking of doing?" she asked.
"You'll see." I said stretching my arms.
"Come on you can tell me," she looked at me with puppy dog eyes, "Please."
I try not to but I give in, "Fine," I looked down, I decided to use this as my chance, "But only if you get me some water." I said buying time.
"Ok sure." She stood up and headed to the kitchen. I quickly dug into my pockets to find my iPod, when I find it I plugged it into the sound system in the room. I scrolled and found the right song, and got ready to completely improvise. I was able to stretch and go over the lyrics before she reentered the room.
"Ok I got you water, now what's the song." She asked putting the water on a small table.
"You're about to see." I said sounding very cheesy.
"Mike what are you-"she started before the trumpets from the opening of the song cut her off. I started singing and get through the first two verses choreography and all, before I screw up.
"Got to get you into my L-"I sing, but as I'm walking back I walk backwards into a table and fall onto it before sliding off and slamming my face into the floor. "Damn it." I mutter.
Rachel quickly ran over and knelt down at my side, "Oh my god, Mike are you ok.
"Been better, but I'll be fine." I said slowly sitting up.
"Well I think you picked a good song but the choreography needs some work." She said
"Yeah well I kinda made up all the moves on the spot." I confessed
"Why did you do that?" she asked
"I was trying to get my point across."
She stares at me confused before she starts to get the idea, "You mean… the song was about…me?" she asked shakily
I smiled, "Yeah,"
She smiled right back at me, "So since the song was about me does that mean you have a crush on me?" she asked awkwardly
I nodded, "Yeah"
"Well good because I think I have a crush on you." She said and that's all I needed to hear, I quickly pulled her into a kiss.
When we started dating there was an unwritten rule that around other's we were just close friends, especially when it came to glee. That's probably why when Finn got sick and I volunteered for a duet with her it was weird. I wasn't nervous but it didn't feel right being the lead not just the background dancer. I was surprised when I finished the song the first time that she had a giant grin and pulled me into a hug.
I guess it became public around the end of March. It wasn't exactly my idea or planned she just decided to grab my hand while we were sitting in glee. It also wasn't my idea when she came in the next day and kissed me right in front of most of my friends.
I was just standing there minding my own business talking to some of the guys on the team when I start to see the small brunette walking towards us with her game face on. I didn't worry about it at first; I thought she's was just going to see Mr. Schue about Something. I started to become confused when she started coming towards us faster and with a big grin on her face.
I remember her saying something about going public when she thought she was ready, and that basically I had no say in it and had to just go along with it. The only other person that knew was Matt and he didn't really care and told me to try not to make out in front of him.
She walks up to us all confident and it would be cute if not for the situation, "Hello fellow students I have something I need to tell you."
"Uh hey Rachel what's going on?" I asked unsure of what was about to happen.
"Well after consulting some members of glee about how to come out about the truth I decided the best way to do it is through shock and awe." She rambled starting to step closer to me.
Most of the guys are confused and trying to think of an insult but Matt tried to keep them controlled as Rachel talks.
"Wait what do you-"She grabbed my collar and pulled me into a harsh kiss before I could finish. I'm not complaining but a little heads up would be nice. After a good half minute she let go of my shirt and stepped back carefully, I was still in a confused daze to really say anything to save my reputation.
"And with that I bid you all good bye." She said walking away giddy.
Once she's out of sight all of them are looking at me for an explanation, Matt steps forwards and said "Dude you said you wouldn't do that in front of me."
Dating Rachel was anything but easy, I had to deal with break downs, her constantly singing with different guys, her strange dads, and listening to way too much Broadway. Even with all of that I think it was still worth it. As we dated one thing was still in the back of my mind, when it will end. My brother said it wouldn't last through April, Matt said June, she said Forever, but I knew it would be over once summer was.
That's probably why I savored every piece of summer, I tried to be with her as much as possible. That's probably why I opened my big fat mouth and screwed up everything.
It was early August and we were in her room, she was trying to find some dress for a banquet with her dads and I was just there to help. I was sitting on her bed tossing the football I brought with me back in forth between my hands.
"How 'bout this one?" she asked stepping out with a nice green dress on.
"Eh too bright." I said simply
"Too bright? You obviously have bad taste." She said sitting down next to me on her bed.
"I don't know? I think I have good taste in women." I turn to look at her, and she's all smiles before she shoved my face away not liking my joke.
"No, not getting anything with that one." She said stepping away to change into a different dress.
I smirked and stood up "Why not? I thought it was funny."
"That proves again that you have bad taste." She said from behind her closet door.
"Can't believe summer's almost over, it sucks" I stated changing the subject.
"Nice save. I know I hate the cold, and schools going to be pretty bad this year."
"Yeah I know, but at least there's glee."
"Yeah. Why don't you want summer to be over?" she asked trying to keep up the conversation.
I looked down, knowing the reason. I stayed quiet thinking about what I should say, after a few moments she started to get impatient for my answer, "Well, why don't you?" she asked
"Well you know, I don't want this time to end," I said trying to hint to it.
"What do you mean?" she asked walking out to be in front of me in a different dress.
I decide to man up "I don't want summer to end because that means we'll be over." I say quietly
She squints her eyes confused before it clicks in her mind. "Do you mean… are you breaking up with me?" She asked looking down sad.
"What? No." I shook my head, "I meant that I know that we won't last that long."
She looks up at me, looking a little angry. "What's that suppose to mean?"
"I meant that I know you won't let me last that long." I immediately regretted it once it comes out of my mouth, "Let me rephrase that, what I meant-"
"No I know what you meant," She said stopping me, her tone screamed pissed at me.
"You think that I'm not good enough to let you last."
"Wait, hold up I meant-"I started before being cut off again.
"No you think I'm just crazy, and that I go through guys like every other girl," just then Rachel went back to who she was before we dated paranoid, ranting, assuming and self conscious.
"Rachel I didn't mean-"
"Yes you did. You meant it and you think I'm just the crazy glee queen."
"Rachel, just let me talk-" I pleaded
"No, I'm telling you I'm not and if you don't know that then you don't deserve me," she just decided to break up with me with information she thinks I think, maybe she was crazy.
"Rachel wait, are you saying what I think you're saying?" I asked.
"Yes I am. We're threw get out."
I was still in shock when she told me this, I wasn't thinking and in 3 minutes I had ruined the best thing in my life. After what she had just said I had the right to be pissed, and I used it.
"Are you completely insane?" I asked coldly, "After everything I've done everything I've said, everything I've done to help and protect you. You think I think you're crazy, and that I think you're not a good person. I thought you were amazing and kind and beautiful, but after that," I pause and consider what I'm about to say. After what she just said I wanted her to hear what I thought then, "after that, maybe I do think you're crazy. Because after what I've done I do deserve you but I guess you don't think that."
I started to walk out of her room before she yelled, "You're the most infuriating person I've ever met. I hope you die."
I opened her door and muttered softly, "Love you too." I said it because even when that happened I still care about her more than anything else.
Even whispering it she heard it and for a second her anger was gone, "What?"
I decided not to say it louder, "Nothing, good bye." I closed the door behind me. I drove home in silence, I felt like utter crap. The most important thing in my life was destroyed, and it was my entire fault. I didn't want it to end, like I said it was over when summer was. But the thing is I didn't want it to be over, and neither did she.
I stop staring at the ceiling and look out the window, and the snow is really starting to pick up and it's probably 8 inches. Today's the first snow and it's always one of the worst to be walking home. I turn and stare at my Brown coat, and can't help to let memories flood in. I try to tell myself that everything has to come to an end but I know that doesn't apply here, it didn't have to end.
It's not long before I look out the window again and see a small figure slowly make its way through the snow. I try not to assume things but I can't help it. I sit up and get closer to the window and squint my eyes close together. The image gets clearer and I know it's her. I leap out of my bed and grab the coat. I practical jump from the top of the stairs to the bottom, I slip into my sneakers and head out the door.
It' pretty dark so it takes me a while to spot her again, when I do I slowly make my way through the snow to the other side of the street. She's looking down and doesn't notice me walk onto the side walk in front of her. Not knowing what else to say, I start, "Rachel,"
She stops dead in her tracks and slowly brings her head up, she looks broken her eyes drooping and her mouth in a low frown. She goes from broken to angry in the snap of a finger. "What do you want Mike?"
When she says that it stings like hell and I almost flinch, "I want to make sure you're ok and not cold, I know you hate it."
"I'm perfectly fine Mike," she says before a cold breeze sweeps over us and she visibly shivers and pulls her small jacket over her more.
"You sure you don't look like it." I state stepping closer "and you don't sound like it either."
"What's that suppose to mean?" She asks really angry.
"Well the Rachel I know isn't so angry, the Rachel I know isn't 'fine' when it's below freezing, and the Rachel I know shouldn't be pissed at me."
"Well then maybe you don't know me, now get out of my way." She starts to walk forward but another chilling breeze stops her.
I am nothing if not a gentlemen, so I pull of my coat and hand it out to her, "Here, you need it more then me."
"Why would I want that?" she asks less angry.
"Because you hate the cold and you need it more then me, so just take it." I say stepping closer.
She sighs, and takes the coat. When she puts it on she immediately relaxes into the warmth.
"Thanks," she says softly
"No problem." We stand in silence for a couple of moments before I state "It's getting pretty dark, need someone to walk you home?"
She's a lot calmer and looks at me with big doe eyes, "Sure,"
As we start to walk slowly through the heavy snow, there is an awkward silence and I'm trying to think of a way to break the ice before she asks "Why are you doing this Mike?" her voice is smooth and exactly like I remember.
"Because I don't want to see you cold and alone." I say looking towards her.
She smiles, "Well thanks"
We start talking like we used to, it felt good and it flowed but eventually it came to an awkward silence. She started to lean closer and closer to me and soon she was leaning on my side. I wanted to just wrap my arm around her and hold her close. Things were comfortable but I needed to break the silence.
"Shouldn't you be mad at me?" I ask
"I should but I found that I can't stay angry at you for long." She replies and that makes me smile.
"Well good, I don't think I could have you stay angry at me for long."
"I was for a long time, you know after it ended." She says getting quiet.
"You know I didn't want it to end." I say stopping and looking at her
"Then why did it?" she asks, her voice stinging me more then ever.
"Because I opened my big fat mouth,"
"And how did that go?" she asks
"Horrible, I've never have regretted anything this much, never felt that bad when it ended."
She stared at my eyes as if she was looking for some sign of me lying, she didn't find any. I looked at her seeing if there was any hesitation, there wasn't so I pulled her into a kiss.
I slowly pull back and she opens her eyes to see mine staring back. "I've missed you." She says
"I'm here now and this time I'm not going anywhere." She smiles and pulls me into a tight hug before a kiss.
Summer's over, we're not.