Protect And Serve:

It was several nights later that she came home from school to find small trails of salt across every doorway.

After a searching the house, she found a pentagram with symbols around it seared into the doormats that she had placed in front of the doors as well as any rug he could find. When she had asked him about it, he had only answered with a single word and a haggard look.

"Protection." A silent begging in his eyes that she be okay with these strange habits.

He actually seemed a little surprised by the salt, and Lisa found that she couldn't imagine a life where laying protection for evil spirits became so common-place that you did it without thinking.

She came to a the point where she understood that the man living in her house was perhaps the bravest on this earth.

That night, when he cried out for Sam, it was in the middle of a dream so violent he woke himself up. And the look on his face when he realized where he was, was indeed heartbreaking.


Different Is Not Always Better:

Two weeks later, he was better. Not good, but slightly better. Albeit strained.

He was actually trying with Ben though, and Ben was still the happy-go-lucky ten year old that he had become attached to three years ago.

Dean was different each time they met, older, less willing to make light of serious things. And there was something dangerously close to true affection for her and her son in his eyes when he thought she wasn't looking. But he still wasn't completely theirs, and Lisa knew that he might never be theirs alone.

Dean still cried himself to sleep most nights, the other nights he'd go out to the Impala when he thought she was asleep and would procure a large bottle of liquor and drink quietly, staring up at the stars until he fell asleep in the back seat or passed out.

Those nights she'd sit on the front porch and keep an eye on him and he would be just drunk enough to not notice, or at least to pretend he didn't.

So she prayed at night, even though she wasn't usually the praying kind- that he would let her bear some of the burden that he carried.


Chiming In:

One day, she came home to find him tinkering with something in the backyard. Upon closer inspection it turned out to be a wind-chime made entirely of cats-eye shells. She didn't ask this time, as he had the same look on his face as when she'd found the salt; by the end of the day, there were two on the back porch, two on the front and one inconspicuously hung on their tree in the backyard where Ben liked to play.


What's Lost Can Be Found... Or So They Say:

They were riding together in the Impala one night; it was just the two of them. Not quite a date, since they weren't quite dating. Was comforting a relationship status?

Motorhead hummed loudly from speakers, warbling in some places where the tapes had run thin after being played year after year.

She smiled at the side of his face,

"You know, they can put a CD player in classic cars without hurting her- you know- so you could join us in the 21st century., It's a nice place here, with the rest of humanity."
"What did I tell you about the driver picking the music, Sam-"

He jerked, and his eyes widened painfully in pain as he caught himself, and she saw that sudden feeling of soul-crushing darkness that swallows you when you just managed to forget for a second.
But he doesn't cry, and she reaches up and turns the tape up, almost painfully loud.

Lost in the music.

Or maybe just Lost.


Thank you darling Supernatural fans for reading my increasingly depressing drabbles ;-D I labeled it under drama/angst because honestly, since like the third episode of the first season that is pretty much what the show's been about, except for those randomly funny/awesome eps that make you giggle insanely, until the next eps when horribleness falls like the hand of God (often quite literally in this show, hee)

Just wondering if any of you know WHY he is hanging chimes made of cats-eye shells outside lisa's house?

love and cookies to my fellow fangirls/boys (to the like, 8 of them that are out there)

Red