OOC and Other Natural Disasters

The One That Makes Your Ears Bleed

If you looked in the dictionary under "Nudge," you'd find a picture of a bird kid talking a mile a minute. (Actually, you'd find "a gentle push or jog" but that's not my point.) Nudge is the tween girl that every group of kids needs. She brings a touch of fun and frivolity to the series, forcing everyone to stop wallowing in their dreary lives and try a little pop culture for once! Not only is Nudge the proverbial ray of sunshine, but she can turn into a hellion the moment an Eraser makes one false move. Remember the paint can incident in the first novel?

This is of course how Nudge is written by Patterson's pen. In Fanfiction terms, you'll hardly get a word in edgewide between her chatter and Justin Bebier iPod playlist that constantly repeats until you jump off a bridge to end it all.

Nudge reads Vogue, not American Girl and Twist magazine! And she sure doesn't spend all of her time fawning over Iggy. In fact, the only time she ever fawned over a guy was Fang in volume two of the manga. But since we've already established Iggy as a player, we might as well add Nudge to the laundry list of women who'd like to do him.

Case In Point:

"Oh my GOSH! MAAAAAX!" Nudge squealed. She held out this pitch for thirty long seconds before taking a deep breath. "I…" Her voice suddenly dropped to a whisper. "I need to talk to you."

"What about?" Max sighed dramatically, reaching for another box of Kleenex. This was so cutting in on her emo-fest over Fang.

Nudge rolled her eyes. "Iggy, of course! I think there's a love triangle going on, and well, you seem to have problems with men…" Her words kept speeding up until she sounded like "Helium-Breathing Barbie" speaking Morse code. Max's brain overheated and she fainted, brains oozing out her ears. Nudge, who was too absorbed in her conversation, plowed on.

Then, Iggy walked in. Nudge immediately fell silent, looking anywhere but at his gorgeous, sightless blue orbs and luxurious strawberry-blonde hair. Because as everyone knows, Nudge is hopelessly in love with Iggy. That's why every time Iggy came near, Nudge would recede into a shell of herself and only pour out her feelings in a secret diary kept under her bed.

"Um… Nudge?" Iggy poked her in the shoulder. Nudge fainted dead away, dreaming of Robert Pattinson, Justin Bebier, and whether or not Kate Gosselin really should have been on "Dancing With the Stars."

The end.

I suck at updating.

Any requests for the Gazzy or Angel chapters, let me know. And if you have any other characters you'd like me to try my hand at, leave those in your review too!