Chapter Twenty-Six: Z
Z is for Zeal
Elanor has always pursued things with a one-minded zeal.
First, when she was a youngling, she pursued a Master. She needed one, in order to become a Jedi Knight, and she didn't want to end up in the AgriCorps, the place youngling who weren't chosen were sent.
But who would want that fate? To get such a close taste of what it meant to be a Jedi; to someone special, someone unique, someone powerful; to live and breathe the Jedi way of live for thirteen years – and then find out you weren't worth it? That no one wanted you?
So she trained and practiced and studied – did everything, anything she could do to make herself a suitable candidate for a Jedi.
And, to her relief, she succeeded in that goal, because she was chosen.
Secondly, when she was a Padawan, she pursued Knighthood. She needed to be a good Padawan, one who could be part of the Order she was born to serve, one who exemplify what it meant to be a Jedi, one who could follow the mandate of the Order that had been laid out over thousands of generations of the Order's existence.
She didn't want to fail. She couldn't fail. Failure was not an option.
Unless, of course, the Force decided that it was her destiny to fail – and ended her life during the Clone Wars.
But, miraculously, she survived when her Master did not. She thought it meant that she was meant to become a Jedi, for why else would she live?
Her goal was sidetracked a little – well, perhaps more than a little – by her capture and subsequent torture. But she survived. And she found a new Master, a better one.
And one who would, in time, come to mean more to her than even Knighthood.
But she still went after her goal, and she still succeeded, because she did pass the Trials.
And then, of course, she found out another reason why she survived the Jedi Purge, one that had nothing to do with her being a Jedi or not – although that certainly helped, of course.
It was because of Obi-Wan.
He needed her, perhaps, as much as she needed him – to restore his confidence, to heal his soul, to remind him of who he was. And, along the way, find another reason to live.
She became his reason to live, and he became hers.
And she still loves him, for she could never stop. Not even now, when over four years have passed since their separation and his death, can she stop loving him. Their love will never falter, and she will never let it go.
So therein lies her next and last goal – to become one with the Force.
She remembers how startled she was when, one night, the Force surged softly and a gentle breeze brushed over her hair – except it wasn't a breeze. She remembers how she shot up, tears overflowing her eyes, as she drank in the sight before her.
He wasn't the same as she remembered.
No, he was much better.
He looked as he had before Order 66 – handsome, young, powerful, confident, relaxed – everything she had ever loved in him.
She couldn't touch him, of course, for his form wasn't truly corporeal, but seeing as just seeing him was as good as it was going to get – well, that was enough for her.
But he could touch her . . . well, sort of. It didn't feel like skin against her cheek, but rather like the cool mist of morning, gathered into roughly the shape of a human hand.
When she finally calmed down, he had "sat" beside her as he used to when he was alive and they chatted on the bed. And in a soft whisper, he had told her everything.
He had revealed the truth about Anakin and Padmé, and their children, and the parts he had played not only in Anakin's transformation to Darth Vader but also in the protection of Anakin's children.
He told her what had happened when he had died – how he had ended up on the Death Star, how he had seen the remnants of a destroyed Alderaan, how he had died so that Luke and Leia and the others could escape.
And, lastly, he confided in her the secret, the key, the ultimate power. The secret that allowed him to manifest like this to her, that allowed him to keep a hold on his world even after his death, that allowed him to continue guiding Luke.
Full of wonder, she had listened to him. She had never suspected that his long meditations were anything but him re-attaining his inner peace – the peace destroyed by years of war and bloodshed.
But apparently, they had had a purpose. And a rather useful one, too.
When he had told her that Qui-Gon had discovered the secret, she had pulled away in shock. Every Padawan knew the story about Qui-Gon Jinn – and his death on Naboo at the hands of the Sith Lord Obi-Wan had then killed.
But that had been so long ago . . . almost fourteen years before she had met Obi-Wan, actually.
Apparently, the passing of years meant nothing to those who had become one with the Force – as her Obi-Wan had.
When he offered to teach her the secret in return, she knew he was doing as much for himself as he was for her. While on one hand, he wanted her to learn merely for the sake of her learning it as a fellow member of the Jedi Order, on the other he wanted her to learn so that when she died, he would not lose her. If she learned the secret and used it, she would join the Force but retain her conscious self – meaning that one day they could be reunited.
And for him as much for herself, she had accepted.
So now, as her breath slides past her lips in a slow exhale, she reaches for the Force as her spirit slips away. There is nothing left for her to live for now; the purpose for her existence is gone. Luke will resurrect the Order and Leia will revive the Republic on their own. They don't need her help.
Then everything fades into darkness.
She is floating now . . . floating in a sea of endless darkness with a sky of infinite emptiness overhead. She is nothing, and she is everything.
And then light – sweet, glorious, brilliant light.
She rises on the wind, weightless as vapor, with light shining all about her and stars twinkling and the endless emptiness parting to reveal . . . a glowing, silver place.
This is her home.
And this is where her family is.
One by one, figures shimmer into existence beside her. They are dressed as she is, only instead of being blue, now they look as real as they did in life.
She runs to her old Master first and hugs him. He pats her shoulder gently and looks at her, registering how she has changed. His words are soft as he congratulates her for moving on, for surviving, for becoming a full Knight.
Then she bows to Master Yoda, whose words are cryptic as always.
Then she runs into all of her crèche friends. Some were never chosen as Padawans. Others died in the Clone Wars. But she is glad to see all of them, and surprised to realize that very few are Knights like her.
And then the Force ripples again as someone else appears.
She turns – and then the whole world crystallizes around one person, the one who has appeared.
Without thinking, without planning, without hesitating, she whirls around and hurls herself into the loving embrace of Obi-Wan.
Now that they are both part of the Force, their forms are somewhat corporeal – and so she can touch him this time.
And touch him she does.
Tears fall unhindered from her eyes as she buries her face in the soft weave of his tunic, clutching desperately at him. After all her dreams of what it would be like to see him again, it seems all she can do is sob and tremble and cling to him.
He bears it patiently, but she can sense the desperation and joy and relief that he feels as well that they are back together. His arms are just a little tighter around her than she remembers from before; his breathing only just starting to relax; the words he is murmuring just a tad too fast to be just there for her comfort.
When her hold finally starts to loosen, she pulls back just in time for him to brush a soft kiss across her lips.
She sighs and kisses him back. It's been only four years, but it seems like forever to her. . .
He tightens his arms as he deepens the kiss, and she snakes her arms around his neck as she presses herself against him. His kiss, the feel of his lips on hers, the warmth of his body radiating around her – they are all so familiar and so addicting. . .
In other words, she doesn't want to let go of him. Not now, and not ever.
And anyways – this is their happily ever after. And they don't ever have to leave it now.
Elanor has always pursued her goals with a one-minded zeal, but now she realizes that it is her love for Obi-Wan Kenobi is the real reason she succeeded in this goal. Compassion and love are the real secrets to this, and she has them.
Because Elanor loves Obi-Wan Kenobi and he loves her, and now they will never be parted from one another.
So this is the end of A Love Alphabet. Thanks to everyone who has stayed with me this far and reviewed! And once again, this story was based off of Crazytenor42's story Kenobi's Beloved Angel, so if you liked this you should go check that one out (and bombard her with reviews).