Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, the songs or anything else mentioned in this fictional story.
Author's Note: First, yes, I know I haven't been around in more than four months but I'm back with a new chapter. I had a major case of writer's block and I seriously didn't know what to do with this story. Fortunately, I got through my problem. This is a ass long chapter compared to the ones before this since I haven't updated in a very long time. Hopefully, I'll get back right on track if life would give me a break.
Second, for those of you who have seen the pictures of the characters, I changed Jane and Rosalie. Instead of Jane being Dakota Fanning, I replaced her with Riley Keough since she's way hotter than Dakota (in my opinion, anyway) and Rosalie being Annalynne McCord because one, she's a real blonde and second, I really don't like Nikki Reed as Rosalie.
Third, I have a little something for you. This chapter will be both in Alice's and Bella's POV.
Fourth, I have a new blog for this story. Please go check it out. Link is in my profile.
I didn't know what to think of this. Bella doesn't want me. Ever. And I have to grasp that little detail. She will never ever love me like the way I love her. Love for best friend she could give me but as an equal, or a lover? I don't think she even thought of the idea of loving me. Her super best friend who is always there for her no matter what.
I've always been there for Bella. Every step of the way, I was there by her side. When her dad smashed her guitar when we were seventeen because her grades were failing, I was there to sneak her way out of their house and held her as she cried in my bed. When she didn't have the money to pay rent, I was there to lend her some. Every heartbreak she's been through, I was there to watch sappy movies and pig out on junks. I was there. Me. No one else. How could she not see that I love her so much?
But I had to move on for the sake of my sanity. I would always love Bella, that's for sure, but right now, I have to look out for myself just this once.
"That's great Bella." I gave her a tortured smile and turned around to go back to our table.
"Wait, Alice. I want to tell you that-"
"Whatever it is, I'm sure it can wait."
"No. I have to tell you that—"
"I'm sorry Bella. I have to go." I reached our table and grabbed Leah before dashing out the door.
"What happened?" Leah asked when we got out of Blaze and started walking towards the parking lot. I told her I didn't bring a car since I came here with Bella. She guided me to her silver Hyundai Sonata and let me in the passenger seat before going in the driver's seat.
"Just drive." I instructed her.
"Where do you wanna go?"
"Anywhere! I just wanna get out of here." I didn't mean to snap at Leah but I desperately wanted to leave. I can clearly see Bella standing at the entrance door from the rearview mirror. She was breathing heavily since she chased after me. I didn't wanna see her like that so I averted my eyes away from her.
Leah drove for about ten minutes before arriving at our destination. I looked up from my lap and noticed that we were at Leah's coffee shop. She got out of her car and I followed after her. We went inside then Leah directly went behind the counter after greeting her employees.
"What do you want?" She asked me. I looked up at their menu then told her what I wanted. She quickly made my café conquistador while I went to the comfy couches and waited for Leah. She was finished in a second carrying a tray with two mugs and a plate of brownie.
"So tell me exactly what happened." She gave me my mug before sitting on the couch in front of me.
I went to tell her about everything that Bella and I had talked about. How she was jealous that Leah had simply kissed my cheek, how she told me that she had someone else to love and all that crap.
"She's crazy you know." Leah said. I didn't reply. I just look at her and let her continue to talk. "From the moment I met you, I told myself that you were the kind of girl I wanted."
"You didn't even know me then." I interrupted her.
"I knew you were pretty and I knew you were broken. I saw your eyes. They had unshed tears in them. I thought that I could sweep you off your feet." She smiled that breathtaking smile that she had. "But then I saw the way you looked at Bella when she was playing and I knew I couldn't compete with that."
I thought about what she was telling me. Could Leah like me, like me? This is my chance to get over Bella. I could date other people. Love other people. Bella and I could go out with different people without difficulty in my part.
"You could, you know." I said after a while.
"What?" She asked, confused.
"You could compete with her."
Leah looked at me for a minute before saying, "I don't think I have a shot."
At that moment, I saw Leah in a different light. She had beautiful hazel eyes that twinkled under her lashes. Her black wavy hair surrounded her beautiful face as her long fingers gripped the mug she was holding while she took a sip of her coffee. Then I saw her tongue lick her lips. I imagined kissing her without thinking about Bella for a change. I wanted to do it but I was scared. Scared that maybe there was no way that I could get over my love for my best friend. But I had to try, right?
I got off the couch I was seating on then went over to her. I stood before her and before I knew it, I was hovering over her. She was trapped between my body and the couch, my hands resting at the backrest of the couch.
"Can I try something?" I whispered. She nodded as we stared deeply into each others eyes. I leaned closer to her, smelling her sweet vanilla scent. I brought my right hand to her cheek and pushed her face slightly so that our faces were angled in the right position. Before I knew it, I crushed my lips to hers. It was slow at first, pecks here and there, until Leah became bold. Her hands rested at the back of my thighs then she pulled me to her body. Her whole back was resting on the backrest now while I straddled her. Leah pushed her tongue inside my mouth then explored the inside of it.
It was very hot. Thank God it was past midnight and there were no customers anymore. The girl on the counter had her half hour break awhile ago so we were good for now. We kissed for a long time and as time passed, Leah's hands were also exploring my body. Her hands went from my face, to the back of my neck, to my back, pushing me closer to her, then finally, resting on my ass.
I could feel that the end was coming since I was feeling slightly dizzy from not getting the desired oxygen of my body. Leah gave me last few pecks on my lips before ending our sensual kiss.
"How was that?" I rested my forehead on hers as I wrapped my arms around her neck.
"That was fucking amazing." She whispered against my neck as she gave little pecks to it as well as licking it. My eyes were rolling at the back of my eyelids as she did that. I had never felt this kind of feeling before.
"I know." I said back to her. I seated beside her as she was the one now leaning towards me. We kissed some more until we heard a ding at the door, signaling that there was a customer. We broke apart faster than a lighting bolt then looked at the direction at the counter. There were indeed four buzzed teenagers ordering. I turned back to Leah and stared at her as she looked back into me.
"We should take this slow." She said. I nodded in agreement but I had to know what we are now. So I asked her. "Well, I would like to take you on dates, if you don't mind, and get to know you better." Leah was stroking my cheeks with her thumb. "You're so beautiful Alice. I don't know why Bella can't see that." And that how the good mood ended.
How come Bella ruins everything?
I sighed deeply and Leah noticed. "I'm sorry I brought her up. I didn't mean to."
"It's fine." I told her. I looked up at her and smiled. "So, about that date…"
I can't believe this is happening to me. Alice just left with that girl without even letting me explain about this bullshit I'm in. Jane was just supposed to make her feel jealous but I think it went the other way around with Alice bringing Leah during my night. This was supposed to be the night of my life. I was performing for the Volturi brothers and getting signed. But the highlight of the night was that I was about to tell her I fucking love her but I guess she doesn't feel half the love I feel about her. She just bolted out the door without a second glance back at me. Rose was tearing my ear off, yelling at me about how stupid I was for hurting Alice. They all knew how I felt about Alice except her.
I wrote We Match for her. It reminds me how perfect we could be. We're best friends, closer with each other than with anyone in our group, and that could all change for the best once we got together. Everytime she's with me, there's never a dull moment. She lights up my darkest moments and with just one smile, everything will be all right again. I love her so much and I can't explain how deep I felt for this woman. She's my life from the moment I knew I was in love with her, which was when I was fourteen.
When we were sixteen, I told her to touch herself to make sure that she was indeed a lesbian like me. The truth was that I wanted to see her cum face. That was the plan but then I could barely breathe when I saw how ragged her breathing was becoming and she was seating terribly hot while she rammed her fingers inside of her pussy. I wanted to ravish her right then and there but that might break us apart for good. When I can't take it anymore, I straddled her down to the bed and crashed my lips to hers before she could do anything about it.
It was the best experience of my entire life. No one could compete with her taste. I fought with my feelings for a long time. God knows how hard I fought it but at some point, I just said, fuck it, she was damn worth all the pain I will be experiencing.
And damn right I experienced all the pain a woman could feel.
I watched how she smiled for all those girls she went out with. How she flirted with the girls watching our gig, grinding with them whenever we played a dance song. It pained me to see her with others.
When I saw Jane at an art gallery I went to, I thought she was the perfect girl to get Alice jealous. They were the total opposite and Alice and everyone else would be pissed at me. But then the end result is that I would know if Alice felt that spark I felt whenever our skins touch each other.
It was hard to figure it out because everyone hated Jane. I didn't know if Alice was telling me that Jane was not good for me because she was being a good friend or that she was beyond annoyed seeing me with someone else. I didn't have a clue.
When I saw Leah kissing Alice's cheek, it was the last straw for me. I saw red. I missed some chords but thank God I got back on track. After the gig was over and we talked to the Volturi brothers, I went over to Alice and talked to her. I was harsher than I thought I would be. I had a plan in my head. I would ask her what Leah was to her and tell her all about my feelings for her. But I guess I did something wrong since I ended up right here. Still alone. Still no Alice in my arms.
"You're a jerk, Bella." Rose said menacingly at me. Blaze was long closed at it was only me, Edward, Emmett, Rose, Jacob and some of the employees who were cleaning up, left in the building. Jasper went to take Maria home since she didn't have a car since Leah was her ride home and we all know what happened to her.
"Dude, I'm totally with Rose at this one. You could've dodged all this if you haven't dated that bitch." Edward said to me. He really hated Jane because she once told him that his voice was a bit nasally.
"I know that now, okay." I said before downing yet another shot of my tequila before chasing it with beer.
"That's enough for the night. I'm taking you home." Jake said as he grabbed the bottle of tequila that I was poring in my shot glass away from me before I put another one of those burning drinks in my throat.
"Give it back to me. None of you know how I'm feeling. You all have your fucking partners by your side and loving you." I was clearly drunk but I didn't care. I was heartbroken and the only one who can heal it was with someone else. So I would settle for the next best thing: alcohol.
"Enough, Bella." Emmett grabbed my arm and forced me to stand up but my legs were too weak to stand up much less to walk. I heard my friends talking but I didn't understand a thing they were saying. I felt someone carry me in their arms and that's when I broke down. I cried for my broken heart, I cried for my stupid alone ass. It was selfish for thinking of myself like this but I was fucking pathetic like that. I want Alice beside me, taking all the pain away. But she was with someone else. "Shhh, Bella. Everything will be okay." Emmett whispered in my ear. I fought hard to get away from Emmett, whom I learned was carrying me, but he wouldn't budge.
"Put me down, Emmett." I screamed at him. My throat was burning from all the alcohol intake but I didn't care. I wanted him to let go of me.
"We're getting you home, Bella." He said. I heard a car door open before he put me inside. It was challenge getting me inside the car since I was fighting them all to get out of it but at the end, they still won. I rode with Jake and Rose. I thought I they were taking me at my house but Rose wouldn't have any of my bullshit tonight and told me that they were taking me at their house. I was tired at that point and didn't fight with her any further.
We arrived at their house and they led me in the guestroom. The moment that my head hit the pillow, I was out for the rest of the night.
When I woke up that morning, everything that happened last night crashed down onto me. My head was throbbing and it felt like any second, I would puke.
Then I thought about Alice.
I needed a smoke.
I got out off bed and went to the adjoined bathroom. I splashed ice cold water on my face so the sleepiness would go away. I walked down the stairs noisily and went straight to the kitchen where Rose and Jake were.
"Mornin'" I said groggily. Jake said it back but Rose just looked at me before sighing and making coffee for me.
"Milk?" She turned back to me and asked the question.
"Uhhmm… thanks but no thanks. I'm going home." I waved goodbye before heading out the door. My house was a walking distance so I didn't need transportation to get there.
Thank god my key was still in my pocket.
I went inside my house and immediately went up to my room. Anywhere I look, I see Alice everywhere. She designed the exterior of this house for me and even though it wasn't her specialty, she did the interiors as well with the help of her partner. It was a big two-story house. I love this house so much not just because Alice made it but because I paid for it myself. I needed a little help at first but at the end, it was all me.
I changed my clothes from last night to a more comfortable pants and some hoodie before grabbing a pack of cigarette, my lighter and some cash on my nightstand. I went down to get my car keys and went out to the garage to ride in my baby.
I went to the grocery store not far from Blaze to get a coke and some more cigarettes since I had only two left in my pack. I got out of my car, went inside, grabbed some cigs and a can of soda and went out as fast as I can.
As I was getting back in my car, I felt that strange pull I only feel when Alice was around. I looked around me and I was definitely right with that strange pull thing. There, at the other side of the rode, was Alice, sipping on an ice coffee. She was beautiful. Her long hair was framing her face as it blew around because of the wind. She had a gorgeous smile plastered on her face as she was walking down the street. I was gawking at her but that all stopped when I heard her call out her name.
"Alice!" Leah was coming out of the coffee shop that Alice just got out of. Leah was running towards her waving something. It was her cellphone. She must've forgotten it inside. They talked for a few minutes before my world crashed down onto me.
That bitch pulled Alice's waist closer to her body and crashed her lips to hers.
This was probably the most awful day of my entire life. I can't breathe properly and my heart was beating erratically inside of me. What made it worst was that Alice snaked her arms around Leah's neck.
I can't watch this anymore. I had to get out of here.
I have to move on from her.
I have to forget that I love her,
But could I do that?