I'd taken Junior with me to the jewellery stores looking for the pendent that I knew I had to get I was determined t give Brea a piece of her daughter to take with her to her next adventure, whether that was a new life, heaven or some other wonderful place that I knew she would be. It took 2 hours of walking around downtown to find the one store that held what I was looking for. It was beautiful; a simple silver pendent decorated with baby's breath around the outside with enough space to etch an image of a beautiful little girl. I didn't care for the money that it would cost, she was well and truly worth every penny and I'd gladly pay more for it. I had a little hospital picture of Little Bella that Marcus and Chelsea had given me after I had explained what I had planned to do; handing it to the clerk was harder than I expected. Who knew that that one little thing would be so hard to do? I was told that it would be available to pick up in around an hour since the picture was such a high quality. But as I made my way towards the door I saw them, 6 lockets with ample space to have something etched onto the front and enough room to place a few strands of hair from Brea's flowing locks. Without a second thought I called the attendant over once more and ordered the lockets to be etched with the image of Brea taken only days before hand and the word mother on one; daughter on another and sister on the remaining four. But with such a large order I now had to with for 24 hours before they would be ready. I knew what I had to do.
Packing Junior into the car I made our way to the funeral home where Brea was resting until the funeral in two days. Explaining what I was there to do was something that was never going to be easy or well it verged on the insane side of things? I knew Brea would love it. The funeral director thought it was a beautiful sentiment that would definitely be worth doing and readily agreed to gather a few of Brea's hairs for me and placed them into an envelope. He smiled at me before showing me to the door, I understood that he wasn't being rude, but was saving me from losing control while I had Junior and was on my own. Jasper was worried that I was going out on my own, hell everyone was. Each one asked me where I got my strength to be able to hold myself together, but it was them. They were helping me to hold Brea's memory with each shared memory they told me. They needed me to be there for them. I needed to be there to help my family; my needs could wait. I headed home with Junior once more to face the worried glances from Jasper who I had been keeping my distance from. I knew it wasn't fair to him; to anyone but I needed to find my peace with losing the sister I never knew I wanted until she was there in my life.
I went through the usual steps of everyday when I walked into the house, kissing Jasper gently on the cheek, and handing our little boy over; knowing that he needed the reassurance that Junior was safe and in his arms. Of holding Char as she let go a little more each time she saw me. I hadn't forgotten that she too lost the little sister that she never knew she needed, and it made her more obvious that she was sacred that I too would one day be gone forever too. Irrational yes, but grief does things to you that normally you would never understand or feel. Of ruffling Peter's hair as he took Char from my arms and getting the strained smile I knew held so many worries for the family he was bound to protect from more pain. Even if I was the one causing it. We ate, talked little, and held one another until it was time to go to bed, where Jasper would watch me scared that I was going crazy inside, and he might have been onto something. But I knew I would be fine. I had to be; once everyone was okay then I could let go. Then I could finally say goodbye to my little sister.
Waking up I faced the new day, smiling on the inside with what I had planned to finish. "Jasper, I'm going out, I'll be back in an hour." I called softly from the bathroom as he and Junior cuddled up in bed. He needed his son right now and I wasn't going to take him away. His astonished face was beautiful when he realised that I was leaving the house without Junior but he said nothing. Kissing him goodbye I made my way back to the jewellery store to pick up the all the lockets and pendent. I made amazing time, wouldn't you know it, when things are down the time flies by without you even noticing. The lockets were stunning, and the jeweller himself came out due to the size of the order. I explained what I was doing, and he too readily agreed to help me once I had placed the hairs in each locket, he sealed them so they would never open. He then led me to the back of the store where he pulled out so many chains to hold each locket and the pendent on that I was thrown for a loop. But none of them seemed to represent what and who Brea was. It wasn't until I saw the old stock in the back that I knew what I was looking for. There stood a dozen silk chokers at least, with varying colours and a little clasp at the front for something to hang from. It was too easy.
I picked a white one for both Brea's pendent and Little Bella's locket. Mother and daughter should match as both are or were innocent and pure in soul and spirit. Rose would definitely be blood red, something that Brea always commented on her lips. Playing on the whole vampire thing after she saw Emmett's neck one time after a serious make out session that we had interrupted. Char would have a yellow coloured choker, after all those two were constantly calling each other sunshine or sunflower. Alice, how could I not pick the powder pink silk for Alice, the true girl of us, heaven help Little Bella once she's old enough to be interested in fashion, she better be a girly girl is all I'm saying. For myself I took a simple black silk, not knowing if I would ever be able to get over the pain of losing her so soon after everything she had gone through. But I also hose a pale blue for myself to change it once I was able to say goodbye to my little sister. Not knowing when that would be. But Chelsea, she was hard, how do you pick a colour to represent a bond of mother and daughter who had gone through so much to have it taken away so fast and painfully. I knew she would have a black silk for now, but she would need another one for when she too was ready for the release of her daughter's spirit. Then I saw it, the deep green that was the same colour of Brea's eyes. It was perfect. How could I not get that for Chelsea? The store owner asked me why I had picked each one as I picked up the last items I need. He was beyond touched at the symbolism behind the choice and quite aggressively argued with me to take them with no payment.
I smiled for the first time since Brea had died walking out the store with my purchase, feeling like I was slowly on my way to letting go the girl who had changed everything so fast with no regrets from anyone that she had allowed into her heart. I made my way home to find everyone there waiting for me to get back. I left my bags in the car, not wanting to let them know quite yet what I was planning and what I had done for us all. "Hey, why is everyone here?" I asked Jasper as he engulfed me in his arms. I felt the soft kisses he placed around my face. "Bella you've been gone for nearly 3 hours. We were all worried." I looked down, had it really been 3 hours since I left the house, did it really take me that long to get everything ready? I felt like shit, I'd made them worry while I was lost in my own little world. "Sorry, I didn't mean to worry everyone. I'm really sorry but I'm home now and won't be going out again." I whispered not really to anyone but I knew that Jasper heard me as he pulled me closer once more. We stayed as a group for the rest of the day, no-one leaving until the boys had to go over to Marcus and Chelsea's place for a meeting with them.
Walking out to the car I couldn't help the eyes that followed m to my car when I went to get the lockets. Pulling the bags out I watched as both Rose and Alice quickly went back inside while Char stayed there in the door frame for me to walk in the house once more. "I've got something for you all." I sat down waiting for the girls to take their seats. Once they were sitting down I handed them the simple boxes that held the little bit of Brea that we could have for the rest of our time. I watched as they opened the boxes and the realization of what they were holding. A piece of our sister forever.