Summary: In s2 e9, Bill & Sookie talk about Eric tricking Sookie into drinking his blood. He reveals another secret he's been keeping from Sookie, but she doesn't seem to catch it. What if she had? This begins as a transcript from the show before going AU.Chapter 1 The Dawn of Panic
"I could kick myself. I'm so stupid. I wasn't thinkin'," Sookie berated herself, coming out of the bathroom and collapsing on the bed.
"He did take bullets for you. At least we both came out of it alive," Bill replied, trying to comfort both Sookie and himself.
"I know better than to believe one word out of that man's mouth. I sucked his chest! What is wrong with me?"
"Eric has had a thousand years practice in deceit. He lied to prove his power to me. He counted on your goodness. There's no shame in that. "
"But his blood, Bill. I tried to spit it all out. Really. But some of it musta gone down."
"It only takes a drop or two."
"He'll always know where I am and how I feel. Always. That's the worst of all."
"No. Not the worst."
"What do you mean?"
"Don't be surprised if you feel some attraction to him... Sexual."
"To Eric? That's impossible. I can't stand him."
"It is possible. It's another consequence of the blood. It woulda happened sooner or later. He was determined to form this bond with you."
Sookie took a deep breath and thought about what Bill was telling her. How had she gotten so mixed up in all of this? She thought back to when Bill first walked into Merlotte's. She had wanted to meet a vampire but ever since she'd let him into her life, trouble followed. She had been bored before but safe.
Now she was nearly getting killed and having to drink vampire blood and then be attracted to him just because... An ugly realization dawned on her then. She'd had Bill's blood. A lot of it. And long before she'd ever started dating him.
She studied his face as he sat there on the bed before her. Had she been attracted to him at first or only curious about his kind? Why had he never told her about this before?
Come to think of it, why was he so late the night the Rattrays had attacked her? Surely no one would ever go to that kind of extreme? Was it possible that he had really let her get that hurt just so she would need to drink his blood? Had he trapped her?
She looked at him, trying to decide how to ask him, but she was afraid to know the answer. He smiled at her in a way that seemed indulgent, like he was looking at a child or someone slow in the head. Did he think she was stupid?
A powerful panic settled in Sookie's chest. She felt as if she'd suffocate and die right there. Bill could feel her tense up and he reached out to comfort her.
Sookie moved back so quickly, she was off the other side of the bed and on the floor before she'd realized she'd moved. How much of Eric's blood had she ingested?
"Sookie, easy, honey. What's wrong?"
She blinked a few times, pulling herself from her thoughts and looked up at Bill, now standing over her. He was too close. It made her a little claustrophobic and her chest tightened further. She knew she'd pass out if she didn't get a breath soon.
She forced a weak cough and managed to whisper, "Back, please."
Bill was scared for her. He wanted to pick her up and soothe the suffocating panic he could feel but at her urging, he managed to restrain his instincts. He held his empty hands up in a gesture of surrender and backed away a few steps.
She was spooked, probably by the thought of Eric's forced bond, but why was she acting like he was the threat?
"What is it, Sookie? What can I do for you?"
Still not being able to breathe well past the panic of her realization, she managed a choked, "What else?"
"What else, what, darlin'?"
Finally catching one long breath, she yelled at him, "What else have you not told me?"
She continued to struggle to breathe past the fear that everything she believed might be a lie, while Bill stared down at her in shock. She was angry with him. He didn't know why but before he had a chance to ask, the hotel room door slammed open and Eric stormed into the room.
"What the hell are you doing to her, Compton? I've never felt such a panic!"
"This is not your concern, Eric. She is mine!" Bill yelled at the Viking vampire towering over him.
"You obviously do not know how to care for what is yours!" Eric raged back at the infuriating whelp.
Sookie was a flood of overwhelming emotions as she watched the two vampires on the verge of tearing each other apart. She was ashamed of herself for trusting either of them, angry at herself for falling apart right then, but mostly she was being crushed by the panic that left her stuck in this world she wished was still hidden from her. She just wanted to un-know it all.
She wanted to hate them both and she did at that moment, but she knew that if she was being honest, she wanted them both too. She stared at Eric for a minute. She did still hate him, but she couldn't deny that the attraction was there. It was like she was curious about him now and really looking at him for the first time. Damn vampire tricks! How could she ever be expected to know what she felt if their blood was influencing her? She wanted to know what were truly her thoughts and feelings and not just their manipulation.
If she was wrong about Bill being a good guy, could she be wrong about Eric being a bad guy? Surely no one was just one or the other. She remembered even having told Bill that she knew there was darkness in him. Now she was beginning to think there was more truth to that statement than she could have known at that time.
"Sookie? What's going on?" Jason called, alerted by the angry yelling vampires. When he saw his little sister cradled in on herself on the floor, he ran past the two vampires and gathered her in his arms. "What in the hell are ya'll doin' to my sister? Get out!" Jason yelled, rocking Sookie and trying to get her to calm down.
"Jason, we did nothing," Bill began to explain.
"I only came here to find out what he was doing to make her panic," Eric defended himself, though he didn't know why he even felt the need to explain himself to some human, especially this one.
"Get out!" Jason yelled again.
The two looked like they might turn their anger on him and Jason was truly scared for a minute until Sookie managed a raspy, "Please, leave."
The vampires softened their stances minutely. Bill sighed.
"I will leave, if he does," Eric stated, folding his long arms across his chest and indicating Bill with a nod of his head.
"Bill, please. Go," Sookie begged, nearly breathless.
Bill nodded and moved toward the door, stopping when he realized Eric was still standing over Sookie.
"Eric," Bill called warningly.
"Fine. But if she gets that upset again, I will be back," Eric vowed, following Bill out of the room.
Sookie sighed and relaxed a bit in Jason's arms.
"Sook, are you okay?"
She looked up at her brother and thought about lying but she just didn't have the strength.
"No," she answered, shaking her head and giving herself over to a fit of tears as Jason rocked her in his arms.