A/N I can't apologise enough for how long this took or how short it is. The past couple of months have been awful and I was so happy to see the back of 2010. It got to the point where I almost pulled all my fics and left because I just couldn't get anything out. OCDJen talked me down though, so if anyone still cares about these guys, you've got her to thank for them still being here.
By usual beta Mrs. Agget is out of action for a while so I have dtav to thank for the pre read and beta, thanx honey, you're amazing.
Edward slept like the dead last night, snuggled up to me. I'm glad one of us could sleep. My night wasn't as peaceful.
I lay there for hours, wide awake, thinking. Would he judge me for the things I had done, for the men I had used, the stupid situations I got myself into, all in the name of trying to forget about him?
Getting out of bed this morning, I had my whole day planned out. First, take Edward breakfast in bed and then spend as long as possible in his arms talking and moving forward. Then, Alice had to come along and spoil it all. I'm pissed that she knew all along. It's killing me that she knew. All those times she made comments, I now feel like she was just teasing me, trying to get the truth from me that Edward never felt comfortable enough to tell her.
If dealing with Alice wasn't bad enough, I then had to deal with his cousin Emmett who decided to tag along for the day. I may have been stupid enough to let Edward go, and blind enough not to see what he really meant to me, but I sure wasn't blind or stupid enough to not see that Emmett was attracted to my sister, Rose. God help us all.
I knew when Rose finally got her hands on me, after leaving without a word last night, I was in for shit.
Every time I caught Edward's eye during the shoot, he gave me this certain look. And, on more than one occasion, I caught him rearranging himself in his pants. I wanted nothing more than to grab him and take him away from all of these people and claim him as my own.
Once the shoot was over, we went back to our hotel and the guys decided we were going out tonight. That was when Emmett let it slip that Edward owned a club. I was stupid to not even consider that he had business interests.
Well before I was ready to let him go, Edward had to leave and ensure the club was ready for business. Telling me to bring an overnight bag with me and with a lingering, chaste kiss in front of everybody, I watched as he walked out of the hotel restaurant, praying there wouldn't be many more times I had to watch him walk away.
I was freaking out. Edward had left me at the hotel with the guys to wind down. We were meeting him at his club later, then we were going to spend the next forty-eight hours together, no distractions. We were going to talk through everything and hopefully come out the other side stronger and together.
That was all well said and done but the minute I walked into his club, I was done for. You could not deny that his staff respected him. He was someone here, he wasn't just my Edward, and he was the boss. He commanded respect, and he got it. They were eating out of his hand.
What felt like a short time later, but was actually two hours later, Edward excused himself to go 'work the decks'.
I tried to make my way after him but Alice grabbed a hold of my arm, I turned to look at her as she grinned and said, "Believe me Jazz, you want to stay here and watch this."
I wasn't about to have another fight with Alice, so I listened to her.
As I stood on the VIP balcony, I watched Edward make his way over to the DJ booth. As he was walking, I could see him rolling the muscles in his shoulders as if he was about to go for a major work out in the gym.
He made his way into the DJ booth, knocked his shoulder with Tyler's, then dipped down behind the decks. I saw Tyler's hands move over the buttons on the decks as Edward reappeared wearing his headphones, one section on his left ear, the other below his chin. The lights on the dance floor dimmed and I heard the first strains of 'The Club Can't Handle Me'. A hush fell over the dance floor as the beat built up. With a flick of his wrist, Edward brought the lights up and the beat kicked in. He was glorious behind the decks. As the beat kicked in, Tyler high fived him then Edward was bouncing to the beat, fist pumping the air, the crowd going crazy below him. I had no idea a DJ could have this kind of hold over a crowd. When I go to a club, I never pay attention to the guy or girl spinning the tracks.
The lights faded again as the beat died down. It was hard to see Edward now but I could see the throng on the dance floor looking like they were a single throbbing organism pulsing to the low beat. I felt myself swaying along with the tempo of the crowd below me. The lights went back up with a cheer from the crowd, and my eyes went straight to the decks where Edward was. As the beat kicked in, I watched him flip his head backwards, his hair flying in all directions.
Edward stood there, arms out stretched, nodding his head to the beat in a way that was doing nothing to control my need for him.
I counted the beat along with him until the hard tempo kicked back in. The line from the song, 'the club can't handle me right now', had never been so true. Fuck the rest of the club, I couldn't handle him right now. When did shy Edward Cullen become such a fuck hot sex god?
For the next hour, I refused to move from my vantage point as I couldn't tear my eyes away from him and truthfully, I didn't want to. Edward had me dazzled, the command he had over the crowd was awe inspiring. I am a performer, have been for years, and I've never been able to command a crowd as well as he had for the past hour.
As Edward finished his set, I managed to pull my eyes away from him. There's nothing worse than being caught looking like a love sick fool. Scanning my surroundings, I found Alice sitting at the end of the bar talking to the bartender. I couldn't see my band mates anywhere which wasn't anything new. Continuing to look around, I came across a scene I wish I could bleach from my memory. Please god, tell me that's not my sister and Edward's cousin making out like teenagers in the corner. Tearing my eyes away before I lost my lunch, I scanned the room hoping Edward had made his way back up here.
That's when I saw him!
Waiting at the top of the stairs from the dance floor was a beautiful looking guy holding a towel and a bottle of water. From what I could see, he had a warm olive complexion and raven hair, he was maybe five years younger than me and the smile he wore lit up his whole face.
That smile was aimed at Edward, My Edward.
As Edward appeared, Smiling Boy bounded over to him, placing the towel he held around his neck and handing him the bottle of water. As Edward took a long drink from the bottle, Smiling Boy had the nerve to put his hand on Edward's arm and to my horror, Edward didn't shake him off. Instead, he said something that had the boy laughing, and then after a brief hug he made his way over to me.
After that little display, he had the nerve to come kiss me on the cheek and say he'd be right back after he had cleaned up. Smiling Boy was also looking wistfully over in our direction. Fuck if I was having that!
After a staring contest with the little shit, I made my way to the bar and asked Alice if she could point me in the direction of Edward's office. I wasn't normally one for jealousy, but I would be fucked if some little shit was gonna get in my way now and Edward needed to know that.
I stalked down the corridor towards Edward's office door. I had no idea where this jealousy had come from, all I knew was that whatever I did next was probably a bad idea and not at all in line with our plans to take thing slow.
No matter how many times I told myself to head back to the bar and wait, I just couldn't.
The short walk to his office door seemed to take forever but eventually I felt the door handle beneath my fingers. No going back now.
Stepping into his office, Edward's back was to me. As silently as I could, I closed the door hoping he wouldn't hear the click as I needed every second I could get to form a plan in my head.
Edward's fingers gripped the hem of his t-shirt. Fuck planning, if he takes that shirt off all bets are off!
Slowly, like he knew I or someone at least was watching, he inched his shirt up over his abs. As the hem of his shirt reached his chin, I lurched forward, and grabbed a hold of his arms effectively restraining him.
"Jasper?" he questioned.
"Who the fuck else were you expecting? That twink out there?" I all but sneered back at him.
"Twink? What twink? You mean Benjamin? Jasper, he's just a guy with a crush on me, nothing has ever happened between him and me. You know, this conversation would be a whole lot easier if I wasn't talking to you through my t shirt."
With a sigh, I let go of his arms and quickly removed the t-shirt and used it to wipe his face. Sighing, he asked if I minded that he get freshened up before we continued the conversation.
He made his way into a room at the back of his office which I assumed was a small bathroom when I heard a tap turn on. I settled myself into his desk chair and waited for him to return, all the while trying to swallow down my jealousy.
I know I have no reason to be jealous. Ten years is a long time and I would be stupid to expect he put his life on hold and waited for me. Of course there had been others for him, just like there had been for me, I just needed to keep myself in check and not scare him off with how intense my hatred was for the others that had had the pleasure of him in my absence.
I didn't hear the tap turn off or Edward's return to the office, so when he spoke I was startled.
"You're looking a little intense there Jazz. Wanna tell me what the hell that little scene was all about?"
"Honestly? I was pissed off at him for touching you and you for letting him."
He made his way around his desk and sat on the edge of it in front of me. Feeling ashamed of my behavior, I couldn't meet his eyes so instead kept my gaze on my hands which were fisted in my lap.
"Jazz," he sighed. "Benjamin is a friend, not even that really. He's here most nights and we talk, nothing more"
"But the towel and the water?"
"I have no idea when that started, honestly. I'm grateful for it and always make sure to say thank you. Occasionally, I'll sit and have a drink with him. He's a good kid. What I don't understand, Jazz, is why I'm having to explain this to you?"
He was right, he shouldn't have to explain shit to me.
"I'm sorry Edward. I have no idea where that came from, I guess I just got scared. I've just got you back and to see someone else with his hands on you, I really can't explain it anymore than to say it's stupidity and jealousy"
Still not meeting his gaze, I heard him sigh then saw his hands reaching for mine. Taking my hands in his, he sighed again. "What are we going to do with you?"
Looking up at him through my lashes, I grinned sheepishly, "Love me?" I questioned.
With a chuckle, he pulled on my hands until I was standing. Wrapping his hands around my waist, he pulled me to him, nestled his head into my chest and whispered, "I do love you."
Taking his face in my hands, I lowered my head and brushed my lips against his gently. "I love you too Edward, more than you know."
I felt, rather than saw, his smile. His lips brushed against mine once, twice, then I felt his tongue brush my bottom lip. Our gentle kiss soon turned into something more until we were both pulling away gasping for breath.
Standing, Edward took my hand. "As much as I would love to stay here like this, I think we need to head back to my place and have that talk."
With a resigned sigh, I nodded. Walking out of his office, I could only hope we were walking towards our future, together.
A/N 2 Thanks for reading
I won't promise a quick update, but I will promise an update at some point and hopefully longer now the boys are talking again.
I will be entering a one shot into the Twilight No Stress Love Fest, when the posts go live make sure to pop on over and have a look and try and guess which one was mine. Check in with OntheTurningAway and Naelany for details.