The Patron Saint of Neglected Toys
Summary: Miss Kitty Fantastico finally gets what's coming to her!
A/N: Okay, so 'The True Face of Evil' wasn't considered a true bash fic. Here's my second attempt to answer the challenge.
Timeline: probably season 6.
Challenge: Challenge: from the forums on TtH "It may be completely against the spirit of the thread but I hereby issue the Misskittyfantastico-bash challenge!" by jrabbit.
Thanks to my betas: again, this one's unbeta'd.
Disclaimer: BtVS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. The idea for the Patron Saint comes from a character in 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail' – which belongs to the comedy group, Monty Python and its distributors: Fox Video, EMI, Roadshow and Sony Pictures. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.
Mr. Gordo sat in his corner of the bed, glaring at the interloper. Ever since the witches moved in, that darn cat had taken over the house – including his rightful place as Buffy's comfort buddy! 'Just because she was live and could purr,' he thought sneeringly. 'Isn't it more impressive to be able to help someone if you're just a stuffed toy?'
Besides, he didn't cost them money for food or kitty litter or vet bills. And he didn't get hair all over the place! He was way more low-maintenance. All they had to do to take care of him was the occasional handwashing and once a small bit of pink thread to stitch up a small hole. Plus, he wasn't a slut like she was. If it weren't for the fact that the witches had her spayed, they'd be overrun with all the bastard kittens she would have had over the past couple years. That cat was cheaper than dirt and if she was human, she probably would have all sorts of sexually-transmitted diseases.
One of these days, he was going to figure out a way to get rid of her…if he could only move or talk, that is.
Back room of Willy's bar
A month later…
Miss Kitty Fantastico was whimpering in fear with the other kitties in the basket while they watched to see which demon would be taking them home for dinner. She wasn't even sure how she ended up here. One minute she was cleaning herself on the Slayer's bed, the next minute she was in this basket. And she could have sworn that in the split second before it happened, she saw the face of the Key's stuffed bunny morph into a grotesque mockery of itself and heard it utter the words, "Wish granted."
The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog, Patron Saint of Neglected Toys, smirked as he recounted his wish to Lord D'hoffryn. His only regret was not being able to terrorize Anyanka on this visit. 'Aww,' he sighed to himself. 'Those were the good old days, back when she was a fresh, young vengeance demon.' He spent many a happy months coming up with bigger and more evil ways to torture the girl before finally Lord D'hoffryn put an end to his fun. Maybe next time he went to the Hellmouth…maybe next time.
A/N: Sure hope this one works, 'cause I'm out of ideas now.