A/N: I have a bone to pick with Ryan Murphy. WHY DID YOU DELETE THIS SCENE? Do you know how much better this episode would've been if you kept it in? Whatever. I forgive you because Quick was so awesome in the finale. I'll write this anyway.
He thinks he'll never forget.
(He doesn't know if that's a good thing or not.)
He feels guilty. That's the first emotion. He feels like he should be punished for doing this to her, if the look on her face wasn't proof enough. He feels like she should absolutely hate him for forgetting to pull out. The first thing he felt was guilt and he doesn't know if he'll ever feel like it's justified.
He thinks he must love her too much because he really can't remember the last time he cried but he's crying when the nurses usher him out of the room. He remembers touching the baby. He remembers thinking, this is mine. He remembers things like but she's not really mine, and the look on her face (absolute bliss) and for a split second he thought she'd want to keep their baby, the tiny pink creature in her arms.
But he knows she doesn't want to (he'll ask but he already knows) and he wants to scream but instead he's crying (like a little wimp).
He doesn't want to cry in front of the team. They see him as an interminably unemotional statue, and it's almost blasphemy to think he'd ever be reduced to... this. He doesn't want them to know. He doesn't want anyone to see it.
But the nurses push him out into the waiting room and the first person he sees is Finn. He had never been forgiven for impregnating her and probably never would be (but this is high school, in three years he wouldn't care [right?]) but the look on Finn's face is sympathetic. He doesn't want anyone to feel that for him.
Why sympathize (I'm a father [but not really])?
"Man..." It's as if Finn can't say another word (don't blame him) because since when did Puck cry (since when did he have emotions)?
The word is a cue for the rest of them because they all look at him and there's a lot of things there. There's pity and sympathy and surprise and even a smile or two but he can't figure out why. He doesn't know what to say. There's really nothing he could say that would make any difference. They all see it (and they all know).
He walks over to them, wants them to see he's functioning and perfectly fucking fine. Just absolutely fine and no one should look at him like that.
But he remembers the look on her face (beautiful and tired but contented) and the tiny pink creature in her arms that's his but not really his at all. And he wants to say something else but he just cries more and he hates himself almost as much as he hates everyone else for looking like that.
A few arms come to wrap around him and he doesn't know who they belong to but he can't bring himself to care. He hears a few piteous whimpers (probably Tina, the fucking romantic that she is) and Finn's hand pats his back (sympathetically, comfortingly) and he wants to stop crying so much.
"How is she?" It's Mr. Schu's voice, close to his ear and warm and just everything he's never wanted to hear and so much more.
"Beautiful." It's all he can think to say but it's the truth and he feels it must be the truest truth he's ever said. "Both of them."
No one says anything else (there's nothing to say) but the arms are still there and the quiet sobs are still present and for a moment he feels like he shouldn't feel ashamed at all.
(Puck has feelings, Puck can cry, Puck loves Quinn Fabray and the child in her arms that doesn't belong to them.)