SM OWNS ALL RIGHTS but I own my own twisted imagination, I think…
One day a year, I let myself think about the past. Some years there is hurt, some pain, and fewer still I remembered the happy times we spent together. Some years I allowed myself to think about the family I lost and the family I left because I couldn't explain things anymore.
This year I was blessed with all of the above and I was in bad shape.
I try to keep everything bottled up and locked away, I try to keep a brave face on for Nessie. Was that healthy? No, probably not, but I couldn't function any other way. If I allowed myself to think about it even for a moment I lost every ability I had to function and that wasn't good for anyone.
Did Nessie notice I was broken? I wouldn't doubt it, she was very observant and intelligent, but we never talked about it. Even when she came to me in the middle of the night to wake me up from my nightmares, to stop the screaming and crying. She would just climb into my bed with me and wrap her little arms around me and just hold me while I cried. She never asked questions and for that I was thankful. I wasn't ready to give her the answers to those questions she never asked.
Nessie has become my only reason for living anymore. For the last five years and seven months, she has been the only reason I get up and face each and every day and she is the only reason I am still alive. Both literally and mentally. She is the one and only thing I am thankful for in my life, and the only thing I have that proves that he was even real. She is living, breathing, beautiful, physical proof that he even existed outside of my mind.
A/N So should I continue? This is an idea that is bugging the shit out of me and if there is enough interest I will continue. I have a couple chapters written already so please take a second and let me know what your thoughts are!