I'm a little nervous, as this is my first attempt at Star Trek and I'm a mediocre writer at best. I hope I got their characters right. Enjoy!
Diclaimer: Yeah... so not mine. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go off and cry myself to sleep over this little detail.
"... Bones! Just the man I was looking for!" the out-of-breath Captain said, running into the country doctor's personal office. The blonde was moving so swiftly, that the automatic doors didn't open fast enough for him and his shoulder brushed against it.
Bones looked up from his desk, startled, having been in the process of filling out some reports. He gave his friend a welcoming scowl.
"What the hell do you want now?" he grumped, dropping the stylus he'd been using and sitting back into his chair. His eyes swept over the blonde man, as Jim went over to his desk and placed both hands on it so he could bend over and catch his breath. Jim's cheeks were lightly flushed pink, and when he looked up to grin at the doctor, Bones saw a strange light lurking beneath the azure orbs.
A faint tendril of apprehension curled around Bones' spine and he narrowed his eyes suspiciously. He tensed, waiting for what would come out of Jim's mouth.
"How do you get a Vulcan to notice you're totally into him?" Jim breathed out in one long breath, getting straight to the point.
Bones stared at him for one solid minute in complete silence. When he finally spoke up, his voice was laced with pure sincerity.
"Leave this place, and never come back."
Jim chuckled, before shaking his head and running his fingers through his golden strands of hair.
"Thanks, Bones. I love you, too. Seriously, though. Is there some kind of Vulcan ritual I'm missing out on? Because I've done everything I can think of to get Spock to notice me, ya know? I mean, really notice me, not just as his Captain,"
Jim squirmed under his friend's glare, impatient and desperate for advice. He was seriously at his wit's end, and he needed advice.
Irritating Bones was an added bonus.
"As much as I'd rather go to the nearest airlock and throw myself out of it than give you 'Wooing Tips for the Emotionless Vulcan 101', I'd think I'd better listen. Faster I help, the faster you can get the hell out of my face," Bones huffed. Jim smiled.
"You're awesome," he said seriously. Bones rolled his eyes and motioned at one of the vacant chairs next to Jim.
"Have a seat, will ya?" He insisted.
With an ungraceful plop, Jim fell heavily into a chair. He looked back at Bones with a sheepish grin.
"So? Help?" he reminded. Bones glared at him.
"What... oh damn I am gonna regret this later... When you say you've been doing all you can to get the hobgoblin to notice you, what did you mean?"
"Let's see," He held up his right hand, and with his left hand began counting the fingers on his right to list all he had done. "I've played multiple chess games with him, flirted a little, ate with him at every available meal, flirted some then too, I've volunteered some of my personal time to help him with his science projects, might have interjected some blatant innuendo in that department, compliment him as much as possible on his intellect and his Vulcan-ness, Oh! And we've hung out more often then not, and I've always asked him to relax and join me for movies and other recreational activities." Jim paused. "Did I mentioned I flirt with him, too?"
"When the hell did you do all that?" he demanded.
Jim gave him an 'are you serious?' look.
"I've been after Spock for almost four months now," Jim spoke slowly, as if talking to a particularly difficult child. "I think your dislike of my First Officer has caused your subconscious to block out all things not medically pertaining to him. Ergo, whenever you saw us together or me trying to get his attention, you blocked it out and it didn't register in your brain..."
Jim's musings trailed off uncertainly as he caught sight of Bones' gaping mouth. The young Captain fidgeted in his chair, mystified at his friend's reaction.
Was it something he said?
"What?" Jim questioned, feeling slightly self-conscious. (Though he's never admit that. James T. Kirk doesn't do self-conscious. Ever.)
"Four months?" Bones gaped. "You mean to tell me that James Kirk has been mooning after a damn Vulcan for four straight months? And you haven't given up and pursued after someone else? You know... someone who isn't an emotionless hobgoblin?"
"You don't give me enough credit," he said smugly. "You know I don't believe in no-win scenarios, and I love a good challenge. And trust me," Jim added with a wink. "Spock is the ultimate challenge. I bet as soon as I get him into bed-"
"Don't you dare go there," Bones raged, and Jim laughed. "I don't need to hear that crap. If you want my advice, than shut that hole in your face, get it? Got it? Good,"
Still chuckling with mirth at Bones' reaction, Jim held both his hands up in a surrendering fashion to show he'd behave himself. Bones let out a heartfelt sigh. He was getting too old for this, he really was.
"Have you ever tried letting Spock pursue you?" Bones asked, his face contorted in discomfort.
Jim blinked, confused.
"What're you talking about?" he asked. Bones shook his head. He could practically feel his strands of hair turning gray.
"Well... you have been consistently showing Spock your intentions to... start a relationship," Here, Bones paused and glanced at Jim to make sure that was what Jim was after. Because if he was only looking for a one night stand, it wasn't going to work...
Jim nodded to show Bones he was correct, and the doctor continued.
"... and Spock-for all his annoying habits and just everything in general-is intelligent. Even if he may not know all the human methods of courting, chances are high he knows your intentions. Why don't you ease off your attempts and let him work for it? To come after you?"
Jim was silent for a moment, silent thoughts forming in his head. A slow grin graced his lips.
"Are you telling me to play hard to get, doctor?"
"Duh," he grunted. "It makes sense when you actually think about it,"
At Jim's blank look, he elaborated.
"Historically, the Vulcan species were a warrior race. Many males had to consistently pursue a potential mate, going as far as to fight any rivals for the mate's favor. Sometimes the fight went to the death, even. I'm willing to bet that even under all those layers of logic, a hint of warrior is still in Spock's genes. If Spock... for some reason, felt that he was... 'losing' you, he'd try to pursue you in order to win back your affections."
By the time he was finished with his monologue, Bones was looking decidedly ill. Jim, on the other hand, was positively glowing.
"You are the bestest. Friend. Ever," he declared, leaping to his feet with renewed vigor. "I'm going to pretend to not be interested in Spock anymore." A dark grin spread across his face and Bones groaned. "I can't wait to see what he does!"
Before Bones could claim a protest, Jim reached over across the desk haphazardly, reached out his arm and ruffled Bones' dark brown hair playfully.
"Thanks, Bones! I owe you one," Jim said affectionately, before pulling away and bolting out of his office.
Bones was left sitting alone at his desk, his eyes in a daze.
"Damnit, I need a drink," he muttered, before getting to his feet to do just that.
This was just a short intro to get the story rolling. Next chapter will be much longer, and the actual 'Jim-avoiding-Spock' fiasco. Following that will be a short epilogue to wrap up the over all story.
... yes. I hope my writing was up to par, and it's my first story so... well. Anywho, hope I got their characters right so far. Feedback is always welcome.
See you guys next chapter! ^_^