A/N: Well, here it is! Everyone seemed interested in the prank Harry was planning, so please, enjoy the epilogue!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or anything to do with the books or films. If I did, Severus, Remus and Voldemort wouldn't be dead, and Ron would have died some painful death somewhere in book five.
"Hermione, what the hell are you wearing?" Harry asked, a look of shock upon his face. He had been waiting for Hermione to come down from her dorm for half an hour now. He almost wished she hadn't. "Are you wearing make up?" He asked accusingly.
"No!" She lied and blushed.
"You are." He teased. "However, you still didn't answer my earlier question, what the hell are you wearing?" He repeated, scrunching up his nose in disapproval.
"I'm wearing a feminine top." Hermione insisted.
"Hermione. It's a t-shirt that has S.P.E.W, and 'House Elf Equality' written on it." Harry pointed out blankly.
"It's a feminine top, that just so happens to have the name of my organization written on it." She shrugged nonchalantly.
"I know you were threatening to have one made, but who the hell would find your demands so irresistible…" Harry trailed off, and sighed. "Sev." He said blankly, realization hitting him like a ton of bricks.
"What about him?" Hermione asked, glad everybody else was either still asleep, or had gone down to breakfast.
"Did he get you that?" Harry pressed.
"Might have done." She whistled innocently.
"You did the look on him." Harry sighed knowingly.
"I don't have a 'look'." She huffed, even though she knew she did, and used it regularly.
"Look, I'm your best friend, and I refuse to go down to breakfast with you wearing that." He said firmly.
"Tough." She retorted stubbornly, and so began the staring contest.
Harry looked deeply into her chocolate brown eyes, and he could see for himself, there was no way she was going to give in.
Hermione stared deeply into Harry's emerald green eyes, and she could see the exasperation and wavering attitude swimming there. She was about to win…
"Fine. Let's just go." Harry relented.
"I just want to get my posters!" She called out over her shoulder, already half way up the stairs.
"I'm going to kill Tom for giving her hope for S.P.E.W." Harry seethed, and crossed his arms petulantly.
He tapped his foot, and started humming 'My Way' to pass the time. It was his favorite song, now. It always made him laugh when he thought about how ironic the lyrics seemed at the time.
Five minutes later, Hermione came back down the stairs, her satchel flung over her shoulder.
"Are we going then?" She said, she said impatiently. What did she have to be impatient about?
Harry just sighed, and they began to make their way down to the Great Hall.
"Wait up!" Ron screamed after them, and eventually caught up, Ginny behind him.
Harry rolled his eyes. "Good morning." He growled.
"He's grumpy today." Hermione pointed out.
"Aren't you doing your… thing today?" Ginny asked quietly. Hermione immediately threw up a silencing charm around them.
"Yeah, this afternoon. Tom is sending the ingredients this morning, which is why we need to go now." Harry said quickly, and the four of them hurried down to the Great Hall.
Immediately, as they went through the doors, all eyes were on Hermione.
"What is she wearing?" One Ravenclaw whispered.
Thankfully, the rest of the students and staff were too engrossed in her t-shirt to notice she and Severus were looking at each other, a shy smile on Hermione's face, and a fond quality to Severus's obsidian eyes.
Harry threw his hands up in the air, waved at Draco and the Slytherins, who all immediately waved back, much to his satisfaction.
"Why did the Slytherins wave back?" Came the whispers from the other three house tables. Harry smirked. He liked causing gossip.
Dumbledore smiled at him, and waved enthusiastically when he sat down. Harry suppressed an annoyed growl, and waved back.
Eventually, the four of them sat at the end of the Gryffindor table. Ron stuffed his plate to the rafters, while Harry and Ginny maintained respectable portions. Hermione took a little, and was merely picking at her food.
She stole another glance at Severus.
Harry just rolled his eyes again. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately.
Three minutes passed, and now it was Severus's turn to stare.
Another two minutes and Ron had finished his plate, and refilled it completely.
Another minute, and Hermione was staring. Harry had to say something.
"Hermione, you're being really obvious." He said blankly.
"I'm not." She huffed, and went back to picking at her food.
"There'll be rumors soon if you keep it up." Harry advised her.
"You mean like the rumors about you?" Hermione reminded him, and smiled sweetly.
Rumors. There were plenty of those.
Harry had to think back to what had happened. It had been a month since they had left that room, the game, the prison. Life had gone pretty much back to normal, with a few exceptions. Severus was no longer spying, and was in the process of taking over DADA. Horace Slughorn was coming in to replace him as Potions Professor.
Dumbledore was watching Harry more closely than he ever had done before, and was slightly suspicious of Harry, especially since the five of them had denounced the war completely.
In that short month, things had changed in the wizarding world. There were no more attacks on muggles, or muggle-borns.
Harry's nagging had paid off.
Harry looked up to where the owls normally flew in. He was waiting for that very, very important letter, and even more important package, hence the reason for him being very grumpy and impatient, like he'd told the others.
"Ginny, Malfoy just gave me this to give you." Neville Longbottom passed her a note, and looked decidedly confused.
"Thanks Neville!" Ginny beamed, and started reading the note.
"Will anyone ever tell me what is going on with the Slytherins?" Neville suddenly asked.
"I don't know what's going on, I don't even know why they wave back to me every morning. I only do it to annoy them." Harry lied.
"Why are they being nice to you?" He asked suspiciously.
"I don't know." Harry lied again. He had guessed, of course, and had asked Voldemort about it, now he was just waiting his answer. Neville gave them another suspicious look, and realizing he wasn't wanted, or needed, he sloped off to the other end of the table.
"Awww, Draco is so sweet." Ginny sighed.
Ron mumbled something, and continued stuffing his face full of bacon.
"Honestly Ron, you're like a pig." Hermione chastised.
Ron nearly said, "Better a pig than a bat," But he decided against it, he was still trying to 'win back' Hermione… despite her never being his in the first place.
"Hermione, you're doing it again." Harry moaned when it caught her looking at the staff table. "Rumors!" He reminded her… again.
"Well, we're already the subject of school gossip." She sighed. "Especially you, everyone thinks you've joined Voldemort."
"Well, I haven't." Harry snapped defensively.
"We know that, they don't." Ginny piped up.
Suddenly, the sound of flapping wings and hooting filled the Great Hall, and Harry grinned eagerly. A huge, magnificent looking eagle flew gracefully onto the Gryffindor table, a package, and a letter attached to it's leg.
"Thank you." Harry said softly, giving it a stroke. "Come back tonight, and you can take a letter back." The eagle stayed for a moment, enjoying the attention it was getting as everyone gawped at it, and then flew away.
"Two guesses who that's from." Ron mumbled, putting three more sausages onto his plate. Harry snorted, and opened the letter.
Here are the potions ingredients you wanted, and no, as promised, I didn't kill anybody to get them. They are banned in Hogwarts for a reason, and are difficult to procure. However, I don't mind going to the extra effort considering what use you are putting them too.
How is the old goat? Is he still watching you like a hawk? I'll assume he is still upset at the loss of his weapon. I doubt he expected the puppet to reach up and cut the strings.
In answer to your other question, yes I did threaten the Death Eaters. I may be your best friend, but I'm still the Dark Lord, and I'd rather not have my followers mutilating you. And no, I won't stop torturing them either. I'm not attacking muggles, or muggle borns anymore, so you can't take away my only fun!
Speaking of muggle-borns, how is Hermione? Campaigning for rights for house-elves I hope. I, of course, endorse her all the way, make sure she campaigns hard.
Write back soon and tell me how the prank goes, I'll be most interested to hear the results.
Your best friend,
P.S: If Dumbledore, or anybody else tries to read this letter, it'll seem like a love note from a girlfriend, and the package will look like chocolates. How kind am I? I've given you the social life you so desperately needed.
"Bastard." Harry laughed, and Dumbledore was moving towards him at great speed.
"Harry, my boy, you don't mind if I read that, do you? Eagle post is so very rare." He smiled kindly, and didn't even wait for Harry's response. He just plucked the letter out of his hand.
Dumbledore cleared his throat and started reading the note out loud. "Harry, my love, I can't wait to see you again, I especially enjoyed our last meeting in Hogsmeade, that thing you did with your…" Dumbledore turned bright red, and thrust the letter back into Harry's hand. "Well, that's quite enough of an invasion of your privacy. I must apologize Harry."
"That's not a problem, Headmaster." Harry beamed. "Are we still on for tea this afternoon?"
"Oh yes, of course." Dumbledore smiled, still blushing furiously. "I'll see you this afternoon then." He declared, and then scuttled back to the staff table, facing Minerva's wrath for bothering him… again.
Harry sniggered under his breath. He gathered the package up in his arms, and moved to the exit. He caught Severus's eye, and gave him the signal. Harry quickly left, and waited in a little alcove.
Five minutes later, Severus came strolling out, and quickly met Harry.
"You have the ingredients then?" He questioned.
"Of course." Harry grinned. "Tom wouldn't let me down." He opened the package, and gave each of the wrapped ingredients to Severus, who already had a satchel secreted under his robes.
"Come down to my office at lunch time," Severus said after a moment. "It should be ready by then."
"Thanks Sev," Harry smiled. "You're an awesome friend."
"Obviously." Severus drawled, trying to hide a smile.
"Oh, and Hermione said she'll be down before curfew." Harry said, only just remembering.
Severus couldn't hide the smile anymore, and quickly stalked away.
"Five points from Ravenclaw for loitering!" He heard Severus snap a few seconds later. Some things never change.
Harry was waiting outside of the gargoyle leading up to Dumbledore's office.
'Go in, have tea, drug the drops.' Harry repeated this over and over again in his mind, an unending mantra reminding him what to do.
"Harry, come up." Harry snapped out of his thoughts, and found that the gargoyle was gone.
He nervously ascended the stairs, and knocked on the door. It opened for him, and he stepped inside.
"Harry, my boy!" Dumbledore declared on seeing him, and rushed over.
"Headmaster." Harry said respectfully, trying to dodge the hug Dumbledore was trying to give him. What the hell was the old goat playing at?
Dumbledore ignored the fact Harry was trying to get out of the hug, and squeezed him tighter.
Harry coughed, and Dumbledore let him go. "Sit down, sit down." He insisted.
He reminded Harry of a creepy uncle. Dumbledore was up to something.
Harry tentatively sat down, fingering the potion bottle in his pocket.
"Now, I know we said tea, but I always preferred a little hot chocolate." Dumbledore said with that annoying twinkle in his eye.
"Hot chocolate would be lovely, thanks." Harry lied, and Dumbledore summoned the drinks.
"Now, there's something very important I want to talk to you about today, Harry." Dumbledore said seriously, while pouring two cups of the hot chocolate.
"Oh yes?" Harry asked, he had a feeling he knew where this was going.
"You know, I care about you very, very much. You are like a grandchild to me." Dumbledore said fondly.
'Emotional blackmail then.' Harry suppressed a chuckle.
"Now, I know the war can be a very scary place." He continued patronizingly. "But we need you to continue the fight against the Dark." He said sadly. "You wouldn't want Voldemort to hurt more families, like he robbed you of your mother and father, would you?"
'Massive emotional blackmail. How manipulative.' Harry thought.
"We suspect that due the Voldemort having ceased his attacks on muggles, and muggle-borns, he is planning something very big, and no doubt devastating." Dumbledore finished, and tried to gauge Harry's reaction.
"God, I didn't think about it like that." Harry said dramatically. "I'll have to think about it." He mumbled, and pretended to drink some of the hot chocolate. No doubt Dumbledore would have drugged it with Veritaserum.
"Professor, I was wondering if you could tell me what that instrument over there is for." Harry inquired, pointing to something silver, and whirring.
"Oh that! Well, I acquired that in…." Harry completely tuned the old goat out, annoyed that he didn't turn away.
How could he get the potion into the drops now?
"-of course, the butter beer wasn't actually poisoned, I would never do such a thing." Dumbledore finished, and snapped Harry away from his thoughts.
"Of course not, that seems more like a thing Professor Snape would do." Harry said quickly, after all, he had to keep up appearances.
"Now now, Harry, I know you don't like him." Dumbledore lightly chastised, keeping the twinkle in his eye. How annoying.
"Professor, I was wondering whether you had any books on…" Harry trailed off, trying to think of an unusual subject matter. "Using dragon bone as a substitute for wood in wand making." Harry lied.
Dumbledore looked surprised. "Are you thinking of studying wandlore, Harry?" He asked, with a sort of bemused smirk on his face.
"I find it absolutely fascinating." Harry lied, again. He seemed to be lying a lot lately. Maybe Voldemort was a bad influence. "I was just thinking about the magical properties of the bone, and how they could be used instead of wood." Harry shrugged like it was nothing.
"I have nothing quite so specific, however I do have a book on unusual wand materials, successes and failures." Dumbledore said thoughtfully. "Let me get it for you." He smiled fondly, and went into another section of his office.
Harry had to act fast. Quickly, he removed the potion bottle from his pocket, and poured it all over the tray of lemon drops on his desk. He muttered a quick binding and concealing spell, a powerful one Voldemort had taught him, and then relaxed.
"Yes, well, seems I have quite a few books on wandlore!" Dumbledore announced happily, coming back into view with four large books in his arms.. "I always found it such an interesting subject, and not one many students choose to follow." He said proudly as the put the four books on Harry's lap, before going to sit back down in his seat.
Harry had to seem at least a little interested, after all, he had asked Dumbledore for a book. It was going to look extremely suspicious if he wanted to leave straight away.
"Did you study wandlore, Professor?"
"Oh!" Dumbledore smiled, happy Harry seemed to want to talk to him. Obviously, it was nothing personal that Harry had left the war, he was most likely just afraid. That was something he could fix. "Only in my spare time. In fact I recall a situation when I was at school…"
A Boring Twenty Minutes Later
"-Ash! Ash! Would you believe it? I couldn't stand the thought of such a wizard with an ash wand, I said so at the time, and of course, Ollivander agreed with me wholeheartedly and we continued to argue with the ignorant wandmaker…"
A Sleep Inducing Ten Minutes Later
"-so he argues with me! I merely inquired as to why he used such low quality wood for his wand. "Brittle!" He says! "Rotten." I say." Dumbledore continued.
"This man sounds like a terrible loser." Harry sighed, trying not to yawn. "What is your opinion on Dragon Fang as a wand core?" He asked, bracing himself for another terribly boring conversation.
"Dragon Fang! Marvelous…"
A Regret-Filled Thirty Minutes Later
"-I don't think I'll have truly know why more wandmakers don't use Dragon Fang. Some of the best wands had that as their core. In fact, I remember one student…"
A Mind-Meltingly Boring Twenty Minutes Later
"And that's why I believe Thestral hair leads to more powerful defensive spells, rather than the common misconception of offensive spells." Dumbledore finished with dramatic flair.
Harry stared absently at a clock on the wall, his brain had turned to complete slop, and he could only just register that one hour and twenty minutes had passed. There was another hour until dinner yet.
"Harry, I haven't bored you, have I?" Dumbledore asked tentatively.
"Oh no!" Harry said quickly. "In fact, you've been absolutely enthralling." Harry said with a sarcasm that Dumbledore just couldn't detect. "I do have one final question though." Harry continued.
"Name it, my boy, name it."
"I wondered whether anybody had ever tried to create liquid cores?" Harry tried not to yawn at his own question… this was beyond boring.
"Liquid cores!" Dumbledore said, obviously delighted. "A very highly debated subject." He said seriously. "Now, Ollivander and I were discussing this just a month ago. It all started when a very clever man decided…"
An Excruciating Ten Minutes Later
"-the theory of liquid wand cores has been around for a very long time, you understand. It's not a new concept. I believe they have done extensive experiments over in America? But, as the story I told you it was that one very, very clever man…"
A Hate-Filled Five Minutes Later
"-of course the very idea is simply barbaric! I refused to listen to him, and promptly avoided several unforgivable curses, and certainly more than a couple of purely illegal ones…."
Five Minutes Of Mourning For His Brain Function Later
"I mean, what the man suggested! To have a poison at the core of a wand, to have a wand imbued with such a dangerous and hateful substance… I believe the wand would refuse to perform defensive, or healing spells. Ollivander had experimented with power enhancing potions previously…" Dumbledore took a deep breath.
Harry just nodded and prayed the next forty minutes would be over soon.
A 'I'd Rather Be Tortured by Bellabitch Then Listen To More' Twenty Minutes Later
"-I think that perhaps, dragons blood may work as a liquid core. If properly prepared. Certainly not unicorn blood. Indeed, I've debated this with some of the darker wizards I knew in my youth. Of course you know all about Unicorn blood." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled knowingly, and Harry gave him a polite nod.
"Yes, I do remember that." Harry finally managed to say, trying desperately to keep the exasperation out of his tone.
"You know, you've just given me the most marvelous idea. Perhaps a wand with a healing potion for a liquid core, would improve healing spells? In fact, I can think of more than one occasion…"
An Arse Numbing Ten Minutes Later
"- and the student even had the audacity to challenge me on the fact his wand was an illegal one! Preposterous!" Dumbledore raged, muttering curses under his breath. "Wands made from petrified, or dead wood are absolutely banned from this school! Of course in Durmstrang…."
Harry just nodded and smiled. He'd given up on trying to follow what Dumbledore was saying… actually, Harry couldn't even remember how long he'd been here in his office. All Harry knew was that his arse was numb, and Dumbledore hadn't eaten a Lemon Drop yet.
The Most Boring Ten Minutes of His Life Later
"-simply abhorrent." Dumbledore shook his head, and then smiled fondly. "It's been absolutely brilliant talking to you, Harry, I had no idea you had such a keen interest in wandlore. Perhaps we could schedule lessons for you…" He trailed off, deep in thought. "Ollivander would be thrilled to learn that Harry Potter wanted to go into wandmaking!" He declared.
"Yes. That would be lovely." Harry said blankly. His brain had abandoned him some where between Dragon Fang and Thestral hair.
Dumbledore glanced at the clock. "Goodness gracious, we've been here for a long time!" He gasped dramatically.
"I don't mind. I enjoyed myself." Harry said without emotion, his brain not quite recovering yet.
"Well, might I suggest we go down to dinner?" Dumbledore said encouragingly.
Dumbledore smiled again, and reached out for his Lemon Drop tray. Harry's senses immediately picked up, and Dumbledore slipped some of the Lemon Drops into a small paper bag, which he put in his pocket.
"For later." He smiled fondly.
Harry nearly groaned in disappointment.
Before Harry could do anything else, Dumbledore had called for a house elf. "Please take these books," He took the books from Harry, and gave them to the house elf, who seemed to possess unlimited strength. "to Harry's dorm." He commanded. The house elf bowed, and there was a loud crack, before the creature was gone.
"Best you don't tell Miss. Granger about that." Dumbledore winked again. "She's become… very active in her goal recently." He noted, slight suspicion lacing his tone.
"Yes, well. I think someone has been encouraging her." Harry said disapprovingly. Well, it was half a truth!
"I see." Dumbledore said cryptically. "Shall we leave?" He asked, immediately brightening up.
Harry moved towards the door, opened it, and descended the steps. He waited respectfully for Dumbledore to join him.
When he did, the two men began to venture to the Great Hall.
"I know we discussed Dragon Fang…" Dumbledore started.
'Oh God, here we go.' Harry thought. 'I don't think I can stand talking about wands anymore.' He tried not to outwardly cringe.
"Have you considered Dragon Claw?" Dumbledore asked seriously.
"No, I hadn't." Harry said honestly. Probably the first fully honest thing he'd said to Dumbledore all day. "Actually, I wanted to ask you something else." Harry lied, there was no way he was going to continue talking about wands.
Harry's mind went blank. Just when he needed it. "Errr… It's kind of embarrassing." Harry was desperately trying to think of something to say now, as both he and Dumbledore deftly dodged the trick step on the staircases.
"Harry, I know you're scared of Voldemort," He started.
'How wrong you are." Harry thought and tried not to laugh.
"But, we need you in the war." Dumbledore said sadly. "If there was another way…" He trailed off, sighing.
'There is another way, you can face up to Voldemort like a man instead of the old goat you are.' Harry inwardly seethed. 'Stop sending someone else to do your bloody work.'
"After you." Harry snapped out of this thoughts, and saw Dumbledore was holding the door open for him.
"Thanks." He muttered, and entered the Great Hall.
He immediately saw Severus, who was looking at him. Harry rolled his eyes, and Severus realized Dumbledore hadn't had a Lemon Drop yet. Well, that would have to be rectified.
Harry waved at the Slytherins again, delighting in the way nearly every single one of them waved back, and the other houses started whispering.
"Harry," Hermione hissed when he sat down next to her.
"Hermione." Harry acknowledged, before pulling some food towards him.
"You know everybody gossips when you do that." She said, exasperation clear in her tone.
"That's why I do it." Harry grinned. "Ron, how was…" Harry trailed off, realizing his friend wouldn't answer him.
Ron had already eaten half of his dinner, without even taking a sip of pumpkin juice.
"Where's Ginny?" Harry asked, taking a sip of his drink.
"Ill, in bed." Hermione sighed, and they continued eating. "You were with Dumbledore for hours, what happened?" Hermione questioned, trying to keep her eyes firmly on Harry, and definitely not on a certain potions master.
"We were talking about wandlore." Harry said blankly, the mere memory of their 'discussion' bring back a numb feeling to his arse, and a uncomfortable lack of brain function.
"I like to know everything…" Hermione began. "But, I don't think I could spend two hours listening to him talking about wandlore." Hermione cringed.
"You might be a know-it-all, but you're an amazing know-it-all." Ron sighed.
He'd not given up on winning Hermione round yet.
Harry was a little too preoccupied with how he was going to get Dumbledore to eat a Lemon Drop to notice anything else.
Dumbledore ate them when he was stressed, when he was bored, and sometimes just random times.
So, Harry had to make him stressed. 'How the hell am I going to do that?' Harry thought bitterly.
Unbeknownst to him, Severus was thinking the same thing.
"I must say, Severus, you've brightened up considerably over the last month." Minerva said knowingly.
Severus ignored her, and tried to look decidedly more grumpy.
"Are you ignoring me?" Minerva asked accusingly.
"No, I'm ignoring the prying witch in green that keeps insisting on sitting next to me. I don't have the faintest idea who you are." Severus drawled sarcastically, leading to some sniggers from the rest of the staff.
Minerva huffed, and went back to talking to Dumbledore.
"Minerva, did you know that Harry has an intense interest in wandlore?" Dumbledore enthused.
Severus watched on as Minerva's eyes glazed over, and she began to nod politely.
'Ok, well here goes nothing.' Harry thought inwardly, and approached the staff table.
"Harry, my boy, is there something else I can do for you?" Dumbledore asked happily, as he saw Harry approach his chair. "I was just telling Minerva what a keen interest in wandlore you have!"
"I had no idea, Mr. Potter." Minerva said, with the same sort of bemused smirk Dumbledore had worn hours before.
"Really, it's my passion." Harry lied.
"Has Albus offered you lessons yet?" She asked teasingly.
"Oh yes. I can't wait to start them." Harry lied again. Voldemort was definitely a bad influence.
"See, all this leaving the war business is just a phase. It seems to be going round the school." Dumbledore said very loudly, and very accusingly. Obviously directed at Severus.
Severus grumbled under his breath.
Harry drew a blank. Why did he even come up here?
"Mr. Potter, might I suggest you carry on speaking?" Severus drawled, keeping up appearances.
"Oh yeah, sorry Professor Snape." Harry quickly amended. "Actually, I wanted to ask Professor Dumbledore whether he knew why… the Slytherins keep waving at me." Harry finished. This wasn't going anywhere useful, and he was already regretting it.
"Perhaps they've finally lost their minds." Severus snorted.
"I'm afraid I don't Harry." Dumbledore said apologetically.
"Can I have a Lemon Drop?" Harry blurted out. Of course he wouldn't eat it, but maybe it would plant the idea in Dumbledore's head?
"I had no idea you liked them!" Dumbledore smiled. That man smiled far, far too much.
Harry came round the table, and passing the other teachers, and held out his hand. Dumbledore annoying smiled at him again before handing him a Lemon Drop.
"Thank you." Harry forced a smile, and Dumbledore began talking to Professor Sprout, who was on his other side.
Harry brushed passed Severus, and in the lowest voice possible declared. "I'm going to pretend to faint."
Severus sighed, although he had to admit, Dumbledore would probably be pretty flustered if his golden boy were to faint.
So, Harry went back to his seat, and threw the Lemon Drop away when he was sure Dumbledore wasn't watching.
"How did it go?" Hermione whispered.
Harry threw up silencing charms around them.
"I'm going to pretend to faint, so, look concerned." He hissed, and before Hermione could say anything, he took the charms down.
Harry stood up dramatically.
"I don't feel so good." He moaned loudly, and promptly crashed to the floor.
Dumbledore, Minerva, Severus and most of the staff immediately rushed to his side.
'The boy deserves a medal.' Severus thought inwardly at how pale Harry had gone.
Draco and some of the other Slytherins had also immediately come to where Harry was lying on the floor, trying his hardest not to laugh.
"What's wrong with him?" Draco demanded.
"Mr. Malfoy, go back to your table." Minerva snapped. "Everybody move back, give him some room!" She bellowed, and everybody but the staff took a step back.
"Harry, my boy, wake up." Dumbledore said gently patting his cheek.
Nobody was watching as Severus slipped something into the goblet of pumpkin juice that was sat next to the plate with the most food.
Harry decided that the time was enough, and groggily opened his eyes.
The first thing he saw was Severus leaning over him, after Dumbledore had asked him to check him over.
"If this is heaven, God has a really bad taste in men." He sneered, and suppressed a snigger at Severus's exasperated face.
Hermione had to bite her lip.
"Welcome back, Harry." Dumbledore said relieved. "Now, I think you should go to the hospital wing." He said gravely.
"Oh no, sir, I'm fine. It was Ron, he got me with one of his brothers products." He threw a pointed look at a confused looking Ron.
"Yes, I did." Ron quickly caught on.
"And you worried us all like that! Detention with me tomorrow afternoon." Minerva snapped.
Ron scowled, and went back to his food. The event over, everybody went back to their normal places, and Harry's eyes wandered over to Dumbledore, who still looked as happy as he ever did. The bastard.
Suddenly, all hell broke lose.
Ron sipped his drink, and was promptly turned into… a ginger weasel.
The whole Great Hall broke out into laughter, and Severus looked gleeful.
"Oh my word…" Hermione breathed through laughter. Nobody seemed to be keen to want to help Ron.
Eventually, Professor McGonagall came over, and transfigured him back into a normal human. Well, as normal as you can get being Ronald Weasley. McGonagall huffed, and merely went back to her seat without one word spoken.
"Is nobody going to find out who the hell did that to me?" Ron said furiously, glaring at the Slytherins, who were still laughing their heads off.
"Nope." Harry grinned, although he had a fairly good idea.
Then, the moment Harry had been waiting for finally came. Dumbledore sighed, took a sip from his goblet, and popped a Lemon Drop into his mouth.
He suckled on it happily for a few moments, before his eyes went wide…
Severus was proud of himself. Nobody seemed to be bothered that a student had just been turned into a weasel, and nobody really cared who did it. Just when he thought his day was going pretty well, he looked to where Dumbledore was, and saw the man sucking on a Lemon Drop, eyes wide.
"I'm leaving." Dumbledore said hurriedly, and stood up. A wet patch on his robes. Incontinence potions are always fun….
"Albus, what's happened?" McGonagall hissed, pushing the Headmaster back into his chair.
"Incontinence potion, I'm sure." He mumbled, going red. "In the drink, in the goblet, like Mr. Weasley."
McGonagall burst out into sheer hysterical laughter.
"Minerva, control yourself, what if all the goblets are poisoned?" Dumbledore pleaded trying to ignore the increasing damp.
"I'm sorry… Albus…"
Severus was trying not to laugh as the rest of the staff craned their necks to see what was happening.
Severus could be really evil when he wanted to be; which was often. So, he wandlessly and wordlessly cast an amplification charm on Dumbledore.
"Incontinence potions are no laughing matter!" Dumbledore insisted, and the whole of Scotland could probably hear him.
Every student gasped and looked at their Headmaster.
"I'll do the reversal charm." McGonagall quickly said, it wasn't as funny now the whole school was laughing.
She muttered something under her breath, and Dumbledore turned into a goat.
You see, incontinence potions are always fun… but when you have illegal ingredients from the Dark Lord… and you add a little something extra so when somebody tries to reverse it, the affected person turns into a goat… well, then it's just pure entertainment.
"What's happened?" McGonagall shrieked at the white haired goat now sitting where Dumbledore had been moments before.
"Somebody do something!" One of the Ravenclaws called out.
McGonagall just stood there, gaping at the furious expression on the goats face.
Nobody could help it, everybody, the Slytherins, the Hufflepuffs, the Gryffindors, the Ravenclaws and every single member of staff laughed.
Nobody could stop, and they sure as hell weren't interested in turning the old goat back!
"I'll get the students back to their dorms." Severus growled, trying to feign annoyance.
"I'll…" McGonagall was still laughing. "Stay with Albus…" She finally breathed, and the goat made a grunting noise at her.
Professor Sprout, and Professor Flitwick quickly went to their house tables, warning everyone not to drink anything. For all they knew, someone could have poisoned the pumpkin juice.
The Gryffindors, bar Hermione and Harry all thundered towards the door, being the pushy people they usually were. The Slytherins presumed Severus would be staying as well, and in a more dignified way than the Gryffindors, made their way to the door.
Severus stalked over to Harry and Hermione.
"Mr. Potter! Detention for lingering! Outside right now. You too, Miss. Granger." He snapped, making sure to speak loud enough for McGonagall to hear.
"Yes, sir." They both drawled, and went outside.
When they were sure they were alone, the three of them laughed.
"That was good, Sev." Harry grinned.
"Hmmm, yes." Hermione smiled.
"At least the beauty of his inside, is now reflected outside." Severus smirked.
Harry laughed again. "This makes having to listen to him waffle on about wandlore for two hours completely worth it."
"I pity you for having to go through that." Severus said honestly.
"Come on, we should go hide away somewhere while McGonagall tries to reverse it." Harry sighed, and then they started to walk away.
Suddenly, Harry stopped dead in his tracks. "That reminds me," He started suspiciously. "Did you turn Ron into a Weasel?"
"How dare you accuse me of such a thing." Severus said, pretending to be offended, but smirking all the while.
"As long as no one finds out it was you." Hermione sighed.
"They won't, because I'm going to take the credit for it." Harry grinned.
Severus rolled his eyes, and Hermione laughed softly.
"Look, I've got to go and write to Tom and Lucius. Say hi to Draco for me." Harry said, remembering his best friend.
"I'll see you later then." Hermione said.
"Bye, Harry." Severus called after him.
Harry bounded up the stairs, barked the password to the Fat Lady, and settled down to write his letter to Lucius.
When he'd finished that letter, he smiled. So, he'd made a host of whole new friends, Slytherins no less! He'd discovered fully what Dumbledore was like. Manipulative old goat. Dumbledore was really the only problem he had at the moment, and Voldemort was going to sort that out.
Harry grinned. 'And until then, I'll have to settle for pranking him.'
"Harry?" Ron's voice snapped him away from his thoughts.
"Do you have any chocolate frogs?" He asked, a greedy look in his eyes.
Some things will never change.
Well, that's it! Truth or Dare is completely finished now. I hope you enjoyed this epilogue, and the whole story in general! Please, let me know what you think by reviewing one final time. Every review means a lot to me, and makes me grin like an idiot!
Thank you to all of those lovely reviewers, you are amazing, and have kept this story alive! Special thanks to all those who have put the story on their favorites, on alert, you guys are brilliant!
This story is dedicated to XTimeGirlX, without her, this story wouldn't be here at all, I wouldn't have posted it, and you wouldn't have read it!
Also, another special mention to funnyjester, who is an amazing friend, and is again, hugely supportive!
Thanks once more for reading.