Rating: NC17
Pairings: Sam/Dean
Warnings: Angst, HurtDean, HurtSammy, Wincest, Torture, Rape,
Summary: Sam's idea of heaven shatters Dean's heart and he realises now he can never confess his true feelings for his brother and he just wants to walk away from it all. But when Sam is taken by Zachariah and sent to Purgatory, they are thrown headlong into a battle against the devil. With the help of Castiel, the brother's devise a plan to defeat Lucifer but unless they are truly bound to each other… Sam will be lost forever. The secrets they are both keeping might just get them both killed.

AU ending for "Dark Side of the Moon"

Chapter Warning - Explicit Wincest... as in uncensored brotherly boysexing ahead! Don't like it...don't read it!

Chapter 12

Dean stood slowly and placed himself protectively in front of Sam, turning hateful eyes on the fallen angel.

"Stay away from my brother."

"Oh but Dean I've only really just started to get to know Sam, what makes him strong, what makes him weak. You know you're at the very top of both lists. Impressive I must say."

"I'm not gonna let you touch him again."

"Well it's a noble thought but you can't stop me."

"No Lucifer but I can."

Dean turned with relief as Castiel appeared.

"Nice timing there Cas." Dean moved back to be closer to Sam's side but gasped in surprise instead as tight pressure suddenly cut off his airways. Automatically clutching at the invisible force, he grimaced as his broken fingers stretched and grated with the effort.

The older boy watched helplessly as Castiel stepped forward speaking in a tongue foreign to Dean as he encompassed Lucifer in white light. The last thing Dean remembered was hurtling through the air and seeing the far wall moving up fast to meet him.

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The younger boy felt detached as everything happened around him, watching as Dean was thrown across the room to fall motionless on his side. There was a red mark...

Dean's blood

...where his brother had connected with the brickwork.

Sam instinctively shielded his eyes as the light grew brighter but then Castiel was hurled along the same flight path as Dean and only narrowly avoided landing on the older hunter as he too fell in a crumpled heap.

There were too many emotions and questions and fears in Sam's head for anything to make sense except for the anger that was building within him. Whether or not it was really Dean, whether any of this was real he still couldn't sit there and watch as Lucifer played this game and hurt what looked like his brother.

Hand braced against the wall, Sam got to his feet and stood facing Lucifer, the only thing he wanted was for this to end. He was done.

A harsh voice made his head turn in time to see Tahariel, arm outstretched, bathe Lucifer in the blinding white light as Castiel had done.

"Sam."

Following the sound of his name he watched Castiel walk unsteadily towards him, glancing behind the angel at Dean's body.

Dean's already dead. This isn't real.

Sam shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts, trying to grab a hold of something to steady his grief and anger.

"Sam, we need your help."

"Castiel?" Sam saw the angel but was finding it hard to trust his own senses at the moment.

"Yes it is me. You need to help us trap Lucifer, cage him."

"Tried... I tried to kill him, make him pay for Dean but..." Sam eyes travelled back to Dean's body and he shook his head. "If you're really who you say you don't need my help."

"When Tahariel releases Lucifer from the Seal of Light you need to say yes Sam." Castiel drew a knife across his own hand and began drawing symbols in blood on the ground around them. "You need to say yes and step into this trap."

"No... promised Dean I wouldn't... won't let him down again."

"Sam we have no time." Castiel stopped and placed a hand on Sam's forehead. "It is truly me and you need to do as I say."

Sam's eyes snapped open as Castiel revealed himself for who he was, showing Sam a glimpse of his grace but not enough to harm the young hunter.

Nodding, Sam looked down hesitant before he meet the angels ice blue eyes. "Will it kill me?"

"Possibly." Castiel lifted his chin slightly. "But you are Lucifer's true vessel and the only one that will draw him in when you accept."

"Is that really Dean... is he here?"

Castiel blinked slowly before speaking very deliberately. "Most of what you have seen and heard has been Lucifer's fabrication here Sam. You were led to believe Dean was really here when he wasn't. I am sorry."

Sam frowned and nodded, blinking rapidly as his voice came out ragged. "Promise me… promise me Cas if it doesn't kill me you will. I can't... I can't do this… be here without Dean… I can't… not again."

Castiel met Sam's eyes but before he could answer Tahariel's voice sounded out loud and desperate.

"Now Sam. You need to act now!"

Castiel nodded at the boy before him, feeling emotions he hadn't felt before and if he had the choice, would not want to feel again. Regret. Sorrow. Self disgust.

Sam nodded again, eyes holding the angel's stare before he glanced one more time at the body on the floor that seemed so real.

"Yes. YES!"

Sam whole world was suddenly filled with burning light and pain and a dizzying vertigo that seemed to last forever. He held on to the strands of self awareness enough to know he had to move…. move into the blood circle… he knew it was important, couldn't remember exactly why, and he willed his body to obey that one last command. He knew after he did that it didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore after that.

Sam's feet moved one step and then another until he crossed the blood circle and stood within the intricate markings.

He screamed as he lost a hold of himself, his feelings, his soul. He screamed as everything he was, was ripped to pieces.

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Dean heard his own groan and it dragged him up into consciousness before he could stop it. It was much better, much less painful to stay in the hazy depths of unawareness and oblivion than to have this… this reality forced upon him.

As he tried to take in his surroundings, Dean's heart pounded painfully as he began to understand what was happening.

Sam was screaming and Lucifer's old vessel was lying on the floor, used and broken.

"No. No Sammy, no."

The older hunter used the wall to gain his footing, weaving unsteadily towards his brother, wanting desperately to just grab him up and hold him tight.

Dean of all people should have known that no matter how much you want something, it rarely made a difference in reality.

"No, no, no."

Dean turned his head to Castiel who had slumped against the wall as though in defeat, frowning at the look on the angels face.

"What happened? What did you let him do?"

"CASTIEL!"

"Sam is trapping Lucifer. He is sacrificing himself to save us all."

"Cas no. How could you let him say yes? Why would he do that if he knew I was still alive…? He knew I was alive right? He understood that? Cas?"

"I did not clarify that aspect with him."

Dean walked to the edge of the blood circle where the younger boy stood, neck arched back and arms flung out, his whole body shaking like he was having a seizure. At some point Sam bit through his lip and bright red blood spilt down his chin, dripping onto his clothes as his eyes rolled back in his head.

"SAM!" Dean saw Castiel move as he called out to his brother and then the angel was holding him back, keeping him from breaking the blood trap.

Tahariel's voice sounded out sharp and guttural with verses and phrases that Dean didn't understand as the light around Sam grew so bright Dean could no longer look at it… could no longer look at his brother and what this was doing to him.

A cacophony of sound and light… screaming so loud and painful Dean knew he would never be rid of the sound and it vibrated the very walls around them, shook him to his very core and kept on going. Sam's voice bled through his mind and soul and essence and in that instant he would have died ten times over to save his brother from the pain of this.

And then it was gone.

Tahariel's voice was the last thing before total silence and then Sam was falling, crumbling right before his eyes like his bones and muscles had turned to dust and there was nothing solid about him.

"Sam."

The stillness rang out so loud it was deafening and Dean felt Castiel let go and he staggered one step and then another. His feet stumbled across the red markings and he knelt down slowly, so very carefully next to his baby brother because he would die before he caused him any more pain and suffering.

Dean's hand traced softly down the younger boy's face before smoothing back the strands of unruly brown hair that had fallen across his face.

"Hey Sammy, s'okay, it's over baby. You did so well, so brave and…" Dean voice choked in his throat as he watched his brother's still face and it hurt so much more than he could stand right now.

"He did it. Lucifer is caged."

A fury so bone deep and strong rose in the older hunter and he was suddenly holding Castiel against the wall, fists pounding relentlessly into the angel.

"You bastard. You fucking bastard you knew what would happen. You let him do this and you knew… I'm gonna kill you…"

Dean hit into the angel until he could no longer feel his hands and his arms ached like he had gone ten round with a block of concrete. Finally sagging, his angry blows becoming nothing more than useless movements, Dean's knees buckled with grief and exhaustion.

"Your brother is still alive Dean."

"At what cost? What did Lucifer do to him?" Dean crawled back to his brother's side, head reeling and bile rising in his throat from concussion and pain.

"We did what was needed, the greater good must always come first. There are no exceptions."

"Yes. Yes there are." Castiel turned to face Tahariel. "Sam would have still chosen the right thing if he had been trusted with the truth. Sometimes faith in the few is more important that the greater good. I was wrong with my deception."

"Being exposed to these humans has made you weak brother."

"No Tahariel, it has made me stronger." The angel's words went unanswered as Tahariel disappeared from the room.

"Cas, can you fix him? Please?"

"Dean I cannot undo what Lucifer has damaged inside your brother. Tahariel has given me enough power to heal you though." Castiel walked forward and touched Dean's head. "And I will give you the time you need to tend to Sam."

"What...?" Dean blinked as the room blurred and disappeared.

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Dean stood in a sunlit room, the sounds of waves crashing and the smell of salt air filled his senses. A partially open glass door was in front of him and he squinted at the glare of the bright light as it reflected off the cresting waves.

Heart still pounding, Dean turned to see Sam lying on a large bed behind him. If he didn't know better, if he didn't look too closely, he could have pretended that Sam was just sleeping.

He walked over and sat down next to his brother, feeling disorientated and angry and so fucking messed up. Castiel had fixed any physical injuries he had but emotionally he was an absolute train wreck. In the space of days he had been ripped apart from his brother time and again and maybe now, Sam was gone for good.

Maybe this body lying next to him was just a shell and Sam was already long gone.

Suddenly out of the blue Dean wished he could rewind the clock, go back to when they were just kids. Not normal kids because there was nothing about their lives that would ever fall into the category of normal but he just yearned for simpler days and times. Yeah they knew about the monsters in the closet and the things that hid in the darkness but they had each other and they had their Dad and the pain they had known then was nothing to what they had endured as the years progressed.

You don't know what you've got till it's gone.

A fleeting memory came to him of Sam's face looking up at him, smiling at him because of some stupid thing he'd done to make his little brother laugh. Sam had always laughed back then when he was young, easy smile and dimples that lit his face up so bright it had always been amazing and terrifying at the same time.

Even back then Dean understood what it was like to know someone had such power over you. Maybe he had always known his brother held a piece of his heart in his hands.

Dean's eyes tracked up Sam's rumpled, bloodied clothing, and took in the details of the younger boy's face and wondered if his brother's mouth would ever smile at him again.

The memory of Sam's lips brushing against his own suddenly overshadowed his reminiscence and waylaid his emotions. After all those years and hidden feelings, the slow burn of Sam that had seared his heart and scorched his soul, maybe all they would ever have is that one kiss.

"You need to wake up soon." Dean began to untie his brother's boots, giving his hands something to do. "M'gonna get you comfortable so you can rest first but then you gotta wake up Sammy. I need you here okay? I need you back."

Dean unbuttoned Sam's over shirt and gently removed it before he undid his brother's jeans and slid them down and off, leaving the younger boy clad in boxers and a t-shirt. There were extra blankets on a wicker chair in the corner of the room and it was easier to cover Sam in them than to try and attempt to wrestle him under the covers he was lying on.

Not once as Dean worked were there any signs of movement or wakefulness from Sam and the older boy tried not to lose the hope he was desperately clinging on to because without it, he was lost.

Standing motionless beside the bed for minutes, Dean saw their duffels and weapons bag lining the far wall and realised that Castiel had thought to send them along. He was still angry at the angel for deceiving his brother but deep down he knew that Sam would've made the same decision if he knew he could send Lucifer back.

Wondering for the first time about where they were, Dean walked from room to room in the small cottage but gleaned no more clues about their location. The kitchen was stocked and as he peered out the front windows, smiling briefly when he saw the Impala sitting in the small gravel driveway. The closest dwelling seemed to be at least half a mile down the small dirt track but Dean knew Castiel would have put them somewhere safe enough.

For now at least.

Walking back into the bedroom, Dean ran his palm down the side of Sam's face before sliding his fingers down to the pulse point in his neck. "M'gonna grab a shower okay, I won't be long."

Grabbing some clothes from his bag Dean stopped halfway between the small adjoining bathroom and the bed, his eyes lingering on the still body of his brother before he walked into the small room and left the door open. He was back out, still slightly damp but clean in under five minutes.

Sam never even knew he had been gone.

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The next day passed in a half blur, the sun now sitting low on the horizon and the waves were coloured an impossible red orange that reminded Dean of fire. He shivered as the sea breeze slipped in through the open doorway and his eyes move to his brother's hand beneath his own.

Dean had wedged an arm chair in the space beside the bed at some point that morning when he realised that wherever his legs took him aimlessly over the course of those long hours, he would always end up back here by his brother's side. He had made a sandwich earlier in the day and it sat hardly touched, on the bedside table along with an empty coffee cup. The coffee had been good but the glass of bourbon that he now cradled in his hand was much better.

The alcohol numbed the feeling of helplessness that was slowly invading his every thought and movement, making everything seem dull and surreal. The pleading words he had spoken over and over for Sam to wake up had fallen heavy and unanswered in the silence and now even his brother's hand felt colder, almost lifeless.

Shifting in the chair, it was probably the fact that he was miles past exhausted, both physically and mentally that he missed it at first. When he finally realised that dark hazel eyes were staring back at him, Dean lost the ability to breathe and just froze for seconds before he truly believed what he was seeing.

"Sammy?"

He squeezed the hand beneath his fingers as his other hand came up to rest on the side of his brother's face, thumb rubbing gently over the younger boy's cheekbone.

"Sammy?"

Dean watched as the dark eyes blinked slowly and his brother began breathing loudly as his awareness rose. Sam's hand shifted beneath his grip and the accompanying low gasping groan made Dean almost choke on his own voice.

"Hey Sam, God… God…" Dean swallowed roughly. "You okay Sam?"

"M'I dead?" Sam frowned and moved his body to sit up, whimpering and visibly tensing when Dean helped him.

"No Sammy, you're okay, we both are." Dean smiled as he sat down on the edge of the bed. "God you scared me kiddo."

"You're not real, I know that." Sam voice was whisper soft as he looked around the room.

"I'm real Sam." Dean slowly closed his fingers around Sam's hand and brought it up to his face before pressing Sam's knuckles to his mouth briefly.

"You said it would be over if I did this. You said I wouldn't wake up." Sam pulled his hand away. "I wish I was dead. I don't want to remember anything. I don't want to feel anything else."

"Sammy don't you say that."

"Why are you doing this to me?"

Sam's voice was flat and devoid of any emotion and like a flash fire, anger rose up inside the older hunter at what they had done to his brother, tormented by demons and played by angels until he couldn't tell good from bad or fact from fiction. Suddenly Dean was moving, turning his body and clutching Sam with his hands as his fingers splayed across his brother's chest and his other hand cupped the younger boy's face.

"This is still beating Sam, your heart is still beating so don't you tell me you want to die, not now, not ever." He grabbed Sam's hand and placed it over his own heart. "And this, my heart is still beating because you saved me. You brought me back because… because you loved me Sam. So you tell me, does it feel real enough for you?"

Tears were falling down his face but Dean couldn't feel them, all he felt was desperation that Sam was slipping away from him. "And this Sammy…" Dean leaned in and ghosted his lips across his brother's mouth, pressing and sliding his mouth along Sam's slightly parted lips before he pulled away. "…does this feel real to you? God Sammy, please tell me you know it's me, I can't… I can't lose you now okay."

Sam lifted his eyes and allowed himself to really see Dean for the first time since he had awakened. He didn't want to look too closely before because it hurt too much to know this was just a false moment that was being played out for his benefit, it was too painful to acknowledge he would never get his brother back.

Dean had died in his arms but…

"I don't understand." Sam wasn't even aware that he had spoken as his eyes followed the path of tears down along Dean's face and then down to the amulet around his neck. He frowned at the blackened symbol and the reddened skin beneath it. The young hunter's hand slowly extended to touch along the charm and then the scar underneath.

The younger boy blinked, so confused and scared. "Dean?"

Dean nodded, drawing in a ragged breath as Sam's fingers moved from his neck up along his jaw and then wiped the tears from his face. "S'me Sammy, please... please believe me."

Dean's body shook with silent sobs as everything, the pain and loss and worry and fucking heartbreak just crested over him like a giant wave and he started sinking, drowning.

Something shifted, righted itself and snapped into place as Sam heard the voice, the sound of his brother that he had known all his life. The way his brother spoke always resonated deep inside him like the calm within the storm that anchored him and made him feel safe. Sounded like home.

"Dean." Sam wasn't asking this time as he fell into his brother's body and felt himself surrounded by warmth.

When Dean's mouth found his and pressed desperately against his lips, Sam could taste the salt from their tears and he closed his eyes and just got lost in the feel of his brother against him.

Sam opened his mouth and Dean accepted the invitation with a passionate moan, his tongue pushing inside the younger boy's mouth as their lips continued to slide and move against each other. Dean's hands slid up through his brother's hair, tangling in the strands before moving back down to smooth along the back of Sam's neck.

Dean pulled away breathless, taking a moment to watch Sam's face before he leaned in and pressed their foreheads together.

Neither boy spoke for minutes as they just held on to each other, breathing each other's air.

It was Dean who broke the silence when he felt his brother's body shiver under his hands although Sam made no sound or complaint.

"Lemme close the door, you're cold."

Frowning at the wide eyed terror that moved quickly across the younger boys face, Dean smiled gently as his hands briefly squeezed Sam's shoulder. "It's okay Sam."

He waited until the younger boy nodded before he slid off the bed and walked over to the glass door, sliding it all the way closed and latching it before drawing the curtain. As he walked back to the bed and clicked on one of the room lamps, he saw Sam's eyes blink slowly and it dawned on him that his brother was still exhausted.

"Hey how about you get some sleep and then we'll work things out in the morning."

"Don't want to sleep. Feels like… I feel like I've been asleep for so long… everything's…" Sam shook his head unable to find the words he wanted.

"Everything's what Sammy?" Dean frowned as he sat back down on the bed.

Sam looked down at the crumpled blanket surrounding him as his fingers twisted and pulled at the loose strands of a broken thread. "I can't tell what's….there's things I remember but I'm not sure which parts are real… like my brain's got someone else's stuff in it y'know."

Dean rolled his eyes affectionately. "Yeah Sammy your brain's always got too much stuff in it. Told you it would implode one day geek boy."

Sam's smile was instant and bright and as he glanced up, Dean could see the light back in his brother's eyes and he leaned over without even thinking and placed a soft kiss on the corner of Sam's mouth.

As Sam felt Dean move away from him, his body automatically leaned forward and chased his brother's mouth until he found what he wanted and was pressed close against the older boy's chest. He felt his heart pounding hard in his chest as their tongues tangled and he drew his knees underneath him and let his hands wander up and down Dean's chest and back.

When they broke the kiss, panting for breath, Sam's let his mouth slide along the top of Dean's shoulder. "Want this Dean. Want you."

"I know Sammy, I want this too." Dean's voice slips along the side of his brother's ear. "We need to go slow, you've been through…"

"No." Sam sat back and looked at Dean. "We've waited so long and if the world ends tomorrow… we've waited long enough."

The look in Sam's eyes is both scared and stubborn and in strikes a chord in Dean how Sam always manages to tell him so much without words. He can see Sam needs this nearly as much as he does and for once Dean decides he's not going to second guess or hide or do any of the other things he's been doing for years to deny his feelings.

Instead he reaches for the hem of his brother's t-shirt and silently lifts it over Sam's head before doing the same with his own and for a second he just takes in Sam's skin and the way his chest is rising and falling so fast. Standing but not taking his eyes off the younger boy, Dean undoes his jeans and slides them off his legs, hesitating briefly before he does the same with his boxers and stands naked before his brother.

Holding his hand out, he watches with a half smile as Sam stares at it confused for a minute before he takes it and moves to get off the bed, standing up and eyes looking anywhere but at Dean.

"You okay?" Dean steps in and whispers the words against Sam's neck as his lets his tongue lick a path down along his brother's neck before sucking the skin in the hollow of his throat. Dean knows Sam wants this if the noises slipping out of his mouth are any indication but his little brother is still coming to terms with the fact it's really happening. "Stop thinking Sammy."

"Mmmm…'kay." Sam's pretty sure his ability to think just got sucked into his brother's mouth anyways but Dean's voice is calm reassurance and that's enough. It always has been.

Dean stepped forward and pressed their bodies together, just feeling Sam's skin under his tongue and hands has made his cock throb heavy between his legs but pushing in he can feels Sam so hard as well.

"God Sammy… need these off." Dean's fingers slid beneath the waistband of Sam's boxers and slowly, almost teasingly he began to push them down. Moving his hands back, he rubbed them down his brother's muscled ass as he slid the material further down at the same time as he pulled Sam in closer against him. Lifting his hands out of the cotton he moved them back to Sam's hips and lifted the elastic out and then down, and he groaned softly as Sam's shaft was released and rubbed against his own.

Sam broke away then and pushed the boxers down his legs and off his legs impatiently and then began kissing Dean so hard and forcefully the older boy was momentarily stunned before he got with the program. Forcing his thigh between Sam's legs he began to run his hands along Sam's flanks, savouring the feel of soft skin and hard muscle before he reached between them with one hand and found the younger boy's nipple.

Twisting and pulling the rough nub between his fingers he was spurred on by the whimper and small sounds of pleasure that Sam made deep in his throat as his brother began to grind himself down into Dean's thigh.

Making himself pull away, Dean was stunned by the lust blown pupils that stared back at him from Sam's eyes and his voice sounded rough and desperate when it came out of his own mouth. "Get on the bed Sammy."

Sam looked back at him for a second and Dean was on the verge of just pushing him down but the younger boy finally moved and sat down then pushed himself over until he was just lying there like he had no idea just how debauched he looked. Dean was pretty sure his brother looked like every wet dream he had ever had and he climbed across his brother's body and straddled his thighs.

Leaning in close and breathing in Sam's ear, Dean's whisper was hot and dirty. "What do you want Sammy. I'll give you anything."

Sam felt Dean's voice on his skin and it sent electricity pulsing down his body straight to his already rock hard dick. He could hear the want in his brother's voice and he knew it was for him, knew Dean was so hard and it made him groan. "God Dean…" Sam felt burning hot drops of precum side over his cock and down and he thrust up against Dean's weight wanting friction.

"Tell me Sammy."

Sam whimpered because he could find the words. "Please… please Dean."

"What do you want baby?" Dean's body slid down and then his mouth closed over one of Sam's nipples, sucking it in, teeth grazing over the rough flesh until Sam arched up into his mouth.

"Want you inside me… just want you… please."

Dean knew already but he wanted to hear the words, wanted Sam to tell him because he needed to hear it for real, had to make sure because this was Sam, this was everything he had dreamed about for so long.

"God Sam. Yeah… want that too."

Dean's mouth moved down Sam's body of its own accord and Dean went along wilfully for the ride as he tried to taste every inch of his brother' skin. Sucking on the flesh just under Sam's hipbone, he could feel his brother almost vibrating with need underneath him and a wave of arousal spread over his body like liquid heat.

When Sam's knees spread apart even further Dean groaned into the flesh against his face as the musky smell of Sam's arousal assaulted his senses. Pulling away from his brother's body, Dean's eyes were drawn to Sam's swollen cock, the head so red and glistening with creamy drops of cum.

Dean's tongue licked along the thick vein that ran underneath Sam's shaft and when Sam bucked off the bed with a lustful cry of need, Dean moved his hands to pin his hips to the bed as he repeated the action over and over. When Sam was reduced to begging his name Dean took him into his mouth and sucked hard on the tip and listened to the sounds of his brother falling apart beneath him as Sam's hands pressed against his skull.

Sam didn't recognise the sounds that were coming out of his own mouth, not at all. All he knew was that Dean was pulling him apart and putting him back together at the same time in agonisingly slow, erotically mind numbing, increments.

As he felt his cock being swallowed inside Dean's mouth and then sucked down, down into the wet heat, Sam lost all sense of everything except what happening between his spread legs. He didn't even know his own hands had found their way into his brother's short hair and pressed Dean harder, deeper, against his throbbing cock.

Sam can feel he won't last much longer and he frowns with an ounce of clarity as his fingers move to give his brother a different signal pushing him off.

"In me… want you in me when I cum." Sam voice is husky and breathless and he's pretty sure he's seconds away from shooting his load, gasping when Dean pulls off with a final lick over his slit. "Oh fuck…"

He can feel Dean move up his body and suddenly he is staring into deep green eyes that he's known his whole life but hardly recognises right now. His brother's stare is hungry and filthy and there's barely any green left around the lust blown black. Sam couldn't have looked away if his life depended on it.

Sam doesn't speak but just arches up as Dean moves down and plunders his mouth and the younger boy's hands can't hold on tight enough when Dean's fingers slide down his body between his legs and press insistently against his opening.

In an instant Dean moves off him and Sam's left cold and panting and beginning to panic until he opens his eyes, and he doesn't even remember closing them, but Dean's right there fumbling through his bag and then moving quickly back over Sam's body.

"Won't hurt you Sammy."

The words vibrate along his skin and then Dean's fingers are back, cold and slick now and pressing inside him, moving in and out until his own body picks up the rhythm and runs with it.

"Dean please…" Sam's pretty sure he's on the brink again and he hopes, knows, trusts, Dean will understand what he wants because his brother always has read him like a book, page after page and between the lines.

When Dean's cock pushes against his hole and then shifts and breaches inside, Sam cries out at the pain and pressure even as he pulls his brother down against him, harder and deeper.

Dean stills when he hears his brother's pain, it's not something he's ever gotten used to and now is no exception. He flexes his muscles to move out, knows it's too much but Sam holds him fast and tight and Dean knows Sam still wants this, so he'll get him past it and through it until it feels good.

"Shhh Sammy, relax, s'okay."

Moving his hand between them, Dean fists Sam's cock slowly from base to tip, up and down and letting his lube slick fingers make the slide easy and good. He can feel Sam's body start to push into his fist and as his brother's head tilts back on the bed, Dean bends down and sucks hard on his neck.

"Mmmm fuck…Dn…mmmm."

Sam's voice already sounds so fucked out as Dean's hips start moving, rocking his cock slowly in and out of his brother.

"God Sammy… so tight baby… s'good."

Unable to help himself now, Dean's thrusts get harder as he drives into Sam and watches the younger boy thrash his head from side to side. Pushing his arm under one of Sam's legs, Dean bends it up towards his brother's chest as he drives in deeper and Sam shudders and shakes as the sweet spot inside him is set on fire with the change in angle.

"Dean…Dn… mmm…" Sam tenses and cries out as his body arches and his cock pulses hard and hot between their naked bodies.

Dean can feel Sam's orgasm wrack through his body in waves of tight muscle and he follows hard and fierce, his cock throbbing hot streams inside the tight heat of Sam's body as his vision whites out with the intensity and pleasure.

Still rocking gently, Dean finally shifts to the side and then pulls out, warm liquid spilling out with his softening cock as he lowers himself down next to his brother's panting body.

Sam frowns at the loss of contact but then sighs as Dean's hand smoothes across his chest and comes to rest gently on his hip. The weight of Dean's arm across his body feels comforting and he places a hand over Dean's arm, softly rubbing up and down.

"That was…" he begins but falters, unable to find the words to capture the intensity of everything he's feeling.

"Yeah Sammy I know." Deans thumb runs lines across his hip bone. "If the world ends tomorrow I'm gonna die happy."

Sam laughs at that, out loud and deep and from the heart, still high on sex and adrenaline before he turns and lifts himself on one elbow suddenly serious in the beat of a heart.

"Can we really have this Dean? This…us?"

"Yeah Sammy, I'm real, this is real and we can have this if you want it."

Sam looks into his brother's eyes as he listens to the words. They sound like a promise, like an aqua wave, clean and sparkling and he just wants to plunge into them. Dive deep below the surface and stay there forever.

Leaning in over his older brother, Sam kissed softly over his mouth.

"I want it."

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The End.

a/n: Well if there's anyone out there that's still reading this fic I've just gotta say thanx muchly for your patience! I have to be honest and say I lost the muse for this fic but then I realised that I was trying to continue the story when I should have been trying to end it...*shrugs*...hope it was worth the wait.

Each and every one of your comments has been very much appreciated and I'm glad you came along for the ride!

*hugz*