Behind the mask
"Will you hurry up in there karlie!" yelled my sister Zoë Davis
"Alright Zoë!" I said as I rinsed off my bloody wrist and razor.
As I was cleaning my razor I took a good look at myself in my bathroom mirror. Pretty Carmel skin, big brown eyes, shoulder length brown hair a perfect ten and defitlintly not your typical 15 year old emo. To me this is just a mask that I'm fortunately very good at hiding behind so know one suspects what I really do when I'm by myself, which is most of the time considering how much my sister and I's mom works.
As I rushed downstairs I saw Zoë kiss our mom goodbye on the cheek I saw them both look up and they had this weird look on their faces and I knew I was in for something.
"Crap" I thought
"Morning everyone" I said with one of my big fake smiles
"Morning" Zoë and my mom Susana Davis said at the same time.
"karlie is there something wrong because I know you've been spending a lot of time in the bathroom with the door locked-"
"Listen mom Zoë and I have to go." I interrupted
"Ok but later." She smiled
"Have a good day you guys."
She said as she kissed us both on the cheek.
Just enough time for us to back out of the driveway Zoë says
"Karlie what's wrong?"
I started to speak but she interrupted
"And don't lie."
Out of habit when someone asks me what's wrong I looked at my wrist choker which hides how I'm really feeling. Cut deep yet relived to have and outlet.
"Nothing that you'll ever understand Zoë." I say
"well excuse me little miss in her own world these days, but I am seven-teen compared to your five-teen I think I have at least two more years of experience on you."
"How when everything's just been so perfect for you!" I snapped
"You know what I also lost my dad as well so it wasn't just you but me and mom as well just in case you forgot!"
As soon as those words left her mouth I felt bad. Me and Zoë are pretty much best friends as well as sisters despite the two year age gap.
"Look Zoë I'm sorry really I am but it's too deep and I don't want to talk about ?"
"fine karlie, just know that since I know your you don't want to talk about whatever it is with mom, I'm always here for you when you're ready and I love you."
"I love you too." I said and turned up the radio to high to allow anymore conversation and touched the razor in my side pocket of my jeans.
When we finally get to school I enter the hallways and put on yet another fake smile and head down the overcrowded halls of my high school Kingston high home of the tigers.
Zoë and I have parted ways and as I walk down the halls to my friends I see him. Ethan Clark. Ever since Zoë first saw Ethan on our first day of school she has been almost obsessed as in he's all she ever talks about at home. She's lucky to on the count that Ethan has been showing some interest I feel in her.
All this started when we sort of kind of walked into him on our first day trying to find our classes. She said it was just the kind of thing you just know and feel. Me and Zoë have never had a hard time around boys and it just came natural to us but for some reason Ethan was different and makes my sister extremely nervous. I have to admit Ethan is hot; tall, toned, sea green eyes, and jet black hair that sometimes falls into his eyes. Because of this she made me form a friendship with him (which I didn't mind too much) so I can talk her up and make her look good and to see if he likes her. our plan worked to and I did eventually form a brother sister relationship but somewhere along the way I swear just the way he looks at me sometimes makes me feel like maybe he likes me and that maybe I'm more than his little sophomore little sister, as soon as these thoughts occur though they vanish with the realization of the fact that he is a senior just like my sister and is just as popular. Granted my friends and I are the most popular sophomores but that's really not the point. I mean honestly there aren't too many differences between Zoë and I. we are both black but caramel toned with shoulder length brown hair and the same eyes and are both really popular and can both get any guy we want. Really the only difference is she's a senior, I'm a sophomore, she sees a grief counselor whereas I refuse because I don't want to be a baby so I cut myself which nobody knows about or the fact that since we were kids I've been in love with one of my best friend's older brother Sebastian turner.
Sebastian I thought with a smile that only he can bring out. Sebastian is just that Sebastian there are no words that can possibly describe him. We've been best friends forever and we've always been really close even before we moved here from New York (which was how I already knew him and his sister trinity). We grew up together. Sebastian's a really amazing guy who only deserves the best and I just don't think I could measure up to that. He deserves so much better than me. I mean Sebastian's tall, equally toned, with these really pretty brown eyes that seem to shine and are the envy of any girls. And besides the physical appearance his personality is even better! He's so funny and smart and can make me smile even when I don't want to. He's different from any guy from the past and he's defitlintly no Ethan but that's fine because that complicates things because I do genuinely have feelings for Ethan as well but they are different. The thing about Sebastian is that I just don't get enough as in attention so that's where Ethan comes in but Zoë god I need to get my feelings in order before someone gets hurt.
"Karlie, wait up!"
Oh no I thought not him
"How you been girl?" flashing that gorgeous smile of his
"So beautiful when you gonna come see me play in the homecoming game?"
I blushed involuntarily and just hoped Zoë wouldn't see which I saw she was and was walking toward us, so I had to steer the conversation quickly before she got to us.
"I've been busy Ethan-"
"Ok honestly karlie what do I have to do to get you to just give me a chance?"
"You know as well as I do how Zoë feels and she is my sister"
"But maybe that's not the Davis sister I want" he said as he touched my cheek
"Listen karlie just give me one chance to prove to you I won't hurt you and that you can trust me"
"Hey karlie, hi Ethan" Zoë said in her sweetest voice
"Hi" we said at the same time
"So what were you guys just talking about?"
"Homecoming" Ethan said
"Ohh, like whose going to be the queen to your king?" she said with her eyelashes fluttering and best flirty expression
"Something like that" he smiled
"But uh I gotta go to my locker before I'm late so ill text you later" he said looking at me
"Kay bye!" we both said in this dreamy voice
As soon as Ethan was out of earshot Zoë said
"He is so hot"
"Yeah I guess" I said but on the inside I was still trembling under his touch and magnetic gaze. Stop it Karlie he's for your sister…
"I said who is he taking to homecoming?"
"Oh I don't know, who are you taking?
"Obviously I want to go with Ethan"
"Well I gotta go meet Trinity, Auburn, and Melanie, so bye!"
Phew that was a quick one. In truth I've been trying to get Ethan to ask Zoë to homecoming, crap just let alone ask her out period!
"Hey karlie!" yelled trinity turner
"Hi everyone" I smiled
"Omg did we just see you in an intimate conversation with Ethan Clark?" squealed auburn nelson
"Spill girl" Melanie Morris said with an excited little jump
"oops theres the bell, well we better get to Italian class"
God I hate myself. It's like everyone whom I love and care about I lie to everyday. I lie to the people who were nice enough to welcome me under their wing when my sister and I moved from Madison Avenue in New York to Beverly Hills Los Angeles. And honestly trinity, auburn, and Melanie really are my best friends and pretty much like sisters. When I think about it my sister and I got lucky, I mean to become friends with the most popular girls and boys in our grade and have been pursued by a good many of them, I just wish that I deserved there respect and trust. My friends tell me everything and in return I tell them nothing. I really do want to tell them about what's really going on with Ethan but what if they freak or somehow this gets back to Zoë? She'd kill me!
Ok so I have decided that I am going to tell them what's up with Ethan and about my feelings for trinity's older brother Sebastian. I just honestly don't know what she's going to say I mean it is a little awkward admitting you're in love with one of your best friend's brother who is a senior for gods sake! But I'm still not crazy enough to admit anything about my extracurricular activities involving me and sharp objects.