Warning: This specific one shot may be K+ or T rated due to later violence. Depends on how you look at it.
Annie sighed in disappointment. "It's no use! None of these books are going to help me get my revenge." She had read from cover to cover books on the basics of pranking ever since the "plunk'd" episode in the Plaza, hoping to gain her vengeance of Kilbert and Hans. Fitz could get away with it, since Pepe "annoyed" her endlessly, but even with that out of her mind, she had no idea as to how to go about it. "If only there was someone with a maniacal enough mind to help with this…"
Right on cue, Liese Randel walked into the Atelier, bored out of her mind. "Hello." She took immediate notice of Annie's prank books piled on the desk. "Prank books? Annie, aren't you a little old to be pulling pranks?"
She was cut off by Annie's sobs. "Lieeeeese! You have to help get my revenge on Kyle and Hans!"
"Revenge? What did they do?"
"A few months ago, Fitz and Kyle came up with a comedy sketch without me knowing. Later on, Hans joined in, and they made me think I was going to be arrested for conspiring with Kyle in illegal mechanical practices." Annie sniffled, "I swore I'd get my revenge, but I just don't have it in me, I suppose…"
Liese patted the girl is assurance. "Hey, don't worry about it. I can totally help you out if you want, and I know Kilbert and Gillian have wanted to do something for a while as well." She stood up and peered out the window, "Speaking of which, here they come now."
Annie had never been more terrified of Kilbert in her life when she saw him stomp into the workshop. She swore the whole building was going to fall down on her. She'd have to complain to Hans about that next time…
Gillian, on the other hand, looked miserable and exhausted. She must have been caught slacking off again. I guess the Captain made her stay behind and do some extra physical work or something… "Annieeee! I need you to use your alchemy powers to get back at Hans."
"No way! Messing with Kyle is more important right now! He gave me a fake mechanical sword and stole my Golem Boy!" He stomped his right foot like a child, "THIS IS UNFORGIVEABLE!"
Gillian and Kilbert began a squabble, while Annie continued to look furiously through her prank books, seeing if there was anything she missed. Liese, of course, was stuck in the midst of it, completely ignored. "Everyone." No response. "Everyone." Again, no response. So what was a girl to do but borrow her friend's mini gong? The sound of the clash made everyone give their immediate attention to the rosette. "Thank you. Now gather around. I have a plan that everyone can help with and be happy." The four gathered in a huddle to discuss their nefarious plots of vengeance.
The next day, Gillian and Annie were hiding out on the side of the Headquarters, waiting for Kilbert and Liese to arrive on the scene.
"Why do I have to wear a bear costume?" Kilbert grumbled. "I wanted to be a lion! Then I could roar like a king!" The costume was a disgusting brown color, and was incredibly scratchy and smelly. It was the only thing that actually resembled a bear, however, so Kilbert was stuck in it.
"Kilbert!" Annie tried to shush him. "You'll give it away. Now go hide in the bushes until Liese gets here!"
The adventurer pouted but did as he was told, and the lady alchemist arrived not much later. "You guys know the plan, right?" The girls nodded. "Don't go in until we get him out here. Annie, remember where the key is. And Kilbert?"
"Don't go completely overboard."
The trio nodded, and Liese walked in through the main entrance. The typically busy man was nowhere in sight, so Liese assumed he was either in a meeting or in his office. Thankfully, Daniel was around and certainly, he would know where Hans was. "Excuse me, Daniel. Have you seen Hans today?"
The small man, slightly embarrassed to be addressed by such a lovely lady fumbled with his pocket, nearly dropping everything. "O-Oh yes! He's in his office, I-I believe. Please make sure to knock first."
She nodded, "Thank you." She made her way to the oak door. Inside, Hans had just settled down into his paper work, taking occasional sips of his morning coffee. Liese quickly forged an irritated face and pounded on the door. "Hans Arlens, you open this door right now!"
Hans, completely indulged in his work, was terrified by the woman's pierce voice. "L-Liese? What is it?"
She huffed, "Is this your idea of a joke?"
She started going off on a tangeant, "Because honestly, that scarred me for life!" She darted towards him, gripping him by the collar of his shirt. "Think of the children." The result was awkward, terror and confusion on Hans' face. "If you don't do something about it, I'm calling my lawyer."
"L-Lawyer? Liese, what is going on?"
"Your cheap little gimmick of an advertisement, that's what!" She snarled, "It's completely out of control, you moron! Now go do something about it before I make you!"
He gulped, not completely sure of what was happening. He attempted to keep a strong-minded act for his own sake though, "Um, where-where is this…problem?"
Huffing, Liese began walking out the door. "Follow me, I'll show you." Reluctantly, the duo walked out of the building, as Annie and Gillian waited for the perfect moment to storm in. Hans' attention was completely on the distraction, so the girls took the chance to dash through the building, each going around and about to throw off anyone who would tamper with their plan. Finally reaching the office, Annie looked both ways to make sure no one was looking.
"Did you bring the juice?"
Gillian nodded, "Although I don't get how this is supposed to prank Hans. I bet he'll be delighted by this creation."
Annie pretended to agree for Gillian's sake. She ducked down and inspected a pot. Hans kept an extra key buried in the top two centimeters of the soil, which she unearthed easily. She slid the key into the lock. "Bingo. Let's go."
Meanwhile, Kilbert was causing massive panic in the square, letting out loud roars and hugging random people that passed on the street. "You see Hans? DO YOU SEE THE PROBLEM?" Liese nearly shrieked at the shocked man. "NOW FIX IT! There won't be any sales until this is resolved!" She stormed off, masking a giggle or two, while Hans stood awe-struck at the "bear."
"E-Excuse me, sir!" Hans called out to him, "You are disturbing the peace! You must move along now!" Clearly, however, the bear refused to do so, continuing to prance about, enjoying the torment of the townspeople. "Hey! I told you to knock it off!" At that point, the bear let out an irritated growl, and leaped toward Hans. Hans, terrified for his life, fled the scene, being pursued by the "animal."
Inside, Gillian managed to remove the lid from Hans' coffee cup. It was half full, so she could only pour in so much without him noticing. When satisfied, she and Annie reenacted their "secret entrance" to get out of the building. "Do you think he'll be okay, Gillian?"
"Oh don't worry, Annie!" Gillian replied cheerfully, "Kilbert is a big softie at heart!"
I was referring to the juice…
Liese had been waiting behind the fountain during the duration of the chase, laughing whenever Hans and Kilbert came by. "Hans is certainly going to be in for a treat, now isn't he?" The girls giggled almost viciously. "Phase one is complete. Kilbert will be back soon enough, and then we can begin phase two."
Hans had managed to escape the terrifying bear and hide in his office. He had no idea what to do about the "bear" on his own, so perhaps Beaux could have been of some help? He would have to track down the lonesome wanderer later; he still had paperwork to do, and for all he knew, the bear had probably left town. He layed back into the chair, trying to relax and reason with himself. For all he knew, it was just some guy in a costume! And it's not like he didn't do anything about it; he reported the situation as soon as he got back!
I'm going crazy, he reasoned with himself. Let's just have some coffee and get back to work. He gripped the green cup and took a slow sip… before spitting it out. "What the-? What is this?" He took another taste of the bitter mix. "It tastes like something Gillian made!" The realization dawned upon him quickly. He took a quick sniff, and concluded that Gillian had somehow tampered with his drink. It must have happened when I left with Liese… but I swore I locked my office! And no one else knows where the other key is except Annie… He began to piece it all together…"It was a trick!" He fumed. Liese must have roped the girls and one other person into this. He only knew two people that were big enough to pass for a bear…
He began to scribble on the paper in frustration, completely deep in thought as to the situation at hand. "Annie, I swear, you're in for it next time…!"
Kilbert, bored of chasing Hans, decided it was time to plot the next phase; Kyle's House. Although not a part of the plan, Kilbert decided to add somethings in. First, he wanted to wear his bear costume again. Reluctantly, the girls agreed. He also wanted to toilet paper the house. They refused him this, but he ignored them, and brought a kiddy sized potato shooter, and several rolls of toilet paper.
"Hey guys, since I'm not actually important right now, can I help Kil with the toilet paper?" Gillian begged the two alchemists, "I don't have any mechanical expertise whatsoever anyway, so you two are better off doing it on your own…"
"That's fine. I have a little something else I wanted to do myself." Liese held a cookie-sized audio chip. It was dark blue and very odd looking. "It's supposed to be like a recorder, and then you can play it back later. I have something Kyle might like to hear." She put the recorder in her pocket and grabbed the bright red tool box from Annie. "If Kyle gets back early, Kilbert is back on distraction duty, and Gillian, you should hide so he doesn't suspect anything else."
"Everyone into position!" Annie declared, and the pairs split off. The two alchemists rushed to the back door of Kyle's humble abode, where Liese skillfully picked the lock in twenty seconds flat. Note to self: Liese is more deceiving than she appears. Once inside, the two began to tinker with the appliances in his kitchen and bathroom. Annie particularly enjoyed tampering with the sinks, as she wanted Kyle to be sprayed in the face. Meanwhile, Liese messed with his record player, and took various things from his room; Kilbert's Golem Boy, his Mr. Machine Mach V, some of his blueprints, and a ribbon that he stole from her. Once satisfied, the two retreated to the back door to meet up with the adventurers.
Annie smirked in satisfaction at the sight of the toilet paper. "Nice job you guys. Now let's get going before he gets back."
Kilbert shook his head. "I think I'll stay here and mess with his mind. Have a nice life, you guys." He attempted to sneak in through the windows, which ended with some apparent success, other than a hard knock on the head.
Liese matched Annie's smirk. "Phase two is complete. Phase three begins now."
Kyle was not convinced someone was in his house when he got home. Not even when he saw all the toilet paper in his trees. He simply assumed he had redecorated in his sleep. He had sleepwalking problems anyway, so that must have been it. He wasn't even slightly concerned by the snores he heard coming from his living room…
…until he saw that it was a bear.
To make sure he wasn't completely crazy, he ran to his bathroom to splash himself with cold water. However, the faucet splashed the water at his glorious zipper coat! The plumber must have been tampering with my house again! Oh, how he despised plumbers! But right now he had to deal with a 200 pound plus bear in his living room.
He approached the bear casually, because who wouldn't? Treating a bear like you are afraid of it clearly sent it the wrong message. "Hey Mr. Bear! Would you like some dinner?"
"Mr. Bear" nodded his head feverously, forgetting his current activity (breaking Kyle's dishes). "What would you like to eat?"
At that moment, the bear jumped on top of Kyle and began biting his arm. "M-Mr. BEAR! Please! We can solve this without resorting to violence!" The bear got up to let out a roar, giving Kyle the chance to flee for his life. While running around the neighborhood, he ran into Hans on his way home. "HANS! I've never been happy to see you until now!"
"That's a polite way of greeting someone…"
Kyle started shaking the boy, "There's a bear coming after me! YOU HAVE TO HELP."
"A bear, huh?" Hans said, definitely not convinced. "Kyle, you need to know that's just-"
"The bear" had found them at that moment, and Kyle dragged him along. They eventually found themselves on the outskirts of town, hiding in a tree…
Back in Annie's workshop, the three girls were having the time of their lives, dancing to records Liese had brought and eating Annie and Liese's cooking. Liese and Gillian were singing the chorus of a song nearly at the top of their lungs, while Annie jammed a little bit while trying to fix their dinner.
"Alright, that was probably the most fun I've ever had!" Annie sighed happily. "Liese, I can't thank you enough for your help." Gillian nodded in agreement. "But what happens if they decided to counter-prank us?"
Liese shrugged. "I wouldn't really worry about that. They won't think about it until a very long period of time."
"So you guys wanna sleepover?"
"Of course!" The three comrades gathered around the table for dinner, Pepe absent because he was ordering out for himself, annoyed by the gathering.
Meanwhile, Kyle clutched to Hans, as he watched "the bear" perform a rain dance around the trunk of the tree.
"I told you Kyle, that's just Kilbert in a bear costume… NOW GET OFF OF ME."
"No, no, no, no, no! I am NOT crazy! Besides, Kilbert wouldn't resort to cannibalism!"
Hans spent the entire night trying to leave, each attempt thwarted by either Kyle or Kilbert. After that, Kyle had nightmares of bears doing rain dances.
FINALLY. SCHOOL IS OUT. I'M GOING TO BE A JUNIOR EVERYBODY!
This oneshot has various inspirations including:
-The iCarly episode "iGet Pranky," especially the "Joke Is On You" montage. Also, the Psych episode where Shawn gets into a kid's karate class by convincing one of the workers that he will sue the school for "discrimination" and "agism" and one scene of Haruhi I saw where she got a computer by planting evidence of sexual harassment.
-pepperpizzapal suggested a while back that I do a sequel to the "Annie gets plunk'd" scene in the game. I kept pushing it off, since I am not too good at revenge and pranking people. But as I said, watching "iGet Pranky" gave me some ideas. However, I decided not to add Fitz because I don't think Annie would try to prank her. I thought I saw one scene where Fitz was upset with something Pepe did to her…? It was just easier to write with Hans and Kyle as victims.
Anyway, I got all of my favorite characters on the Prank Squad chapter! …And Kyle.
PLEASE LISTEN TO "THE JOKE IS ON YOU" FROM iGET PRANKY. It's awesome. :D