Well, there's some good news and some bad news. The good news is that Trina hasn't come to me ever since I got Cat to be her… friend with benefits? Yeah, I suppose you could call it that. 'Fuck buddy' would probably be more accurate, but I don't like the way that sounds. The bad news is that Cat has been telling everyone she knows about how wonderful Trina is to her, and I'm usually the first to hear it. It's yet another reminder of what I could have. Not that I want it. I mean, I don't. Really. I just need to convince my body of that.
Cat's actually in Trina's room right now, and judging by the lack of sound, they're either finished or taking a break. If I had to guess, I'd guess the former. This is Cat's fifth 'visit' in two days; Trina has to be running out of energy by now. But what if she still needs more? I bite my lip and try my best to banish the thought. If she still needs more, Cat can handle it. For now, though, they seem to be satisfied: the shower starts running and rapid footsteps quickly approach my room. I mentally brace myself for the stories Cat will undoubtedly have.
"Hey Tori!" She sits down at the side of my bed, patting my leg to get my attention. I mumble something that I don't even know the meaning of; Cat interprets it as 'start talking'. "Guess what Trina did with me just now?" I have no idea why she phrases it like that when she doesn't give me time to guess. "She got this new thing called a strapper! It was so much fun! She showed me how to put it on, and then she laid down and suddenly I was in charge! I'm never in charge of anything, except for this one time when I was at camp and the group leader put me in charge of playing hide-and-go-seek, but then when the bears came they sent me home! And it wasn't even my fault!"
"And after she had her orgasm, she looked at me all sultry and she said 'Your turn, Catty' and then she did this thing with her tongue that was…" She searches for words, but fails to find any. Yep. My sister is so good in bed that she leaves Cat speechless. The worst thing is that I know exactly how Cat feels. When Trina and I… you know… she did this trick with her fingers that I still can't find a description for. All I can say is that it felt so good, and if I don't stop thinking about it really fast I'm going to soak my panties. Once I banish the impure thoughts, I notice that Cat's on the phone with someone.
"No, I'm at the Vegas'. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah, with a strapper! Huh? Oh, because you strap it on! That makes so much sense! Hm? Yeah, of course we're still on tonight! 'Kay 'kay, see you in a few!" She hangs up and smiles brightly at me. "That was Jade. Tonight is movie night… It's her turn to pick the movie, so I'm a little worried, but I picked a movie that she liked last time so I hope she'll pick a movie that I like tonight."
Cat amazes mesometimes. She's so casual about the things she does with Trina, as if it's just another fun activity. To her, it's probably no different from movie night. I do realise that Cat isn't the greatest example of normal behaviour, but still… If she can sleep with Trina and still live her life the way she always has, why couldn't I?
Stop it. You're trying to justify giving in.
But… would giving in really be so bad? I mean, yeah, we're related, but is there something inherently wrong with that? We're both girls, so it's not like we'll have any children, and it would feel so–
Before the cycle has a chance to continue (although I'm sure it will come back to haunt me later), I hear somebody coming into the house. Seconds later, my mom announces to nobody in particular that she's home. I pull myself to my feet and motion for Cat to follow me, which she does. As we head downstairs, Cat talks about how she has never met my mother and how much she's looking forward to it. All I can think is: 'Please don't tell her you're banging her daughter'. My mother is pretty open-minded, but I still don't think she'd be very happy if she knew about some of the things Trina has done. Especially that one thing she did to me…
"Evening, Tori! You wouldn't believe what– oh, we have a guest?" Cat goes over to shake hands and introduce herself. I wonder if she washed that hand… I don't have time to ponder that, as my mother asks a rather dangerous question: "So what were you two doing upstairs?" I can lie about it, sure, but Cat? I don't think she even realises the necessity.
"Oh, I was here for Tr–"
"Training!" I blurt out, interrupting Cat. "We're training! For… a play. That we're doing. At school." My mother frowns, undoubtedly at the odd choice of words. Seriously, 'training for a play'? Thankfully, Jade's arrival pulls the attention away from me. She walks in, says the obligatory hello and leaves with Cat, who waves at us until she's out of sight. The whole thing took less than ten seconds. My mother stares after them and comments: "And those two… they're friends?" My answer is a shrug; I gave up on trying to figure out their relationship long ago.
I'm about to head upstairs, but mommy dearest stops me before I make it to the stairs. "Tori, honey…" She never calls me 'honey' unless she wants to have a talk. This can't be good. "Please sit down." I sit, very much on guard. "Now… This Cat girl… You're very close with her, aren't you?" Is… is she going where I think she's going? "Tori, I want you to know that if there's something you want to tell me, you can just tell me, and I won't think any less of you. You're my daughter and I love you all the same."
"Mom!" I feel my cheeks burning, which probably gives the completely wrong impression. "I'm not gay!" She leans towards me a little more, and I just know what she's going to say next. "I'm not, OK? You've got the wrong idea."
"You weren't really practising a play, were you?" I try to remember all the tells of a liar, as taught in acting class, but I just know that I ended up blushing and averting my eyes. "Tori, it's OK to experiment at your age. I did too when I was younger." I so do not need to hear this. I really, really don't. This is the most awkward thing that has happened between us since she gave me the talk. I feel the desperate urge to remove myself from this conversation as quickly as possible, but I also know that by doing so I'll just postpone the issue. So… middle road. Explain it as well as possible, then get out of here.
"Look, I can't tell you what we were doing, but I swear that there's nothing going on between me and Cat. We're not dating, or experimenting, or anything like that. We're just friends." She's still not entirely satisfied with my explanation, but at least she seems to believe me. As I flee upstairs, my sense of irony starts tingling: Cat was specifically here to prevent me from getting laid. She just happened to wind up in my room afterwards…
Trina's still in the shower. I have my usual moment of hesitation as I pass the bathroom (it's amazing what you can get used to), push myself past it and head into my bedroom. Some homework is done; some music is listened to. It's my basic routine, except I have to banish certain thoughts every now and then. The shower stops about twenty minutes later. Another ten minutes later, mom announces that she's leaving again. Five minutes after that, Trina shows up in my room. Naked. Oh god, no.
"What happened to Cat?" she asks. I regain a little bit of hope. Maybe she's just looking for Cat, and just didn't bother to get dressed. Would make sense, considering what she normally needs Cat for. But then if she doesn't find her…
"She left… She's having movie night with Jade." I gulp. "Why… what did you need her for?" I'm an idiot for even asking. I know what she's going to answer, I know what she'll ask of me, and I know I won't be able to say no. But still I asked. Says a lot, doesn't it?
"Nothin'. Just wanted to say goodbye, is all." I'm… a little perplexed. It's really not a strange answer, but I wasn't expecting it. For the past week, I've only thought of her in terms of her sexuality. Seeing her make a normal gesture of friendship towards Cat – I guess 'friend with benefits' would be accurate after all – reminds me that there's more to her. Sure, it's not very considerate to take a thirty-minute shower while you have a guest, but she would have done the same thing before the incident. It's another aspect that I'd forgotten about. As she leaves my room, I resolve to fix this now.
"Trina! Wait up!" I'm tired of running away from Trina. If I keep avoiding her, I'll never be able to look at her the way I used to. I want to see her as a big sister again, not as a threat to my purity. So I'm going to confront her, talk about what happened, and see if it's possible to leave it behind us. "I want to talk about what you did… that one morning."
"What we did," she corrects me. I don't like that way of phrasing it. It makes me seem like a willing participant. Trina somehow manages to read my mind perfectly. "You didn't object once we got started. All that you needed was a little push in the right direction, and you were just as into it as I was – maybe even more." This conversation is not going the way I wanted it to. Exactly the opposite, in fact. "And the way you've been avoiding me, when I didn't even make a move on you afterwards. You think I don't know why you got me Cat? You want me to be satisfied… because you know that if I ask you, you won't say no." She smirks and steps closer. Too close. Not close enough… "Do you want me, Tori? Do you want me to do with you what I do with Cat? Do you want me to… fuck you?"
My pulse is rushing. She touches my arm, and the mere promise of things yet to come sends shivers all the way through me. There's truly no escape: she's between me and the door, and too strong to push out of the way. I have to say no. It's the only way to get out of this situation. Say no. Just say you don't want it. She's your sister! You're straight! SAY NO!
"Yes…" It comes out as a mere whisper, but a whisper is good enough for Trina. Her lips move towards mine; I know that this is my last chance to stop her. If I let her kiss me, the deal will be sealed. I won't be able to stop her during the act, and I won't bother to the subsequent times. By the time our lips connect, I haven't done anything to halt her. And as her tongue finds its way into my mouth, I wonder why I ever would have wanted to.
"You just had sex, didn't you?" is literally the first thing Jade asks when she sees me. I hadn't realised it was so obvious, but since the secret is out now anyway, I just nod in confirmation. Cat squeals, runs over and gives me a hug. I'm not sure why she did that, but it's Cat, so I figure it's best not to ask any questions and simply hug her back. Behind her, Jade has her eyebrow raised in a silent request for more information.
"I… gave in. We're going to be, um, sisters with benefits from now on." Jade doesn't have that many good qualities, but one of the few shines through right now: she's not the least bit judgemental. She hates a lot of things, certainly, but if she doesn't hate it, then she's not going to judge whether it's right or wrong. And since I'm currently on her good side, she accepts my explanation without a single snide comment. She does ask if she can tell Beck, and after a brief consideration I give her the OK. She'd tell him regardless of whether I give permission, so might as well pretend to have some control in the matter. It's odd, really: I came here to talk to someone, but now that I'm here, there's nothing I can really say. As soon as Jade finds that out, she directs me towards the door so that she can continue her movie night with Cat. Being on Jade's good side only gets you so far, I guess…
Later that evening, Trina and I sit on the couch watching some cheesy TV show. We laugh at the plot holes, fight over the crisps and altogether act like sisters normally do. Except when the movie is over, she puts an arm around me and kisses me on the lips, thereby initiating a quickie on the floor.
I know this isn't right. I mean, one of my closest friends and I are both having sex with my sister, and both of us are OK with sharing. Had you said that to me two weeks ago, I would think it's seriously messed up. But nobody's getting hurt, and none of the people who know have any objections. So even if it's not right… well, it's not really wrong either. Some people would probably say that I'm making excuses. Those people don't know how good Trina can make you feel. And while I'll probably regret this when I'm older, right now I'm too busy enjoying it.
"Hey Tor, will you be home tomorrow?"
I'm going to enjoy this a lot more than I should.
A/N: And that's the end of that. It's kind of odd, really... I had to wrangle out Rebound with blood, sweat and tears, and it still ended up feeling incomplete. This fic, on the other hand, came out pretty effortlessly. I don't think that says very good things about me.
Oh well. As always, reviews are very much appreciated.