Wrote the actual sex bit when I was drunk, ftw.

Written to prove to Itachi's Shroom that Dei can be Seme in a dress.

Thankyou soooo much Selyann for helping me with writing the sex part 8D


DeiSaso / Implied ShikaTema (VERY implied)

I don't own characters, blah blah


I thought for a moment that I might be into girls when I saw her walk in.

My secretary told me that she was from a small but wealthy company that didn't show their faces and flash their new products like the others did. It didn't cross my mind that a company that doesn't advertise can't be that wealthy; at least not wealthy enough to show up at that ball.
My name is Sasori Akasuna. I was chairman of Suna Industries, very close to the head honcho. Yeah, I was one of those up-market guys. The kind of guy you never saw in the streets because I was in a better street; I was being seen by better people.
So you can expect that having one hell of a reputation, I had one hell of a sex life. Only I never really was into the whole sex thing. Sure, I'd done a few guys back in the days of University and lets-go-drink-all-night, but I'd never gone with any guy that I actually cared for. So I thought I might actually be straight when I saw that bombshell step into the room.

She hung off the arm of a stone-faced brunette, his sleek hair kept tidy in a midnight ponytail. He was wearing an identical Armani tuxedo to me, a detail which made me raise an eyebrow at this small-town guy.

"Hey, Temari?" I muttered, lifting a hand behind my head.

My secretary turned around from socialising with a lazy waiter and stepped quickly up to my side, brushing a strand of dirty-blonde hair from her face. "Yes sir?"

"Who are they?" I nodded over at Armani and Bombshell, frowning.

"Hang on," She squinted and started at them for a minute as I tapped my foot impatiently.

"We haven't got all night, Temari"

"Sorry boss! I think they're from Akatsuki Corporation. Yeah, they must be. I don't know the brunette man's name... Uchiha, I think. The blonde guy is Deidara, no last name given."

"No last name. Interesting. Uchiha? Wasn't there a big case about an Uchiha company a while ago?"

"Yeah, that was Itachi Uchiha. This is Shisui... I think..."

I nodded and shooed her away as I processed the information. Wait. That Deidara... was a guy? Hm, one hell of a guy. I felt a little nervous watching them. Shisui oozed power, and there was something about that blonde that I just couldn't put my finger on. He was drop dead gorgeous. Long blonde hair cascading down his back like a honey waterfall, eyes as blue as the sky on the sunniest of days, all wrapped up in a silky black dress that was tight around the chest and waist and then flowed like a shimmering river down to the floor. I rubbed the back of my neck anxiously, looking over at two businessmen from Konoha Industries as they argued about whether or not to sell to the rising power, Kumo Industries. The Akatsuki pair must have seen me watching and sensed that I'd let my guard slip, for they walked over to me, stepping in perfect unison.

"You must be from Suna Industries" Shisui stared directly at me, and held out his hand. "I am Shisui Uchiha."

I ignored the handshake, giving myself a mental pep talk. I raised my head a little and looked down my nose at the dark-haired man. "I am Sasori Akasuna. I'm sorry, but where do you work at?"

Shisui rolled his crimson eyes and nodded curtly at Deidara before walking away.

"I'm Deidara, yeah" His voice swam through the air, like a gentle kiss on my ear. "Me and Shisui, we work for Akatsuki Corporation."

I could tell that the blonde was being sweet and seductive; Akatsuki would probably try and make a bad offer to us. Even though his sultry and sexy manner was having an effect on me, I didn't care. I had been in the game for over twenty years. It would take more than some hot little blonde to throw me off.

"Akatsuki." I lowered my tone of voice a little. "I've heard vaguely of you. How did you get into the ball? It's a very exclusive event; not every little business is allowed in"

"We're not just a little business, yeah" Emphasis on the 'little'. "Akatsuki are a rising power. We hold a lot of respect amongst many chairmen, yeah."

"Well clearly not respectable enough for me to have heard of you." I sighed, placing a hand on my hip.

Deidara chuckled. Something struck me as odd about him. He was playing the naive, sweet little worker, but I could tell that he held power. I could see that he was high up in Akatsuki, high up enough to be the one wearing the Armani tuxedo and slick ponytail. So why was he in an unusually attractive hybrid of a ball gown and a cocktail dress? I didn't know, so I looked down on him, keeping my guard secure.

"Well I have heard of you, Mr. Akasuna. You're one of my idols, yeah..." He added the last part wistfully, gazing up at the ceiling with the tiniest of smiles on his face.

"Don't use flattery." I raised my eyebrows; I was looking down on him even more. "Akatsuki are not buying out Suna."

"If I wanted to buy out Suna..." Deidara's voice suddenly became less dreamy as he took a step closer to me. "I would be talking about Akatsuki's benefits and offering you money, yeah"

"You're not here to buy me out." I scoffed. "What's your goal, then?"

"I wanted to meet my idol. I want to idolise you, yeah" He whispered, flicking his pink toungue across his full lips.

"So I'm going to be idolised by a man in a dress?" I smirked, taking a fold of the silk in my hand and rubbing it between my thumb and index finger.

Deidara looked up at me from under his eyelashes, gently stroking the shoulder of my tuxedo with the tip of a finger. "I want to idolise you, yeah. There's a room with a lock over there. Next to the table with the flowers."

I flashed my teeth in a content grin. A hot guy wanted to hook up with me. I didn't have many objections. "I'm not selling Suna in exchange for sex."

"I'm not selling sex in exchange for Suna, yeah" He breathed. "Although if you're not interested I could always go and idolise Shisui or that cute guy from Kiri..."

I thought about it as Deidara batted his eyelids and pouted. Even though he was hot and probably intelligent, I wasn't sure. Uchiha. There had been a big case about Itachi Uchiha a few months before. Itachi Uchiha: chairman of a hit-man company. But Temari obviously knew about them, they were guests. And there was nothing new to me about hooking up with random little business sluts in conference rooms.

"What's your last name?" I asked, lowing my chin to look directly into his eyes. "Or don't you have one."

Deidara giggled, tilting his head a little. "Haretsu. Deidara Haretsu, yeah"

"Go and wait for me in the conference room, Haretsu. I'll be there in a minute."

Deidara nodded slowly, giving me a suggestive half-smile. I kept my face black and simply raised an eyebrow as he turned around and walked over to the empty conference room, deliberately giving his hips a measured swing with every step. I turned around and scanned the room for Temari, who was talking to the waiter.


She jumped a little and turned around. "Yes, Mr Akasuna?"

"I'm going to one of the conference rooms to negotiate. If Gaara needs me tell him to wait for an hour or so."

"Yes sir!"

My tongue darted out and quickly licked my lips as Temari turned away to talk to the waiter again, and I sharply spun round and walked towards the conference room. A few people looked at me: Uzumaki from Konoha, Terumi from Kiri, a few lowlifes from smaller businesses. I knew that they were all thinking the same thing – 'Sasori Akasuna is making negotiations?'
That's what happens when you get a reputation as a ruthless and hard businessman; it becomes a big deal when they think you're going to sell. Of course, I was only going for a quick fuck, but they didn't know that. I looked at everyone in the room with a smug smile on my face as I twisted the doorknob and strolled in, closing it behind me with a click.
Deidara was perched on the large table, his dress spilling over the edges and swaying slightly from the breeze when I had opened the door. He had one hand on his lap, kneading a handful of the silk while the other clutched the edge of the table.

"Lock the door, yeah" He muttered, a slightly commanding air to his voice.

"Don't demand things from me." I glared at him, but clicked the latch into place. "They all think I'm negotiating a deal. Priceless."

"Well" The blonde slipped off the table, lading lightly on his feet and took a step towards me. "This is a sort of deal, yeah."

"Not a deal I haven't done before"

"Then this should be good, yeah..." He lowered his voice and it became softer, more inviting.

Our lips crashed together as he grabbed my tie, pulling me in. I felt his hands glide down my body until he wasn't touching me; instead he was lifting up the hem of his dress. He lifted his leg and pressed it in between mine, breaking the kiss for a second.

"You're good at this, yeah..." He mumbled, placing his hands on my waist and drawing my body closer to his.

"Oh shut up, Haretsu."

Our lips locked again and I ran my hands through his silky golden mane, pressing his head closer to mine. It was far from an elegant kiss, but for once I didn't really care about appearances; eating face was a lot more fun. Deidara's grip tightened, and he spun me around and pushed forwards until I felt the base of my spine hit the table. His head jerked a little and he let out a grunt.

"Fuck..." He hissed, toungue still mostly in my mouth.

He pushed me roughly onto the table and then pulled away from the kiss.

"Surely you don't think you're going to top?" I scoffed.

He winked. "I don't bottom, yeah"

Then he bent his knees slightly and jumped, landing neatly with one leg either side of mine, straddling me. He cupped my face in his hands, softly kissing me; an action which was far too loving for my tastes.

"So you think I'm going to be dominated by a man in a dress?" I snarled, pushing his hands from my chin.

"I can turn any straight man, yeah" He chuckled, hands sliding down my chest.

"I wasn't straight to begin with."

"What about when I first walked through the door, yeah?"

I thought about it for a second, and it hit me. I had thought that Deidara was a girl. And I'd been attracted to him. Hm... That boy did have skills...
The blonde caught me off guard and took the chance to roughly smash his lips into mine, forcing his tongue into my mouth and ignoring the drip of saliva that was working its way down his jaw. His hands slipped smoothly onto the front of my pants, fumbling with the buckle of my belt and quickly whipping it out and thrusting it aside. I planted my hands on his back, locating the zip of his dress and pulling it sharply downwards. I could feel the silken shell loosen from his body, falling down his torso and resting on his hips. It was strange. Normally when I fucked someone it would be hardly any kissing, just me sticking it to them and then it would be over. But this was different. There was something about Deidara; something so seductive and dangerous that it drew me to him like a moth to a flame.
The blonde quickly unzipped my fly and pulled my trousers down to my ankles, slipping off the table and gently running a finger down my inner thigh. I groaned as I felt what was probably all the blood I possessed flow south, and my underwear grew tighter.

"Mmm... so do you like being idolised, yeah?" He whispered, toungue darting out and flicking itself across his lips.

"This is barely considered being idolised, Haretsu." I snorted, shrugging off my jacket and pulling my tie over my head, flinging the two garments aside.

He threw back his head and laughed, golden hair waving from side to side. "Oh, then you're going to have to ask me for it, yeah!"

"Idolise me, Haretsu." I hissed. "I want you to idolise me. Right here, right now"

"Yes sir." He placed his hands on the waistband of my boxers and pulled them down to meet my trousers. He slowly climbed back onto the table, one leg either side of mine just like before. My pulse quickened as he used one hand to work the buttons on my shirt, gradually opening it. The other hand he placed on my penis, softly teasing me with light, quick strokes. Our eyes locked for a moment, and then he crashed his lips into mine as he undid the final button of my shirt and slipped it off my shoulders. I moaned into his mouth and his fingers closed around my cock, starting slow but speeding up and he moved his hand up and down; he was just like a professional. It seemed odd to me, foreplay. Every other random business hump I'd had was just quick and to the point; there was something more intimate about this. Something about Deidara's soft lips pressed against mine, the kiss a lot tenderer than before. There was something about the way that the hand that wasn't holding onto my genitals was carefully caressing my body. There was something about the silk folds of his dress draped across my legs.

"Turn around, yeah" Deidara breathed, breaking away from the kiss with a pant. "I want you..."

I lifted my hand and stroked his cheek, and at that moment the lust fell away to something else. Sapphire eyes locked with chestnut ones, and he smiled at me, looking almost guilty.

"I want you too, Deidara" I muttered, and he nodded.

I turned over, standing on the floor and bending over the table as Deidara's warm hands ran down my sides, gently stroking the skin and extracting a moan from me. I felt the cold silk of his dress on my ankles, and I knew that he must have let it fall from his body. I smiled to myself; this was the most pleasurable sex I'd had a company ball, and the actual sex hadn't even started. The sex hadn't even started and I was actually close to release. I saw his delicate hand in from on my face and he stroked my cheek before holing up three fingers.

"Suck, yeah" The lust was back and he sounded almost commanding again.

It was odd being in the position where I had to be the one sucking someone's fingers. Usually it was me commanding someone to coat my hand in saliva, but you have to try something new every once in a while, so I took his fingers into my mouth and ran my toungue over them, smirking a little as I heard him groan.

"Oh God, Sasori, yeah..." He grunted. "You do it like a fucking pro..."

I responded my lightly biting down, which earned me another groan. He withdrew his hand and I felt his insert one finger inside me, which was a little painful, but I noted as he slid the second finger in that he did it slowly and gently, as if he was deliberately trying not to hurt me. Then he inserted a third finger and I grunted. It seemed like he sensed my discomfort because I felt his hand slide up my back and softly rub my shoulder, and he bent down and kissed the crook of my neck.

"You ready, yeah?" He murmured, his breath warm on my skin.

I bit down on my bottom lip as he slowly slipped his dick into my entrance, pushing against the friction that indicated a clear shortage of lube. His palms rested on my hip, one hand still wet with my drool. The blonde's fingernails dug into my skin slightly as his hips bucked and he started thrusting.

"Hnn... harder, Haretsu..." I groaned.

His hips slammed against mine, forcing me to bang against the side of the table. Cold, hard marble hit my thighs and I gasped; there would definitely be a bruise there the next day. We were back to ungraceful, brutal lust. Nothing but hot, heavy sex. That was what Sasori Akasuna did. Never any connections like that moment of something else we'd had. Deidara's hand slid round my hips and once again began to pump my length, causing me to arch my back and moan, his delicate fingers teasing the tip as his other hand gripped my hip. I felt him thrust faster and harder, panting and moaning.

"Ahh... Sasori!" He gushed, and pulled out only to come all over the table. "Ahh..."

I bit my lip to keep from reciprocating and shouting his name as I released too, and pushed myself away from the soiled table with shaking arms.

"That was good, Haretsu" I said, clenching my jaw and trying to sound as calm and cool as possible.

"Thankyou, yeah. You're amazing, too..." He mumbled.

I pulled my boxers and trousers up, fumbling with the zip and glancing around for my shirt. "You're better than most of the others I've had."

"That's because I've had training, yeah" I felt something cold against my back.

"What's that?" I hissed. "Haretsu?"

"Slowly, Akasuna" He grunted, no trace of post-sex glory in his voice. "Turn around, yeah"

I frowned and turned. His dress was already back on, and with both hands he held a small pistol. His beautiful blonde mane was ruffled, and he had a triumphant smirk on his face. I automatically liftend my hands in surrender, confused.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"What does it look like, yeah?" The gun clicked, and he pointed it at my chest. "Ame Industries hire Akatsuki to take care of the main rivals, yeah. Suna is their biggest competition, so me and Itachi were sent to get you."

"I-Itachi?" I clenched my jaw, trying not to show the unimaginable fear that you get when someone points a gun at you.

"Yeah, Itachi, Shisui – call him what you want – he does the talking, he acts like the big business guy, yeah"

"And let me guess, you whore yourself out to the competition and then..."

"Yeah." He shrugged, the smile still on his face. "Sex is easy. More fun when you know you're going to kill the guy after you're done, yeah"

"I should have known, nobody has such a half-hearted orgasm when they fuck in a conference room..."

"Well, it was nice fucking you, Sasori. Goodbye Suna Industries, yeah"

I tried to step out of the way as he pulled the trigger, but I was too late. Or was I? The bullet missed my heart, went right through the shoulder. There was a blinding pain and my vision blurred in agony. I heard shouts from outside and the quick steps of people running to the door. I saw the door handle turn with no avail, and I saw the blurry blonde-and-black blob of Deidara toss his satin hair over his shoulder and walk calmly to the other side of the room and out of a door. That bitch... the closest I'd ever come to feeling something for someone other than random, impulsive lust.


I cracked open my eyes and saw white. Then it came into focus and I saw a hospital room. The walls were mostly blank, except for one which was covered in brightly coloured, obnoxious cards. Temari was sat on a chair in the room, chattering away on my phone. She saw that my eyes were open, muttered something into the phone and pocketed it with a grin.

"Mr Akasuna! You're awake!" She hurried over to the bed and grabbed my hand. "Everyone at Suna was worried about you, but we're glad you're okay"

"Can you please tell me what the fuck happened?"

"Well, you went into that room to negotiate with that guy, and then about an hour later we heard a gunshot. They missed your organs though." She pointed to my shoulder. "Clean through. Best place to get shot, the doctors said."

I nodded, but something wasn't right. Deidara had gone to all the trouble of small talk and persuading me to let him fuck me. He'd made a big thing of having a huge admiration for me. It just didn't seem possible that he would make all that effort just to miss the chance to kill me and then leave.

"The police are looking for the suspect. Deidara Haretsu, 19 years old, blonde, 5'10". Don't worry, we'll see him put to justice. And the coverage! Suna's stocks will go sky high!"

I nodded again, but I was hardly listening. Shisui... Itachi and Deidara had gone to the trouble to build Akatsuki up as a respectable business, and Deidara had told me that Ame Industries had sent them... would he really have left me obviously alive with that kind of information? I had to tell Temari.

"Temari..." I began.

"Oh, is he awake?"

We looked up and I saw a pretty, brunette nurse standing in the doorway. She smiled at me and then walked in. "Can I have a moment alone with him? I just need to check something?" She asked politely.

"Sure!" Temari leapt to her feet and walked out.

The nurse followed her to the door and gently closed it, clicking the lock into place. Then she walked to the window and drew the curtains. I frowned in confusion, and she gave me a reassuring smile and gazed at me with beautiful blue eyes.

Beautiful blue eyes?

"What's your name, nurse?" I asked, still frowning.

She just chuckled. "I'm your nurse, and you don't know my name? How disappointing, yeah"

My eyes widened and I gasped, frantically scanning to room for a phone... something... The nurse shook her... his head.

"Sorry Akasuna, soundproof room, no phone. You don't think I'd go to all the trouble and mess it up, do you, yeah?"

My breathing quickened, and the nurse pulled at his hair, the chocolate brown wig slipping off and falling to the floor. The golden mane unfurled and cascaded down his back. I practically jumped out of my bed, trying to stagger to the door despite my injuries.


"Don't even think about it, yeah" came that sultry, sexy voice. "I don't miss twice."

I reached for the lock.