A/N—I know it's going to take a stretch of imagination, but Dr. Daniel Pierce and his son is back in the 1950's promoting Oceanspray cranberry juice. In this one shot, Daniel looks exactly like the Cranberry man from the commercials.
This little story goes out to a reviewer who calls himself The People's Sgt. He'll know why.
Hawkeye Pierce and his dad, Doctor Daniel Pierce, stand in the middle of a cranberry field and they are wearing high waist water boots and Daniel holds a 16 oz. bottle of Oceanspray and somebody says:
Daniel clears his voice and says:
"I'm Doctor Daniel Pierce and this is my son Benjamin Franklin Pierce and we are here to discuss the health benefits of Oceanspray Cranberries. They are a clean, natural fruit that purifies the body leaving you refreshed whenever you drink this"
Hawkeye then says:
"I'm here to talk about another benefit Gentlemen of the audience. You may ask what but look, this drink ( he holds up a glass of red wine ) and look at this ( a glass of Oceanspray in a drinking glass ) You cannot tell the difference. If you want to impress your date and you cannot afford this, ( red wine ) give your date this ( Oceanspray ) and your date will never know and love you for it.
Daniel gives him a look of disgust then says:
"This is Daniel Pierce talking to you about Oceanspray Cranberries"
The camera turns to Hawkeye and he says:
"This is Benjamin Pierce telling you about the other benefits"
The director says:
"That's a wrap!"
Hawkeye and Daniel wade out of the cranberry field and onto land then Daniel says:
"Must you always talk about women?"
Hawkeye smiles and says:
"I can't help it dad, it's a way of life"
Daniel shakes his head and they walk further up on the set then Margaret in a brown and white top and skirt, picks up a glass of Oceanspray and throws it in Hawk's face and she says:
"That was the most disgusting display I have ever seen! Telling a man to go the cheap way out on a date!"
She turns and leaves in a huff of anger then nurse Kelly comes a cute green and white sundress and she throws a glass of the juice in Hawk's face and asks:
"How come you never asked me to dance? Was I not 'juicy' enough?"
Kelly turns and leaves with steam right behind her heels then a unnamed blond haired woman comes and she throws another glass in Hawk's face and she shouts:
"You never did call me? What? Busy with your commercial?"
The woman leaves the studio and Daniel gives his son a hand towel to wipe his face off then says:
"You certainly got a way with the ladies son"
Daniel walks off suppressing laughter while Hawkeye wipes off the sticky juice off his face.