Chapter 1 – Love And Understanding (Posted June 13th 2010)

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story is based on the events in the "Best Boys" story of the show Cracker (the british version of course, with John Simm). I pretty much wrote this for myself, so the thoughts would stop taking up room in my brain lol. I don't know if any of the fans of my other story(s) ever watched that show, but I've only watched those two episodes (yes, because John Simm was in it lol), but this story was really super ultra mega good, so I am going to watch the rest of the show, and I would suggest it to anyone who likes good crime drama. I know some people may not like it, but I really do, so I just thought I would mention it. If you want to watch it but can't find it, PM me and I'll tell you where you can get it. If you haven't seen it, and don't want to see it, you kind of can read this story; just imagine John Simm as a young adult who goes with a nice, strong man, and they kill a couple people. I just couldn't stop myself thinking about how the story could have ended differently and been continued, so that's what I'm doing. It starts right at the end, when Bill (John Simm's character) has got his would-have-been mother and her son. Anyway, so sorry about the long author's note, but now here's the story :P


"Grady," Bill says, yanking the young boys head back, "that's him, that was me."

"I know, Bill," Grady yells, trying to calm Bill down, "but that's not his fault, now let him go."

"I can't, can I? If he goes, there's only her left, and I can't trust her, can I, she's a lying cow." Bill screams, digging the barrel of the gun into her forhead.

"I'm sorry..." she says weakly.


"I'm SORRY!" she cries louder.

Bill just laughs at her pathetic attempt to console him, but he's not giving up, not now. He wants to make her pay for getting his hopes up and then casting him out like he never mattered.

"Bill," Grady speaks again, "you don't need the gun. Just put your arm round her neck, and squeeze with your elbow. You don't need the gun!"

"But she'll get away! And then they'll have me. They'll have us both and then that's the end of everything, Grady." Bill says as he steps forward a little, still holding the gun against the woman's head.

"It's not." Fitz whispers to Grady, trying to help him figure out what to say to Bill.

"No it's not." Grady says seriously.

"He's changed your life." Fitz continues.

"Just keep your arm around her throat and squeeze." Grady says calmly.

Fitz is desperate to get Grady to say the right thing to Bill. "Tell him how important he is," he says to Grady, "you've got to make him feel he's important."

But Grady is frustrated, and doesn't care what Fitz has to say to him. "Shut up, I don't need telling!" he yells.

"Telling what?" Bill asks, scared.

"You were important," Grady starts, eliciting a sad face from Bill, "I understand, why you're here now, doing this. You're half my age, and I really admire you for what you've got through, being honest, and just doing it..."

"You love him." Fitz says. "Tell him. Just... tell him!"

Grady, the strong, military man lets out a few tears, and then just tells Bill the truth. "I love you."

Bill's face shows signs of hurt and remorse and loss. But the twitch of his mouth says he understands, and he's so glad to hear it, only he doesn't know what to do next.

"I swear to God," Grady somehow finds the strength to continue, even after being in the closet and putting on an overly-masculine act, "I love you more than I've..."

"The gun!" Fitz yells, now that Grady has Bill's attention, "The gun!"

"Bill please put down the gun. If you don't put the gun down... I'll never be able to tell you again! PLEASE PUT THE GUN DOWN!" Grady takes a small step towards Bill, "If you're scared, give it to me. Give it to me, Bill." he reaches for the gun.

"Don't!" Fitz pleads with Grady.

Bill inches toward Grady, not letting go of the woman or child.

"Give it to me Bill. I'm gonna take the gun," Grady explains as he comes closer and closer, "and I'm gonna put it on the ground so we can talk properly, alright?" He stretches his open hand out, reaching for the gun.

Bill, with a look of fear on his face and traces of tears in his eyes, shakily begins to hand the gun to Grady.

"I love you." Grady says once more.

"I love you, Grady." Bill says, still crying.

Grady almost has full hold of the gun now.

But all goes wrong, the child tries to escape, making an armed officer believe there is a struggle, so he fires. One shot, two shots, both hitting Bill, and he's down.

"Holy shit!" Fitz says to himself. Then, yelling to the coppers, "Get medical down here NOW!"

"No!" Grady screams when Bill doesn't get up. He runs over to him, wanting to take him in his arms, but Fitz pulls him away.

"Don't touch him." Fitz says, relieved the crisis is over, but sad about the young boy being shot. "Medical is here, they'll try their best to save him, you could hurt him if you touch him wrong."

"Fine, fine, let go of me."

Fits lets go, signaling for them to come arrest him again. Medical comes down and examines Bill.

"Is he dead?" Grady asks, not sounding hopeful.

"No," the woman strapping him in said, "he's breathing, but only shallowly, we have to get him to hospital."

"Can I ride with him?" Grady asks, looking between her and Fitz.

Fitz radioed something, and a fuzzy voice responded with "We can have officers follow you to the hospital. If it's okay with them, we'll just get you from there."

"It's fine, but hurry, we need to go." the woman said, pushing Grady into the vehicle.

The truck started zooming before he even sat down. "Can I hold his hand?" he asked the woman. She nodded and he sat on the bench next to Bill, and took his hand in his own.

"It's going to be alright, Bill." Grady leaned close and whispered. "You're going to be fine." he said, and then kissed Bill's hand.

He could see sweat on Bill's face, and heard his breathing become more strained. He was about to ask why they weren't going faster when the truck stopped and the doors flung open. Bill was carted away, and Grady was left running to keep up, coppers right behind him.

"I'm sorry, sir," the same woman said as they wheeled Bill into a hospital room, "you can't come in, we have to get the bullets out now." and she closed the door behind her.

"Ok," he heard Fitz say as he approached, "crisis averted. Now you've got to come back to the station."

"What? He's dying! I can't just leave him! Not now..." Grady stopped trying as he was handcuffed and pushed out the building.

Grady was thrown into the back of a police car, and whisked away to the station, locked up in a cell. No one would tell him how Bill was doing, he had no idea if he was awake, or if he was even alive. He sat there for hours, unable to talk or even think. Hours turned into days. Three days until he heard anything.

"We're taking you to the hospital to see your accomplice." an officer said as they shoved him into the police vehicle again.

He was escorted to Bill's room, a different room than the one he'd been in three days ago.

"Go in and talk to him. Man leading the investigation will be right in. We need him in a good mood so he'll confess. It'll make it easier for all of us." the unfamiliar officer patted Grady on the shoulder.

Grady walked into the room. Bill was asleep, all hooked up to wires and machined and an IV. He didn't have a shirt on, which made it easy to see the bullet wounds. One in the shoulder, probably harmless, probably the one that sent him down. And one in the stomach, probably the one that prevented him getting up, probably the one that kept him asleep three days.

He ran his thumb over the one on the stomach. It was healed nicely. Well, nicely for a bullet wound. And he was still alive, so it must be fine. It felt funny though, not like skin, more like plastic or rubber.

Then he heard shuffling, and looked up from the wound to see Bill rubbing his eyes and trying to sit up as far as the wires would allow him.

"Grady!" Bill yelled with a huge smile. "Grady, what are you doing here? They told me you were put away..."

"Shh," Grady said, placing his hand on Bill's head, and Bill looked up at him, "I am put away, but they wanted me to talk to you."

"Get a confession out of me?"

"Eventually, but not now. They just want me to put you in a good mood."

"I'm happy to see you." Bill semi-whispered ad he grabbed Grady's wrist and pulled his hand off his head.


"Grady, about what you said, when you were trying to take the gun from me, I understand why you said it." Bill said, letting go of Grady and looking down.

"What I said...?" Grady looked confused. The only thing he'd said then was...

"You said you loved me. And I know why you said it. You just wanted to take the gun from me. I get it." Bill hung his head even lower and fiddled with the covers on the bed.

"No, that's wrong, you've got it wrong." Grady said, crouching by the bed and holding Bill's head up, looking into his eyes. "I wasn't trying to trick you. I meant it. I mean it."

"You... you mean it? You mean you... really... you really do love me?" some tears were forming in Bill's eyes, but not enough to fall, yet.

"Of course I do. Why would I say..."

"Will you say it again?" Bill asked, interrupting.

Grady stared into his eyes for a few seconds more. "I love you, Bill."

"Grady... I don't want to stay here. I want to come be with you..."

"You have to stay here." Grady said. "And I'm locked in a cell, where would you rather be? And I'll be back for you." he leaned in closer and spoke softly, "we'll get out, I promise I'll get you out. I won't let you go to jail."

"You won't come back." Bill said.

"Yes I will, I swear. I won't leave you all alone. Too many people have done that to you, I won't let it happen again."

"Every time I think it might be true, that this time they won't abandon me, they do. I'm sick of letting everybody hurt me. I don't believe you." Bill laid back and closed his eyes.

"You have to believe me. I'm not going to leave you..."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I won't, I promise." he grabbed Bill's hand.

Bill opened his eyes and leaned close to Grady's face. "Prove it."

"How d'you want me to prove it? I can't prove it unless I leave and come back..."

"Kiss me." Bill said fiercely. "Kiss me, Grady, and I'll believe you." Bill's voice was barely audible. He grabbed both sides of Grady's face and pulled him closer, almost touching, but far enough apart that Grady would have to initiate the connection.

Planning to only touch their lips together for a fraction of a second, Grady moved his head forward and let his lips touch Bill's. Of course, once they're actually kissing, it was unrealistic to pull away after less than a second. Bill started moving his lips, parting them, letting their tongues touch and explore each other's mouths, and leaning back, pulling Grady with him.

Grady lets the kiss go on longer than he thinks is acceptable, only because he can't bring himself to stop. All this time he's wanted to kiss him, to show him how deeply he feels for him. He felt Bill's hands holding his face a little tighter, as if he needed to be sure he was really there. He somehow managed to get an arm around his waist and pull him a little closer, resting his hand on the lower part of Bill's bare back.

"Alright, break it up." came another unfamiliar voice. It was a police officer. "Mr. Grady, you're to be taken back to the station. Please leave the room while I have a little chat with Mr. Preece."

"Bye, Bill." Grady said, squeezing Bill's hand one last time. "They'll let me visit you again soon." he lied.

"Bye, Grady." Bill said with a sad smile.

Grady shut the door behind him, and Bill saw him be lead away by more police.

"William Preece," the officer said, "that's you?"

Bill nodded.

"And the man who was just in here with you, that was Stuart Grady?"

Bill nodded again.

The conversation continued, the officer asking more and more questions, Bill hardly actually saying anything aloud. Bill told the truth the whole time, because he really did trust that Grady would get him out. And he knew that it didn't really matter anyway, he was going down no matter how hard he struggled, so he figured why make it harder for himself.


AUTHOR'S NOTE: I know, it was bad. I didn't realize until I read over it. But it's already written now, and it's not like it can really bring my reputation as a writer down further than it already is, so I figured I might as well post it. As for all you John Simm fans, I have another suggestion for you. The movie, "Forgive and Forget". I watched it other day. I read some reviews, a lot of people don't like it, but I loved it. It might be worth checking out. Anyway, please review and all that XD