This is my first attempt at fan fiction. I hope you like it. I plan to continue with this story, barring terrible reviews. Thanks.

Obligatory Disclaimer: I own none of these characters.


Divya walked in the open kitchen, absently finishing up a text message on her phone. Putting it away in her purse, she looked up to find Evan's back to her, as his full attention was on the AV equipment. Divya sighed audibly, "Evan, what is all of that doing back here? Did you learn nothing from the utter failure of your previous media endeavors?"

Evan craned his neck, looking over his shoulder at her. "No, you and Hank learned nothing because you foolishly threw away a golden opportunity to witness a marketing marvel. But! You now have a rare second chance. You're welcome."

"Right. Where's Hank?"

"Big brother Lawson's finishing up a house call. He'll be a little late. But we can start without him."

Divya frowned, "Evan, what is this supposedly important meeting about, please? Some of us actually have real work to do."

"Would you relax? This will be a short presentation. Short but all kinds of brilliant."

"Mmm hmm." She dropped her purse on the small table and plopped down in one of the two chairs in defeat. "Fine. Dazzle and confound me with your technologically artistic know-how so we can get this over with."

"Okay. Now, one caveat before we get this show on the road: Remember, that I did this because I care, and I generally believe it's in your best interests. Okay?"

Divya's expression slowly melted from one of boredom to caution then finally to outright worry. "What are you talking about?"

Evan nodded once. "Okay! Here we go." He took one deep breath pressing the remote with his thumb. "Divya Katdare, this is your life."

(The video screen lights up and shows two miniature stick figures with the photo realistic versions of the heads of Divya and Raj. Stick figure Raj locks what looks like a ball and chain to stick figure Divya's leg. He then picks her up and drops her in the front passenger seat of a cartoony red corvette. The background changes from plain white into a map of the United States, the corvette resting in place in New York.)

It took a full 5 seconds for the absolute horror to sink into Divya. Her confused and worried expression transformed into utter shock and then right to full-on anger. "Evan!"

Evan shushed her, "Divs, you're ruining the intro."

(The absurd representations of Divya and Raj speed off in the corvette up into the air across the ocean right smack dab into London, England. Upon landing, the Union Jack flag pops up and "God save the Queen" blares out the speakers.)

Evan excitedly gestured to the television and exclaimed, "And there they go! The miracle couple! And by miracle, I mean, it's a miracle that they both haven't figured out how ridiculously wrong this trippy, mom and dad-mandated marital trap really is."

Divya's jaw dropped and her eyes played ping-pong between the nightmare presentation and the architect of the nightmare presentation. "Wh-! Evan! How dare you...! You know absolutely nothing about-!"

Evan just kept on, "Oh! And there they land in the Yook! To find they're equally realized dreams of developing real estate and acquisitions and developm-alarky and blah blah blah."

Divya stared daggers, knives and even more barbaric weapons at Evan.

"And there goes Divya popping out the requisite 2.5 kids." Two and half bundles of joy suddenly popped into being around stick figures Raj and Divya. Sounds of crying babies assaulted Divya's ears. Evan turns slowly on his heel to face Divya with a sober expression. "And all is well in the Katdare world. Or Bandio...pad...padh...padhai. Got it."

Divya stood up sharply and opened fire on Evan, "Thank you so much! Thank you so much for literally illustrating my life and my pain in such crystal clarity and dolby digital sound!"

Evan's eyes widened in excitement, and then he pointed at her, "You just said it! Pain! I heard it! I was there! So were you! Because you said it. Just now! And it came from your lips...Not from my insanely awesome presentation..." Evan briefly looked back fondly to admire his video.

Divya crossed her arms across her chest and whispered icily, "This HankMed "meeting" is over." Divya gave Evan one more venomous stare before snatching her purse, turning around and bolting for the door. Hank walked in, almost running into Divya. He stepped back out of her way. "Divya?" His brows furrowed as she swept past him, and his eyes immediately went to Evan. "What'd you do?"

Evan held up both hands and replied, "What I needed to, Henry, what I needed to." He hiked his thumb over his shoulder to the video still showing Raj, Divya and the 2.5 kids dancing in place.

Hank's eyes followed the direction to the TV, and his mouth immediately curled into a humorous, sour expression. "That's..."

Evan interrupted, "Powerful stuff, I know."

Hank finished, "...horrifying."

Evan clapped Hank on the shoulder as he whisked by him out the door.