I've always loved these things so I decided to make one.
For those who don' know who Kayley Michaels is, she is the main character in my stories Priceless Sweet Chin Music and Actions Speak Volumes. She is the daughter of Shawn Michaels and the wife of John Cena. Destiny and Ayden are their children.
If you would like, you can make short stories out of any of the rules. You have permission. Just send me the link so I can favorite the story!
51 Things Hunter Hearst Helmsley Is Not Allowed To Do;
1. "International Talk like a Pirate Day" is not to be celebrated.
2. Mark Callaway does not have a mascot. If he did, it would not be a weasel, tapeworm, malaria parasite, Portuguese man-of-war, slime mold, or dung beetle.
3. Tell Shawn's grandchildren that the beer in the fridge is actually apple juice.
4. Yell loudly when the grandchildren wake up with hangovers.
5. Furthermore, he is not allowed to talk or go anywhere near Ayden or Destiny. Period.
6. He shouldn't drink three quarts of red food coloring, and scream during a urine test.
7. Snap his fingers in 'Z' formation while using the phrase "Uh-uh. Gir-Rl puh-lease."
8. Slip-n-Slides have no place in the shower stalls.
9. He cannot arrest children for being rude.
10. Steal Mark's Mountain Dew and blame it on Jeff Hardy, even though he is currently working for TNA.
11. Hum the 'Jaws' theme song when Randy Orton walks by.
12. Tell Stephanie that Vince 'touched his poosle', even though he doesn't have one.
13. Tell Shawn he dresses like a hobo.
14. Walk around backstage in a Speedo three sizes too small.
15. Ask if his butt looks big in the three sizes too small Speedo.
16. Refer to Jeff Hardy as 'fire crotch' when his hair is red.
17. Burp the alphabet backwards while doing a headstand in the middle of catering.
18. Tell rookies that he will make them an honorary member or DX if they can a picture of Shawn naked.
19. When Shawn finds out about this, Hunter is not allowed to scream, "YOU WERE INTO THAT KINKY SEX LAST NIGHT!" near the Gorilla position where the fans can hear.
20. Steal the Diva's bras and wear them over his shirt.
21. Switch John Cena's boxers with Big Show's and freeze them in a freezer.
22. Tell the rookies that if they don't make it, they become the meal next week for catering.
23. Save his armpit hair in a jar and tell everyone it was Shawn's hair that was left on the pillow.
24. For the love of god, don't talk to Sheamus about American politics.
25. Tell Ted DiBiase Jr. that he might have been a girl in a former life because of all his 'bitching'.
26. Run around backstage passing out small windmills and telling people to 'blow him'.
27. Randomly yell "But Kayley is the only woman who fulfilled my needs!" in public.
28. Throw Randy Orton and Kayley Michaels in a closet and take bets on who will come out alive.
29. Refer to Vince McMahon as "Darth Vader".
30. Wave a 'magic wand' when the production truck has a glitch.
31. Not allowed duct tape, no matter how long he begs.
32. Elevators are not toys.
33. Elevators are not portals to other worlds.
34. Yelling "Fire In The Hole!" whenever a Diva is on their period.
35. Lasers are for pointing and that's it.
36. Cuckoo clocks are not allowed in the executive conference room, the Michaels household, the Cena household, or the Orton household.
37. The elves in the back stage's "winter holiday" display must remain unmolested.
38. Tossing Shawn's and Mark's personal items off the roof is not an accepted form of "stress testing."
39. His proper title is "The Game, Triple H" not "Princess Anastasia".
40. Not allowed to get silicone breast implants and hand them out to the Diva's.
41. May no longer perform his now (in)famous "Barbie Girl Dance".
42. Sheamus is not after his "lucky charms".
43. Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of his actions.
44. Our medic is called "Steve Mastiff", not "Dr. Feelgood".
45. He does not have super-powers and see through clothes, even if he did guess the correct color of Randy Orton's boxers.
46. The following words and phrases may not be used in the presence of any Superstar - Budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this company and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, all Southerner's are latent homosexuals, Tantric yoga, my dick cost the late night fee and your dick has the HIV, Irish hooker, carpet muncher, we've all got lube now, slut puppy, or any references to squid.
47. He is not authorized to prescribe any form of medication.
48. Nerve gas is not funny.
49. Vince McMahon is not old enough to have fought in the civil war, and he should stop implying that he did.
50. Ted DiBiase or Cody Rhode are not Randy Orton's "bitch".
"Do you think that covers everything?" John asked as he tilted his head sideways at the mounted paper.
"It better be." Randy Orton responded.
Kayley finished taping the document to the wall. "Do you think he'll follow it?"
Ted shrugged, making Shawn groan. "More than likely. If not, we can always take that stuffed animal away from him again." Shawn replied.
They were silent for a moment, trying hard not to respond to the calling of their names, more importantly Randy's and John's. Unable to endure it any longer since it was getting closer and more annoying, John turned around to face Hunter who had just walked up to meet them. "What Hunter?"
Hunter came up, holding a laptop and pointing to the screen. "I didn't know you and Randy had gay sex in a McDonald's parking lot."
John's eyes got wide and Randy shook his head. "What are you reading?"
Hunter slowly backed away. "Nothing…"
Shawn walked over and looked at the screen. "Are you serious?"
"DON'T JUDGE ME!" Hunter cried walking off.
Shawn grabbed the pen in Kayley's hand, leaning down to write another rule.
51. Hunter is not allowed to read Fanfiction even though some of the fans make elaborate visions.