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On the first day of the school year the students of Hogwarts looked down at their timetables with a mixture of confusion and trepidation. The students looking most confused though were the fifth years because you see , their first class of the new year was : Moral Values. They didn't really have any idea what the class was about. After seeing the word "moral" , Draco Malfoy had sneered and Hermione frowned. She thought it would be useful for everyone to learn about moral values.
She was very wrong.
The fifth years gathered around a classroom on the second floor , waiting for their teacher to show up. They really didn't know who was teaching them. All the Gryffindors prayed that it wasn't Snape , even some of the Slytherin's were hoping it wasn't (they hadn't really taken well to Snape-the-nun.) . Hermione , using the power of deductive reasoning , concluded that it would be Snape that was teaching them. After all they were learning about 'moral values" and who was more suited to teaching that than a nun?
Hermione was right.
Snape flung open the classroom door , hardly looking sinister in his nun's outfit. The students snickered loudly and Snape scowled unhappily.
"Enter!" he barked at the students. Far from being frightened at his seething expression , the students fell into hysterical giggles , almost falling over as they entered the classroom.
They took their seats and waited for class to begin. At the front of the class , Snape scrawled two words on a blackboard , "Moral Values." He then turned around a faced his class , "I pray that you dunderheads will grasp this subject quickly , because Hell will not match my fury when I find out that I have to continue this subject for another term merely because your feeble minds cannot understand and put in the effort. I will treat this class like another other of mine and demand that you give respect at all times. Any student that fails to comply will be given detention for the rest of the term."
Snape's eyes rested on Harry , who was fighting to keep a grin on his face. Harry had just shared a joke with Ron and it went a little like this , "What's black , white and red?"
"I dunno mate." said Ron.
"A nun that's been hit by a car!." whispered Harry. Ron snorted with laughter. Hermione shot then an annoyed glance.
Snape narrowed his eyes before continuing , "The Headmaster has requested that I teach you about moral values , Catholic moral values."
The students remained silent , looking confused. It was clear that very little of them had learnt about religion before.
"Do any of you know what the biggest value is?" asked Snape.
Not even Hermione's hand shot up.
Snape scowled , " It is purity."
Everyone still looked confused , failing to understand.
Snape huffed , "Abstinence?"
Someone in the back of the classroom coughed.
Snape was about to hit his head against the wall , "No sex before marriage?"
Finailly the penny dropped. Comprehension dawned upon the students' faces , followed by fear , and shock.
Snape was going to give them sex education?
Neville fainted out of fear and Ron said to Harry ,"What's black and white and red and has trouble getting through a revolving door?"
"Tell me." replied Harry.
"A nun with a spear through her head!"