Another story, I need to get on top of the ones I already have. Oh well I'll split my time.

I thought I would be able to update quicker as exams are over. First day back I get an essay, 25 questions and a test to revise for. So they may not be as often.

I really hope you like this (:


"I am getting married." Edward chimed, to all of his friends and family. The whole welcoming party went silent.

Time that split second froze, the man I was hopelessly in love with was getting married, and it wasn't to me, I'll never be the one. All those years, flashed before my eyes. I met him when I was 5 and he was 7, I went to kindergarten with his sister Alice, as the years went on I became just as close to him as I was to Alice.

I was 16 when I realised I was in love, that was 9 years ago, he went away to University and then that feeling erupted in me, like a volcano burning my soul alight. I ignored it, he was away and I was in dreary Forks, it was best to put it aside. It seemed successful until I was 19, then the fire was reignited when he kissed me but he claimed it was a mistake as he was already taken.

I was far too shy, to tell him how I felt, he went from girl to girl oblivious to how it was tearing my soul apart, all of my waiting, my incompetence to just tell him how I felt led up to this moment. I never told anyone, not even Alice therefore I hoped it would be easier to suppress, hide it away in my heart.

The time resumed itself, I sat next to Alice who ran up to her brother and hugged him. "Tanya is so great." She told him. "You're perfect for each other." Those words cut deep, I was nothing compared to him, nothing at all and especially Tanya and to top it all off, she was perfectly nice in fact, she was his perfect match.

I had to play cool, go home and cry into my pillow later. I stood up and smiled to him, "Oh, Edward that is so amazing. You're so well suited." I lied. It would have been so much better, if he still lived in Seattle then he wouldn't be rubbed in front of my face every single day.

Then Carlisle walked to his son and asked, "Is this why you moved back to Forks then?"

"Yes, I had a good childhood in Forks, Tanya and I thought it would be a nice place to start a family." He smiled. Then my heart sunk. Family? Children? They are already discussing children. Now I knew he was far too gone to ever be mine.

A whole swim of people flocked towards Edward, I was pulled to the back. I was forgotten about, he never even replied to me. That did hurt. I knew this would be my life from now on, looking from the outside, trying to salvage any little attention he gave me.

I decided that the feeling of rejection was too much, I sneakily crept out the door. The sea of people separated as I left, then I heard Edward's velvet voice call to me. "Bella, where you going."

I was already half way out of the door so I pretended not to hear what he was saying until I heard his speeding footsteps behind me. I was half way to my truck when I felt him grab my arm. "Bella, why you leaving so early?"

"I have a busy day tomorrow and I am not much of a party animal." I lied.

It is because of you. Don't marry her, I love you.

Words I wish I could say, but I didn't want to jeopardise the minuscule part of his heart that I had. "Anyhow." He smiled. "You know how Alice has to be a bridesmaid, and you can't exactly be one of my grooms men." He laughed. "I convinced Tanya for you to be a bridesmaid. I mean you are practically my sister."

Sister. Oh gosh, the worst of words that could have come out of his mouth. I mean best friend, would have a chance, but sister. "Thanks, you know I don't like attention though so I'll consider it, but I don't know." I lied.

"Thanks, Bella." He hugged me, I felt a single tear fall from my eye.

"Look Edward, I've got to go, so I'll see you in a few days." I walked the rest of the way to my car and speeded the whole way home to cry in silence.

"Well, let's hope it isn't in the hospital Bella, I know what you're like." He laughed then kissed my cheek. "Bye Bella."

"See you around Cullen." I played as cool as I can. Then he walked away from me, something I was going have to get use that.

I walked through the door, completely ignoring Charlie and went up to my room to cry. I cried into my pillow.

Why doesn't he love me?

Why did I never tell him?

Should I have told him, how I felt when we kissed?

What am I going to do without the hope that we can be together?

I slipped into a sleep on my pillow, I woke up that morning I could still feel the dried tears on my face. I looked to my phone to see if I have any messages. It read one message from Edward. I dreaded having to read it, but I knew I had to.

Tanya is in town, take her out for the day. I know you'll give into being one of the bridesmaid so can you try and get to know her better. For me? –Edward

I knew I had to agree. I knew I had to stand at the top of that church smiling, watching as he married the woman of his dreams. I wiped the tears off of my face, about a minute after Edward sent me another text.

So you've either been sleeping like the heavy sleeper that you are, or you're totally against the idea of something like this, on the plus side Alice is going will that sway. – Edward

He is not going to let this go. I can't see Tanya he smiling, her beauty whilst I am plain frumpy Bella. I waited a few minutes to text back, I didn't want to see too eager even though I was.

Sure. I am not promising to be a bridesmaid but I will try. – Bella

Bella I truly love you at times like this. Thank you it will make Tanya and Alice so happy. – Edward

If only the love he meant was the one I was harbouring for him. I was to meet Alice and Tanya at port angles at noon, it was 11:15. Crap. Put on some plain jeans and a comical T-shirt.

Bella you're 25, stop this put on some lady clothes. Show him what he is missing.

What is the point of even trying no matter what I do, I would look like a mongrel compared to her. I was about to leave the house, until I saw Alice there. "Come on Bella we're going to port angles."

When I got in Alice's car and she started to drive, she kept talking about Edward and Tanya, how perfect they were for each other. Alice was my best friend shouldn't she should have realised?

I turned to the window to silently cry, so she couldn't hear. She turned to me, and then looked in the window to see the reflection of my tears. She drove off to a side road and then parked.

"Bella, what is wrong?" She asked me concerned.

Tell her, she may be able to help us.

My brain told me, but I would never do that. It was so embarrassing to even admit that I liked a guy so out of my league.

"Nothing." Then even more tears erupted.

"Obviously there is, tell me. I promise I won't tell a soul." She promised me. When have I ever told anyone?" She asked me, she never has told anyone. "Tell me."

"I can't, I physically can't." I attempted to explain.

"Yes, you can." She challenged me.

I was about to give in, the burden could be shared. "I-I-I, in lo-lov." I stuttered.

"Spit it out Bella." She demanded me.

"I love Edward." I confessed. "I have since I've been 16, 9 years Alice." I broke down even more. "He sees me as a sister nothing else!" I exasperated. "It hurts so much, it hurts so much."


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