Edward can feel the pain coming in waves off of Jacob. He doesn't particularly care for him, but he's indebted to him for taking care of Bella while he was gone. And right now he's hurting, hurting so bad and so deep, nothing will make it right, not right away. He doesn't need to be an empath to feel it. He can read his broken thoughts, hear the heartache in them.
"Jacob?" he asks softly, coming to stop in front of him. This is dangerous. He's on Quileute land, he shouldn't be here, especially if he's the cause of Jacob's pain, even when he desperately wants to make it better. He can't figure out why he even cares. This is crazy.
Jacob's sitting on a log, knees drawn up, iPod on. One ear bud is hanging out, and he turns to face Edward. Edward can't explain the ache he feels for him when he sees the broken look in his eyes.
"Nayeli," Jacob whispers softly and stands. His voice is so raw it makes Edward's throat hurt.
He doesn't understand what Jacob's said, but the look on his face gives Edward more than enough information. He's suddenly confused. Jacob's thoughts don't give him any more insight.
Jacob holds his arms out to Edward who recoils slightly. He doesn't feel bad enough to hug him. But when the rejection registers on his face, Edward can't take it. He steps closer to Jacob and lets the teen wrap his arms around him.
Jacob is impossibly warm, and despite his build, he's incredibly comfortable. They fit together in ways Edward is sure they shouldn't. He tries to focus on everything he hates about him, but it's hard, especially when Jacob just stares into his eyes. He can read a finality in them that's disheartening to him, he can just imagine how it feels for Jacob.
"Nayeli," he says again softly and takes Edward's hand, pulling him farther out on La Push beach.
Jacob's thoughts are rushing and Edward can't catch them, so he gives up.
He's still confused when one of Jacob's big hands lands on his waist.
"Jacob…what are you doing?"
"Nayeli," is his only answer as he pulls Edward a little closer.
"Jacob, no," Edward sighs.
Jacob frowns deeply and Edward sighs again. He can hear the undercurrent of Jacob's thoughts. He just wants to dance. Edward can't figure out exactly why, but he's pretty certain just being close to another person right now and being able to just lose yourself in a rhythm is part of it. He's mentally kicking himself for even agreeing to this, but he can feel how bad Jacob needs it. He understands Jacob's need for love, his need to feel needed, cared about. He can't not give this to him.
"We can dance, okay? Just…let me go."
Jacob's still frowning but he drops his hand from Edward's waist. Edward makes up for it by letting Jacob lead the dance, which he immediately thinks is bad idea. The movement of Jacob's body is just about the most sensual thing Edward's experienced, which, considering how much he has, is saying something. Jacob's body has a natural rhythm, unlike any music he's ever heard or any dance he's ever seen. If composed, he's positive it'd be just as beautiful and amazing as the movement itself. He thinks he could write it, is almost compelled too. And that scares him.
Jacob keeps their eyes locked and Edward takes one of his big hands in his own. Jacob laces their fingers and brings their bodies closer as they dance. Every movement brushes their hips together and Edward is getting too wrapped up for his own good. He knows it, can feel it happening. It's like a slow motion accident-he knows it's coming, yet powerless to stop it.
He watches Jacob's face carefully. The moonlight shining into his eyes makes them an almost honey-colored brown, a shade similar to Edward's own, and he has to admit it's hypnotizing. Everything about Jacob is hypnotizing right now. He knows he's walking into dangerous territory, but he's not stopping it either.
Jacob takes a shuddery breath. He's afraid, Edward can hear it running through his mind, afraid to even breathe, that this is all a dream. Edward squeezes his hand in reassurance. Jacob brings their faces closer and his hand on Edward's back moves lower.
"Nayeli," he says softly as he brushes his nose against Edward's.
Edward doesn't know how to respond. He's figured it out. He pulls away a little, but that just puts Jacob's body on a wider view, and it holds him there.
"Please," Jacob pleads, still dancing. Edward's eyes wash over him, and it feels so utterly intimate watching Jacob move. Edward realizes he's dancing just for him. "Don't leave," he breathes out.
"I won't…I won't go anywhere."
Jacob seems sated by that and pulls their bodies together again.
Edward can feel the love flowing through Jacob. He can't quite reciprocate it, but he's not afraid to feel it, to accept it, to want it.
"Que Quowle," Jacob whispers and kisses Edward softly. Edward doesn't pull away. This is all truly unfair he thinks. Jacob's heat, the movement of his body. Then his kiss, his mouth being impossibly soft and warm and so damn welcoming. But there's also power, a power Bella could never have, a power Edward likes. Jacob is strong, they're equals. Jacob can take what Edward gives and return it. He needs that. He can't always be the strong one, he can't always be in charge. He knows Jacob knows that, understands it. He also knows he shouldn't, it's unfair to both of them, but he kisses back anyway. He drops Jacob's hand only to wrap his arm securely around his waist. This feels too right to be wrong even though he knows it is.
Jacob makes a soft sound and tugs on the hem of Edward's shirt. This is wrong, so wrong. But Edward can't help it. He's strong, very strong, but not strong enough to resist this. He's not strong enough to fight a love that's this powerful, this consuming, but so different from the love Bella offers. There will be more give than take, more than just a desperate clinging need, more than just him doing most of the heavy lifting. He can't resist this, he refuses.
Edward makes love to him right there on the beach. Jacob is completely pliable for him. He lets Edward do whatever he wants, but he's by no means upset by it. He's willing to have Edward any way he can. He wants him like this, just for him. He doesn't care about the consequences, as callous as that sounds. Bella is his best friend and he never wanted to hurt her, but Edward...he loves Edward more than he ever could've loved Bella. It's a thin line between love and hate, one easily crossed, and Jacob just doesn't have it in himself to keep hating Edward, to keep pretending he does. He's wanted this for too long and he's done denying himself.
Edward lays on him after, stroking his hair. He knows they should move, leave. He's still unsafe here, and he's putting Jacob in danger. But when he moves, Jacob tightens his thighs around Edward's hips. He's not ready to move, for this to be over, and Edward doesn't feel bad about obliging him. He kisses Jacob gently. "Que Quowle," he murmurs softly. He's not completely ignorant to the Quileute language, he knew what that meant and he knows what he's asking.
"Nayeli," is Jacob's quiet response.
Edward rests their foreheads together. "Nayeli," he whispers back.
Jacob smiles softly and kisses him.
He's still hurting, but he knows he's not alone in this. He never will be. And that makes it all worth it.