Author's Note: I was searching for crossovers between these two shows and I was sadly disappointed when I only found three, so I wrote my own.
This an AU one shot set 10 years after the second season of Dharma & Greg and at the end of Criminal Minds' third season. I played a little with the time lines. Greg and Dharma broke up in the end of season 2, so most of the things from the following seasons didn't happen, except for some specific like events Harry being born and the car accident where Dharma fracturated her hip. Concerning Criminal Minds, I didn't change much, except Hotch and Haley haven't been together since highschool and they only got married after he returned to Quatico.
Normally authors use Greg as Aaron's real identity, in my case, I did the opposite.
The last note, English is not my first language and I had no beta, so forgive any mistakes you find in here.
If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me!
Listen to the Universe or It Will Smack You on the Head
Dharma, with the assistance of Abby and Jane, was cleaning her closet, making space for Charlie's things so he could moved in this afternoon, when a shoe box fell from the top shelf right on her head.
"Ouch!" She exclaimed, rubbing the top of her blonde head and alternating looking down at the mess of papers around her feet (the box's contents had spilled over when it hit the ground.) and up, towards the shelf where the box previously rested, trying to figure out how in Earth that damn thing had fallen.
"Oh honey, look!" Abby exclaimed with a nostalgic tone while waving a picture under Dharma's nose.
The yoga teacher picked the rectangular piece of photographic paper and stared at a younger version of herself on the day she married Greg (not the real wedding, the pompous one that Kitty had insisted on organizing). Dharma felt her chest clench a bit as she stared at the photograph. Lately, she didn't seem to get Greg out of her mind. She didn't know why really. Dharma loved Charlie. He was a wonderful and understanding man who loved her very much and whom she loved too.
"I guess I forgot about these after he left." She declared, clearing her throat and she returned the picture to Abby.
"You mean after he left when you said you never wanted to see him again in this life or any other you two might have?" Jane piped in with a little smirk. Dharma turned at her and stuck her tongue out; but the other blonde had a point. She had send Greg away and he did just as she had asked and never returned.
Dharma picked another picture from the ground, this time one taken in their first romantic Valentine's Day weekend and sat down on her bed with a sigh, her finger trailing over her ex-husband's face.
"You miss him, don't you?" Abby asked, sitting beside her daughter, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.
"Most of the time, I don't really think about it, but lately…" She sighed again. "I've been dreaming about him a lot."
"Well honey, it sounds to me that the Universe is trying to tell something."
"Yeah…" Jane agreed with another smirk. "It's telling you, you want to have hot monkey love sex with the ex."
"Yes, that too." Abby said with an amused smile. "But I think it wants you to know that you obviously have unfinished business to work out with Greg, before you can move on with Charlie."
"You think so?" Dharma turned to her mother with a searching look. That thought had crossed her mind.
"Yes, I do." Abby replied with a nodded. "I know he hurt you very much with his lies and, well, Larry and I didn't always agreed with the ways he chose to do things, but he was your soul mate."
"You think I should seek him out?" Dharma asked unsure. The thought had crossed her mind a couple of times before, but she had always preferred to ignore it.
"That's something only you can decide, honey." Abby replied, pressing a kiss against her forehead and standing up. "Come on Jane; let's take these bags to the van."
Jane nodded, grabbing one of the bags Abby had pointed out and followed the older woman out of Dharma's apartment, leaving the blonde to run her mother's words through her head, over and over again until she fell asleep, still holding the picture in her hands.
Someone called out her name softly and kissed her lips. Dharma smiled happily, lids fluttering open, her blue eyes meeting Greg's brown ones. He smiled too and kissed her again.
"Dharma." He whispered in a deep, loving tone that made butterflies flutter in her stomach. Something Charlie never managed to do.
"Greg." She whispered back. He shook his head.
"No. Not Greg." He replied in the same quiet tone and Dharma frowned in confusion.
"What are you talking about? You're Greg." He just shook his head and looked behind himself. Dharma followed his eyes towards the door and watched as a ten years younger version of herself busted inside the room, making a bee line to the bedroom. She followed quickly, arriving just in time to see Greg getting out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around his waist.
"Hey honey." He greeted cheerfully, leaning in to kiss her. Dharma just took a step back, avoiding the peck. Greg frowned, slightly hurt. "What's wrong?"
"You're lying to me!" Dharma spat out.
"Wh-wh-what you're talking about?"
"Aha!" She exclaimed her finger point at him accusingly. "You don't stutter unless you're hiding something!" Greg sighed and nodded, looking completely defeat and tired. He head to the bed and sat down, patting the spot beside him, silently requesting her to join him. Dharma walked over and sat down. He took a deep breath before starting to talk.
"First I want you to know, that no matter what, I love you and I always will." Greg started, taking her hand between his and squeezing slightly.
"You didn't fly to New York to take a statement last week, did you?" Dharma asked in a quiet, hurtful tone. Greg shook his head slowly.
"No, I didn't." He admitted softly. "I flew over to Quantico to talk to my director." Greg took another deep breath. "I'm not an U.S Attorney, Dharma. I work for the FBI."
Dharma's mouth fell open in shock and she pulled her hand out of his and stood up. That wasn't exactly what she was waiting to hear and she wasn't exactly sure if it was better or worse than learning that Greg was having an affair.
"For the past three years I've been deep undercover trying to catch a serial killer who's been targeting convicted fellows and I finally did, last month." He explained and Dharma suddenly understood the constant travels and the secretive calls in the middle of the night.
"So, you're like James Bond?" She asked, sitting beside him again. Greg smiled sadly.
"Not quite so glamorous." He was watching her from the corner of his eyes, trying to read her expression and anticipate her reaction to his next statement. "My real name is Aaron Hotchner."
He saw when she gasped, her head snapping sideways to face him. The hurt was written all over her face, tears were glistening on her beautiful blue eyes.
"Dharma…" Greg reached over for her, but she pulled back.
"You lied about everything?" She asked and accused in a tiny, fragile voice, her arms wrapping around herself in an attempt to shield herself from more hurt.
"No, not everything!" Greg protested. "I never lied about how I felt about you. I love you Dharma; that will never change, not matter if my name is Greg or Aaron."
"Are Kitty and Edward your real parents?" He flinched visibly and shook his head.
"My father died when I was 20; my mother lives in Virginia. I also have a brother, his name is Sean." Greg stood up, reaching for Dharma, but she moved away, avoiding his touch. "Dharma…" he tried again and got the same response.
"I want you out of here, out of my life when I come back to the apartment." She turned around and ran away, leaving Greg all by himself in the room, looking heartbroken and lost.
The currently Dharma felt a pang of guilt as she watched Greg move towards the closet to pick up his clothes. She could have dealt with that situation a little better, but she had been so angry at the time, that she couldn't stand the thought of being in the same room as Greg, let alone listening to him explain himself. Maybe she should have.
"Dharma." She heard him call her again and turned around, searching for the origin of the voice. Suddenly she was standing in an empty, dark street she didn't really recognize.
"Dharma." Greg called out again and Dharma finally caught sign of him, walking backwards towards a black car.
"Greg, wait." She ran towards him, but the distance didn't seem to shorten.
"Dharma..." He called out a third time and stopped beside the SUV. He looked older, his face marked with frown lines. He was dressed in a dark suit, white shirt, and burgundy tie with little white dots; a gun holster hung from his waist.
She was finally catching up with him, just two more steps and Dharma could finally be in his arms. That was when the car exploded and she woke up, screaming Greg's name.
Dharma struggled against the pair of strong arms trying to hold her down, still yelling for Greg. In the distance, she could faintly hear a familiar voice frantically calling her name, asking her to open her eyes. Slowly, she did, her body immediately relaxing when she saw Charlie's worried face hovering over hers. Once she stilled in his arms, he let her go.
"Are you okay?" He asked, concern and fear showing on his eyes. Dharma swallowed down the lump on her throat and nodded.
"Yes, yes." She sat up and nodded. "I had a horrible dream."
"I noticed." Charlie commented, sitting by her side. "This Greg must be one ugly fellow to get such a reaction." He joked weakly, trying to pry more information about the man his girlfriend was yelling for.
"What?" Dharma asked confused, turning to face him.
"That's the name you were yelling, Greg." Charlie hesitated for a second. "Who is he?"
Dharma looked at the handsome face of the man beside her, then to the picture still clenched on her hand.
"He was my husband." She stood up in a jump. "Something terrible is going to happen to him. I have to stop it." Dharma hurried out of the room, Charlie hot on her heels.
"Dharma, what are you talking about?" He asked when she stopped by the front door to grab her keys and jacket.
"I dreamt his car exploded. I have to warn him."
"Dharma," Charlie started in a snort. "It was just a dream."
"No!" She protested fiercely. "It wasn't just a dream. It's going to happen. Once I dreamt his plane was going to crash and it did! He was alright, but still… I need to find him."
"But what about the move?" Charlie asked as she opened the door. "I'm supposed to move in today."
"So move in." Dharma exclaimed impatiently. "Bring your stuff over, put it wherever you want. Get Larry to help. I need to go now."
Dharma didn't wait for him to say another word, to protest more. She just slipped out of the door, bypassing the elevator (it would take too damn long) and heading for the service stairs. She needed to find Pete, he would know about Greg's whereabouts, or at least, he would know someone who did.
Dharma shouldn't really be surprised when she found Pete in a strip club a couple of blocks from the new office he was working for. He had a beer in front of him and a busty blonde on his lap when she dropped on the seat by his side. He jumped slightly in surprise.
"Pete!" She exclaimed.
"Dharma! What are you doing here?" He asked baffled at her presence. It's been so long since he had seen her last.
"I need to find Greg. I think he's in danger. I had this dream…"
"Like the one with the airplane?" He cut in, his eyes wide.
"Yes, just like that." She agreed readily.
"He works for the FBI." Pete told her, his attention waving back to the blonde on his lap.
"I know that Pete." Dharma rolled her eyes. "But where?"
"Quantico." He replied distracted. "Something, something Unit." Dharma glared at the lawyer.
"Thanks! That's very helpful." She said sarcastically.
"Why don't you just call the Quantico HQ and ask to speak to him. Just say you wanna talk to Agent Hotchner." As he said that, his eyes never left the stripper dancing on his lap.
"That's actually a good idea." Dharma grinned and pressed a kiss on his cheek. "Thanks Pete."
She bolted out of the club, not being able to make the call inside because of the noise, but as soon as she reached the sidewalk, Dharma pulled out her cell phone and called the telephone operator.
"Oh hi, can you connect me with the FBI Headquarters in Quantico?" She hurried to say once the operator asked how she could help.
"One moment, please." The woman requested and Dharma waited impatiently, listening to the dial tone and rocking on the ball of her feet. She let out a sigh of relief when a different female voice spoke on the other side.
"FBI Headquarters in Quantico?"
"Yes." The woman replied. "How may I help you?"
"So I'm trying to contact an agent who works there…" Dharma started.
"Which department ma'am?"
"That's kind of the thing, I don't know. But he's really handsome, tall with dark hair, brown eyes with flecks of green, a deep voice that make your knees go weak and a really great ass…" She described him, smiling wide at the mental image of Greg her words had just formed.
"Hmm, ma'am…" The woman on the other side started to say a little hesitantly. "You could just give me his name."
"Oh right." Dharma internally flinched. If Greg heard about that, he was going to be so embarrassed. "Aaron Hotchner."
She heard the woman type on the other side of the line for a couple of seconds before she returned. "Could it be SSA Hotchner, Behavior Analysis Unit Chief?" She hesitated for a moment. "He fits your description."
"Chief?" Dharma grinned, feeling proud of her husband. "That must be him."
"Alright, I'll patch you through." Another couple of minutes filled with silence in the line before the call connected again.
"Behavior Analysis Unit, Agent Anderson speaking." A man spoke politely.
"Hi, my name is Dharma Finkelstein and I really need to talk to Aaron Hotchner."
"Sorry ma'am, SSA Hotchner is unavailable."
"But it's urgent." She was almost whining. So close, so, so close. "When can I talk to him?"
"He's out of town working in a case, so it might take a while."
"I can't disclose that information, ma'am." Dharma sighed heavily, starting to feel frustrated.
"Listen, it's really important for me to talk to him. It's a matter of life and death." She heard the slightly hesitation on the other side.
"What is this about?"
"His car is going to explode. I dreamt it." She replied urgently and heard sigh on the other side.
"I'll give Agent Hotchner your message when he returns. Have a nice day, Miss Finkelstein."
"Wait!" Dharma asked, but it was too late, the call had already been ended. She had been so close to talk to Greg and warn him. What could she do now?
Without really thinking it through, Dharma drove to her parents' house; she needed a bit of comfort after her frustrated attempts of contacting Greg and maybe Abby could put her mind at ease.
As soon as she stepped inside her childhood home, she found her little brother Harry playing with a small miniature van on the couch. Dharma laid a kiss on the top of his head and moved to the kitchen where she could hear her mother moving about.
Abby took one look at Dharma, at her lost expression, at the pain in her eyes and immediately pulled the younger woman into a tight embrace. Just what the blonde needed in the moment.
"What happened, honey?" She asked, guiding Dharma towards the kitchen table so both of them could have seats.
"I had this horrible dream about Greg, Abby. His car exploded and he was hurt and I know it will happen, I can feel it. So I tried to contact him, but he's out of town for a case and no one will tell me where he is… I'm so scared." Dharma babbled in one single breath, her fear catching up with her.
Abby pulled her daughter for another hug, before standing up and moving to the cupboards next to the fridge. She shuffled around for a couple of minutes before returning to Dharma's side and pushing a small, rectangular piece of paper towards her. The blonde reached over and took the card.
"It's his personal cell phone number." Abby clarified her voice with just a little hint of guilt.
"Where did you get this?" Dharma looked up from the card, back to her mother.
"Remember when you had that accident and fractured your hip?" Dharma nodded. "Well, he heard about the accident and came over to check on you, see how you were doing. He stayed until the doctors said you'd be fine."
"I don't remember seeing him there."
"That's because he didn't want to upset you, so he would only visit when you were asleep." Abby grabbed Dharma's hand and squeezed it, smiling sadly at her daughter. "He was so worried, Dharma, he didn't want leave you, but at the same time, he didn't want to disrespect your wishes of never seeing him again."
"Why didn't you tell me this?"
"Because it happened when you were still so mad at him that you're only referred him as The One Who Shall Not Be Named and afterwards, it just felt too awkward to say it. Anyway, he gave me his card before leaving and we kind of kept in touch. Your father doesn't know of course, he doesn't approve of his job, but I talk to him at least twice a month, updating him about me, Larry, Harry and you of course."
Dharma felt something warm spread over her chest as her mother finish her speech. "So all this time and he still asks about me?"
"Of course he does, dear. He loves you." Abby smiled at her and took her face between her hands. "The Universe put the two of you together for a reason. You are soul mates, honey. He will always love you, just like I know you will always love him. Now take the card and call him."
Dharma smiled back at Abby through her tearful eyes and nodded, before taking out her cell phone and dialing the pen-written number on the back of the card. She held her breath as long as it rang. After the third one, he answered it with a short 'Hotchner', his voice rougher and lower than she remembered, but it was definitely her Greg.
"Greg." Dharma breathed out impulsively on the speaker and could hear when his breath hitched on the other side.
"Dharma." He replied in a quiet tone. "It's… hmm… good to hear you."
"Yes, it's to hear you too." She smiled, feeling her chest constricting. God she had missed him so much. "Where are you?"
"New York." He answered automatically. "I'm working, why? Something happened? Are you okay?"
"Yes, I'm fine; it's not me I'm worried about. Listen Greg, whatever you do, don't get into a black SUV, please. It's going to explode. I dreamt it and you know how my dreams are."
Dharma could feel the way he hesitated and just prayed he would believe her. Last time, he ignored her feelings and his plane crashed. Luckily, he got out okay, but this time things could turn out not so well. She heard when Greg took a deep breath, as if bracing himself for something.
"Hold on a second," He said to her, before moving the cell phone away from his mouth. "Kate! Wait! Don't..."
Dharma didn't get to hear the rest of the sentence; Greg's voice is drowned out by the sound of the explosive blast, before the line went dead. In that moment, her heart stopped, everything stopped. That awful sound kept repeating in her head like in a loop and her mind supplied her with images of Greg hurt, bleeding, dead. She felt the silent tears start to run down her cheeks.
"Honey… honey, what's wrong?" Abby's voice reached her ears as if coming from far away and it took Dharma a second to manage to turn her and face the older woman.
"It exploded." She replied in an emotionless tone. "His car exploded. I heard it."
"Oh my God!"
Dharma saw Abby's eyes widening in shock and wondered why she couldn't react, why it suddenly felt like she was completely dead inside. Maybe she was. She may have lost a piece herself, a part of her soul in that explosion.
"Dharma?" Her mother called out, eyes filled with worry.
"Dharma, are you alright?" Abby's warm hand closed over hers. She lowered her gaze to it, but she wasn't really seeing it.
"No, I don't think I am." Dharma answered after a long silence. "What do I do now, Abby?"
"I don't know sweetheart, what do you want to do?" Abby gently squeezed her hand, as if trying to get a response out of her.
"I think… I think I should go over there and find him, even if he's…" It was that thought that made Dharma snap. Suddenly she was flooded with this unbearable pain that made her scream. Reality finally sank in, along with denial. "Greg isn't dead, he can't be. No way."
Dharma jumped out of the kitchen chair and ran out of the house. She needed to get to New York as fast as she could. She needed to see Greg; to see that he was alive and alright. He had to be alive and alright.
His head hurt, his body ached and having this goddamned conversation with Morgan wasn't helping things at all, but Hotch knew, by the way the younger man was standing, that he wasn't going to let go, he wasn't going to let it rest. So he took a deep breath and turned to face him.
"My life matters to me." Hotch started, fixing his gaze on Morgan. "And I have and always will entrust you with it." He hesitated for a second. "Would you do the same for me?"
Hotch watched as Morgan looked back at him, thoughtful, considering, maybe even a bit ashamed. He knew the answer to that question as much as the other man and that was exactly why Hotch hadn't given the recommendation. He turned towards the car, to give Derek a moment.
"Still wanna drive?" He asked after a moment's pause. It was an offer of truce and he knew Morgan had understood as such when he used the small remote to unlock the car.
Hotch stepped towards the vehicle, but before he could actually get in, a very familiar voice shouted a name he hadn't heard for a long time. The phone call returned to his mind and he realized it hadn't been a hallucination. Again, she shouted his name. Morgan turned to look, a frown of confusion marrying his features, but still Hotch hesitated. He didn't want to dare to hope. She called out a third time and finally he turned around just in time to find himself with an armful of a blonde. Her scent flooded his nose and Aaron breathed in deep the familiar smell, hugging Dharma as tightly as she was hugging him with both arms and legs.
"You're alive." She mumbled against his shoulder, the wetness of her tears seeping through his thick wool jacket. "You're alive!"
"Yes, I am, sweetheart, yes, I am." Hotch reassured, pressing kisses against her golden head. He met Morgan's shocked and confused gaze over Dharma's shoulder, but just shook his head, silently promising an explanation later.
After a couple of minutes, Dharma let her legs drop back to the ground, but her arms remained around his neck. She couldn't let go of him completely just yet. He stared down her beloved face; a face that filled his dreams, even when he was still married to Haley. He traced her cheek with his thumb and gave her a slightly pained smile. He had missed her so much.
"Hey, you." She whispered, breath ghosting over his lips.
"Hey, you." He whispered back. "Nice outfit."
When he uttered those words, it was like Dharma snapped out of her relief-induced trance. She looked down at herself and caught sign of the air stewardess uniform. She pushed back from him and smacked his arm.
"Do you have any idea how worried I was when I heard that explosion? I couldn't move, Greg. My heart stopped for a second." Tears overflowed her eyes again. Hotch pulled closer, until her head was resting against his chest, her ear pressed against his beating heart.
"I'm sorry." He whispered. She pulled back again and met his eyes.
"And when I manage to move again, I rushed to the airport to get a flight, but they were all canceled, except one. It was completely booked and I couldn't get a ticket. I was so desperate that I kinda locked a flight attendant in the restroom and stole her uniform so I could get in the plane."
Despite himself, Hotch laughed at the tale. It was exactly something Dharma would do and he wasn't really surprised. He leaned over and captured her lips in a sweet kiss, making her melt into his arms. God, how he loved this woman.
"I love you." She said softly once they parted. "I always will. I'm sorry for being so unreasonable and for the way I acted; I should have let you explain."
"I shouldn't have lied, but I had to. If I told you who I was, I'd been committing treason." Hotch paused, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear and smiled. "I love you too. Always."
Dharma grinned and kissed him. This time the kiss was longer, deeper, as if they were trying to reacquaint themselves with their mouths, their lips, their tongues. It took Morgan clearing his throat to make Hotch remember where they were and that they had an audience, so he pulled back, flushed and offered his subordinate a self-conscious smile.
"Dharma, this is Derek Morgan, we work together."
"Hi." She said in her usual cheerfully demeanor and waved. Morgan smiled politely.
"Morgan, this is Dharma… my ex-wife." Derek's brows shot up in surprise and Hotch just sighed. "Long story, don't ask."
"Right." The man said at last, amusement tinting his expression as he offered Dharma another smile. "Well, I guess you won't be needing a ride then, huh Hotch?"
Hotch glanced at Dharma, who was rocking on the ball of her feet as she watched him and smiled without noticing, before turning back at Morgan and shaking his head.
"I'm good." Morgan grinned, dropped Hotch's go-bag on the ground and handed the man the SUV keys.
"See you back home." He said as a farewell and walked away, leaving Hotch and Dharma alone.
As soon as Derek was far enough, Dharma snaked her arms around Hotch's neck and kissed him again, before pulling back with a grin.
"Wanna grab a flight to Reno for blueberry pie and a wedding?" Hotch laughed and pressed a quick kiss on her lips.
"The explosion caused a small tearing on my eardrum. We have to take the car." Dharma glanced at the SUV, before turning to grin wickedly at her ex-husband.
"Ever done it in a government issued car before?" She waggled her eyebrows, dragging another laugh out of him.
"No, I can't say I have." Hotch grinned wide, feeling happier than he had ever felt in a long time and it was all because of the blonde in his arms.
Disclaimer: Criminal Minds and Dharma & Greg do not belong to me, I'm just playing with the characters!