Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my computer, my keyboard, my Internet connection, my hands, and my mind. I don't even own the rule this was made for. XD And no, I don't own Tai.
Note : This story was inspired by an idea borrowed from Tatyana Witwicky's 'Guidelines for Living with Giant Robots. I may or may not do others. It depends on what muses I get. Any I do will be with her permission only, and will have the rule and it's number stated at the beginning or end of every one.
Summary: Sure, we've all read Tatyana Witwicky's 'GfLwGR' before, but have you ever wonder what happened to make some of them come to pass? This is my take on it. ;)
Rule #6: Never strap leaf blowers to your back while wearing roller blades.
They sat in the corner of the cafeteria, attempting to enjoy crap dinner week at the base. Out of all of them, Sam probably looked the least bothered. Then again, looking at his plate, Mikeala raised an eyebrow.
"Would you like some CD with your ketchup, Sam?"
He didn't even look put out by the noodles swaddled in a thick syrupy red sauce, even though they were supposed to be an off-white, kind of yellow color. Sticking the fork into them, he lifted it to his mouth and locked eyes on her, before chowing down, and smirking.
She rolled her eyes, before grabbing one of her plain noodles and tossing it at him.
He froze cold, swallowing the mouthful he had, before narrowing his eyes at her. However, the playful gleam in the depths only served to make her bite her lip to try and control the giggles threatening to spill out. It didn't help it was a direct hit, and the noodle was currently stuck to the middle of his forehead.
"Did you just...seriously...throw a noodle at me. A wet, sticky noodle?" He raised an eyebrow, having given up on trying to fight back his smiling. "Hmmm? Mikeala?"
Shaking her head, she began to laugh in earnest as Sam picked the noodle from his forehead, leaving behind a crescent moon shaped smudge of cheese where it had been.
"Oh, look! It's Sailor Dorkus!" Leo sauntered over to the table and plopped down with a smirk. "Don't tell me you're gonna strike up a fancy pose and declare to beat up the bad guys in 'The name of the Moon'."
"Leo, one... It's frightening you, as a college dude, would know anything about Sailor Moon. The only reason I know anything, is as a child, Tai used to love the idea of superheros, and mom made me sit through the shows with her." His eye twitched a little, and a dark look overtook his face, before it cleared. "Second, if I wanna take out evil, I'd have Bumblebee step on them." He smirked a little, before sneaking a regular noodle from Mikeala's plate as her attention was on him. "'Keala."
She turned back and yelped as she felt warm wetness sticking to her cheek. "Sam..." Her eyes closed as she picked it off her face, before opening again with a newer, deadlier look. "Run. While you can." For a long moment, the boys didn't know whether to actually run or just sit there and laugh.
It was when she ever so calmly reached over and dug her fork into Sam's dish, looking like she was actually going to eat it, then raised it in the air, did the boys move. And boy, did they move! They were out of the cafeteria in a trail of smoke and swinging doors, and Mikeala flicked her fork back down into his bowl with a laugh.
Sam sighed a little, wiping the cheese off his forehead and rolled his eyes over towards Leo. "So where's Tai? I thought she loved being the prankster."
Leo's lips hiked up in the corner, and he glanced quickly out of the corner of his eye towards Sam. "Well, you see... She asked me to come and get you. She has a...proposition for you."
Pausing a moment, Sam made a face and shuddered. "Reword that please. I never want to hear the word 'proposition' in any sentence remotely relating to my cousin." Shaking his head, he laughed slightly as they rounded a corner, bypassing multiple soldiers. "Like that time she decided to, uh, 'proposition' Jazz in the main recreational room. I think Prowl's short lasted three days at the positions she was suggesting." He paused again and groaned. "Oh God! I was trying to forget that moment, too!
With a laugh, Leo patted Sam's arm. "Don't worry about it dude. I don't think anyone wanted to know just what sorts of places she could reach with those long metallic fingers of hers. Did you see the disturbed look on Prime's face when he walked in? I don't think he's recharged since."
"Yeah!" Sam pointed at Leo, cracking up. "And he gave Tai a firm lecture about keeping her fingers to herself in public places, causing Jazz to groan, which only turned the lecture on him. I never would have thought Cybertronians would give 'The talk' to each other." He cackled loudly as they wandered down the hall, Leo leading them into a large storage hanger that was more or less empty.
Well, other than the girl standing in the center of the room, with a longer, metallic arm, tipped in brightly colored nails. Her blue eye and optic stared at them, and she smirked.
"Ok, what do you want, Tai?" Sam smirked back, walking over. "And is it worth getting in trouble?"
She snorted slightly and nodded, her blond streaks showing as she bobbed her head in a nod. "I have a dare for you. Well, it was supposed to be you, but I heard Leo recounting the day I made you both promise never to repeat." She looked like she could have been embarrassed, if she wanted to. She just didn't want to. "So now I have a proposition for you." She shot her cousin a look as he shuddered. "And beware what I'm capable of if you don't do it."
"Don't do it man!" Leo suddenly stiffened, a look of unbridled amusement and panic mixed together as he spun on Sam. "It's a trap! She'll kill ya! She'll skin ya alive! Run! Now, while you have a chance! Goooooooooo!"
Sam gave him an odd look, chuckling quietly, before turning to where Tai was laughing her ass off. "Seriously, what's up? Tell us first, and we'll decide if it's worth it."
"No, no, no, no. You gotta agree first." Her optic flashed, and her expression turned mischievous.
"Hell no." Shaking his head, Sam turned and began to walk away.
"Hmm...I guess I'll gave to grab all those pictures mom took of you when you were five and when through that phase." He stiffened as Tai raised her voice tauntingly. "The skirts. The high heels. You do know those pictures just didn't disappear on their own, I hope."
Swallowing, he closed his eyes, his cheeks burning. He swore to himself he'd never relive that time for the rest of his life. Turning on the spot, he sighed heavily. "Ok. I agree." He couldn't have sounded more put out if he tried.
"Oh, no. No way in-"
"Two words. 'Lacey panties'."
"So! When do we get started?"
Turning back, Sam took about three steps back, eyes going straight to Leo's crotch before he could stop himself. With a look of horror, he yelped and turned away, trying to block all mental images of Leo parading around in the white frilly panties Tai had suckered him into wearing one day, when he was drunk out of his mind. "I'm gonna be sick."
"Dude! That was one time! And I was drunk!"
"So was I. It didn't stop me from getting the pictures." With a mock sweet smile, Tai turned and walked over to the shadows, pulling out two pairs of roller skates. She quickly darted back to them, and dropped the skates at the boys' feet. "On. Now."
"Huh, this doesn't seem so bad."
There was a deep chuckle then, and both boys jumped, conveniently landing on their asses next to the skates, before looking up. Twin giant red glowing optics stared down at the boys, and they exchanged a look. "That's only half the dare, fleshbags." His optics moved to Tai, who tilted her head way back to look up at him. "I got them. The other humans didn't want to give them to me, so I took them."
"Hey there Uncle Oreo!" She waved as he growled, and reached up. "Let me see 'em!"
They exchanged looks from the ground, before Sam closed his eyes in resignation, and opened his, pulling off his shoes and putting on the roller blades, lacing them up tightly. When he glanced over, Leo was just staring at his, and Sam smirked. "It's gonna be fun, I bet."
Leo smirked back, before reaching forward and grabbing the skates. "Aren't they always?" He began putting them on quickly, as well.
"Until Prowler catches you and glitches." Abruptly, Barricade snickered again. "But that only makes it more fun."
Tai laughed a little as the boys stood, holding items in both her hands. "It's all fun and games until someone pokes an eye out. Then it's just fraggin' hilarious!" She stepped forward, her short, choppy hair swishing back and forth around her face and her eye and optic sparkling. "Now put these on, too." Her eye darted to Sam. "Unless you want Mikeala to know about the Halloween you dressed up as Catwoman for. And I'm talking Hallie Berrie Catwoman."
Leo choked, staring at Sam with wide eyes, before falling over laughing so hard, he was curled into a ball. Barricade even reared back, his engine choking and stalling and his optics turned away from the teen.
Flipping them both off, Sam muttered to himself and took the item, realizing it was a leaf blower. He opened his mouth, intending to ask what the hell he was supposed to do with it, but a look at Tai's face, and he decided he really didn't want to know. Instead, he slipped it on, buckling it into place, and stood waiting.
Leo was a few minutes longer before he could put his on, torn between shudders of disgust, and more laughter. Finally, both boys were set, and Tai led them out onto the main tarmac, where everyone was wandering around. Bots and humans mingled, relaxing on a rarely quiet day.
They shot each other a look, before looking around at the others. Swallowing in sync, they lifted the end hose next to them and ready, distancing themselves from each other and everyone else around them so they didn't end up smacking into each other. At least, not just yet.
Then they each reached out and took the protective gear Barricade offered as an almost side thought.
The sound was one no one recognized. It was loud, booming in their sensitive audio receivers, and it was mixed with something that sounded undeniably like human screams. Optimus had been talking with Prowl about the latest changes to the rules for both human and Autobot safety, when the screams alerted him to something.
He turned away, his audios trying to pinpoint the sound, but it seemed to be moving. Looking around, he watched as different bots jumped and spun, their eyes landing on something. Then, speeding at a rate that was almost too fast for Autobot optics to even pick up, Sam and Leo whirled past.
He sighed, relieved. "Ah, it's just Sam and Leo." Then he froze, doing a double take.
They were screaming loudly with huge grins on their faces, wearing helmets and padding, roller blades spinning under their feet, literal dust flying behind them. Each one held onto what a quick Google told him was a 'leaf blower' using the air to propel them past.
There was a loud pop behind him, and before the big bot could even turn fully, Prowl was heading down, towards the two teens who kept zigzagging around, nearly out of control.
"Oh man! Houston, we have a problem!" Leo screamed at the top of his lungs, twisting back and forth and nearly doing figure eights on the spot in his panic. "Timmmbeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrr!" He turned, throwing his head back, and stuck the nozzle behind him, taking off at the speed of light, and racing across the tarmac.
Sam was laughing so hard, he was fumbling and stumbling, but quickly took off after the boy. "Wait for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
So startled by their actions, Optimus' optics followed them until he cringed at the sound of metal hitting tarmac, looking down to see Prowl on the ground, out cold. He sighed and shook his head, literally face palming, before familiar laughter caught his attention. Glancing up, he watched as Barricade approached, holding his daughter.
She didn't look the least bit surprised. She didn't look the least bit apologetic, either. Tai just waved and smiled, laughing hysterically, and even more so at the look on his face plates. "H-Hey D-d-dad!"
Written : June 15, 2010
Hope you like it