Timing: Bella is in La Push with Jake and he tries to kiss her the first time, what if instead of hitting him, she kissed back?
Disclaimer: This is a work of Fan Fiction intended for entertainment only. No profit is being made through the posting or dissemination of this story. All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended
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Under blue moon I saw you
So soon you'll take me
Up in your arms
Too late to beg you or cancel it
Though I know it must be the killing time
Up against your will
Through the thick and thin
He will wait until
You give yourself to him
In starlit nights I saw you
So cruelly you kissed me
Your lips a magic world
Your sky all hung with jewels
The killing moon
Will come too soon
-Killing Moon by Echo and the Bunnymen
"I'm in love with you, Bella," Jacob said in a strong, sure voice. "Bella, I love you. And I want you to pick me instead of him. I know that you don't feel that way, but I need the truth out there so you know your options. I wouldn't want a miscommunication to stand in our way." I stared up at my best friend my mouth hanging open in shock.
I knew it, I'd known it all along, but for him to say the words, to come out and say it with so much confidence…I knew he meant it, every word and as much as I tried to fight it I could feel my breath speed up in response.
"Okay. That's all," he said, looking away from me, shy again like the boy he was underneath all of the muscle and bravado.
"Jake ‐ I can't ‐ I mean I don't…" I stuttered, unsure of how to have this conversation. What could I say? I'd made up my mind; there wasn't anything left to discuss or think about.
"I have to go," I said stepping to pass him and get into my truck. But before I could, his hand reached out and he touched my arm gently, his eyes full of meaning and emotion.
"No, wait. I know that, Bella. But, look, answer me this, all right? Do you want me to go away and never see you again?" I shook my head and looked away, feeling the tears rise to my eyes at just the thought. I couldn't think about this, I had no choice. In order to have Edward I had to let Jacob go; Jacob and Charlie and everyone who mattered to me.
I was lost in my thoughts when he whispered, "Be honest."
"No, I don't want that," I admitted.
"See." He smiled his full toothy smile and glowed with a satisfaction that did not help my growing annoyance with this conversation.
"But, I don't want you around for the same reason that you want me around," I choked out, not able to look at him for fear that he would sense the falsity of my statement. His hand was still on my shoulder and the heat of his skin spread over me, working its way into my heart, the way he had done since the first moment I'd met him.
"Tell me exactly why you want me around, then." His low voice full of anticipated pain, but still, always, with that glint of hope that made him impossible to ignore.
I looked up at him, and before I could stop myself I told him the complete truth. "I miss you when you're not there."
His smile was radiant and his thumb began to rub my shoulder, soothing me, lulling me, breaking me. "When you're happy, it makes me happy. But I could say the same thing about Charlie, Jacob. You're family." I said the only thing I could think of that would make any of this make sense. I was selfish, I was worse then evil. Everything I did hurt someone, but all I wanted was to keep him with me.
"I love you, but I'm not in love with you." I knew it was a lie as the words crossed my lips, and by the arch of his eyebrow so did he, but it was too late…this was all coming too late. Any chance Jacob and I had together had passed the moment I went to Italy. I had proven then to myself and to him that it was Edward, always Edward I would choose.
"But you do want me around," he pleaded, his grip on me tightened.
"Yes," I whispered into his dark eyes.
"Then I'll stick around." He smiled.
"You're a glutton for punishment." Shaking my head I looked away and didn't notice until he was touching me that his other hand had come up to my face, tracing my jaw line and pulling me back to look at him again.
"Yep." His voice was husky as he looked down at me, his head inclined slightly as if he was about to…
I stepped back from him, his touch falling away from me. "Do you think you could behave yourself a little better, at least?" I pleaded, needing him to be my friend, just my friend. Please, more than that was too much, too confusing.
"No, I don't," he said, in a dark voice. I sighed heavily.
"You decide, Bella. You can have me the way I am ‐ bad behavior included ‐ or not at all." His face was suddenly hard, his ultimatum completely serious. I studied him, wishing there was a crack in his resolve, in his unwavering commitment to confuse and seduce me. But I needed him; I knew…I would never be able to live without him.
"That's mean!" I cried, hating the way he was making me choose.
"So are you," he said flatly, the hardness of his face settling in and the mask that he wore to keep me from hurting him falling into place.
Before my Jacob disappeared completely, I conceded. "You're right."
"I forgive you." He smiled, stepping to me again. "Just try not to get too mad at me. Because I recently decided that I'm not giving up. There really is something irresistible about a lost cause." His touch came again quickly, his arm snaking around my waist smoothly.
"Jacob." I reached out and put my hands on his chest, pushing him away. "I love him, Jacob. He's my whole life."
"You love me, too." He spoke softly, his body so close, so warm…I felt him against my hands and his heart beat was as rapid as his breath. He didn't come any closer but his hand was still on my hip and his eyes were boring their way into my soul in a way no one had ever looked at me before. Like he understood who I was, deep down...not the dream, not the girl I wanted to be, but the person I was born to be. "Not the same way, I know. But he's not your whole life, either. Not anymore. Maybe he was once, but he left."
His face came closer to mine and I couldn't find the strength to move away. "And now he's just going to have to deal with the consequence of that choice ‐ me," He whispered pulling me into a hug, both arms around me now, his natural scent dark and spicy.
"You're impossible," I whined into his chest, while my hands moved without my consent around his body until they were resting on his back, holding him to me.
"Until your heart stops beating, Bella, I'll be here ‐ fighting. Don't forget that you have options." He pulled back and looked down at me again, the seriousness in him palpable.
"I don't want options. And my heartbeats are numbered, Jacob. The time is almost gone." I felt the sting of tears as my eyes filled with everything I was going to lose? How would I be able to live without him…if I would even be me at all.
"All the more reason to fight," he whispered bringing his face closer; his breath matching the spicy scent on his skin making me wish I could taste him…just once…
"Fight harder now, while I can." Breathing against my lips he held there, lips against mine just enough that the electricity between us tickled at the contact. His heat pulled me in and his grip on my body tightened, pulling me up to him.
" N‐" I began when his lips touched mine, his grip tight and fierce. I was shocked by the heat of his kiss and the way his lips seemed to melt around mine. His kiss was rough and urgent. I felt out of control as his lips moved against mine and he lifted me closer to him still. I moved my arms around his neck, holding on for all I was worth. This is what life could be like; hot and urgent, desperate and passionate. When his tongue flicked out to taste me I opened my mouth without thinking and drank him in.
When he realized I wasn't pushing him away he released his grip on me slightly, letting me stand on my own two feet and breathe freely again, but I didn't want it. I wanted to be consumed, owned, desired. I lost myself in the wave of passion that crashed over us and I couldn't turn away from it now. At his release I clung tighter, my hands grasping at his hair and pulling him down to me. His breath hitched when he realized that not only wasn't I fighting him, I was begging for more.
His hands fell to my ass gripping me tightly, making me exhale loudly and move away from his lips. His smile was soft and promising as he bent down and took the skin of my neck into his mouth. His kiss was smooth as he pressed his lips to me over and over, running down the length of my neckline, stopping at the soft dimple where neck joined shoulder. There he kissed me harder, sucking on me and stroking my skin with his tongue.
"Jacob…my Jacob…" I sighed leaning back into his arms.
His smile was magnificent as he pulled back and looked down at me. "That had to be better than kissing a rock," he teased and I was too lost in him to care.
"Shut up." I played with the hair at the back of his neck.
"Hmmm, make me," he said, bringing his lips down to mine again.
If I'd thought the first kiss was good the second was amazing. His mouth was on mine and his body wrapped around me. I felt so safe and complete in his embrace, like nothing could ever hurt me. As we kissed he slowly moved his lips and tongue with mine, and even though we'd only just begun this, it felt as natural as breathing.
"Jake…" I said when he pulled away slightly before lifting up onto my toes and pulling him back to me. His taste was intoxicating, completely overwhelming, and all I wanted was more of him.
When he pulled back the familiar rejection flashed through my mind. Of course he would stop…why should he be any different? Next he'd probably tell me he didn't want to hurt me and that I needed to control myself…
"I love you, Bella," was all he said as he stayed close, his forehead against mine and his eyes full of hope. "I love you, and I know it's too much to ask, but tell me, tell me this changed things…please…tell me this meant something to you." The sadness in his eyes almost broke my heart it was so raw.
Instead of answering, instead of telling him what he needed to hear or breaking his heart, instead of making a decision, I broke down the middle; the half of me that loved Edward fighting like a banshee to get away from Jacob, while the other half of me clung to him, knowing that my life literally depended on it. The tears ran down my face as I looked at him and shook my head, unable to say a word.
His face fell as he interpreted my meaning through his own veiled vision of life. His hands left me and as he stepped away; the air rushed out of my lungs and the cold reality of my impending death crashed into me.
"Do I get points for making you cry?" he asked coldly, the sneer on his face that I had come to associate with Sam back in place.
"Jacob, don't," I whispered, wiping the tears from my cheeks roughly with the back of my hand.
"Don't what? Get my hopes up? Think that there's anything human left of you?" He began to walk away from me, and as his figure grew smaller, I knew I was to blame for all of his hate and pain. I was the reason for all of this. I had to choose and I had to choose now.
I looked down at the ring on my hand and smiled, thinking of Edward promising to love me forever, literally, promising that I would always be the love of his existence. Jacob disappeared behind a tree in the distance, his long legs carrying him farther then I'd noticed. But when he was gone it was like the sun went out and I was left alone in the cold night of day.
The eclipse of my love for Edward had pushed Jacob away, and as I stood there motionless, I realized that it was me who was living in Edward's shadow. With Edward I was nothing, black; while with Jacob I could be free…
I ran then, ran faster then I meant to, making myself trip over the sand. I pushed my legs though, not caring if I got hurt, not caring if I bled or who saw it. All I cared about was getting to Jacob, my sun, my life. As I rounded the corner to his house I slowed, unable to keep up that pace and hope to have any breath to speak with.
"Jake!" I called bursting into the house suddenly, pushing the screen door open roughly. "Jake! Come on!" I called before walking back to his room quickly.
Sitting on his bed was Jacob; his head in his hands, shoulders slumped. An intimate moment of misery that I was probably never supposed to see.
"Jacob…" I said quietly.
"Go away," his voice cracked. "What else could you have to say to me? What other torment can you think of for me? Are you going to kill yourself here in my room so I can watch you die? Are you going to make me be the one to tell Cullen to change you?" His tears ran freely down his face. What had I done to him?
"No…no, Jake…I…no, none of those things," I stammered, not knowing what to say.
"I love you, Jake." I stepped forward and kneeled before him, forcing him to look at me.
"Love you more," he said smiling sadly.
"I don't think so." Bringing my hand to his cheek I leaned in and kissed him, his still body not responding, not believing what I was trying to say.
Pulling back I slipped Edward's ring off of my finger and held it out to Jake. "I choose you," I said calmly, peace falling into place in the room around us.
He stared at me, disbelief in his eyes. Pain and caution told him not to trust me and really, he had no reason to. I knew that and so did he; this time, this time he needed me to save him.
"Jacob…my Jacob…" I ran a hand down his cheek and his eyes closed at the contact. He looked so young suddenly, so peaceful with his eyes closed like an angel. "Jake, please." He looked at me wide eyed, desperate to believe.
"Bella, I can't…I can't keep doing this…it's killing me."
"I know. I'm sorry. I look back and I see all the pain I've caused you, all the heartache and I've been so unfair. I held on to a dream at the expense of reality. Jake. I choose you." I held the ring out to him again and this time he took it in his large hand and looked down at it.
"I can never give you things like this. I can never take you to exotic places or even…I can't even move out of La Push." His eyes were locked on the ring as if it were a Fabergé egg.
"I don't care, I don't need those things."
"You might…some day…" He sighed and looked up at the ceiling.
"Why would you stop fighting now, Jacob? Please, we'll worry about that tomorrow or next week. For now, please, just look at me."
"Why?" I demanded. I was getting angry. He was getting everything he wanted, everything he claimed to be fighting for, and now he was trying to talk me out of it?
His eyes came undone and shot through me. "Because if we do this, if you do this, and then you leave…I won't survive it."
"Jake…" I leaned in and kissed him, kissed him and kissed him and kissed him, until my lips were raw and my tongue was exhausted. I kissed him until my face hurt from smiling and my legs shook from kneeling between his legs. We kissed for what seemed like hours, our lips making love and saying all the things we would have screwed up if we tried to say them out loud.
"I love you," he said when we slowed. "I love you so much it hurts, so much it's ripping me up inside."
I lifted up on my knees and met his eyes. "I love you too. It scares me, it's so real. With Edward…"
Jacob let out a hiss and pulled back on the bed away from me.
"Stop and let me finish, okay?" I sat on the bed next to him, facing his expectant face. "With Edward somehow it was easier…it wasn't real, it was all wrapped up in fantasy and I was the princess and that was…exciting."
"And I'm not?" He glared at me.
"You are, you…God, Jake…you are all of that and more, and somehow it was easier to imagine death than imagining falling in love with you…and then losing you." I sighed, running my hand through my hair and wishing I could disappear. But what was left now? What was left if we didn't tell the truth?
"You'll never lose me," he said staring at me.
"If you imprint…" I whispered.
"Can't." He reached out and put a large warm hand on my leg.
"You don't know that." I took his hand in both of mine, holding it to my chest, clutching him to my heart.
"How?" I asked, risking looking up at him, but when I met his eyes all I saw was love.
"I already did, Bells, that day in the field when that leech with the dreadlocks almost…I already did."
"Yeah." He looked down suddenly bashful.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I lifted myself up on my knees and climbed into his lap, straddling him so that he had to look right at me.
"I didn't want…I didn't want you to feel trapped. I probably would have told you eventually, if you stayed with…but it's better…that you chose me." His eyes lit up as he accepted that I had in fact chosen him.
I felt his arms wrap around my back as he lay back on his bed, pulling me with him. Soon we were lying side by side kissing slowly and letting our hands roam to places I'd never hoped I would touch. His skin was soft and I had to take a deep breath to steady myself when he took of his shirt and leaned over me. I'd seen Jacob without a shirt on before but somehow now, lying beneath him, letting my hands run over his soft skin, it was intimate and exciting.
His hand was on my hip again as he hovered above me, not bringing any of his body into contact with mine until I pulled him down against me. I wrapped around him and gasped when I felt the heat and length of his erection against my thigh. Oh, God…Jacob… What was I getting myself into? As dangerous as everyone had thought being with Edward was, in some ways it was so much safer then what was happening between Jacob and me right now.
His hand slid up the inside of my shirt until his fingers grazed the fabric of my bra. He kissed me as his fingertips teased my skin. I was arching into his touch, barely able to keep from screaming out for him to touch me already, but he knew, he knew by the way I moved and the way I kissed him. His fingers slid under my bra and came up until he held my small breast in his palm.
"Oh, God…" I moaned as he ground his hip against me, my body responding to his rhythm with a need out of my control. His hand was hot on my skin and he kneaded my flesh like he afraid it would be the last time.
Sitting up I pushed him away quickly.
"What? Did I…" he began until he saw that I was taking my own shirt off along with my bra.
"Fuck, Bells…" his eyes traced my contours hungrily, and when he looked back at me I smiled at how much like wild animals boys really were.
He was on top of me fast, his hands wrapping around me and pulling me to him as he kissed my neck and sucked on my ear. His erection was against me now, full and hard. I could feel him through the clothes we wore but it wasn't enough, as he moved against me, grinding into where I was so desperate to be touched, I whined and strained for more.
"Jake…God…I…" I moaned as he moved down my body leaving trails of heat behind him. My body was boiling, my skin seared with my need for him. If I thought I'd been desperate before, this was proving that I'd known nothing about how close a body could come to spontaneous combustion.
I saw flashes of light behind my eyes as he sucked my nipple into his mouth, making me moan and lift up into him. He smiled against my skin and chuckled darkly, his breath sending flares of desire across my skin. I pulled him back to me, my hands in his hair pulling softly. He sucked on me deeply, pulling my flesh into his mouth, stretching and drawing sensation from every nerve ending.
When he let go he looked up at me his smile wide, his eyes dark.
"What?" I asked.
"I just can't believe it." His grin grew to impish proportions.
"What?" I demanded
"I can't believe I get you. I've wanted you for so long. Ever since you first moved back into town."
"Yeah?" I came up on my elbows and looked down at him.
"Yeah, Bells." He rolled off of me and kissed my shoulder.
"I'm sorry I didn't know sooner, that I made you wait so long."
"Don't ‐" he began, but I had too much to say, too much that he needed to hear.
"I was broken, I was broken and you put me back together. You loved me when I didn't believe anyone could and…and I used you. I used up all that love and I didn't give you anything back. I was a black hole and I was selfish, but…when I was with you I felt alive and I was happy."
"Me, too," he whispered kissing my shoulder again, his hand tracing patterns on my stomach.
"I…I should have told you how I felt, I should have told you so many times, but when I came back from Italy, he was here and he told me all the right things. I tried to be who I was before he left…"
"But you couldn't?" The hope in his voice rang loudly.
"Because of me?"
"Because of you…because I needed you and the longer you stayed away the harder it was to breathe, and then when you came to the school…Jake…I should have run to you when I saw you. I wanted to, but I couldn't let myself not love him." I took a shaky breath, knowing that there was more to say that he needed to hear.
"You wouldn't return my calls; I felt…I felt like I was dying…not being able to see you or talk to you…it was…"
"Torture," he whispered.
"Yeah." I felt the tears rising in my eyes again but I felt his warm hand still on my stomach and it grounded me, connected me to him and to where we were now.
"I'm sorry," he said earnestly, making me smile. "Don't laugh at me," he said, his smile cracking.
"But you're so cute."
"That may be but it doesn't change the fact that I am the man here and you are not to laugh at me, at least not in my face!" He sat up on his elbow, straightening himself above me.
"The man, huh?" I laughed.
"Yes." His eyebrow rose as he looked down at me. "Bells…what happens now?"
"Hmmm…I'm pretty sure you kiss me again." I smiled up at him arching myself up to him, reaching out with my hand but he snatched it in his before I could touch him.
"Believe me, I can do that all day, I can do that for the rest of my life, but..." He sighed and looked at the wall across from us. "When you leave, are you going back to him? Are you just going to put this back on?" He reached up and took the ring Edward had given me off of the windowsill and held it like it might reach out and bite him.
"Haven't you been listening at all?" I was angrier then I'd expected to be and sat up looking down at him. I was hurt and angry and, well, a little insulted.
"No 'but' Jacob. No 'but'! Seriously, have I just been talking to the air? Have I been making out with some Real Doll while you just lie there and doubt me?" I started to get up, my anger welling up in me forcing the tears to start again.
"Bells," he pleaded, grabbing me. I wrenched my arm away from him and he let me go so that I was sitting on the edge of the bed, my arms crossed over my naked torso.
"Bella, come on," he said lying on his side behind me, his hand tracing invisible patterns on the naked skin of my back. "You can't get mad at me for asking. I mean, I know what he does to you. He's like a drug for you."
Sighing, I knew he was right. The idea of telling Edward it was over, just the thought of it made me feel like I was going to implode, but the warm hand on my back steadied me. "But Jake, you…you're the air, the sun…I know I've never given you any reason to trust that I can do this, but I can. I can live without a drug. I can, I don't know, detox, but I can't live without you."
I turned back to him and found acceptance and love in his face. Taking the ring from him I placed it on the desk next to his bed. "I'll give it back to him, tonight, I'll tell him everything and I'll tell him to leave." A tear broke free and fell between us. "And then it will be us, just us, Jake and Bells."
"The way it was always supposed to be," he said up to me.
I smiled and turned to him, lowering my body on the bed beside him. "The way it was always supposed to be…the way it always will be…"
He pulled me on top of him and clutched the back of my neck, bringing his lips to mine with a fierce need. His tongue entered me as my hands steadied me and I brought my legs around so that I was straddling him. Our skin burned as he held me against him, the need between us was blazing, now that everything had been said and the promises had been made. A fire burning out of control; we kissed and moaned and moved together, his erection finding just the right amount of pressure as I ground my hips against him. The well of self control was dry and when I sat up on him, his hands on my breasts, his need between my legs, the love in his eyes was all I needed.
"Jake…" I said as I rolled off of him, bringing his hips with me so that my leg could lock around him.
"Hmmm," he murmured as he brought his lips to my collarbone.
I reached between us and brought my hand to his waist band and slid my fingers just inside of it, feeling the soft skin beneath. Jacob's eyes closed and his mouth hung open as he vibrated beneath my touch. I undid the top button and slid my hand down his abdomen until I reached something soft and hard and amazing.
"Oh fuck…" he said as I wrapped my hand around him gently. I tested the size of him, stroking the length and pulling on him softly when I got to the top of him. I ran my fingers over his head, feeling the contours and ridges of him. He lay completely still, as if he was worried I would stop if he moved. His eyes were closed tightly as I massaged him and explored what made him moan.
He whined softly when I removed my hand. Sitting up I unzipped his pants the rest of the way and he lifted his hips to allow me to pull them down. Stripping him slowly, I removed all of clothes and looked down at him. He was magnificent. His dark skin shone in the sunlight as his muscles bunched and flowed all over his large frame. I reached out and touched his thigh, sending fire flames up my arm.
He moaned and clutched the sheets holding himself in place, his eyes closed tightly. He laid there perfectly still, completely open to me. I leaned down and kissed his hip and my hair fell over his body softly. He jumped slightly at the sensation before I swept my hair to the other side of my head.
I looked at him, my lips parted and my breath heavy. His erection twitched and he whined again before bringing one hand to my back. Leaning forward I kissed his length eliciting a moan above me. Smiling I licked up his shaft before kissing the tip gently.
"Ohhh fuck, Bells…" he said slamming a fist down onto the bed in his effort to hold still.
I licked him again slowly, and again, and again until I didn't think he could take any more. I wrapped one small hand around him and held him upright so that I could take his thickness into my mouth. His hips bucked as I sucked him into my mouth, slowly pulling him in further, letting us both get used to the sensation.
I'd never done anything like this before, this was well beyond anything that Edward would have allowed and before that. Well, there really hadn't been anyone to speak of. I kneeled close to him and used my tongue to pull him further into my mouth. Above me Jacob had his hands over his face and his moans sounded like he was speaking in tongues.
I released him and stood next to the bed. Jacob's eyes shot open and he looked at me confused, until he saw that my hands were on my buckle and I was beginning to shimmy out of my tight jeans.
"What are you…?" he asked propping himself up on his elbows, but his voice left him when I lowered my clothing over my hips, revealing my naked core to him. His eyes looked up at me in confusion and desire. "Bells?" he whispered.
I pulled my clothes the rest of the way off without answering and then slid in next to him on the bed. Without a word I let my body melt into his, every part of me touching him. The feeling of his heat against me was making me delirious with need. He was soft and gentle, he smelled like nature and love, he was right for me in every way.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him to me, our lips locked together and our bodies adjusted to how we fit together. Our kiss was slow. Our hands were soft. Our love was forever.
Jacob rolled onto me as I wrapped my legs around him. My body opened to him and his erection slid along my folds making us both gasp at the soft/hard feeling of our desire. He was hard and smooth, and I was soft and wet. Man and woman. We fit together naturally. He rubbed against me softly before breaking our kiss and looking down at me. The earnest innocence of the boy inside shone though.
I nodded my head and smiled. "I'm yours Jake. I choose you."
"Always and forever?" He smiled.
Reaching between us Jake fumbled softly until he found my entrance with his tip. He pushed in softly. My eyes flew open wide at the shock of being stretched open by him. I had no way to know what to expect or if he was bigger than others, but it certainly seemed that way in the moment.
"Don't move," I said as I willed my body to relax.
"You okay?" His gentle voice brought me back to the here and now and I smiled up and him.
"Better than." I pulled on his shoulders to bring him closer to me and as he lowered his weight he began to move inside me again. Slowly he pushed into me, stopping now and then to allow me to readjust to him. He kissed me as he slid further in making me gasp as I felt something release deep inside of me. I felt warmer and softer and as he moved it became easier to handle his size.
"More…" I said into his neck, my arms wrapped around his back, his muscles straining with the effort he was using to take it slow. Moving with him now I urged him deeper into me, the pain falling away and replaced with a warm, deep pleasure that saturated my insides, my skin, my soul with Jacob's touch.
I looked up to find his eyes fixed on me, his mouth open as he breathed loudly. "I love you," I whispered before he thrust deeper into me, making me moan and jump.
"Oh, fuck, Bells, did I hurt you?" He was still on top of me, concern dripping from his words.
"No…God…do that again…" He beamed down at me and pulled out of me before thrusting in deeply again in one fluid motion. Feeling the full bulk of him moving within me tore at my senses leaving me a quivering moaning mess. My nails dug into his back as he continued and the words coming from him were soft and foreign to my ear.
I used my heel as leverage to help me push up into him bringing him completely into me, his base at my entrance, his tip at my innermost depth. We fit perfectly, like we were made for each other. Two bodies designed to intertwine, perfection in form and function.
I had felt unwanted and my body had been a stranger to me. As Jake touched me and loved me he awoke a part of me that had been dead, long before Edward killed me. I had been dying in pieces for months, years now and here in Jacob's embrace I blazed into life. Moving together the way lovers did, we touched and kissed until bliss overtook our senses and the world melted away. The sun set outside the window but the glow of our love illuminated our bodies so that I could see him without looking. I could hear him without either of us speaking. Our hearts blended as our bodies sought to consume the other until there was nothing left but us.
His pace and need drove me to heights of ecstasy that I hadn't imagined, the place that poets write about in blood, the place wars were fought for descended upon my sanity with each thrust of Jacob's desire.
"Oh God," I moaned digging my nails deeply into his back, pulling his bulk down onto me, I wanted to feel every inch of his skin against me, I wanted his weight to push down on me, claiming me, encasing me in him. "Jake..."
"Fuck, Bells..." he moaned his body shaking as he thrust deeper into me, his shoulders bunching as his release swelled and threatened to burst through. My hips moved against him, his skin touching my core bringing me higher and higher. His heat burning my insides. My hips lifted up off of the bed, pushing into him as my need pulsed and ricocheted off the walls with my scream of release.
His arms wrapped up and around my shoulders, holding me in place as he slammed into me quickly. I quivered and convulsed as the waves of my orgasm passed over me, drawing out my ecstasy.
"I...Bella!" he bellowed, eyes wide, looking deep within my soul as he spread my legs further with his knees and slammed into me one final time. Deep inside of me he released his desire. I could feel his love, his commitment, his passion.
"Jake..." I whispered, stroking his back as he collapsed on top of me, no longer able to hold his own weight. His skin was damp from exertion and his breathing was deep. "My Jacob..." I let my head fall to the side and closed my eyes, feeling his skin against me, his weight on top of me, his love within me. "My Jacob..." I whispered as we drifted off to sleep intertwined.
"Bells...Bells, baby..." I heard in the distance as I dreamed of crashing waves and heat bearing down, cleansing my soul.
"Bells, come on, Charlie's gonna freak if we don't get you home..." Jacob shook me gently to wake me, but there was nothing that I wanted more then to remain wrapped up in the smell and bliss of Jacob's love.
"No..." I murmured burying my face into the pillow below my head. How long had we slept? He lay down next to me, but he was on top of the covers. He wrapped a warm and disappointingly clothed arm around me.
"Come on, honey." He kissed my hair and I opened my eyes to turn and look at him. It was dark out but his smile shone in the darkness.
"I wish I could stay here forever." I nuzzled into his chest.
"I do, too, but we have to get you home...and you have some things you need to take care of, right?" he asked shyly, always unsure. How had I hurt him so deeply? I resolved I would spend the rest of my life proving to him, showing him that I would love him, choose him, forever.
Rolling onto my back I looked up into his shadowed face. "I do, and I will. Jake, please, trust me." I stroked his cheek softly before pulling him down into a kiss. This time the fiery passion of need was muted, sated for the time being, but the love I felt for him was as strong as ever. Growing with each moment our skin stayed in contact. "I'll call you, ok? Later...after...and you can come over."
His smile took over his face, his sweetness bursting through any attempt he made at maintaining his cool "Yeah?"
"Ok, that would be...thanks, Bells." he sighed.
"Don't doubt me, ok? Don't doubt this..." I kissed him again before throwing off the covers and standing up to get dressed. I heard Jake hiss behind me as he took in my naked body in the moonlight of his room. I knew if I turned around we'd be done for, another hour at least lost, and he was right I needed to get home. I dressed quickly, not acknowledging the burning eyes watching my every move.
"Fuck, Bells..." he said when I bent over to pull up my jeans.
"No, just...I still...are you sure you're real? You're not some amazing fantasy that has somehow solidified in my room? I...if I let you go tonight, will I ever get you back?"
I turned to him and smiled. "Jake, is there anything else I can say? Anything else I can do? If there is, tell me. I love you, I choose you."
He stood up and pulled me into his embrace but I knew that until I gave the ring back to Edward there would always be doubt in his mind. In the end, actions eclipse words.
Throwing the ring into my pocket we walked out to the car and drove home slowly. Jake and I didn't talk as we held hands. I smiled out into the darkness, knowing that tonight was going to be hard but I couldn't help but be excited that the world was about to start over.