Okay, I was attacked by my Matt and Christian muses the other morning with this bunch'a nonsense (that was gunna go in 'BubbleGumSweetShit' b/c it was justa supposed to be a one shot w/ pieces inspired by something Matt said on Twitter) and it just decided to go every which way it wanted and basically wrote itself. It's just more silliness and stupid humor. I decided not to put it in 'BGSS' b/c it kept going and has another chapter. Didn't think it'd hurt to give its own spot (shrugs) Matt/Jay, Jeff/Adam, Miz/Jeri, mentions of Randy/Mor/Punk, Miz/Mor, Cena/Evan, Jeri/Evan, Jay/Jeri/Matt, Miz/Mor/Jeri. Language, childishness, slashy situations, crude humor, a tiny mention of Hardycest. AU, OOC. Just for FUN! XD! Jay has no one to room w/, so he rooms w/ Matt. Perversions ensue.. Hardys, E&C, JeriMiz.
ForShits&Giggles: WWE Random;
Chapter one/ 'Just Like Old Times'
Rated; M-ish/ L, (sexual situations, horndogs galore!)
Matt: (walking thru backstage area) Hey, Jay-Jay!
Jay: (talking on phone) Hey, Matt. Just a sec.. (into phone) Oh, come on. Not you too, Chris! But I.. No.. I'm not gonna.. Don't you hang up on me..! (looks down at phone) Why that rat bastard!
Matt: Hang up?
Jay: (slams cell phone shut) Dammut! First Adam left me for Jeff. And now Chris left me for Miz. Now who'm gonna room with?
Matt: You can room with me. Jeff left me for Adam. It'll be just like old times.
Jay: Except without all the hard liquor and gratuitous nudity.
Matt: (shrugs) Eh, night's still young.
(-Laters in hotel room-)
Matt: Call Adam up, see what he's doing.
Jay: Okay. (calls Addy up) Hey, Addy, what'cha doing? (listens.. turns to Matt) Your brother.
Matt: What? (grabs phone) Gimme. (holds phone to ear) Adam Joesph Copeland.. Oh, hi, Jeffro..
Jeff: (giggles on otherline) Actually, I'm doing Addy. You should see how hott he looks on his knees with his hair being pulled..
Matt: (rolls eyes) Okay, Jeff. Spare me details.
Jeff: Awe, what's a matter, Matty? Not getting any? Why'cha ask Christylicious to suck on your cock like a gewd boy? (more purred giggling) Yum-yums..
Matt: (flushing wildly) Jeff!
Jeff: (giggles louder) Y'know you want to. I bet he wants to. Make him all nice an' hard for your sweet little ass..
Matt: (clears throat and swallows) For one, you're drunk, horny and being stupid.
Matt: Two, I'm not a bottom.
Jay: (perks up with sudden interest)
Jeff: (giggles) Quit it, Addy.. Hey, mister, I didn't say you could move. Back on all fours! And quit wiggling your ass like that, it's giving me needs!
Adam: (in background) Uhmmm.. That's the idea.. Come on, Jeffy. Get off the phone and come play with me! I'll let you lick champagne off my naked body.
Matt: (rubbing head.. the one on his shoulders, pervs. Not the one below the belt.. no matter how much li'l Matty's a straining) Like I said, drunk and horny. Anyway, it's none of your business, Jeff. Just like what you're doing is none of mine. So have fun and here's Jay. (hands Jay back the phone)
Jay: (takes phone and holds it to ear) Yeah, hello, Jeffers. (makes shocked face) You're doing what to my Addy?
Jeff: Mah Addy, Jay-Jay.
Jay: He's my Addy too. (pouts and sniffles)
Jeff: Fine. My and your Addy. Anyway, Imma'bout to lick champagne off his naughty parts. Matt's smexually frustrated again.. Why don'tcha help him out?
Jay: Jeff! (flushes)
Jeff: (giggles madly) Bye-bye, Jay-Jay. (dial tone)
Matt: (shakes head) He's a character.
Jay: Oh, yeah. Umm..? Why is Jeff here anyways?
Matt: (shrugs) Writer wanted him in here.
Jay: Oh... (confused) Uh.. what..? (phone rings.. answers) Hello?
Chris: Jason, where did you go, Junior? I've looked this lobby stupid.
Jay: M'with Matty.
Chris: Ugh! You asshole! Why'd you leave me?
Jay: You were all over Miz! And when I called, you hung up because Miz was all over you! I thought you two could use some private time.
Chris: Well, we had our private time and now my room mate bailed on me.
Jay: (muttering) Gee, you're a fucking minute man..
Jay: Nothing. Why can't you stay with Mike tonight? Y'know, sleep in the same bed without humping like bunnies and just cuddle?
Chris: (sighs) Mike steals the covers.
Mike: (in background) Oh, I DO NOT, Chris! You're the one WHO hogs the covers, you lying little..
Jay: (puts phone on speaker and holds it out for Matt to hear too)
Chris: I wouldn't finish that if I were you, Mizerella.
Mike: Y'know what, Chris? You're nothing but a drama queen. I don't know why I put up with you.
Jay: Cuz ya likes the way he sucks ya off :P
Matt: Oh, now you just sound like Jeff.
Jay: He teaches me well. (grins)
Matt: Apparently too well.
Mike: Oh, you like sucking my..
Matt: (holding ears) Why do I always hafta hear this?
Jay: Now you sound like HBK.
Mike: Oh, what are you, Hardy? CM Punk!
Matt: Oh, don't even go there, girlfriend. (snaps fingers all diva like)
Jay: No. You're not a bottom- hint sarcasm.
Matt: (opens mouth to speak, closes it, opens it again, stammers) Shut up.
Jay: Good come-back. (smirks)
Matt: (does that glare thing he's so awesome at)
Mike: Speaking of, have you seen JoMo?
Matt: I thought you two were still broke up?
Mike: We are.
Chris: Mizzie here's just a two-timing little cockslut.
Mike: I am not! You knew me and John were still friends. We called it off mutually and we still get along and hang out. Does all exes hafta be bitter enemies? You, Matt and Jay are all still butt-buddies.
Chris: We had a threesome one time, years ago. When we were drunk! That's all it was!
Jay: You told HIM? Mike 'loud-mouth' Mizanin! Chrissy, you bitch!
Chris: It was an accident, I swear. It just came out!
Matt: Chris, stuff like that don't just come out.
Mike: It does when you're playing a naughty game of Truth or Dare and you're so worked up and horny you'll admit to anything. (can be heard smirking thru the phone)
Jay: Miz, you bitch!
Mike: Hey, Chris was the bitch!
Jay: Well, now you are and he upgraded to twatbag whore.
Chris: Watch it, assclown!
Mike: I got him to tell me all about how you both pounded the living daylights outta him at the same time.
Chris: Mike! Shut the hell up!
Mike: How you had him a writhing screaming mess..
Chris: Michael Mizanin! You shut up this instant, or..
Mike: Tell me, did you guys double-team Adam like that?
Matt: Why you horny bastard.
Jay: I wouldn't let Jeff catch you talking like that.
Mike: (laughing) I'm kidding. So, you seen Mor?
Jay: He was with Randy and Phil earlier.
Mike: Oh, great. (sighs) I won't see him for awhile and when I do he'll be walking like a duck.
Chris: Why do you want to see him?
Mike: Well, you're bailing on me.
Chris: You just wanna fuck him. I bet you still fuck him.
Mike: Ooh, jealous much?
Chris: Well, do you?
Mike: Yes. Sometimes we still fuck. There? Happy?
Mike: What? You've been fucking Evan.
Chris: I hafta top sometime.
Jay: S'matter, Chrissy, mean ole Mizzie won't let you top?
Chris: None of your business, Reso!
Matt: Has to be our business, Chris. You just said it out loud. Must'a wanted us to know.
Chris: (stammers) No.. I.. you.. (growls) Shut up, Hardy!
Mike: Awe, he's so cute when he blushes and pouts like that.
Chris: (huffs) I'll just stay with Evan.
Jay: Can't. Rooming with John Cena.
Chris: Oh, fuck! There goes my fuck toy!
Mike: (mockingly) Hahaha.
Chris: Fine. Since you're still fucking Morrison, I will too.
Mike: I asked you for a threesome, you refused.
Chris: Well, I changed my mind.
Jay: Ooh, that sounds hott. Can I get a copy of the video tape Hunter will make when he finds out?
Mike: Sure thing, buddy.
Chris: (squeaks) What? NO! Stay outta my sex life, Reso! You too, Hardy! (dial tone)
Matt: (blinks) Jeez, what's got his panties in a wad?
Jay: (shrugs and stretches) Must be that time of the month.
Matt: Jay-Jay, not funny.
(-a little while later-)
Jay: (On Matt's Twitter Home page.. typing)
Tuesday, June 01, 2010 sometime while Matt was in the bathroom AM via TweetDeck
Jay: (giggles evilly and moves over to bed)
Matt: (comes back from bathroom, yawns and sits back down at table to check his Twitter) Ugh! Jay!
Jay: (cracks up as Matt types something else)
MATTHARDYBRAND Ok.. somebody thinks that they're funny in my room on my Twitter now..That damn Christian! Ha, sorry guys & gals!
Tuesday, June 01, 2010 1:08:28 AM via TweetDeck
Matt: That wasn't funny, mister. (deletes Jay's tweet)
Jay: Awe, you're a prude.
(-sometime even later-)
Matt: See what you did, Jay? Now all the little fangirls think we're fucking cuz they know I'm sharing a room with you.
Jay: (gets up and goes over to Matt to see) What? Really? Ha! Holy shit, they do!
TakersLovechild Oh, holy fuck...Matt and Christian sharing a room! Sex is being had, I knows it!
12:16 AM Jun 1st via Echofon
CottonCandyMelt Matt & Christian in same room? (giggles stupidly) I has dirty thoughts!
12:17 AM Jun 1st via web
SammysDemonBaby (reads Matt's last tweet & faints) OMFG, my mind's in places now! Matt & Jay sleeping in the same room together! Slash is so happening!
12:19 AM Jun 1st via Echofon
RabidFanGirlWWE (giggles insanely) Matt's fucking Jay! Matt's fucking Jay! Matt's fucking Jay! Matt's fucking Jay! Matt's fucking Jay! XDDDD!
12:24 AM Jun 1st via web
Terrahfry (has obscene thoughts of Matt/Jay smexage) Dammut, Matty, you fuckalicious piece of man...XD! I'm all distracted now!
12:27 AM Jun 1st via web
CottonCandyMelt Matt/Jay Humpage, FTFW!
12:30 AM Jun 1st via web
Matt: (shakes head) Adam and Jeff..?
Jay: Fucking like bunnies.
Matt: Chris and Mike..?
Jay: Fucked each other's brains out.. or what was left..
Matt: Randy and Punk..?
Jay: Fucking the hell outta JoMo.
Matt: Cena and Evan..?
Jay: Prolly too shy and prudish to fuck.
Matt: (sighs) Anyway, out of all those people. We get picked on?
Matt: (reading tweets)
AntiDivaLicious atMATTHARDYBRAND Woo-hoo! Go, Matty, fuck Christian till he can't fucking walk straight!
12:34 AM Jun 1st via Echofon
ButterflyHardy atMATTHARDYBRAND yeah! pound christy thru the mattress.. save sum enery to fuck 4 ur brother jeff ;p
12:35 AM Jun 1st via web
Matt: (flushes) Wow, fangirls have some demented thoughts..
Jay: (nods, biting on bottom lip) Uhm-hm.. So..? Why aren't we fucking?
Matt: (shrugs) I dunno. Get naked.
Jay: As you wish, Matty. (starts taking off clothes)
Based on mostly true events :P The tweet before Matt's was something like that, Matt deleted it so I couldn't remember. Might'a been this character [ instead of a P tho. I came up with the names CottonCandyMelt, TakersLovechild, SammysDemonBaby, RabidFanGirlWWE, AntiDivaLicious, and ButterflyHardy for this fic. If there's anyone out there anywhere with those names, I apologize now :P I checked them and as of now they're all available on Twitter. Terrahfry's tweet was my real tweet (CottonCandyMelt's was also my real tweets, XP) MATTHARDYBRAND's was real too. All others were cumpletely faked. Sorry. That night was uberlicious fun!
& yes, it was supposed to be that stupid. I apologize. Okay, Jeff's in TNA in real-life, prolly not in here... or well, he was there that night for this fic anyhow.. Oh, well. That's what AU is for :P & yus, Jeff hasta be w/ Addy in this.. yet again.. I just have a hard time seeing those two w/ anyone else (shrugs) I'm stubborn!