How to Make the Werewolves Mad

Chapter 3:

Paul and Embry


While he's sleeping put ketchup packets all around his bed, making it impossible to get out of bed.

Laugh at him when he tries anyway.

Ask him if he actually drinks out of the toilet.

Refuse to believe him when he says no.

Ask him if he'll be your 'guard dog'

Buy him a dog bed for his birthday

Give him mouthwash for his birthday. Tell him he has dog breath.

Throw silver spoons at him. (Get it? It's a werewolf pun Tehe)

Start an 'Edward dazzles me' fan club and elect him as president.

Force him to attend the meetings, every week.

Call the dog pound on him when he fazes.

Every time he does something nice say, 'Good boy!'

Every time he does something bad slap his nose.


Tell him to sit and wave a dog biscuit in his face.

Tell him that Aro and Claire are eloping in Mexico and he's not invited.

Tell him he's not a REAL werewolf, he's just a shapes shifting loser.

Force him to wear a leash and collar and tie him to a pole

Put up fliers saying "Lost Dog" with his picture on it.

When he's a werewolf steal his pants.

Buy him a cat.

Name it Edward.

Buy him dog food. Act offended when he won't eat it.

Tell him Claire is allergic to dogs.

When he asks why you were saying that just lift up an eyebrow and walk away.

Ask him if Edward dazzles him.

When he says no, use this (ANNOYING) catch phrase. "Sure, Sure." Just to piss him off.

A/N: *Sigh* in a bad mood… So if I don't get five reviews then I'm discontinuing this story. /:

Depressed and Annoyed,


Ps: any other werewolves that you can think of?