Okay, I don't own the rights to any of these characters, but I can sure as hell have fun with them! Enjoy!

The Griffins were sitting around the television, watching a "Battle of the Planets" revival on the Cartoon Network.

"I like the part where Princess flips over and you can see her undies," Chris spoke up enthusiastically.

"You would, you perv!" Meg grunted in Chris' direction.

"Meg's right, Chris," Peter interjected. "Besides, it's not like she's wearing crotchless undies. Now that would be something to see!"

"You know what really tics my fleas?" Brian asked, dry martini in paw. " That 1-Rover-1. He's the only canine character and the only trick he knows is how to use his tail as a propeller! He makes us all look like stupid mutts!"

"And the pot calls the kettle black," Stewie said matter-of-factly. "At least he doesn't drink like a fish and ruin family gatherings."

-Flashback to Thanksgiving

"...and you just can't trust women worth a damn anymore," Brian was saying as he haphazardly stacked his last ten martini glasses in a pyramid on the kitchen floor.

"Brian, you're just drunk," Lois said as she placed the huge roast turkey on the kitchen table. "You'll see things differently when you sober up."

"Nah! I think I just need to get laid...(gasp!) wow mama!"

Everyone in the living room was nearly scared out of their wits when a loud crash was heard coming from the kitchen.

"Oh my god, Peter!" Lois screamed as she ran into the room with tears in her eyes. "Thanksgiving's ruined! Brian's humping the turkey!"

"Eh..." Peter said with a shrug. "Who's up for Chinese?"

End Flashback

(Roll Opening Theme)