Enjoy the Silence

Prologue: Into the Fire

Silver hair and blood.

What did it mean?

No... I knew what it meant. But why? Why now, after I've finally forgotten of what he did. After I'd finally begun to forgive myself. Why now, when things begin to settle down again. Why... Why was he showing up in my dreams? Why was he thanking me? Why him, and not... sensei... Why was he whispering in my ear throughout the day, as if he were standing there next to me. Why can I see his face more perfectly, stained into my memory more perfectly than anyone else's? Why is his name the only one I hear?

His name.

Unforgiven.

Hated.

Painful!

But anger does nothing. Especially now. Anger does not answer questions. Action does.

Silently now, no one will notice you. Come on boy, faster! Get me out of here! You want to hear my voice, don't you? Hurry, before I die!

His voice... playful... beckoning... controlling. I can't ignore him anymore. I have to know. I have to see him.

Don't pretend you don't know where I am. Just look, do you remember this place? Remember, you little shit? Not much farther now, see, you know this place. You know!

My heart beats faster with every word. My eyes are strained. I want to turn back. But I can't! I have to listen, he controls me. I can't just not hear him. I'm so sorry sensei... I won't go another sleepless night. He must return. I must see him. Now!

You remember. Well, what are you fucking waiting for? There I am. Come now, you're not afraid, are you? You want to know, don't you? You want to see me, hear me, know me. Come for me. You must know. And I'll tell you. Now, come here! Come here, you bastard, now!

Dig. Almost there. His voice is getting louder. Yes... I must know. I must see him, I must hear him. He knows best.

Asuma. I'm so... so sorry.