A/N: Okay so I'm sooooooo sorry it has taken me this long to update. I'm in the middle of moving and classes just started and it has basically been one big hellstorm after another. Yay me! /sarcasm. I promise I did not abandon this story and I apologize that this chapter sucks...but...whatever.
I swear its not what it looks like at the end! You just have to wait till the next one for the explanation ;) Oh and beware there is alot of swearing in this chapter so if that's not your thing...
The silence that surrounded them when the engine was turned off was a little overwhelming.
For Gibbs, it meant that his time for thinking was almost up.
For Tony, it meant that he had to confront a possibly angry boss and present him with his resignation letter.
They sat in silence for at least ten minutes each contemplating their next move until Gibbs finally opened the door and stepped out.
Tony did not react to the sound of the driver's side door shutting and barely registered the cool night breeze hitting his face as his own door was opened.
Gibbs sighed and realized that DiNozzo was apparently someplace deep within his own mind and went to help him out.
When Gibbs had successfully placed Tony on the couch he turned, giving the kid a moment, and went into the kitchen to make coffee for him and tea for Tony.
An eight year old Anthony DiNozzo ran through the long halls of the mansion humming his "song of the week" which happened to be the new James Bond theme song.
He had recently watched the movie and it instantly became his favorite. He decided that he wanted to be a super secret spy when he grew up.
"Wouldn't that be soooo cool?" he exclaimed, speaking rapidly at Jim the gardener. "I mean I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted…and…and have like these really awesome gadgets and stuff. I mean I think they're called gadgets. Maybe, I dunno. But I'd love to have something like that. Oh! And Bond's car was soooo totally awesome! I could ride around forever in it and everyone would watch me and get jealous. Haha!"
Jim had stopped what he had been doing to listen to the overly excited heir and laughed along with him.
"Yeah Tony, that'd be fantastic! You gotta promise me though, that you'll come pick me up and let me drive around with you in that car of yours." He said.
"Oh definitely!" Tony shouted while laughing. "We'd go on these really cool missions and get the bad guys and stuff. I mean I really wanna be like him when I grow up. I could catch everyone and put them in a top secret place where they could never get out! I'd even come back here to put my father away—"
Tony trailed off as he realized he'd said too much. Jim's head had snapped up at that point and all color drained from his face.
"Tony, what do you mean?" he asked gently.
"Uhm..nothing. I didn't mean anything by that, sir." Tony spoke rather fast but his voice was shaky.
"No. Don't lie to me Anthony…if he's done something to hurt you I can help."
Realizing that he'd been caught in a lie and there was no way out of this, Tony decided he might as well tell the truth.
"No," Tony said darkly "you can't help me…you'll get hurt."
Jim was surprised when he saw Anthony switch from an excited demeanor to a dangerously small and broken one in an instant. He urged the young boy to tell him what was happening and finally after several minutes, Tony caved. He was shocked to discover the boy's father had been using him as a punching bag for a pretty long time and decided to confront him later.
Yes, being a spy would be great! Anthony thought as he continued to run around the hallways trying his best to imitate the "spy moves" as he liked to call them.
He stopped shortly to catch his breath and heard heavy footsteps catching up to him.
"BOY!" his father yelled.
Tony internally shuddered and outwardly gasped.
What had he done this time?
"Yes, father?" Tony asked as politely as he could while turning to face his father.
"Were my previous instructions not clear to you?" he spat at Tony. "I thought I specifically told you NEVER to tell anyone about our lessons."
"Uh…" he sputtered a little and shook his head. "No…I mean yes they were clear, sir."
"Then what in God's name was that dreadful excuse for a gardener talking about? Because I know that you would never go against my rules now would you? His father continued, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
"No, sir..I—" But he was cut off.
"Because you know what happens when you defy an order, don't you boy?"
"Good. Now I will ask you once more, were my instructions not clear?"
"Yes, sir, they were…but..but I..I didn't mean to say anything..and it's not his fault..I was talking about James Bond and I forgot for just a second and it slipped out….and then he asked me to tell him the truth..and well mother tells me never to lie and—"
His explanation was cut short as DiNozzo Snr. grabbed Tony by the arm and roughly pulled him out of the hallway and into the adjacent room.
"Well now. Apparently they were not clear enough and I shall have to teach them to you again." The pleasure in his father's voice was sickening to Tony and he thought he would pass out at just the sight of the metal fireplace poker his father was now wielding.
Tony shuddered and hugged the pillow he'd been clutching closer to his body. His mind was on fire tonight and his memories never ceased to bring him discomfort.
He only noticed that Gibbs had entered the room when a steaming mug of tea was thrust in front of his face.
He looked up at a surprisingly mellow-looking Gibbs, who had also apparently been calling his name for a while now, and took the peace offering.
Gibbs stood for a while contemplating something while Tony stared into his mug.
"I uh." Tony started. "I guess you think…I mean I know you… God. DAMMIT!"
He instantly stood up causing the pillow that was taking up residence on his lap to fall to the floor. He looked pathetically like a confused puppy as he walked around in rushed circles before deciding on striding towards the basement.
When he reached the bottom landing of the basement, Tony quickly walked over to the rear cupboard where he knew the boss kept his Bourbon. Before he could get his good hand wrapped around the bottle, however, Gibbs practically ran across the floor and pushed him away from the shelf. He'd never seen him move so fast in his life.
"What the fuck man?" Tony half slurred and half yelled.
Gibbs's eyes were flaring with anger at the desperate measures this boy had to go through tonight to get rid of the memories his bastard of a father had left instilled in him.
"You don't need to drink anymore."
Tony just stared back at him; his eyes turning from confused to angry in an instant. Apparently, he misunderstood Gibbs's angry glare.
"Sit down Tony." He said softly.
With a resolute nod, Tony obeyed and took a seat on the bench opposite the brilliantly crafted boat.
"I'm gonna turn in my resignation letter tomorrow."
Gibbs was dumbfounded. He was most definitely not expecting that reaction.
"The hell you will!"
"No—I can't work for you anymore Gibbs. Not anymore. Not like this."
"Like what Tony? Hmm. Please tell me 'cuz I would really like to know why the hell you would ever think that?"
"I..I can't do my job without some part of my past coming back to kick me in the ass. Actually, I don't even think I can do this job at all. I always fuck everything up." Tony's words were blending together even more now and he was desperately trying to get across to Gibbs that he just wanted to disappear. To make sure that no one would ever see this side of him again; and in order to do that he'd have to leave. He couldn't allow himself to have such close relationships with people. He couldn't get close to them because he would end up hurting them.
And then Gibbs did something Tony didn't expect.
He smacked him across the face.