The King of Evil stopped practicing his organ playing for the 'Final Conflict' and turned to Princess Zelda trapped in a pink crystal hovering some way behind him. "What?"
Zelda leant against the side of her little prison and sighed. "Can you check up on Link please?"
The Gerudo snorted and turned back to his wonderful church piano. "No."
"Whyyy?" asked Zelda, raising her voice a couple of octaves and fluttering her eyelids in the whining damsel voice. "I want to see if he's any closer to sa-ave mee!"
"Last time I checked," Ganondorf stated, clearly not going to change his mind despite her tone, "he was chasing freaking chickens about a yard."
"But that was a-ages ago!"
"Correction; one day ago."
Zelda dropped her annoyance mission and slid down to a sit inside the giant pink force-field as Ganondorf cracked his knuckles to start playing again. Conjuring a hint of a smirk, she sang out, "You're gonna get arthritis!"
Ganondorf slammed his hand on the keys of his organ, blasting Zelda's ears with a horrible blare of out-of-tune. The princess shut up with a squeak and covered her pointed ears, earning a chuckle from the wizard. "Hey!" the Wisdom Bearer said.
"Stop interrupting me," Ganondorf replied plainly.
Zelda sucked her teeth as the ominous music started again. She listened all the way through, until Ganondorf began to restart the tune in a loop (so that Link would hear it the whole way up the stairs). At this point, she began to shout out, "A flat! G sharp! B, B, F natural-!"
Ganondorf's tune came to a messy halt and he stamped his foot hard, almost shaking the whole castle. "What is with you? Act like a princess in distress for the Goddesses' sakes and leave me be!"
"Don't expect me to stand here with a pitiful look!" Zelda snapped back. "I'll go mad and look like a complete ninny if Link doesn't hurry up!"
Ganondorf paused, fingers hovering over the keys. "Princesses put trust in their Hero."
"Not when the hero takes bloomin' ages to do it! The whole point of those fairy tales is that the Hero comes along into the evil castle, has a sword, monster comes, chop-chop and happily ever after!" Zelda fumed, punching the crystal. The magical barrier rippled and absorbed her attack, only making her angrier so she crossed her arms and scowled.
Ganondorf shrugged it off. "Well, I'm not one to complain, but it is pretty boring. Let's hope the duel will go better. For me, that is."
Zelda groaned. "I hope to give that slowpoke a stern word after all this."
"If he's still alive."
"How are you so sure?"
"Because I'm the Bearer of Power."
"Screw the Prophecy. At this rate, I could've done away with the whole universe without seeing the Hero," Ganondorf snorted. "He'd be too busy finding his chickens."
Zelda didn't reply, not because she was stumped but because she was just tired of rallying words with Ganondorf now, as time killing as it was. Instead, she thought up something else to say. "Ganon, do you have a girlfriend?"
Zelda scuffled her feet idly. "I dunno, I just wanted to talk about something."
The King of Evil raised an eyebrow. "No I do not. I had women around me in the desert and frankly got a little fed up with them."
"Does that mean you're gay?" Zelda teased.
Surprisingly, Ganondorf did nothing more than put his hand to his forehead and slide it down to pinch the bridge of his long nose. "Where did you come to that conclusion?"
Zelda pouted. "C'mon Ganny, I want to kill some time! It's a lot funnier if you blew your temper on me, and Link might hear and get his back over here!"
Ganondorf only rolled his eyes and kept his back to her, tapping the middle C key of they organ board. "I might as well play something else to pass the time. Any requests?"
The imprisoned princess raised an eyebrow to this offer, but shrugged it off and racked her brain for a good song. "Phantom of the Opera Intro, please."
Ganondorf grinned inwardly at this request and readied for the playthrough. "Everyone likes that one, especially when organs are involved. Alright…"
After around three runs of the Phantom of the Opera, Toccata, the Star Wars main and the Death Star theme, Link still hadn't come and Ganondorf had pulled up a chair to sit on rather than stand before the organ. Zelda looked ready to sleep, but perked up when she heard a distant screams of one of the various Stalfos and Moblins patrolling the bottom floor of Ganon's Tower. Shortly after this, her heart leapt when she heard a yell of 'Hyaah!' The princess leapt to her feet and pounded the wall of the crystal field to alert her captor. "Link's here! Link's here!"
Ganondorf cocked his head and listened, sure enough hearing the young warrior's war cries. "It's about time."
"You wanted him to come?" Zelda asked, a little puzzled.
Ganondorf got up and kicked the chair away into a far corner, with quite a bit of force. "I was getting bored and I've been waiting for a worthwhile battle for ages. You do the damsel face whilst I get the music ready-"
There was a loud holler of pain, which didn't sound like a Stalfo or Moblin or Keese or whatnot, and both Ganondorf and Zelda instantly screamed 'DAMMIT!' when they recognised it as Link. Zelda smacked her head against the wall of her prison and growled in frustration, Ganondorf slamming his head on the organ instead.
"Idiot should be more careful," grumbled the princess, sitting again. "Looks like it's the waiting game again."
"I damn hope the Moblins chuck him outside the tower rather than far away," Ganondorf groaned, getting his head off the keyboard. "I can't bear more of this now."
"Maybe he was low on health," Zelda wondered aloud, drawing invisible circles in on the pink magic wall encasing her. "Or he's really not cut to be the Hero."
Ganondorf scowled at this remark. "And I ask why the Goddesses chose him at all, if that's true?"
Zelda shrugged. "I dunno, maybe they did a lucky dip and picked out his name."
"Possible. Or they were just messing with us."
There was a pause, and silence as there was not a sound of another crony being hacked to pieces by a legendary sword, or even the Chosen Hero coming back into the building at all.
"Um, so if he has to come tomorrow," Zelda asked quietly, looking to Ganondorf. "What shall we do?"
Ganondorf rubbed his eyes wearily, finding the chair again and simply sitting, leaving the organ alone. "I might just sneak out and get something to eat. I'm starving."
"… If it's nice, can I have some? I'm hungry too." Zelda asked sheepishly, doing her wide puppy-dog eyes.
It only took one tired look into the princess' eyes to have the Gerudo resign. "Fine, I might as well. But I'll do that later, just in case he comes in whilst I'm gone. That'd be very embarrassing."
Zelda pulled off the pout and began to twirl a strand of hair to amuse herself. "OK, but you know what this calls for?"
"Hm?" Ganondorf looked back and up at her, slightly confused.
"A hundred bottles of milk on the wall, a hundred bottles of milk…"